Young men and women abandoned the embarrassment of handing handkerchiefs and sachets, and replaced them with a more open way of love, and the problem of college students' love is precisely one of the most puzzling problems.
It is an important task of mental health education to pay attention to college students' love psychology and cultivate their correct view of love.
Keywords: psychological characteristics of college students' love; Psychological dilemma of premarital sex; solution
Love is undoubtedly one of the topics that college students are most concerned about, but it is not uncommon for college students to fall in love, but it is a household name.
Some people say it's a pity that love doesn't have a university, but love is very attractive in the eyes of many college students and affects everyone's heart.
I don't think it is advisable for me to fall in love for the sake of falling in love. Because, this is not two people's emotional affection, but seems to be an exchange of tasks and missions. This kind of love often produces many contradictions. If it is not handled properly, it will produce contradictions, distort personality, and even cause emotional and mental abnormalities.
So, what is love? What are the psychological characteristics of college students' love? What is the psychological trouble in love? What kind of sexual morality should college students have? How to avoid psychological crisis in love? How do college students establish a correct view of love?
First, what is love?
Love has been given different definitions in different times.
In the old society, love was built in the box frame with the wife as the husband. Unequal status destroys the balance of love, and women are often in a passive and neglected position in marriage and love.
Now love is the most sincere love for each other formed by two people in their own hearts based on certain material conditions and the same ideal of life. They are eager for each other to become their lifelong partners and require each other to be single-minded and be alone for the rest of their lives.
Second, the psychological characteristics of love that college students usually reflect at present
Life psychology of games
Many college students fall in love for the sake of love. I don't have my own position on love. I think if I have a couple, I will be more attractive than others. Their love motivation is often to satisfy the desire to communicate with the opposite sex, seek personal stimulation and fill the spiritual emptiness, which is one of the important reasons why college students have premarital sex.
(2) Sexual curiosity
This kind of psychology is a phenomenon of sexual impulse caused by physical maturity, and such groups often have a strong sense of closeness to the opposite sex.
(3) Dependence psychology
Due to the implementation of family planning, many college students are only children. This group has a strong sense of loneliness and is used to taking care of and caring for others. This can be called the so-called "emotional sustenance" love motivation, lacking independent consciousness and self-reliance ability.
They are easily frustrated emotionally, and it is difficult to deal with their emotional and psychological problems.
3. Psychological Dilemma of College Students in Love
Some people who think that they are not beautiful and attractive will feel inferior because they have no lovers, think that they are not attractive to the opposite sex, can't communicate honestly with the opposite sex, are afraid of losing face in front of the opposite sex, and usually like people to associate with the opposite sex.
The reasons for the above psychological difficulties are:
1, tempting love misunderstanding
According to the questionnaire data, 65% of college students tend to pay attention to physical attraction when choosing a spouse, and 85% of these people seem to care more about physical attraction. In fact, they think personality, talent, character and interest are more attractive when choosing a spouse.
2. No scientific cognition
I don't know myself, I don't have an objective evaluation of myself, I don't realize the importance of my role, and I don't know the opposite sex. If you spend too much time with the opposite sex, you can't master the way of communication with the opposite sex well.
It's hard to find a lover. After making a mistake, many people will say, "I have many friends of the opposite sex around me." However, no one can develop into a lover. In fact, this phenomenon is very common in colleges and universities. The main reason is that the understanding of friendship and love is still superficial, which is also related to the rapid development of today's society and the renewal of ideas. The complex interpersonal relationship thus formed has impacted the psychology of college students.
Such a group must have firm feelings when choosing a spouse. Be brave enough to say no to those who pursue you, and don't make them feel hopeful. This is responsible for friendship, but also for yourself. Learn to control your feelings and don't throw them about.
(3) Afraid of falling in love, afraid to move forward
Most college students are 18 and 19 in their prime. In fact, their minds have just developed, they have no love experience, and their thoughts are not mature. So many college students are thinking about what to do if love fails, fearing that they can't stand it and don't want to fall in love. On the other hand, they have a certain "love phobia" and are keen on pursuing the opposite sex, but when real happiness comes, they will shrink back and stop each other's footsteps.
