EQ includes five main aspects: 1. Knowing yourself, you can detect the appearance of a certain emotion, observe and examine your inner experience, and monitor the changes of emotions at all times. It is the core of emotional IQ; 2. Self-management, regulation and control of their emotions, so that they can be expressed in a timely and appropriate manner; 3. Self-motivation, the ability to mobilize and command emotions according to a certain goal of the activity; 4. Recognize the emotions of others, and be able to sensitively feel the needs and desires of others through subtle social signals; 5. Skills in dealing with interpersonal relationships and regulating emotional reactions with others.
Emotional quotient development
Emotional intelligence Emotional intelligence is formed in infancy, childhood and adolescence, and it is mainly cultivated in interpersonal communication the day after tomorrow. Adolescence is a person's golden age, because it is a transitional period for a person to reach adulthood. In this period, its learning and development tasks are very important. However, middle school students are facing great changes in physiology and psychology, as well as great academic pressure, which will cause psychological imbalance and complex psychological contradictions of modern middle school students, and even produce various adverse consequences. A survey report in 22 cities shows that, in fact, 0/5%-20% middle school students in China have various psychological problems, such as parent-child conflict, tense partnership, weariness and learning difficulties, and exam anxiety. Most of these problems are related to students' self-control ability, and most of them stem from all kinds of irrational emotions that often gush out from their hearts. The quickest and most effective way to improve EQ is psychological training. Carrying forward personality and developing ability is the goal of quality education, but all this stems from the improvement of psychological quality. To this end, we have set up a training course for teenagers' psychological quality. Through psychological education and psychological training, we should pay attention to developing students' non-intellectual factors, improve students' self-psychological awareness and cognitive level, learn to control their emotions, improve their inappropriate emotional behaviors, improve their emotional intelligence level, and let children learn to be the masters of their emotions, so that students can establish good values and rational outlook on life, enhance their psychological adaptability, improve their learning ability, and respond to various pressures and challenges with a positive attitude.
Ok, let's talk about how to improve emotional intelligence:
1, it is good for everyone to learn to draw a proper psychological boundary. You may think it's a good thing to be unclear with others, so that everyone can get along as they please, without having to bargain fiercely with each other. This sounds reasonable, but its disadvantage is that others often hurt your feelings without your knowledge. In fact, if you look around carefully, you can easily find that people with poor marginal ability are prone to morbid emotional intelligence training 1.
Phobia, they will not confront the aggressor head-on, but prefer to talk to a third party. If we are the one who violates other people's psychological boundaries, we will feel like cold-blooded idiots when we find out the truth. At the same time, we also feel hurt, because we blame ourselves for our mistakes and are indignant because a third party intervened to judge us. Clear boundaries are good for everyone. You must understand what others can and cannot do to you. When someone violates your psychological boundaries, tell him so that he can be corrected. If you always can't draw a clear psychological boundary, then you need to improve your cognitive level. 2. Find a method that suits you, calm yourself down when you feel that you are losing your mind, keep your blood in your brain and make rational actions. Americans once joked that when things happen, rational children can train emotional intelligence by letting blood into their brains.
Think intelligently; Savage children let blood enter their limbs, their brains are empty, and they are crazy. Yes, when blood fills your brain, you are awake and behave normally. On the contrary, when blood flows to your limbs and tongue, you will do stupid things, be impulsive and irritable and say nothing. In fact, scientific experiments have proved that when we become overly nervous under pressure, blood does leave the cerebral cortex, so we will behave abnormally. At this time, the animal nature in the brain plays a leading role, making us behave like the most primitive animals. You know, in a civilized society, acting like a primitive animal will bring big trouble. There are many strategies to control emotional outbursts, one of which is to pay attention to your heart rate, which is an accurate ruler to measure emotions. When your heart rate exceeds 100 beats per minute, it is very important to rectify your mood. At this rate, the body secretes EQ training 3.
