The most painful thing in the world is not to write a paper, but to write even if you know it is rubbish. What is more painful than this is that you can't even write a rubbish paper. . . The following are my funny quotations, welcome to read!

Ways to protect the environment

The teacher asked Xiaoming:? Is there any way to protect the environment and stop cutting down trees indiscriminately? Send a piece of paper less every day, and there will be no killing without buying and selling. ?

The canteen master is lovelorn.

The chef in the canteen is probably lovelorn, because I found that the new menu has different scenery: ecstasy lotus root slices, heartbroken people patting cucumbers, chubby face-lifting, reminiscing about lentils, dim bean curd silk and pure moo Shu pork.

I want to go out cleanly.

I said:? Honey, let's get a divorce. I'll give you all my house savings, and then I'll leave clean. ? She put the kitchen knife on the chopping board and said, come on, clean yourself up first, and then you can go. ?

My boyfriend will be here in five minutes.

Today, I had a date with my boyfriend. He texted me: I'll be there in five minutes. If not, please read this message again?

The opportunity was before me, and I didn't cherish it.

I have a chance to add clothes before me. I don't cherish it until I catch a cold. If God gives me another chance to start over, I will not hesitate to add all my clothes.

Hometown's earthy taste

It is said that sandstorms have blown to Taiwan Province province. Many old people took to the streets, spread out their hands, looked up at the sky at 45 degrees, burst into tears, took a deep breath and said excitedly, 60 years, 60 years, and finally smelled the soil in their hometown.

Mona Lisa's sister

A woman asked a man, do I look good? The man said, you are like Mona Lisa's sister now. The woman said: Really, who is her sister? The man said, Janet Martha

Haha, you are dead.

Hee hee and haha are good friends, very good friends. One day, haha died. Hee hee is very sad. He walked over to Haha's grave and said? Haha, you are dead. ?

There are too many acne.

Once upon a time, there was a cucumber. She felt that there were too many pimples on her face, so she sliced it herself and applied it to her face.

He is a diligent person.

The priest wrote a letter of condolence to the thief: he is a diligent man, and he is still working while others are sleeping. When others wake up, they have something that others don't have.

Duck manufacturer

I met a new friend who looks very ordinary, but I suddenly wanted to escape when I heard someone say he was a duck. Later, I learned that people were working in Quanjude.

And let people sleep?

The board of directors took my little secret on a business trip for half a month. On the night I came back, I made out very hard and loudly in order not to let my wife doubt anything. Suddenly, the neighbor downstairs knocked at the door and shouted angrily, it's been half a month, every day. Do you still want people to sleep? ! ?

You must go out and take a bath.

The Weaver Girl came down to take a bath and got to know the Cowherd, and interpreted a love story that made the gods cry. This tells us that there is no chance to take a bath at home, so we must take a bath outside. .....

Help me up and try.

What is a brother? Brother is 50 years later, when you are old and lying in bed, I ask you if you want to drink water. You shake your head. Eat fruit? You still shake your head. I asked again: Find a girl for you? You open your eyes with tears in your eyes. Brother, help me up and try. . .

Named after a woman

? Why hurricanes are usually named after women? Because when the hurricane came, you just ran lightly, but when the hurricane left, it took away your house and car. ?

Treat kidney deficiency without sugar.

Someone spilled oil all over you and told you, don't worry, it's all automatic! What would you do? Hit him with kidney deficiency and tell him? Don't worry, there are Liuwei Dihuang pills, which treat kidney deficiency and contain no sugar. ?

Beauty invited me to dinner.

This morning, a beautiful colleague asked me formally: Are you free to invite someone to dinner tonight? I said shyly and reserved. Yes ? She said:? Then you can cover for me. Thank you. ?

Library strike up conversation strategy

? Excuse me, senior, how to do this problem? Junior, do you have a boyfriend? I see. I can't do this problem either. ?

IT companies are sad to urge men.

I work in an IT company. One weekend, everyone was busy all morning. At eleven o'clock, a colleague suddenly got up, dropped a sentence and rushed out: You are very busy. I will get married and come back. ?

What is this?

News about a Japanese friend whose bike was stolen and recovered in Wuhan. A netizen replied: What is this? That year, a photographer lost his computer, and the whole society helped him find photos!

Three hobbies

The history teacher asked Yu Qian what his three biggest hobbies were. Answer: Smoking, drinking and perming! Teacher: Get out! I'm talking about the Ming Dynasty!

The difference between work and entrepreneurship

The difference between working and starting a business: people who work can jump ship if they don't get along, and bosses can only jump off buildings if they don't get along.

My smile is deep.

A person in the hospital infusion, lost began to laugh wildly. Others asked him what he was laughing at. He said:? I smiled?

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