2. When I took off my pillow and went to college, there was a girl with short breasts. I really hope I can grow taller and drink milk every day. It turned out to be counterproductive. The more I drink, the bigger my breasts become. One day in an open class, she fell asleep. When the teacher called the roll, she woke up immediately, just as the teacher saw her. The teacher said, "The classmate who slept just now, please take down the pillow." Everyone laughed.
3. Do you dare to smoke? A student learned to smoke. One day, he walked out of school after school and just took out a cigarette from his pocket, only to find that the class teacher didn't know when he had stood in front of him. Seeing the teacher's eyes wide open, he trembled with fear. The teacher roared, "Don't you dare smoke!" The students immediately threw their cigarettes on the ground. The teacher shouted again: "Don't you dare to waste!" After listening, the students quickly picked it up from the ground and handed it to the teacher. The teacher didn't answer and roared, "How dare you bribe!" The students quickly stuffed them into their pockets. The teacher shouted more angrily, "Do you dare to do it again?" The students were at a loss and cried with a "wow".
4, Niu B classmates sure enough, Niu B will check the situation of family children one day. Teacher: Who is not an only child? Stand up. Niu B: Teacher, I … have a younger brother. Teacher: Oh, how old is it? Niu B: He is the same age as me. Teacher: Really, what a coincidence. Niu B: Really, ask him. Teacher: How do you ask? Niu B: Ask directly. He lives in my pants. The next day, the whole school was in informed criticism. ...
5. Ask and answer questions about the celebration of the school and hold a ceremony. During the ceremony, the host asked questions and randomly selected students to answer them. That's right. And a little present. The host's question is: Who is the oldest emperor in history? I chose a wonderful flower from our class, and he replied into the microphone: "Jade Emperor ..."
"Let's go and play football." A Kai shouted to me at the dormitory door with a football in his arms.
"Oh, I won't go, I have something to do." I lay in bed and said.
"You boy, holding a mobile phone all day, do you have a girlfriend?" Ah Kai patted the ball and said.
"How can I have a girlfriend?" I put my mobile phone in my pocket. "If I have a girlfriend who still stays in the dormitory."
"You boy, there must be something." Kay held the ball in her arms. "You still hide. Young people should have the passion to burn their youth, not their mothers. Tell me, buddy, which college beauty. " Ah Kai provoked two heavy eyebrows, revealing a white front tooth.
"No, absolutely not." I dug out a copy of Jin Ping Mei from the bedside and narrowed my eyes.
"Come on, kakashi, with our friendship for so many years, you can deceive me. Don't forget, I played more holes than you saw the ball. " Kay looked at me with a slutty face.
"Go, go," I put the book on my face. "I'm not as dirty as you."
"Well, you are not a dirty person, but you are dirty, not alone. Who masturbates after lights out every day? You are blue in the quilt, hahaha. " Ah Kai smiled impudently.
"I'm too lazy to care about you." I squinted and pretended to sleep. "Kai is still here. I made an appointment with a beautiful woman online the day before yesterday and will arrive soon. " I'm a little worried.
"Akai senior, our stadium was occupied by those guys from the Institute of Electrical Appliances. Senior Asma asked me to show you. There may be a fight. " In the corridor, Iruka shouted breathlessly.
"Fight?" Kay ran out with the ball in her arms. He heard the sound of fighting, just like a scholar saw knowledge, a businessman saw wealth, a rogue saw beauty, and an old cow saw tender grass. This is overwhelming.
I listened to the noise in the corridor, and everyone rushed to the stadium. After a while, it was quiet. I got out of bed and closed the dormitory door. I quickly took out my mobile phone, clicked on WeChat and found the beauty I just added yesterday. Her screen name is-familiar body. Listen to the name, "familiar body". I felt it as soon as I heard the name. Of course, I also use the screen name. I remember when I first played WeChat. After flirting with her for a week, she sent me a message: "Senior Kakashi, I am talking to you this time. I am Woody Sakura, and we all like to chat with you. " At that time, I almost fainted. "Woody cherry? Everyone? " My reputation has been ruined by these little girls all my life. I blushed for many days when I saw them.
Later I used a screen name. I originally wanted to write about Jiraiya, honorary professor of our Civil Engineering College. He is powerful, rich and powerful, and will certainly attract a large number of girls. I forgot when I thought about it later. If the old man knew, I wouldn't be fired. So I used the current screen name-local tiger balm, high-end, atmospheric, high-end. Of course, all the information is also false, and I can't expose my local tyrant status.
