Let children develop morally, intellectually and physically in an all-round way and cultivate a sound personality.
Nowadays, many parents pay more attention to their children's academic performance. In order to get their children into prestigious schools, most parents want their children to take Olympic math classes and English classes. It seems that as long as you study hard, you can ignore everything else. I think that in the long run, children will go better and further only if they are fully developed morally, intellectually and physically.
1, cultivate good moral character and make children a capitalized person.
One of the core tasks of family education is to train children to become real people. I have always thought that character is more important than achievement. I told my son from a very young age that it is not enough to study well, but also to be honest, to know how to respect others, to be caring and to be helpful.
When he was a little sensible, I told him my birthday and his father's birthday to remember. And remind him: when you celebrate your birthday, mom and dad will do some activities to make you happy, so should you do something for our birthday? He will draw a picture, write a few words of blessing, or make some other small gifts. Although he looks a little immature, he is full of love. At first, he needed to remind him, and slowly he took the initiative to do it.
Because of his sunny personality and helpful personality, many students are willing to make friends with him, and some friends talk to him about their troubles. He will enthusiastically help his friends with ideas and ways. Because of his good academic performance, his classmates often call him and ask him how to solve the problem, and he will patiently explain it to his classmates. This will of course sacrifice his study time, especially after the pressure of studying in junior and senior high schools is increasing. After I knew it, I encouraged him to lend a helping hand to his friends at critical times. In the process of helping others, he also gained friendship and happiness, and at the same time exercised his ability.
2. In learning, the methods and schools that suit you are the best.
I think methods are more important than knowledge in learning. From my son's primary school, I began to encourage him to summarize the learning methods that suit him, making it easier for him to learn and the effect will be better. I will also find some good learning methods from the Internet and introduce them to my son. If he feels good, he will integrate into his own method system. Important Subjects My son spends a lot of time thinking and summarizing almost every subject, and integrates what the book and the teacher say. After he was admitted to Tsinghua, his alma mater invited him back to school twice to introduce his experience to the next senior three students.
I have always been cautious about applying for subject training courses. In the fifth grade of primary school, I only let him attend a training class in a district Olympic math school. Although it is difficult to learn, children like it and make rapid progress, which is of great help to enter key schools. In junior high school, because children don't have much study pressure and have some rich time to learn more things, they signed up for a general training class with strong teachers in the second semester of junior high school. After my son was admitted to Beijing No.4 Middle School, because this is a great school, I think it is ok to follow the requirements of my school teacher. There is no need to distract the attention of extracurricular training classes, and it is most important to ensure classroom learning. Therefore, my son has never reported for extracurricular training classes since he was in high school.
On the issue of choosing a school, I always think that what is suitable for children is the best. When I chose high school, I was puzzled: although my son was among the best in junior high school, if he entered Beijing No.4 Middle School, all the students in Beijing were excellent. If his son comes last, can he accept it? My son made some consultations and comprehensively considered various factors. The answer he gave me was: I can accept it. I found that my son has a good ability to withstand pressure, study independently and is optimistic. In addition, No.4 Middle School pays attention to cultivating students with all-round development and never makes up lessons. My son and I like to have a physical education class or PE class every day. Therefore, I encouraged him to choose Beijing No.4 Middle School. Facts have proved that this choice is correct.
Physical exercise can strengthen the body and make children optimistic and confident.
Both my father and I like sports. Since he was very young, we have taken him to participate in all kinds of sports. I also enrolled my children in various sports training classes according to their interests, including swimming, roller skating and table tennis. He not only exercised his body and enriched his life, but also cultivated an optimistic and confident character who was not afraid of setbacks.
Because of his sunny personality, his classmates often play with him. Once, he told me jokingly, I have to run after school, or some classmates will come to play ball with me. I'm afraid I don't have enough time to do my homework.
Although he was nervous in high school, I encouraged him to take more physical exercise. Only with a strong body can we bear more and more study pressure. He joined the school martial arts team in high school, and won the champion of three-way Changquan project and the third place in the preliminary sabre project in Beijing 201kloc-0/primary and secondary school martial arts competition. Although it took him a while to exercise, it is good for children's physical and mental health, more agile thinking and improved learning efficiency.
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Some thoughts and experiences on children's education and training
First of all, I would like to thank teachers and schools for their training and education of my children in recent years. Education is a social project. Without the attention of schools, parents and all walks of life, children cannot grow up healthily and happily. Our children's academic performance in school has always been among the best, and they are rated as "three good students" and "excellent class cadres" by the school every year. So today I was invited by the school to talk about my personal experience in educating children. To tell you the truth, I feel both honored and ashamed. Actually, I did a terrible job. Children's grades are the result of their own efforts, but also the result of teachers' hard training.
