A 6-year-old boy went to his grandfather's house for the Spring Festival on Fan Jie Festival and took 2 yuan money from his grandfather's pocket to buy firecrackers. This film is an unconscious personal behavior, and the 6-year-old child still can't understand what "stealing" means.
According to the rapid development of children's psychology, many logical thinking abilities of children under 7 years old have not been established. Parents often misunderstand their children's behavior from their own cognitive logic.
However, the boy's parents felt very humiliated and beat him severely in front of his family, swelling the child's hand. From now on, parents will be wary of him everywhere. As long as he stays alone in the house, he will give a stern warning: "Don't make the same mistake again, or I'll cut off your hand if I steal again."
In order to prevent him from stealing again, his parents sent the boy to a boarding primary school at the age of 1 1. What they never expected was that the child stole more and more frequently. Every time I come home from college for the weekend, my parents find that there is less money at home. He refused to admit it when I asked him. Parents can only hide their money at home, and their relationship with their sons is like cats and mice. The last time, the boy pretended that the college gave him 8000 yuan for training, and it was spent in a week. Parents have a bad headache, and they don't care about it anymore, so they take their children to consult a psychologist.
Yang Da, a psychological counselor of Zhiyou, mentioned that this child has a very serious psychological obstacle, and the fundamental reason is that his parents were negligent when they first took grandpa's money. They are especially hard on parents who don't understand tolerance. Six-year-old children make mistakes unintentionally, and they can be guided correctly, even without deliberate cultural education. This unconscious behavior will naturally disappear gradually. But they strengthened "stealing" by scolding, which made their daughter lose her self-esteem in front of others. From the age of 6 to 1 1, boys live in the questioning of their parents every day. Worst of all, the neighbors know that any family that loses something will suspect his head. Parents' intolerant and distrustful attitude makes the boy gradually break the jar and fall, resulting in serious rebellious psychology, opening the thief's behavior and eventually developing bad habits.
Parents who don't understand tolerance don't understand that caring about home is an area that provides food, shelter and inner stability for their children. Home should be a sheltered harbor in the world. For young children, home is the only good place to settle down. As we all know, once they leave home, they can't survive. However, intolerant parents ignore this point, and some people even "kill" their own flesh and blood.
A junior high school girl was raped, and her parents were very angry and told her to "get out". The girl's only hope was dashed and she jumped into the river in the cold wind and committed suicide. The next morning, her parents saw the will in the gap: "My daughter was raped and ashamed to see anyone. You are my dearest parents. I thought you could tolerate me, pity me, love me, and comfort my broken heart with your loving hearts. Unexpectedly, everyone said that I had humiliated you ... I had no choice but to die ... "
Cultural education and teaching itself is dealing with people, and parents are also dealing with people. Imagine being so unfriendly when dealing with people. Some parents don't treat their children as children. They don't treat their children as complete people at all. Everyone will never get along with adults like that, because adults can be tolerant. Everyone trusts that the other person is as dignified as himself and will think twice before doing anything. If you say something wrong, you have to take responsibility. It is easier to make enemies by insulting others. But children are different. Children are born by themselves, and everything depends on themselves. Some parents regard their children as legal property and build them according to their own ideas. If they can't meet their expectations, they will be flogged and taught at will. In the final analysis, intolerant parents still don't know much about human nature and what the word "value" means.
Children who don't get respect from their parents can hardly stand on their feet, and intolerant parents make them live in fear and self-distrust. Intolerant parents are immature, and they don't realize the necessity of making mistakes with their children. On the road of children's growth, every fall is a study and training, and every climb is an exercise. It is not terrible for children to have defects. What is even more terrible is that they can't treat defects correctly and lose opportunities for growth.