Such a group, after the failure of love, many college students indulge in the shadow of lovelorn and embark on the road of self-destruction, or college students have excessive behavior, such as suicide revenge, which eventually hurts themselves and our closest people.
(d) sexual confusion
College students are physically mature and have a certain sexual desire, but they can't solve the problem of premarital sex.
According to the tenth five-year key scientific research project of Hubei Province, only 3 1.9% of college students think chastity is important. As for "sexual freedom", only 19.8% students expressed unconditional obedience. So many college students try sexual freedom and indulge themselves. Therefore, it is not an earth-shattering scandal that many female college students are pregnant secretly in China, but because of the influence of western love thoughts on China's concept and the development of social situation.
Fourthly, the current situation of college students' sexual morality.
Many college students pursue their own sense of excitement and self-satisfaction. While seeking self-liberation, they don't consider the consequences and don't care about their moral integrity at all.
When having sex outside marriage, many college students still think that "love is enough". On the issue involving a third party, they said that "meeting each other late" had nothing to do with extramarital sex.
But in fact, women's sexual morality is stronger than men's, and it is impossible for women who have lived in China for thousands of years to release their ideological bondage overnight.
5. How do college students avoid psychological crisis in love?
In view of the psychological crisis of college students, the school should carry out the course of college students' love psychology, popularize the popular science knowledge of sex education to students, enhance their sense of responsibility and cultivate their courage to be responsible and responsible.
Specific measures: carry out the psychological education course of love for college students, and set up and guide students to correctly understand the relationship between love and society, love and physical and mental health, love and success.
Start counseling and provide consulting services for college students.
(C) to carry out psychological activities of college students,
Psychological competition, psychological painting, psychological information, psychological quality test, etc.
6. College students' correct view of love
The concept of love is the basic view people hold on the issue of love, which has a lot to do with one's world outlook, outlook on life and values.
Include the following points. Have pure love motives.
The purpose of love is not to get anything from each other. Love is mutual and relative. Unless it is true love, it is impossible for either party to just give rather than pursue.
We are looking for a life partner like ourselves, but don't let each other become a stepping stone to improve ourselves.
To establish a relationship between men and women who are dedicated to love, we must stand the changes of time, space and conditions, pay attention to maintaining and cultivating this kind of feeling, know how to be self-disciplined, and avoid fickle ideas.
Love is exclusive, and the feelings that love can endure are only contained between two people, refusing to insert the third law and even breaking up feelings.
(3) mutual respect and understanding
Mutual respect is the foundation of love. In love, we should learn to trust each other, respect each other's family, friends, work and life, and establish equal, pure and noble love on the basis of respect.
(4) Cherish each other's feelings. You know, if you want to fall in love in all universities, most of the failures are ignoring each other's feelings. This will give the other person an impression that they don't care about your feelings and make them doubt the truth of your feelings. Understanding and warmth are the keys to a long-term relationship.
(5) Healthy and rational. No matter how this relationship works, you should have a clear head. Don't hurt others and don't hurt yourself.
When encountering emotional entanglements, we should observe each other calmly, grasp each other's attitude macroscopically and control our feelings rationally.
Seven. close
At present, there is indeed an extreme tendency of stupidity and rashness in the current situation of college students' sexual intercourse.
After the great social change, the flood of lust made some college students lose their correct moral concepts.
Don't make love utilitarian, and don't look for love in order to get rid of loneliness and boredom.
Don't fall in love for love's sake, find your own feelings. Love in school is unforgettable and precious. Then, cherish it and don't let yourself regret it. Dealing with the emotional problems and relationships between the two sexes is the backbone of national construction during the growth of college students.
References:
Love psychology author: Ye Zi
Family species-family confession by Peng
Investigation on sexual knowledge, sexual morality and sexual problems of students in higher vocational colleges such as Zhang, Zhao Hanfen and Guan
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