0 1 Positive emotions are the cornerstone of happiness.
Having a sense of happiness makes us healthier physically and mentally and promotes personal development. The benefits of having a sense of happiness are mainly reflected in:
1. Being happy makes us smarter.
People who are happy can make important decisions better. Positive emotions and happy state can make people expand their thinking, speed up their thinking, improve their memory, and make it easier to exert their creativity and imagination.
Think of a happy person, full of energy, more motivated, and good luck takes care of him. A negative and sad person has low energy, poor living condition and relatively closed mind. I think of Hawkins' energy hierarchy, and we should pay more attention to our emotions and energy.
2. Happiness makes us healthier.
Happy people have good hygiene habits and a strong immune system, which can keep a happy mood, promote good health and prolong life. Consciously realize yourself in life and try to make yourself happy and calm.
3. Having a sense of happiness can make us better cope with misfortune.
People with happiness can endure pain and pay more attention to health and safety information when threatened. Positive emotions make them have better expectations for the future.
4. People who are happy have more friends.
Happy people have a rich and fulfilling social life. I like to pay attention to others, like to share with others, like to participate in group activities, and have more compassion.
Happy people have one thing in common: they will do more altruistic behaviors. When we feel happy, we prefer others and are willing to share our good luck with strangers. I also think sharing and giving make us feel happier.
Many people have hundreds of millions of wealth and empty hearts. A moment of joy can't bring real happiness, and emptiness is frustrating. The author says that happiness comes from discovering one's own strengths and virtues and giving full play to them in life. We usually think that doing good deeds will bring happiness, and completing a challenge with our own ability will bring happiness.
Some people are often entangled in negative emotions and feel unhappy. Knowing the factors that affect our happiness can help us.
1, the gene of happiness. Personality is partly inherited by genes, and the ability to feel happiness is influenced by genes.
2. Living environment. National and family environment, climate factors will affect people's emotions and psychology. People in the tropics are more enthusiastic and optimistic.
3. Controllable factors. 75% is composed of controllable factors. The key to improving happiness is to shift the focus of attention to the controllable part.
Negative emotions are the first line of defense, so let's get ready for the battle. History has proved that heredity is biased towards negative emotions. Only in this way can they inherit their own genes and become our ancestors. Positive emotions are a sensory system, which is a win-win situation. The way of thinking is more open and it is easier to accept new ideas and experiences.
How to get lasting happiness
The author gives the formula of happiness: the duration of happiness = the range of happiness+living environment+controllable factors. The higher the persistence, the happier it means.
Temporary happiness can be obtained through chocolate, comedy, sweet talk, flowers and so on. But after this happiness has passed, it will usher in emptiness. Only when a person has the ability of lasting happiness can he feel real happiness.
We are born with a series of unchangeable happiness. Just like a thermostat, happy things will bring our happiness back to the normal setting.
In addition, it is the principle of "happiness treadmill" that prevents us from improving our happiness level. After good things happen one after another, you will soon get used to it, take it for granted and stop being grateful. You will never be happy if you keep chasing more and better. The study found that lucky things and high achievements can't bring people long-term happiness. The rich are only a little happier than the poor.
Congenital optimism and pessimism and adaptation to good things will limit the upper limit of our happiness.
Studies have found that money may not buy happiness. There is a strong correlation between marriage and happiness. A rich social life may make you happier. Positive emotions and negative emotions are not antagonistic, and there is only a little negative correlation between them. Age will change the intensity of our emotions. A little ill health won't wake up unhappiness, but serious diseases will really make us unhappy. Education, climate, race and gender have little influence on happiness. Believers with religious beliefs will feel happier.
Seligman's law of happiness.
In order to help people get happiness better, this book provides us with three happiness rules:
1: Let bygones be bygones. Learn gratitude and forgiveness exercises. Gratitude can increase the intensity of good memories, and forgiveness can remove the fuse of painful memories so that they will not be detonated, so that you will be happier.
The future is not all what you think.
Optimists believe that good things will affect everything Hui Ze does, while pessimists believe that good things are only caused by certain conditions.
3. Seize the present happiness.
Immediate happiness includes pleasure and satisfaction. Satisfaction lasts longer than pleasure. Satisfaction comes from our advantages and virtues. Pleasure is sensory and emotional satisfaction, and satisfaction is psychological growth, which can build future psychological capital.
Ways to enhance pleasure and happiness are:
1.
If you want to improve the fun in life, the key is to distribute it evenly in life.
2. Taste.
Share experiences, build memories and share happy experiences with others. Congratulations to yourself. Improve your insight. Focus.
3. Mindfulness. Meditate. It helps to relax.
As long as you look for and do it with your heart, a happy life is around us.
24 advantages of happiness.