I didn't like to play WeChat before. QQ and everyone are enough for me to toss and turn. Ever since I got a bottle on WeChat, the discoverer is really a good tool to pick up girls. I have never watched Japanese action movies since I got WeChat.
I quickly typed two lines "What should I do? Miss you. "
Soon WeChat replied "I miss you in bed, too."
There seems to be a play today. I pulled the quilt on my body and replied, "How much do you miss it?"
"I really want to think about it." Wechat will be back soon. I untied the belt in the quilt and quickly pressed my finger.
"Bang" the dormitory door was suddenly burst open, and Ah Kai came in sweating. "Kakashi, when are you still sleeping? Come out with me. " Kai uncovered the quilt I had just covered. "Come on ... gee ... oh." Ah Kai paused for a moment, then shouted, "You are masturbating again."
I looked at my hand still in my underwear, and then at Kai. This son of a bitch has ruined my good thing again, and the critical moment always comes out of place. Last time I chatted with Red Bean Sister, it was this guy who dragged me to play football.
"Don't hit the plane first. The playground seems to be very lively. I came to call you specially. " Ah Kai said, dragging my arm.
"Keep your voice down." I said, "Who told you to call me here on purpose?"
"We are good brothers. Can we not call you if we have something good? " Kay looked at me lewdly.
"What good thing?" I knew it was bad when I looked at Kay's lewd expression. The reason why people have such a lewd expression is just because they think of men and women. If Ah Kai has this expression, he must have seen dogs or pigs mating somewhere again. Last time, he dragged me three miles to see two dogs mating in the middle of the road. He also carefully studied the shape of the dog in the back, and even took photos and sent them to the circle to organize a referendum.
I put on my shoes and tied my belt. "Did you see the dog mating again?" Before he put on his shoes, Ah Kai dragged him away.
"Absolutely not so vulgar." Ah Kai said solemnly, "Am I a vulgar person?" "Ha, ha, ha, it's a fox and a cow, double H-class, so exciting."
"What? Fox and cow? " This is the first time I've heard of such a thing. I need to take a good look. I dragged my shoes down the stairs. Just out of the dormitory, I remembered that my booty friend was still on WeChat, so I turned upstairs to get my mobile phone.
"How to get back?" Ah Kai shouted, tugging at my skirt.
"I forgot my cell phone." I said.
"Nothing, I brought my camera. This is a unique HD version. " Ah Kai took the camera out of his pocket and the expression on his face became more lewd.
"I'm not taking pictures, I'm ..." Before I finished, Ah Kai dragged me to the football field.
When they came to the football field, there were two groups of people, one from the Civil Engineering College and the other from the Electrical Engineering College.
"Sorry, get out of the way, get out of the way." Ah Kai dragged me out of the crowd and came to the middle of the crowd. Asma stood in front with her waist inserted. The naked and sexy long-haired beauty beside her is his girlfriend, and the other two are his two footmen and bodyguards, Yunyun and Xuan. It's good to have an awesome father. Look at Asma, except for her developed limbs, she has only a simple mind. Every exam is the countdown of the class, but she is always the first, the scholarship is his, the president of the student union is his, and all kinds of honors will beat him inexplicably. Now, the most enchanting woman in the college is also his. Who let his father be the dean of the School of Civil Engineering? I looked at Sarutobi Kurenai, and it was red.
"Good, win again." There was a roar in the crowd, and people who felt constipation for several days suddenly cleared up. It turns out that everyone is so interested in the mating between the fox and the old cow.
"Ha, I won again." Another deceptive phone call.
"What are you doing in the middle?" I asked XuanYi standing by. Because I have been studying under the covers for a long time, my eyesight has decreased and I can't see things far away clearly, but I seldom wear glasses except for exams and swimming classes. Only a few things can be seen vaguely among the crowd now.
"What about guessing boxing?" Xuan stared at the front.
"Guess boxing?" Ah Kai shouted, "Isn't it mating?"
I instantly felt countless eyes coming. I quickly covered Kay's mouth. I don't want him to shout any more.
"Who guessed boxing there?" I asked.
"Can't you see for yourself?" Xuan said without spirit.
"Sorry, I'm nearsighted and don't wear glasses." I said sullenly.
