When I saw my college classmates enter their dream jobs through relationships,

The male god in secret love has fallen in love with his roommate.

Do you have a tingling and uncomfortable feeling in your heart, perhaps mixed with some anger and shame, but you are not as good as the deskmate who plays the king every day? Such a complicated and multifaceted emotion is jealousy.

However, the objects we envy are usually those who have similar educational background or growth environment with us. For stars or millionaires, we seldom feel jealous, and even envy them. Why?

Psychologists believe that jealousy must meet the following four conditions: (1) similarity.

The more similar the envied person is to himself, the stronger the sense of jealousy people experience.

This similarity refers to the distance between social status, class level and power level, and it can also refer to the overlap of relationships (circles) (such as former classmates and neighbors), or the distance between majors and professional fields (such as financial transaction analysts and auditors).

2) Low perceptual control When you can't control the environment or think that you can't do as well as others, you will also feel jealous.

For example, I am jealous that my colleague won the sweeping robot in the annual lottery.

3) Self-correlation

People are usually jealous only when their important fields or their own interests are threatened.

For example, if you have never practiced skateboarding, you may become friends with skateboarders and applaud their superb skills, thus generating envy or admiration. However, if you learn skateboarding skills from an early age and attach great importance to it, you are more likely to be jealous of your friends at this time.

4) unfair

Jealousy and even anger and resentment will arise when the students around you who are looking for ghostwriters get higher scores than the papers you have worked so hard to write within one month.

When a jealous person thinks that the sources of other people's benefits are unfair, he may have the idea that "those benefits enjoyed by the other party might have belonged to me." It is found that jealousy is related to subjective unfair judgment.