John Balbi was born into a noble family, his father was a doctor in the royal family, and Bobby was trained in British orthodox psychology and psychoanalysis. After graduating from Cambridge University, he treated boys with behavioral problems in the East End of London (later notorious for crime during the 1940 lightning station). He observed that evacuation and collective rearing during the war separated young children from their families, and short-term separation would aggravate children's illness during hospitalization. He thinks that children's behavior problems are a response to the harsh real life environment, ignoring the separation of abuse. He devoted the rest of his life to the development of attachment theory.

Safe base

We are complete social animals, and our life course includes finding our place in human society. In the process of growing up, we gradually learn to take care of ourselves, both physically and emotionally, but the first lesson of self-care comes from how we are taken care of and how to master the skills of self-control, which depends to a great extent on the harmony of our early interaction with caregivers. If children's parents are the source of comfort and strength, they will run through great advantages in life, enough to resist the worst fate they may face.

When mothers sit quietly on park benches, knit sweaters or read newspapers, children will explore everywhere and occasionally look back to see if their mothers are still watching them. However, when a neighbor passes by and attracts them by chatting, the children will run away and come back to stay closer, trying to attract their mother's attention. Babies and children will feel nervous if they find their mother and don't notice them. When their mother disappeared. Attachment is a safe island for children to explore the outside world. A stable safety island can promote children's self-confidence and gradually establish sympathy and help for the suffering of others. From the intimate giving and receiving of this attachment, children learn to understand the feelings and thoughts of other similar or different people, that is, learn to keep pace with the environment and people around them, develop self-awareness, sympathize with and control impulses and self-motivation, and make them better members of society.

Dance of emotional coordination

Emotional coordination is based on the minimal physical interaction between the baby and the caregiver, which makes the baby feel satisfied and understanding. As Colving Treverton, a researcher in Edinburgh, said, "The brain regulates the rhythm of body movements and makes them sing with other people's brains. Babies begin to listen and understand their mothers even before they are born."

A scene of a mother playing with her two eldest sons. The son propped himself up on the baby stool. Facing his mother, they muttered to themselves and looked happy. It was not until the mother approached and caressed the baby with her nose that the baby was startled and suddenly pulled her hair. Mother was unprepared and shocked with pain. She shouted to take the baby's hand away. The mother's face twisted angrily and the baby let go at once. They are both. They used to be the source of happiness for each other, but now the other has become the source of pain. Obviously, they were so scared that they put their heads in their hands and covered their faces, trying not to let the angry mother see that her mother had discovered the baby's uneasiness. So, he focused on the baby again and made a comforting voice to solve this matter. The baby continued to cover his face and eyes with his hands, but his desire to establish contact soon reappeared. When he secretly used his eyes to see if there was any danger, his mother approached him with concern and he began to scratch her stomach. The baby put down his hand and giggled. The whole happiness-rupture-repair-new happiness process takes less than 12 seconds.

We comfort newborns, but parents will soon begin to educate their children to endure higher-level impulses. This task is usually done by parents. How to control impulse is a basic skill in life. Therefore, before children do this, parents must feed their children to control their impulses. When the hunger in their stomachs makes the baby cry, breasts and bottles will be sent to the children, and they are afraid. Someone should shake the pillow until he calms down. If he wets the bed, he should.

The development of security attachment and ability has gradually formed the core of sense of control and become the key to a healthy coping style throughout life. What can children with security attachment learn? Can make them feel good, and they find out what makes them feel good? Therefore, they gain initiative, and their actions can change their feelings and the reactions of others. Children who are attached to safety can distinguish between situations that they can cope with and situations that need help. They know that they can actively cope with difficulties. On the contrary, abused or neglected children learn not to let their fears and cries be taken care of by caregivers. No matter what they say or do, it will not bring attention or help. Therefore, they will face the future.