"Oh, it's Kakashi." Xuan turned to see it was me, and immediately piled up a smile. "Is our college pet Xiao Jiu fox and electrical institute of small eight cattle naruto.
I smiled, and Xuanyi's attitude still satisfied me. I can give this boy extra points in the next assessment. I forgot to mention, I am the head of the practice evaluation group of the college. These guys' practice scores are all reported by me like the dean. Of course, only those who don't have a good father will be in my charge.
"Who brought Xiao Ba Niu out?" I asked.
"Chirabi." Xuan replied
"Who is Chirabi?" I asked.
"The younger brother of the dean of the School of Electrical Engineering is a super schoolmaster, but his brain is not good." XuanYi pointed to his head. "He is a retard."
"How come I've never heard of Chirabi?" I asked.
"He just came back from studying in Congo, and I heard that the technology is very powerful." Xuan replied. Xuanyi this guy has nothing special, but he is well informed through the grapevine. As long as what happened at school, there is nothing he doesn't know. It can be said that the only thing that doesn't happen, what he doesn't know, is simply a mobile phone camera.
I craned my neck, but I still couldn't see the front clearly. "Use my eyes." Rizu took off his eyes and handed them to me. I put them on rudely. Although they are still vague, I can always see what is happening. In the middle of the venue, Naruto sat opposite a burly man in black, and the fox and the old cow were guessing boxing in the middle of the venue. Every time the old cow puts out a hoof in disgust, the fox puts out a slap.
"Well, it was Cloth who won the hammer again." The crowd behind him shouted.
I looked at the dark crowd around me. "Am I retarded or are they stupid? I poked Akai who was crying alone. " I had something to do, so I went back first. "
"Do you want to leave before the result is decided?" The deer stood behind me for a long time and said
"Is this still a draw?" I said, "Didn't we win?"
"Haha, what you think is too simple." Lu Jiu said with his hands on his chest.
In fact, I really don't like Lu Jiu's procrastination. Your father is a deer catcher in Changbai Mountain, and gave the dean a big basket of velvet antler as a transfer student. What resistance? I always draw a big duck egg in his social practice column, but I still can't stop him from getting a scholarship. This guy is so clever that he gets full marks in all subjects. I can't help him at all.
"What do you mean?" I look up with my eyes.
"Guessing is just a cover. The real purpose is this football field. Now there are five colleges in our school: Civil Engineering College, Electrical Engineering College, Water Conservancy College, Agricultural College and Metallurgical College, among which Electrical Engineering College and Civil Engineering College are the largest. It is indisputable that this football field is allocated to five colleges for rotation from Monday to Friday, but the use on Saturday and Sunday is very controversial. Basically, who occupies who uses it, so conflicts often occur in colleges and universities. In order to suppress the struggle between colleges, the school adopts a high-pressure policy, which is to deduct credits and expel students from school. For example, Deidara of Agricultural College, Scorpion of Metallurgical College, Shark of Water Conservancy College and Skunk of Civil Engineering College were all expelled from the school for fighting and undermining unity. Recently, I heard that they all took part in training courses held in Nagato. The Institute of Electrical Appliances wanted to occupy the long-term right to use the Saturday and Sunday stadium, but didn't want to be expelled from the institute, so it persuaded Chilabi, who had just returned from studying abroad, to bring out his pet Xiao Ba Niu and Naruto's Xiao Jiu fox for boxing. All fools know that Chilabi's Xiao Ba Niu is bound to lose, so they can challenge him fair and square on the grounds of finding face for Xiao Ba Niu. Even though the college pursued him, Chirabi, who had just returned, stared at him. After all, no one dares to fire the younger brother of the dean of the Institute of Electrical Engineering. Deer long said slowly
"Hum, I knew it." I said disdainfully, but I was secretly surprised. "It seems that this boy's good homework is really not covered, and the analysis is clear."
Sure enough, a girl with red hair jumped out. "I am Carouhy, Minister of Literature and Art of the School of Electrical Engineering. You should insult our sacred pet and senior Kirby so much. This is a great insult to us, and a gentleman can kill but not insult. Now, on behalf of our school of electrical engineering, I challenge your school of civil engineering. Is it a one-on-one fight or a group fight?
"Who is this non-mainstream girl?" I asked.
"Carouhy, Minister of Literature and Art, School of Electrical Engineering," Xuan Yi said.
