Family education is the education that parents (first of all) give to their children in family life. That is, parents consciously exert certain educational influence on their children through their own words and deeds and family life practice. According to the modern concept, family education includes: the interaction and education of family members (including parents and children) in life. Let's look at the relationship between family education and children's character formation.
Abstract: With the rise of the popular theory that "personality determines fate" in recent years, people attach great importance to personality. People's personality is mainly developed in childhood, and family education has the greatest influence on children's personality. Through the analysis of the importance of family education and children's character formation, the author knows that family education has an important influence on children's character formation, and then draws the significance and value of the research. Secondly, through the discussion of the present situation and existing problems of family education, finally, the main countermeasures and suggestions of family education in the formation of children's character are put forward.
Paper Keywords: family education; Children's character
Family education has been regarded as an important issue since ancient times. In ancient China, there were: improper adoptive father, adopted son not taught to be a donkey, and adopted daughter not taught to be a pig, emphasizing the importance of family education for children's growth.
In recent years, many achievements have been made in family education at home and abroad, but the influence of family education on children's personality has not been systematically studied, and most of them have not linked the two issues.
By studying the role of family education in the formation of children's character, this paper makes parents realize the serious consequences caused by improper family education to their children. On this basis, the countermeasures are put forward, which is helpful for the majority of families (parents) to understand the importance of family education. It also helps them realize the necessity and urgency of scientific and reasonable family education, so as to better solve this problem.
In addition, through the research on this issue, teachers can realize that students' different personalities are most influenced by family education. Analyze family education according to students' personality performance, establish contact with parents, and cooperate in two aspects to help children develop good personality.
First, the relationship between family education and the formation of children's character
(A) the significance of family education and the formation of children's character
? 1, the problem of family education In a broad sense, family education is a phenomenon and activity of every member of the family from beginning to end. Family education in a narrow sense refers to the educational influence of parents on their children, especially on their growing children.
Family education has been a hot topic in China since ancient times. Family Instructions of Yan Family, Family Instructions of Zhu Zi and Family Letters of Fu Lei are all classic books of family education, which have been imitated by people all the time. The Book of Changes says, "The home is at peace". In the modern national environment and small family environment, the family has paid unprecedented attention to the cultivation of children. Investment in children has become the primary expenditure of most families. 2. The formation of a child's character is realized through the child's position in the family, the relationship between family members and the parenting style adopted by parents. Parents' attitude has a considerable influence on their children's character. Family has an important and far-reaching influence on the formation and development of a person's character. 6-8 years old is the formative period of children's character, especially around 1 1- 12 years old, which is the key period for the formation of human will character. But the formation of any character is not instantaneous, but a long-term process.
3. The Importance of Personality There is a saying recently that "a person's personality determines his fate". Personality directly affects people's behavior and living habits, so when we decide what to do and how to do it, we must first understand our own personality and career orientation. All successful people must have patient, rational and calm personality traits, and personality is the second passport for employees to lead. Family is the first school for children, which lays the foundation for the formation of children's character. A child's personality formed by the influence in the family will not only be shown in the family, but also brought to school, society and even affect his life.
(B) the relationship between children's character formation and family education
1, the relationship between children's personality and family education, and the cultivation of personality is closely related to family education methods. Because parents' knowledge, cultural accomplishment, ideological quality, personality characteristics and education (traditional education) are different, the education for children is bound to be different. Family education has been valued by people since ancient times, but it is only in recent years that it is studied as a subject in China. This is the development of the times, the demand for talents and the improvement of the overall quality of the people.
According to relevant data, a person spends13 of his life at home. Family education plays a key role in the cultivation of children's character and even their whole life, which is irreplaceable by any other education. If the child's family education is imperfect and unscientific, it will not only be the child's regret, but also affect his life. Today, with the full implementation of quality education, family education, school education and social education are the three pillars for modern people to grow into talents. And family education plays a fundamental role in this. Therefore, good family education has become the key.
William, a world famous psychologist? James has a famous saying: "sow an action and reap a habit;" Sow a habit and reap a character. "Montessori, a famous educator, also said that" three years old determines a lifetime ".
In a sense, all human habits begin from childhood. These habits are all formed at home and under the education and training of family members. Develop a good habit from childhood, which will accompany you all your life. From the last part, we can see the influence of personality on children's development. So what are the types of family education and what role does it play in children's character development? What kind of family-educated children have good personalities?
(C) the influence of family education on the formation of children's character
1, positive influence If family education is scientific, reasonable and positive, it will play a very good role in promoting the formation of children's personality, help children develop a good personality, get social recognition, and be conducive to his development and the success of his personal career.