Children are always the most persistent hope of parents. Parents' love for their children is always the most direct, selfless and broad. They all hope that their children are smart, healthy and happy, and they all hope that their children will become useful talents in society in the future. Therefore, how to educate and cultivate children is always the most concerned topic for every parent. Parents from generation to generation are exploring, summarizing and innovating. In the process of educating and cultivating children, our family is also constantly thinking and learning. The questions we think mainly focus on: what is our goal of educating children? What kind of children do we need to cultivate? How should we educate and train children? How can we establish a close relationship with children? How to make children fully trust us? What are the criteria for our success in educating children? When we think deeply about these problems, we begin to feel that all the problems are not problems, and basically the answer to each question comes to our eyes in our thinking, so how to do a good job in family education and related issues becomes more and more clear. Because of this, I have been thinking that the ultimate success of education depends on the social environment, whether people can adapt to this society and do things well. I think this is the most basic standard to measure the success of adults, so should our education be implemented around such a goal? For my child, from his growth process, I personally think that there are several points that I want to share with you.
First, get along with each other on an equal footing and build a friendly and trusting friendship.
Establishing a good relationship of equality, harmony and mutual trust with children is the most important foundation in modern family education. From about two years old, we have paid great attention to the way of communicating with children, including tone, attitude, expression, skills and so on. We have the following experience:
1. Always instill the concept that "mom and dad are your good friends" and make full use of every possible concrete action and example to make children feel that their parents are really his good friends, thus establishing a good relationship of friendship and mutual trust. This is the earliest and most important foundation for parents and children to get along with each other all their lives. In this way, the child has established a good communication bridge with you and laid a good foundation for him to establish good interpersonal relationships in the future. Don't let children be afraid of you but willing to get close to you. This is what every parent should do.
2. Fully respect children's freedom and rights, listen carefully to their every speech, do not interrupt their speech easily, encourage children to express their ideas boldly and fully, and discuss, analyze and guide with them when necessary; But we never impose the views of adults on children, and let them live happily in the kingdom of absolute freedom of thought and speech. We think it is very important to fully respect children for their healthy growth.
When you think the child has made a mistake, the only thing parents should do is to calm down, try to calm down their possibly inflated emotions and avoid shouting or snoring loudly. Be more rational and patient with children, guide them to understand correctly, and let them realize their mistakes consciously. This is much better than forcing children to admit their mistakes, and sometimes what we adults think is wrong is not really wrong. We also pay special attention to not hurting children's self-esteem at any time. For example, some parents unconsciously accuse their children of lying. Parents must not easily hurt their children's innocent and fragile hearts with words that adults seem to be no big deal.
4. Share every happiness and progress with your child, and sometimes let him share your happiness with you.
Second, let nature take its course and follow the law of children's psychological growth.
Before my child went to primary school, I didn't deliberately make up math and Chinese for him. I always play with him, read books with him and play various games to promote intellectual development and language development. Other parents are afraid that their children are dirty and dangerous, and don't let them play with this or that, but we always try our best to expose them to more things, let them know and cultivate their curiosity and desire to explore things. Even in the sixth grade, many parents thought that they should go all out to study, and we bought him those assembled toys. Many complicated things can be quickly assembled according to the provided drawings, and his spatial imagination and hands-on ability have been greatly improved in the process of playing, and his attention will be highly concentrated. This kind of play will greatly promote his future study. In the process of playing, he is also challenging himself, overcoming difficulties and learning by himself. In the future study, he will also take the initiative to face the problems to be solved and face the reality optimistically. However, the reality of this exam-oriented education has actually greatly affected the growth law of children, but as a parent, I can only guide and minimize this disadvantage and influence.
Third, cultivate a confident, sunny and healthy personality.