Six basic virtues: wisdom, courage, kindness, justice, temperance and spiritual Excellence. The author calls the way to realize these virtues advantages and divides them into 24 excellent quality advantages. Advantages can be measured and cultivated, and they can be established without a good foundation. We can achieve these virtues through the following 24 advantages.
1) Curiosity and interest in the world. 2) Love learning. 3) Judgment, critical thinking and open mind. 4) Creativity and practical wisdom. 5) Social wisdom, personal wisdom and emotional intelligence. 6) insight.
7) Courage and courage. 8) Perseverance and diligence. 9) Integrity, sincerity and honesty. 10) Kind and generous. Love and be loved. 12) Civic spirit, sense of responsibility, team spirit and loyalty.
13) Fair and just. 14) leader. 15) automatic control. 16) Be careful. 17) Modesty. 18) Aesthetic and excellent.
19) Thanksgiving Day. 20) Hope, optimism and looking to the future. 2 1) Spirituality, sense of purpose, belief and religion. 22) Forgiveness and compassion. Humor. 24) enthusiasm, enthusiasm, enthusiasm.
Only by striving to show our outstanding advantages on different occasions every day can we get more satisfaction and real happiness.
Improve the happiness of life.
Marriage can help people resist misfortune, and marriage is the only external factor that can affect happiness. The study found that people have three ways of falling in love:
1. safety type. Easy to get close to others, not afraid of being abandoned, and not afraid of others getting too close to themselves.
2. Avoidance type. It's hard to trust others completely or make yourself dependent on others.
3. anxiety type. Others don't want to be intimate with him.
The relationship between a person's childhood and his mother affects his intimate relationship all his life, and a safe relationship is a positive factor in his love life.
Marriage includes three aspects: caring for others, sex and dealing with problems. In order to have a beautiful marriage, the author provided us with an exercise.
Pick out your spouse's three main strengths, write down his recent commendable things, and then let your spouse read the sentences you wrote, that is, what are the strengths and what happened. Reminds me of a little friend in the book club, writing about her husband's advantages every day, and slowly discovering that her husband has really changed. it wont hurt you to try it
The happiest couples only pay attention to each other's advantages and ignore each other's shortcomings. Optimistic couples are happier.
Usually when couples discuss problems and have conflicts, they can use the method of "speaker-listener ceremony" to solve them. Listen carefully to each other, express your thoughts and feelings, and don't judge.
Our strengths and uniqueness are irreplaceable in the eyes of our lover, so that our marriage will be more stable. Some people love others and get their love at the same time. However, many people are not so lucky, and they have to work hard to get their love. I hope we can give full play to our advantages and lead us to love.
Cultivate children's happiness.
A person's positive emotions can be cultivated, and the author provides us with three parenting principles:
1, positive emotions expand and construct children's intellectual, social and physical resources, so that children can stand in society when they grow up, which is an important factor for their growth.
Positive emotions are related to exploration, which gives children a sense of control, and the sense of control itself will bring positive emotions, form positive feedback and build accumulation.
2, encourage children's positive emotions, let him start the upward spiral as soon as possible, in order to get more positive emotions.
When people are happy, they are more creative, broaden their horizons and have the spirit of exploration, thus increasing resources.
3. Treat children's positive emotions as seriously as negative emotions, and treat children's advantages as seriously as shortcomings.
To construct children's positive emotions and make them feel happy, the author shares eight methods:
First, sleep with the baby. The purpose is to give people a sense of security.
Second, synchronous games. Play with blocks, etc.
Third, use less negative words like "no". When the child's behavior only causes inconvenience to parents, we can choose to replace it actively.
Fourth, praise and punishment. Positive evaluation will make children have positive emotions and make them dare to explore and control, but it is not unconditional positive evaluation.
Punishment should let children know what kind of behavior led to the present punishment. No personal attacks.
Fifth, resolve the jealousy between brothers and sisters.
Sixth, do bedtime activities. Do some family-specific rituals. If a child's thoughts before going to sleep are full of emotions and visual scenes, they will become the material of his dreams. It can remind him of that happy scene in his mind. I will say good night to my child, say "Mom loves you" and let him sleep peacefully.
Seventh, make a deal with the children. Use it only after all methods have failed. Parents should keep their promises.
Eighth, make New Year's resolutions.
Whether adults or children, it is the key to find happiness to find out outstanding personality advantages in life and give full play to them.
The author said: The true meaning of ultimate happiness is to realize self-worth in the process of using excellent character strengths.
There is no uniform standard for happiness, but there are different degrees of prosperity with spiritual input. Life is full, we will have vitality and a happy mood!
Through learning, let us understand the benefits of happiness in life, face life with a positive and happy attitude, realize self-worth, live in the present, live completely, discover and record the beauty in life, work hard and give full play to our advantages, and have more happiness. Be sure to live a happy life!
Figure: Network