Parents' psychological compensation (Weibo) hinders children's inner growth.

Parents of wealthy families are always busy with work and have no time to accompany their children. Because of psychological compensation, they always try their best to meet their children's material needs. This is equivalent to abandoning children emotionally, encouraging children to give up their inner growth, and letting children rely on others and tangible materials to find themselves.

Money worship and materialism bring wrong values to children

Money worship represents how easy it is for people to choose simple material temptations and forget complex interpersonal relationships. As children become more and more self-centered and indifferent to the needs of others, money worship absorbs the goals of life and altruism. Money worship objectifies our most precious interpersonal relationships and passes on the wrong values to children.

"Shopping therapy" hinders children's ability to deal with emotions

Many people have heard of the term "shopping therapy", but if a young girl has to rely on shopping to develop interpersonal relationships, she can only show her strength in the store, or take shopping as a way to relieve stress, there will be a big problem. This may not only make children tend to worship money, but also hinder them from developing their ability to deal with sadness. Problems should be dealt with through thinking, insight and empathy, not shoes and wallets.

Money worship also emphasizes that competition has become a common problem for wealthy families.

Money worship and competition are two sides of a whole, and paying too much attention to competition is a common problem of many wealthy families. Some reports show that college students with high money worship characteristics are far more likely to choose "surpassing others" than to cooperate with friends. If parents don't emphasize the balance between morality and grades, children may even cheat their best friends in the competition.

Excessive intervention by parents prevents children from growing up happily.

Because of love, care, pressure and meticulous management from outside, children are unconsciously deprived of opportunities for internal growth. When parents insist on copying adults' own interests, values and even careers, it will be futile and will hinder children.

2. How should we raise children in an affluent age? ?

Make reasonable family rules and implement them patiently.

In wealthy families, the importance of discipline is often overlooked. When time becomes the most valued value in the family, the work that requires hard work but can't be immediate is often put aside. Therefore, if the children don't wash the dishes after breakfast, the servants at home will do it. Busy parents usually feel guilty about not spending more time with their children, so they are rarely willing to "waste" their time on conflict and anger, ignoring discipline issues. As a result, children don't learn how to take responsibility, resist impulse or think for others, which is very dangerous for teenagers. Parents should formulate a set of clear, firm and fair family rules for their children to abide by and avoid arguments about what can and cannot be done.

Challenge the value of "the more the better"

Understanding and recognizing the challenges that "rich culture" will bring, and actively facing and coping with it will make your education more effective! Choose a parenting style that suits you, and don't follow suit. I believe that many parents are uneasy about the over-emphasis on the value of "the more the better" in wealthy communities, but they choose to remain silent so as not to become misfits. Just as children feel that they made their own choices, we also need to feel that our parenting choices come from the depths of our hearts. If you don't agree with the policies of the community and the school, please say so. As long as thoughtful people are willing to invest, it will promote important changes in the community.

Encourage children to develop "intrinsic motivation"

Intrinsic motivation refers to encouraging children to engage in activities that satisfy themselves. It is the motivation for children to explore their interests, abilities and hobbies, and it is also the basis for all real learning. Compared with internal incentives, children can learn spontaneously, while external incentives can drive children to participate in activities and get some related gains, such as grades, prizes and local newspaper reports. The most precious thing that external motivation brings to children is not to gain learning experience, but the benefits that follow, so it deprives them of the excitement of learning. External motivation often confuses performance and learning. Compared with children who receive internal motivation, the result of this is lower grades, lower performance evaluation, lower interest in learning, worse creativity and greater psychological trauma.

Education is conducted in a neutral way of communication.

Warmth is the feelings of parents' participation, understanding, acceptance and care at different levels, as well as the ever-evolving family communication with their children. Children who grow up under the care of their parents usually have better adaptability, and the family communication between parents and children is continuous and coherent. No matter what kind of parenting style, the two ends of parenting scale are excessive intervention, infringement, fetter, criticism and resistance, and the most suitable family communication style is neutrality and justice. Therefore, we should pay attention to how to keep the balance of education within this range.

Parents, don't forget your growth.

Mother is the key to bringing happiness to children. When the mother can take care of herself and her children, the children can thrive. Please make sure that you attach importance to your growth and development, and make sure that you have your own living space, which can accommodate things that make you happy except your family. Interest and enthusiasm can enrich your mind and help your family bring back a loving, dedicated and contented mother. It is really difficult for parents to fully meet their children's needs. The so-called perfect mother is an illusion, so we'd better put it aside.

Different ages have different parenting strategies.

How can we help children deal with the inevitable personal and interpersonal problems? It generally depends on whether we understand the normal progress of children's development. For example, showing sympathy is helpful for children of any age; Other interventions, such as calling a teacher or not intervening at all, have a lot to do with the child's age and the stage of self-development. Understanding children's abilities and challenges at different stages of development will help them cultivate independent and healthy people. Whether children should quit baseball teams or enter gifted classes should be considered according to their needs and abilities, not according to your anxiety.

Finally, we need to set an example and show the spirit of altruism and reciprocity not only at home but also in a collective environment. If our eyes can focus on the really important places, instead of spending money to eliminate disasters and falling into the destructive values under the rich culture, then perhaps we can reduce the emotional distress of the favored children we raised with our heart.