As a person who will enter the society in the future, his self-confidence, sunshine and healthy personality have great influence on his future work, life and study. Self-confidence can make him dare to face difficulties without timidity, sunshine can make him see the positive side when he is frustrated, grasp the general direction of life, and mental health can make him face many injustices in life peacefully and tolerably, and face life positively. These qualities can only be cultivated slowly through dribs and drabs in life. For example, I encourage him to actively communicate with his classmates and teachers, not afraid of people, and dare to express himself. In the lower grades of primary school, many parents may be very concerned about their children's grades and are not serious in class. In addition to caring about his study, I am more concerned about whether he can communicate and interact with teachers and children normally. If he can communicate with others normally in this environment, he is happy, so other things can be done naturally as long as he works hard. Confidence also comes from children's work. Therefore, I always encourage him to actively participate in many group activities and let him accumulate a lot of experience in dealing with problems. If he succeeds, he will have a sense of accomplishment. If he fails, he can at least accumulate experience and lessons, enhance his psychological tolerance for failure, and know how to do things in the future. As for honor, I don't think it's too serious, otherwise children will become vain and stressed. As parents, we should pay attention to the process of doing things, not too much attention to the results. As long as the child works hard, we should encourage him. Never deprive a child of the right to do things, even if he doesn't do well.
No matter what happens when a person grows up, family is the first stain on his character, and parents and family are the first teachers to shape his behavior. If children see parents who solve problems violently at home every day, what they learn is attack and resentment; If children see loving parents at home every day, what they learn is respect and care. Behavioral habits and ways of thinking formed in the family environment will gradually evolve into future characters, which will naturally be reflected in future life. Therefore, we attach great importance to creating a healthy, happy and positive family environment atmosphere for children at home, so that children can have a cheerful, sunny and healthy personality.
Fourth, the courage to take responsibility and the cultivation of independent ability.
One day, one must face the future life independently. In our unit, I witnessed a newly graduated college student's first day of work, accompanied by his father. He hasn't been in class for two days, but he said he couldn't go to work. He's so tired! If you don't ask for leave, let his father ask for leave for him! Such a person, although he graduated from college, looks like an adult in his twenties, but he has not completely divorced from his parents psychologically, has not been completely weaned, and has not been truly independent. What can you expect such a person to do? No truly independent person, when encountering difficulties, his first thought is to ask his parents for help, not what "I" will do, so he can't really take responsibility. Therefore, I think it is very important to cultivate children's independence. Independence is not limited to what children do alone, but to let children think independently, choose independently and judge independently. Now, nothing special. I'm just on the phone with my teacher to find out about him. He solved everything at school, even if it was embarrassing. Of course, as parents, we should pay attention to communicating with his thoughts and pay attention to his ideological trends. Letting go is not to ignore it. As parents, we should always pay attention to him silently and give him guidance and encouragement when he needs it.
Fifth, teach people to fish and cultivate children's ability to learn to learn.
The ability to learn independently is very important for children. But the premise is that parents should teach him how to study and develop good study habits. I haven't checked my child's homework much, but let him check it himself and cultivate his habit of self-examination. But I will randomly check his homework to see the quality and accuracy of his homework, so as to judge whether his learning attitude is normal. We didn't do well in our study habits, probably because we didn't pay much attention to academic performance in the lower grades and didn't grasp some details, which led to some bad study habits of my child, thus affecting the stability of his academic performance. Usually, we should pay more attention to inspiring children to think and master learning methods. It is not the responsibility or ability of parents to help children solve all the problems they encounter in their studies, but it is what parents should do to inspire their children to think, develop good thinking habits and help them master learning methods. What is a good habit of thinking? In short, you can think about three aspects of every knowledge problem-"what", "why" and "how to do it". Because this kind of thinking can not only help children "know why", but also help children "know why". Diligent and thoughtful children will gradually master a set of learning methods (previewing, reviewing, attending classes, remembering, thinking, solving problems, taking exams, etc.). ) That suits them. With good learning methods, children can learn with ease, and learning will not be difficult for children. It is necessary to find problems in children's growth in time, give timely guidance and help, solve problems and overcome difficulties. When children fail, we should give them more spiritual encouragement. The road to growth is long and uneven. Parents should give their children more warmth and care, and let them have the confidence to overcome failure. A child's learning ability is with him all his life. Don't just pay attention to this achievement in his student days, but also pay attention to the cultivation of his lifelong learning ability, and don't let him lose interest in learning for the sake of his achievements.
In short, different people have different views on children's education, and different children have different personalities and different methods. But in general, parents should be more rational at all times, and don't just pay attention to academic performance. Learning is very important, but it is not the whole of education. Don't let children lose confidence and positive attitude towards life under heavy pressure. For the sake of children's life happiness, pay more attention to children's all-round physical and mental development. As long as he is a positive, sunny, confident, mentally healthy person who dares to face difficulties, it is natural to have excellent academic performance. With good comprehensive quality, they can face all kinds of difficulties bravely and confidently, adapt to society and become strong in their future lives.