"Book of Rites Quli Shang" said: "If you enter, you are forbidden; if you enter, you ask about customs; if you enter, you ask about taboos." With the frequent and extensive international communication, it requires business people to understand and correctly use international business etiquette in order to communicate, communicate and cooperate in a friendly and sincere way.
China has the most business dealings with western countries. Due to different cultural backgrounds, there are many completely different places in specific etiquette. Specifically, there are seven aspects that must be understood first.
1, treat!
We have very different attitudes towards compliments from westerners. When others praise, although they are very happy, they always seem to disagree, and politely deny others' praise to show modesty: "Not yet!" " "Just so-so!" "How can I compare with you!" "I'm flattered!" Wait a minute.
Westerners' attitude towards praise can be described as "jubilant" and always respond to others' praise with "thank you".
2. hospitality
When we get along with others, we are always used to thinking about others from our own perspective. This is manifested in hospitality and being a guest. Conscious guests always try not to disturb their hosts and prevent them from spending money, so they always politely refuse their hosts' hospitality. For example, when the host asks the guest what he wants to drink, the guest will generally say "I'm not thirsty" or "don't bother"; When the host pours wine for the guests at the dinner table, the guests always refuse and say "enough, enough", but in fact, the guests don't necessarily want to drink, they are often just being polite. Therefore, the competent host will not directly ask the guests what they want, but actively try to figure out the needs of the guests and take the initiative to give them satisfaction. At the dinner table, the hospitable host always persuades the guests to drink and serve. Therefore, the atmosphere of China people's hospitality and site visit is often warm: one party keeps persuading, while the other party keeps refusing.
Foreigners, especially westerners, whether they are hosts or guests, are very straightforward and don't mention it. When a guest comes to the door, the host will directly ask the other party "What would you like to drink"; If a guest wants something to drink, he can directly ask the other person "What's the drink" and choose his favorite drink. If the guest really doesn't want to drink, the guest will say "thank you!" I don't want to drink. "At the dinner table, the host will ask the guests if they want some more. If the guest has said enough, the host will generally not persuade the guest to eat and drink.
3. Modesty and self-affirmation
We always think that modesty is a virtue. I always like to be modest about my abilities and achievements. If you don't do this, you may be accused of "immodesty" and "arrogance". For example, before giving a speech, China scholars usually say, "I am not well educated and fully prepared, please give me more advice"; At the banquet, the hospitable host said to the dishes on the table, "There are no more dishes, please help yourself"; When the boss entrusts an important task, he usually says modestly, "I'm afraid I'm not up to it."
Foreigners, especially westerners, have no habit of modesty. They believe that if a person wants to be recognized by others, he must first affirm himself. Therefore, they always evaluate their abilities and achievements realistically. At the banquet, the host will introduce the characteristics of ordering food to the guests in detail, hoping that the guests will like it; When they are entrusted with an important task by their superiors, they will thank them and say that they will do well.
4. Comments and suggestions
Both China people and westerners like to give some friendly suggestions and advice to their relatives and friends to show their care and love. However, there are great differences between China people and westerners in the way of giving advice and opinions.
China people are often very direct when giving advice and advice to their friends. They often use words with imperative tone such as "should", "shouldn't", "want" and "don't". For example, "it's cold, put on more clothes and don't catch a cold!" " ""The road is slippery, so be careful when you walk! " "You should pay more attention to your health!" "You should shave!" "You should go to work! "and so on.
When westerners give advice and suggestions to relatives and friends, the wording is euphemistic, such as "It's very cold today, I'd like to add a sweater if I were you" and "You'd better shave your beard." Generally speaking, the closer the relationship between the two sides, the more direct the tone of speech. But even the closest people don't use the tone of command like us. Otherwise, it will be considered as disrespectful to your independent personality.
5. Personal privacy
Westerners attach great importance to personal privacy. In daily conversation, people generally don't involve each other's "personal problems". These personal problems include: age, marital status, income, work, place of residence, experience, religious belief, election, etc. At the same time, people also pay special attention to personal private living space. Don't tamper with or rummage through the closets, desks, drawers, letters, documents and other manuscripts in other people's rooms (if you want to borrow other people's articles, you must get the consent of the other party). If others are reading or writing, you can't look at what they are reading or writing from behind, even if they are just reading newspapers or magazines.
I also care about spatial distance. Even in public, everyone consciously leaves some private space for each other. For example, when waiting in line, they are always used to keeping a distance of more than 1 meter from others.
Our concept of personal privacy is relatively weak. Especially between relatives and friends, everyone likes to share each other's private lives regardless of you and me. In addition, the elderly can often ask the younger generation about their private lives at will to show their concern.
6. Timetable
Most westerners have a strong sense of time and a tight schedule. If you want to meet or entertain westerners, you must make an appointment in advance, usually more than a week. If you suddenly visit or invite someone without an appointment, they will generally refuse you. Moreover, there is a strict distinction between working hours and personal time. If it is a work exchange, you should choose to do it during the other party's working hours; If it is a private interaction, you should choose to do it after work.
In addition, in terms of time, the date 13 and Friday are taboo. Especially when it is both 13 and Friday, we often don't arrange any outing.
And many of us have no strong sense of time. Sudden visits without appointments and temporary invitations are quite common, even if they are made in advance, they are often within a week.
In addition, professionals often do not distinguish between public and private affairs, and it is common to talk about business after work or private affairs during office hours.
7. Interaction
Westerners (except Latin Americans) don't pay much attention to reciprocity, although they often give gifts to relatives and friends on holidays, birthdays and visits. They generally don't value the value of gifts (so they like to give some small gifts), and think that giving gifts to friends is not to meet some needs of friends, but to express their feelings. Most people in China pay more attention to the value of gifts, and the value of gifts represents the affection of the giver to some extent.
In addition, there are obvious differences between the East and the West in the way of giving gifts. When westerners receive gifts, they usually open the gift package in front of the giver to express their appreciation. If you don't open the gift package in person, the giver will think that the other person doesn't like the gift he gave.
Most of us don't open the gift package in front of the giver unless the giver asks the other person to open it. The purpose of doing this is to show that you value mutual friendship, not material interests. If you open the gift package in front of the giver, you will be suspected of valuing profit over righteousness.