2. Negative effects If there are unreasonable, unscientific or even wrong places in family education, it will hinder the formation of children's character. Such children will have a bad personality, will not be accepted by anyone, and will limit their success.
Second, the main problems of family education in the formation of children's character
? (1) It is a pity that the education method is improper. Parents want their children to succeed and their daughters to succeed. But these parents' education methods are unacceptable. However, at present, many unreasonable and unscientific family education methods have brought adverse effects on children's character, and these effects are immeasurable.
1, pamper/spoil The improvement of economic conditions and the decrease of the number of children have made parents more capable and energetic to educate and cultivate terror. All the adults in the family revolve around the children and meet the requirements of loving them back one by one. Their attitude towards children is that they dare not hold them in their hands, for fear of holding them in their mouths, and give them the best conditions for learning and growth. Children have no worries about food and clothing, and they are caring and attentive. From the space quilt and air conditioning in the children's room to the equipment to arm their teeth before going out, they all reflect the love of their parents. In this family, children's behavior is rarely or not regulated, their personality defects are covered up, and bad habits are caused by family accommodation and even encouragement. Ignore any personality development of children. These children are like flowers in a greenhouse, and their immunity is extremely poor, so they can't stand any wind and rain. Such children often have poor ability to bear setbacks, laziness, weak will, lack of self-reliance, poor ability to use their hands and brains, and poor social skills. Therefore, cultural achievements are generally not good, and the ability to respond to human nature is not strong. Children are often disobedient, aggressive, irresponsible, selfish, unloving, self-centered, naive, neurotic, selfish, overbearing, arrogant, lacking in sociality and deep thinking, lacking in kindness, instability, willfulness, not good at controlling their emotions, and lacking in tolerance for difficulties and setbacks. They are often bullied outside their families, easily infected with bad habits, and easily pursued by social undesirable elements.
2. Compulsory/authoritarian parents never or rarely listen to their children's opinions, are subjective and arrogant, always impose their wishes on their children, often physically abuse their children, and do not allow their children to have any independent words and deeds. Restrictions on children are too frequent and strict, and even some parents are harsh and don't understand others. Give children little or no space and time for any activities. Never consider your child's self-esteem in front of outsiders. This kind of parents also pay great attention to their children's grades and are too strict with their children's grades. They are very happy when their children's grades improve, and the decline in grades is like the sky falling, and they can't tolerate the retrogression of their children's studies. Children's independence, initiative and self-esteem are severely suppressed under this kind of family education; Children's personality is smart, sensitive, impatient and competitive, and they are often nervous and fearful; Children may also form habitual lies and engage in two-faced personality; Obedience, lack of self-confidence, stubbornness, cruelty, dishonesty, rudeness, indifference, childishness, dependence, nervousness, negativity, aggression and irresponsibility. With the growth of age, it is easy to form rebellious psychology. If you don't guide, you will even go astray. Your character is either particularly rebellious or particularly cowardly, but one common feature is that you advocate solving problems by force. These parents always think that their idea is to love their children and do everything according to their own ideas for their hobbies. This makes children's independent creativity and independent learning ability poor.
3. Parents who are eager for quick success and instant benefit relax their education and requirements for their children's lofty ideals, do not support their children's elegant taste and lofty pursuit, and only emphasize immediate interests. Parents only pay attention to their children's housework and help them make money, but not to their children's academic and other quality requirements. I think as long as I can make money in the future. Therefore, children are not encouraged or even restricted to enter higher education institutions. Children in this kind of family are generally weak, selfish and self-motivated, and rarely show themselves on their own initiative and have little creative thinking. All aspects of quality are average, and they rarely go with the flow. I gradually felt the influence of teachers' education and society, and formed a carefree character.
4. divorced from reality, such parents pay special attention to their children's hobbies and think their children are geniuses. Some parents impose their personal wishes on their children and spare no effort to train them, hoping that their children will become professionals. Regardless of reality, do everything possible to drag the relationship and take the road. Even spend a lot of money to cram children into key schools, thinking that this is the best way. Evaluating children's conduct or learning ability only by their own subjective imagination, unable to analyze the concept of homework, often makes unrealistic intentions. Children in such families are prone to vanity, exaggeration, improper use of words and opportunism. Lying, cheating. Children's psychological burden is deformed into adults too early, and they are too ambitious in goal setting. Often the results of personal efforts are far from expectations.