Adrenaline is much more than usual. We will lose our minds and become aggressive crickets. When blood begins to rush to the limbs again, you can choose the following methods to calm your mood: 1), and take a deep breath until you calm down. Take a deep breath slowly and let the air fill the whole lung. Put one hand on your abdomen to make sure you breathe correctly. 2), soliloquize. For example, say to yourself, "I'm calming down." Or: "Everything will pass." 3) Some people use hydrotherapy. Taking a hot bath may make your anger and anxiety disappear with the foam in the bathtub. 4) You can also try the method of American psychologist Donna Aidan: think about unpleasant things, and at the same time put your fingertips on your forehead above your eyebrows, press your thumb on your temple and take a deep breath. According to Aidan, it only takes a few minutes for blood to return to the cerebral cortex, so you can think more calmly. 3. When you want to complain, stop and ask yourself, "Should I continue to endure this seemingly unchangeable situation or change it?" We call endless complaints nagging. Complaining consumes efforts, has no result, is useless for solving problems, and rarely makes us feel better. Almost everyone finds that if we confide our dissatisfaction to a sympathetic third party, we will feel better and he will be angry with them. Someone says to you, "poor baby." This is a great comfort to you. Your stress seems to have eased, and you can face the original situation again, although things have not changed. But if you don't complain, you will feel great psychological pressure. Sometimes stress is not a bad thing, yes, it may make you feel uncomfortable, but it is also a force to make changes. Once the pressure is relieved, it is easy for people to maintain the status quo. However, if stress is not lost in complaining, it will accumulate and reach a limit, forcing you to take action to change the status quo. So, when you are ready to complain to a sympathetic friend, ask yourself: should I reduce the pressure and maintain the status quo, or should the pressure continue to urge me to change all this? If it is the former, then complain to drive away the pressure. Everyone complains sometimes, which will make us feel good for a while. But if the situation really needs to change, then make up your mind and act! 4. Sweep away everything that wastes energy. What is the driving force that is not conducive to improving our EQ? The answer is everything that wastes energy. Many people have thick calluses on their nervous system, just like their father's hands. We are used to not knowing the energy consumption. Energy is subtle, but you can also experience obvious changes. For example, when you hear good news, adrenaline will surge, and when you hear bad news, you will feel exhausted. We usually don't notice the subtle consumption of energy, such as getting along with a negative person, looking for a piece of paper everywhere on the table and so on. What are the things in your life that slowly consume energy? There is a rug in the corner of my house. Every time I see it, I think someone might trip over it. This problem is not big, but it distracts my energy. This is our definition of distraction-we feel distracted after every contact. Sometimes friends do the same-they absorb and give energy to each other-but some are energetic vampires who only absorb your energy. At this time, there are two choices: first, face up to this problem, establish psychological boundaries, and continue to communicate with them cautiously; The other is to reduce contact with such people. Indeed, we need to get rid of those things that waste energy slowly and concentrate on improving our emotional intelligence. Want to accelerate-you can choose to reduce resistance or increase propulsion. Try the method we provided: 1. Always make a list of things that consume your energy. 2. The list of systematic analysis is divided into two parts: A. People who can make a difference. B, it cannot be changed. 3. Solve the problems in List A one by one. For example, for me, hang the car keys on a fixed hook so that I don't have to look everywhere. 4. Look at the questions in Table B again. Are you sure? Is it possible to move some of them to list a to solve them? 5. Give up the questions in List B ... 6. Find a vivid role model in life. We have all experienced the era of learning from the example, and the example is lofty and far away for us. So our enthusiasm for learning from the role model gradually faded from the role model, because we know that we may never be a great hero in our life. Yes, you can't be a hero, but you can be a happy ordinary person, such as your friend Daning, who is energetic, young, generous, intelligent and interesting. She runs a gynecological clinic, works as a company consultant, writes a regular column for a city, and has a handsome husband and lovely daughter. Do you have such excellent people around you? Take him as your example! You can think: I can do what she can do, but our styles are so different that I can't do anything in her way. But I will imitate some things she does and do it in my way. From her, you can always see the potential you never realized. Find an example for you to learn from among the people around you! They are smarter, better educated, more advanced and more persistent than you. You will naturally improve your emotional intelligence in the process of catching up with them. 6. Being a parent. Being a parent will teach you a lot. When the child screams, "Why don't you buy it for me? I hate you! " Sometimes, you can't despair and be furious. You need to understand him and accept the reality of extreme resentment. You know, this is the best gift a child can give you. Of course, this hatred should not last. Raising children is a win-win result. In the process of raising children, children learn how to get along with immature young parents. As parents, we smooth our edges and corners in the process of suppressing our own needs to meet the needs of our children. Raising children will automatically improve our emotional intelligence and make us more qualified parents. If you don't want children, you might as well try to help your friends look after them. Getting along with children can really improve our emotional intelligence. 7. Learn from difficult people. There are many people around us who are full of complaints, bullying and putting on airs. How much we want these people to disappear from our lives, because they will make people angry, desperate and even crazy. Why not circle these people, buy a plane ticket and send them to an island that will never disturb others again? However, it is best not to do so. These difficult people are our helpers to improve emotional intelligence. You can learn silence from talkative people, patience from grumpy people and kindness from wicked people. You don't have to be grateful to these teachers. Moreover, your definition of "difficult person" may turn out to be someone different from you, and it is difficult for you to get along with the so-called difficult person. The most effective way to deal with difficult people is to be flexible. In other words, find their way and adopt the same way as flexibly as possible in the process of interacting with them. If this person likes to chat before getting down to business, your reaction should be to relax and talk about things at home. On the other hand, if this person is straightforward, you should cut short the gossip and get to the point. In this way, you will be more efficient when dealing with difficult people, and you will find that these people are not so difficult to get along with. The second point in dealing with difficult people is to treat them as gifts. Judy married a bully. Married life is full of ups and downs for her, because she has no clear boundaries. After breaking up for many years, she learned to thank him because he taught her the importance of establishing and maintaining boundaries. She doesn't care at all if she meets such a man again. Judy said, "After living with him, you don't care about these guys at all." If she had married an easy-going person, there may be no clear boundaries until now, and it is difficult to deal with those difficult guys. However, if we can choose, maybe we will never choose difficult people. 8. Try a completely different way from time to time, and you will broaden your horizons and improve your emotional intelligence. Are you an outgoing person or an introverted person who only likes one person or is with several close friends? Do you like to plan what to do every day in advance, or do you have no plan? Everyone has their own preferences, and if they can choose, everyone will choose their preferred way. However, it will be more helpful for us to grow up suddenly and try the opposite action. If you are always keen to be the center of the party, make a change this time and try to make those who are usually inconspicuous show off. If you are always passively waiting for others to strike up a conversation with you, you might as well take the initiative to say hello to each other.
In short, improving emotional intelligence will make you deal with problems more successfully and efficiently. Although there are many changes to be made, don't be too stressed! Don't forget your health and happiness while perfecting yourself, and don't lose yourself because you pay too much attention to emotional intelligence.
These are the materials I checked, and I wrote some ideas by the way. thank you