According to a survey of 2003 people conducted by the Social Investigation Center of China Youth Newspaper, 69.4% of the respondents said that it is common for parents to accompany them, but only 24.9% of the respondents agreed with their parents' behavior, and 67.0% of the respondents thought that parents' accompanying them would bring great pressure to their children.
Many parents will be confused when they see these data. They all spend money, time and energy and devote themselves wholeheartedly to their children's study. Why don't they appreciate it?
In fact, there is a limit to everything, and so is "accompanying reading". Correct accompanying reading can make children make rapid progress, while wrong accompanying reading will only make children stagnate.
In fact, as far as the current domestic education model is concerned, it is very feasible for parents to accompany them.
Compared with the small population in the west, their education is more inclined to elite small class education. However, China has a large population, with 30 to 40 students in a class, unbalanced educational resources and teachers, and some children lack management. In such a large class environment, it may be difficult to improve their learning skills. Moreover, it is actually good for parents to accompany you.
1. Closer parent-child relationship
In this era, we often emphasize the importance of "companionship". Parent-child conflicts in many families mostly come from parents' insufficient companionship with their children. They often only pay attention to their academic achievements and judge their learning process according to their achievements, which will make children feel inferior and lost, and the distance from their parents will only get farther and farther.
When you are with your children, you will know that your parents will learn synchronously and make progress together, and you will feel more secure in your heart. Parents spend more time with their children, which can better enter their hearts.
2. Improve children's self-confidence
Parents can give timely feedback in the process of accompanying students, which plays a great role in improving children's self-confidence from an early age.
Of course, the feedback here refers to the place where the child has done well, and it should be praised in a timely and specific manner. It is not a perfunctory and meaningless sentence of "You are great", "You are really smart" and "You are amazing", but a concrete compliment to the children's good works: "The colors you painted are well matched" and "The idea of solving this problem is clear" and so on.
When a child does something wrong, parents can correct it in time and give it to the child in the right way. At this time, children will not feel depressed, but will find themselves with more room for progress, because parents don't scold, but teach themselves methods.
3. Enhance children's sense of security
Many parents worry that their children will be bullied at school, will obey Nuo Nuo and will be afraid to speak. But at home, having parents around is a great sense of security for children. Children who grow up in this way will be braver and face problems and challenges more actively.
However, in real life, our parents often fall into the "minefield of accompanying students", which is why 69% of the respondents feel that accompanying parents will bring pressure to their children.
What mistakes do parents make when they accompany them? Did you step on the pit, too?
1. has been nagging and cursing "reading with a stick"
As parents, we consume too much tenderness in education, so that it is easy to get out of control in the process of accompanying reading, thus venting all our anger on our children.
"You can't do such a simple question. Did you listen carefully in class? "
"How many times have I told you, why don't you remember anything?"
"Hold out your hand, you won't remember it if you don't hit it, will you?"
……
I believe that some parents will regret and apologize after these words and behaviors, but these words and behaviors have deeply hurt their children at the moment they are issued, which not only suppresses their enthusiasm for learning, but also makes them feel tired of learning.
2. High standards and strict standards accompany reading.
There is also a kind of parents who pin all their hopes on their children, and must make them meet the learning standards: write plans for their children every day, formulate tactics for asking questions, how many sets of test papers to complete every day, and be sure to do all the questions correctly before taking a rest. ...
The constant bombing of these "wolf mothers" and "tiger fathers" far exceeds the children's endurance. Children are often under mental stress, prone to fear, anxiety, inferiority and nervousness, and have serious psychological problems.
Step 3 arrange accompanying reading
There is also a kind of parents who help their children deal with all the trivial matters in life and let them only be responsible for studying hard.
I have seen this kind of case. Children's grades have been in the top three grades, which are deeply loved by parents and teachers. But in the third grade, he suddenly got depression because he couldn't adapt to school accommodation and interpersonal communication.
Because of the long-term arrangement of parents, the child lost the ability to take care of himself. When they have to live alone without the protection of their parents and deal with people alone, all the helplessness and pain come to mind instantly, and their study and life are meaningless.
I don't object to your parents wanting to accompany you, and even appreciate your courage and sacrifice, but you must be prepared and do your homework before accompanying you.
1. Interest attraction method
Every child is not interested in learning. Learning is far less interesting than games, TV, ipad and toys. Especially the younger the child, the shorter his attention span will be. It is time to test his parents' patience and wisdom.
Don't start scolding, criticizing and nagging children at once, but you can use the content that children are interested in to guide their attention to learning.
For example, children like to play the glory of the king, especially the role of Kyle Polo, so we can tell them the story of Kyle Polo, and then stop telling it halfway and let the children find the story in the book by themselves.
We can also use digital games that children like to play to attract children to do math problems. All aspects of life can be, depending on the patience of parents.
2. Planning encouragement law
As adults, we deeply know the importance of planning, and a plan suitable for children can get twice the result with half the effort.
But don't make a plan for your child, you must make a plan with your child. What do you mean? Many times, parents are making decisions. Today they will review their Chinese, write two sets of papers tomorrow and recite ancient poems the day after tomorrow ... but the children have no right to speak at all. The plan at this time is that they are cages.
However, if you plan with your child and plan with your child's thoughts, your child will be full of motivation. At the same time, the plan will also constrain your child and help him complete the task efficiently.
In the process of completing the plan, parents' encouragement is also essential, and children are not given a dead goal. "Beautiful handwriting this time", "faster completion" and "improved accuracy" ... Parents' recognition is the biggest motivation for children.
3. Create a good "learning area"
Many parents choose to let their children do their homework in the living room because of the convenience of the map, but in fact, a good learning environment can also give children a sense of ritual and bondage.
Choose an area in the study, or the desk in the bedroom as the "study area". This area can only be used for study, and no distractions can be put, such as computers, ipad, dolls, snacks and so on.
In the process of accompanying students, if parents keep playing with mobile phones, it will also have a great impact on their children, which is also a mistake that parents are prone to make when accompanying students.
In a word, it is a courageous thing to choose to accompany your child, but since you have decided to give up everything to accompany your child, please be patient and care. I believe that in the process of accompanying your child, your child will get better and better!
I am the mother of Xiao B and a 5-year-old baby. In the process of raising and educating children, you can ask me any questions. I hope my advice can help you solve the confusion and troubles in the process of taking care of your baby and let our children grow up better!