Label: Parenting Education Miscellaneous Talk Classification: Essays

Children grow up gradually, and in the process of learning and raising, they can also postpone meeting their own requirements at the right time. When children clamor for adults to take toys or ask for help, they often feel that this is inevitable, because parents immediately satisfy their children. They neither understand the hardships of their parents nor learn to wait. No wonder many parents laugh at themselves as "filial father" and "filial mother". The attitude of parents is the key to whether children can adapt to delayed gratification, so how to teach them in life? A consistent attitude Many people begin to learn how to be parents after they become parents themselves. There are many different stages of children's growth, and the needs of babies at each stage of growth are of course different. Therefore, parents should listen carefully to their children's needs and have the same attitude. If parents' attitudes are inconsistent, children will feel that the principles and attitudes of adults are always changing, which will make them feel at a loss. Gradual methods have replaced strict rules. Adults all know that what children do is to be taught, not born. Nowadays, parents often think too carefully about their children, and contradictory emotions often appear in different things. Once the baby's needs can't be delayed smoothly, there will be impatient tough attitude or passive surrender. In fact, good habits are developed bit by bit in life, and many children will not adapt at first. It will be better for children to get used to it again and again. For example, reward points, verbal praise and so on. It can guide children to finish it automatically and spontaneously, so that children do not have unpleasant emotions in the process of waiting, and prevent waiting from turning into a war for children to see. Giving positive encouragement and care to delay satisfaction is not to limit children's needs. Therefore, when children have needs, parents should face them with a positive attitude. If the request is appropriate, but it can be met later, let the child wait for a while. If he does, give them encouragement and praise to strengthen their motivation to learn. Look at what parents do now. The baby is crying, do you want to coax it right away? For newborns, the most direct way to express their demands is to cry, but parents often don't know why the baby is crying, so when the baby starts to cry, they will rush to pick up the child and coax him. Is it the best solution to coax children when they cry? Most of the demands of newborns are straightforward, that is, crying to tell their parents that they need care. Of course, there are many reasons why children cry, so parents should treat them differently. If the diaper is wet, uncomfortable and dropped, parents should of course solve it immediately, otherwise it will make the child feel uncomfortable and affect his physical and mental development. However, in some cases, you can let the baby wait for a while. For example, sometimes your baby is just hungry. There is no need to give children a chance to learn to wait while giving them milk powder. You can give your child some boiled water, talk to him and let the baby know that there will be milk to drink soon. This will not only let the baby learn to wait, but also allow adults more time to prepare, so as not to be in a hurry. In addition, parents' attitude is also a key point to delay satisfaction. Parents' attitude must be gentle and firm, and they can tell the baby without delay: "Wait a minute, mom will come right away." "Baby lovely, you see mom put this toy away, come and hug you. Wait a minute! " "Look, the milk is ready. Mom can bring a small towel and you can drink it. " It is the most ideal way to train your baby without affecting his normal life. What if the child can't eat well? Sometimes children don't eat well, they run around and let adults chase them, or they just watch wonderful cartoons and don't want to eat without TV. At this time, you can tell your child, "Shall we sit down and eat first?" Because I have to go out to play for a while after dinner, and I can't go out until after dinner. "Or:" You can watch cartoons after dinner, but if you don't eat well now, your mother won't let you watch cartoons. "Let the child know that even if he waits for a while, he can achieve his goal and get the satisfaction he wants. If the child doesn't want to sit down and eat, don't chase the child. Replacing punishment with reward and intimidation with inducement are good ways to help parents make their babies obedient. Never force a child by coercion or condemnation. It's not that children don't want to eat. Only compared with comics, the latter is more attractive. Parents should let their children finish things one by one, such as eating first and then watching TV, instead of throwing away what they should do at once. Such bad habits are formed, and they will inevitably "pick up sesame seeds and lose watermelon" in the future. Do you want to buy this toy for your child right away? The child took a fancy to a toy and clamored to buy it, but this age is not suitable for him to play with. Do you want to buy it for him right away to make him happy, or keep him waiting? This time is also one of the best training opportunities to delay satisfaction. Parents can tell their children why they don't buy it for him now, or they can promise to buy it for him some time later. For example, they can say to him, "Baby, you can't play this scooter yet. It's dangerous. When you are older, we will buy it on your birthday, ok? "Come on, we'll hook up and buy." At this time, most children will agree and look forward to the arrival of their birthdays; However, some children insist on buying immediately. Parents can "threaten" their children: "Mom said to buy it on their birthday. If you don't listen now, mom won't buy it on her birthday. " Let children understand that sometimes patience will bring better results, while impulsiveness will make things worse. Conclusion In the face of children's learning, parents always think a lot about their children, but often ignore the delay of satisfaction, leaving children with no chance to think independently. In the cultivation of life ability, we should also use counseling to give children a chance to think about what they can do before getting help from their parents. Parents can let their children develop good observation ability and a calm attitude to deal with things while waiting through stories or games. Let the child wait for a while and let him learn and think while waiting.