5. In a peaceful/indifferent family, no one has his own affairs and faces his own problems and difficulties. The family structure is not tight, so whoever has something doesn't care. In the face of their own success and failure, there is little emotional communication and mutual help. This kind of family separates the children's world from the recognized world, and the communication is not intimate. Under such family education, children are gentle, but somewhat withdrawn. They are calm when they encounter things, but they lack sensitivity and enthusiasm and their enthusiasm is not high. Children's personality will be naive, neurotic, submissive, negative, dependent, emotionally unstable and pessimistic.
(2) Inconsistent family education Parents have different opinions on their children's education.
One indulges in protecting children, and the other plays the image of strict education (one plays the bad COP and the other plays the bad COP). For example, if the child wants to eat snacks, his mother says no, and his father says it doesn't matter, just let him eat. I don't know who to listen to in this situation. It will also affect the effect of education. When parents disagree, especially in front of children, they quarrel and deny each other, which lowers their prestige. Children have the instinct of self-protection, and will choose the reasons why their parents disagree and find the one that is beneficial to them. This will allow children to have two personalities at the same time. Under such education, children will become timid, have poor self-control, have no self-confidence, are ignorant of right and wrong, have high vigilance, are good at observing faces and colors, please both sides, lie and speculate, and get angry easily.
Thirdly, analyze the causes of problems in family education in personality formation.
(1) Influenced by traditional education Parents are influenced by traditional education because they think that their children are at home and everything has to follow him. Other parents think that children should obey their parents in everything and can't violate them. Some parents think:' I am a parent, and you are like a child. It is natural for children to listen to their parents. So everything is in the tone of the old man, talking to the children condescendingly.
(2) Restricted by social factors With the development of modern society, material civilization is becoming more and more abundant. Parents can provide more and more hunger for their children. As a result, the investment in children is increasing and the competition is increasing. Some parents try their best to get their children into prestigious primary schools-prestigious middle schools-prestigious schools. There are also some parents, deeply influenced by "losing money", who have the idea that it is better to study more than to earn more money and refuse to let their children study.
(3) Parents' lack of knowledge in educating their children Although the overall cultural level of China has improved, it seems that the cultural quality is high, which does not mean that the quality of family education is also high. Many parents have high academic qualifications, but their knowledge of educating their children is almost zero. Many parents lack the knowledge of family education and can't give their children proper education at the right time, let alone correct guidance.
Fourthly, the main countermeasures and suggestions of family education in the formation of children's character.
? (1) Montessori's education mode shows that being a good parent is also an art. There are no children who can't learn well, only parents who can't teach well.
(2) Keep pace with the times and update the educational concept.
1, summarizing family life and establishing a new parent-child relationship. Parents should break the feudal patriarchal concept and establish ethnic equality family relations, and it is best to make friends with their children. Correct guidance, less restraint, less punishment and less doting. Give full play to children's autonomy and self-reliance. Strengthen emotional communication, improve the relationship with children, establish a harmonious family environment, and try to avoid parents quarreling.
Parents should be democratic but strict when educating their children. In such a family, parents are neither doting nor demanding on their children. On the one hand, children regard their parents as strict teachers, not eccentric, and at the same time regard their parents as amiable and trustworthy friends. In this way, when individual wishes and demands are fully expressed and respected, children are willing to listen to their parents' opinions, and the self-centered tendency of being strict with themselves is gradually overcome. Because in such a family, children's personality growth has not been suppressed, but also received a good education, so such children can be confident when they grow up, not blindly follow others, have their own opinions in everything, be able to handle things independently, have organizational leadership skills, and be easy to be kind, frank, happy, cooperative, bold, independent, tenacious and creative.
3, democracy, strictness, and no lack of love. Parents' love is the greatest, most selfless and most unquestionable in the world. A famous psychologist believes that parents let their children express all their feelings, whether positive or negative, through language. This is the greatest protection for children.
5. Put forward realistic requirements for children, and strict requirements are not lacking in love education. This can not only make children have patience, adapt to collective life, be bold when things go wrong, but also make children have good characters of being bold, confident, disobedient to authority, respecting and caring for others.
6. Parents should be consistent in their attitudes and ways of educating their children.
(3) Comprehensively improve the quality of family education.
According to statistics, there are more than 230,000 parents' schools in China, and some places have also set up parents' consultation stations and parents' hotlines. This is an effective way to comprehensively improve the quality of parents in family education. Of course, in addition, parents can improve the level of family education through other channels. Parents should communicate with teachers, learn from successful parents, watch more children's books and TV programs, learn more about children's psychology and communicate with children better. Talk to children often to find out their trends and ideas, as well as the difficulties they encounter.
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