(2) The method guidance of family mental health education in personality development.

Now is the market development period, everything should be based on credit, and competition and employment pay more attention to quality, conduct and ability. After writing about the employment crisis, the current family education mainly comes from the great expectation and pressure on children's survival and development. At the same time, with the changes of society and the progress of civilization, the status and role of family education, school education and social education are increasingly prominent. The cultivation of children's personality has become an unavoidable theme in family education.

British educator Locke once pointed out: "Rules can't be taught to children, and rules are always forgotten by them. ..... Once the habit is cultivated successfully, it can play a role easily and naturally when needed. Only the good principles and solid habits you give him are the most useful and reliable, so it is also the most important. " Compared with family education in real society, this kind of education can be said that most family behaviors are pathetic. Many parents have good intentions in educating their children, and the language of "nurturing goodness" is very poor. They often take pains to warn them thousands of times and remind them again and again. Teaching a child a language for several years or even more than ten years is inseparable from three or two rude words. However, it is futile and counterproductive for teenagers to take a step forward in their psychological personality development. I once saw an article entitled Shrimp in Tears. The story is about this: my son likes to eat shrimp since he was a child. My mother buys fresh shrimp for her son from the vegetable market every day. Although mother can't taste the fresh shrimp, she is happy and satisfied. This is selfless maternal love. Despite rising prices and meager income, my mother is frugal and buys fresh shrimp. One day, my son, who had just entered adolescence, ate shrimp bought by several mothers with relish, and the last one was tired of it. His mother looked at the shrimp left on the plate and reached for it, trying to taste the shrimp he hadn't heard of for years. But the son shouted at his mother, "This shrimp is mine, and you are not allowed to eat it." At this time, my mother was sad and sad, and the tears she shed just fell on the shrimp in her hand. I couldn't tell whether it was my mother's tears or the shrimp's tears.

Our love for teenagers often lacks the guidance of education, making them arrogant and selfish and not caring about their parents. Therefore, as parents, we should pay attention to educating them to learn to be human in daily life. Parents should learn to be good at taking it and let their children make a cup of tea when they are tired and sleepy. No matter what delicious food you buy, try to share it with your children. Parents should be happy or grateful for their caring for their parents. Therefore, as parents, we should fully consider their age and personality characteristics, not only take a proactive attitude to strengthen guidance, but also educate them patiently and cautiously.

1. Pay attention to it ideologically and strengthen correct guidance. For example, adolescent girls, it is the moment when they enter junior high school from primary school that their study life has undergone great changes. In the form and psychology, I am approaching adulthood, eager for independent consciousness, and gradually grow up in self-awareness and self-expression. They want to be independent and don't want their parents to interfere too much. Their mood is easy to fluctuate, their psychology changes quickly, and they often have obvious extreme characteristics and are prone to conflict with their parents. At this time, parents should guide them from the front, understand their children's psychological status, help them and guide their healthy development.

2. Help adolescent children to have a correct understanding and establish a positive, healthy and upward psychology. The vast majority of adolescent children are willing and willing to associate with the opposite sex, especially women are more sensitive to the opposite sex than men, which is related to women's psychological characteristics and family constraints and discipline on girls. Therefore, it is one of the important responsibilities of parents to correctly guide the normal communication between men and women in adolescence and carry out mental health education.