"One-on-one." As soon as Ah Kai heard the fight "whoosh" coming out, the fight could wash away his loss of not seeing animals mating. "Group fighting is so boring that I want to fight one-on-one." Akai stood in the middle, raised his arm and pointed his thumb at each other. "Who dares to fight to the death with me?" Ah Kai growled loudly.
For an instant, the venue was silent, and everyone was stunned by Ah Kai's momentum. Ah Kai proudly showed Bai Jie's front teeth.
"Ah ..." Before Akai's front teeth were exposed, she flew like a kite with a broken thread. It turned out that he was standing behind the old cow's ass, and the old cow was so angry that he lost 18 innings in a row. As soon as he lifted his foot, he kicked Ah Kai away and landed right in the crowd of the Electric Power Institute.
"fight!" I don't know who shouted in the crowd, and Ah Kai left countless fist prints and footprints in an instant.
I heard Ah Kai crawling in the crowd and shouting, "Isn't it a one-on-one fight? Isn't it a one-on-one hit? "
"Yes, a group of us have chosen you." Card ru in accordance with a face of disdain shouted
I really don't know if Akai was born stupid or acquired stupid. Just fight, that is, just wave the flag and shout behind the crowd. He must fight one-on-one It doesn't eat. Just stand in the back and shout twice. If he wins, he can kick the enemy lying on the ground with both feet, but he loses. What a wonderful thing! I don't know whether he is crazy or kicked by a donkey. One to one? You deserve to be beaten by a bunch of people. Who told you to interrupt my chat? No wonder Akai wears bandages all day. If he doesn't wear a bandage, he will.
"derailed, derailed." Asma took the lead in shouting, "We protest that your Institute of Electrical Engineering has broken the unity clause of the college alliance. I want to complain to the school guidance office. We express our deep regret and strong dissatisfaction with your behavior of ignoring the college alliance and breaking the solidarity clause without authorization. I will submit our protest and negotiation agreement to the director of Minlang's elegy as soon as possible, and my father will convene a meeting of the Alliance of the Five Institutes as soon as possible. For your despicable behavior today, we will demand an explanation at the alliance meeting. In the spirit of unity and friendship, our College of Civil Engineering once again expresses its condemnation and indignation at the behavior of your College of Electrical Engineering. Our College of Civil Engineering will continue to unite under the leadership of Feisuanshan and unswervingly follow the path of peaceful development, which no reactionary forces can change. " Asma waved her arms and said passionately.
It's strange, since when did Asma have such eloquence? You can't underestimate him. It's really amazing.
"Civil, civil, civil ..." Behind me, there was a roar like a jackal.
"Dear, I love you so much." Sarutobi Kurenai crossed her legs and kissed Asma, which made my heart itch.
"how about it? I am still familiar with it. " Asma whispered in front of Lu Jiu.
"Well, except what I forgot, I basically memorized it." Lu Jiu said.
"My dad said he would give me a car when I was finished. Do you know what car he gave me? It's not Maserati. " Asma asked.
"I don't know, I am only responsible for planning, not for cars." Lu Jiu said.
"I wish I had a train. The wind is stronger when driving a train. " Asma was immersed in his train dream.
"Everyone should go back. If you really fight, there will be no chance at the meeting of the Fifth Academy. " Lu Jiu reminded Asma.
"Oh, it's time to go back." Asma stood up. "Well, that, this, this, this, let's all go home." I'm sure Asma must have forgotten the conclusion, just like you made an impassioned and inspiring speech, and then put on an angry look at the end, lacking in fighting spirit.
However, the playground soon disappeared, and everyone came to watch the fun. Who really fights like a fool? Of course, Kay is an exception. He was lying in the mud, with a black face and groaning, and his voice sounded like he had been shot.
Come on, I have to carry him back to see if he is badly hurt. He must go to the infirmary. I haven't seen this girl silent for a long time. You can talk to her and the little nurse over there. You can't come out for nothing. I dragged Akai to the infirmary. Yamato came: "Senior Kakashi, the college held a meeting to discuss the general meeting of the Fifth Academy. The dean wants you to go there. "
"Shit, can you not be so fast?" I muttered, "Make it look good, you idiot."
"Akai's leg is broken. I want to take him to the infirmary. " I pointed to Kay's leg and said.
"Vice President Gang Shou is a senior official personally ordered." Yamato blinked and said.
"That Akai's leg has healed. Let's go to the meeting. " I dragged Akai around 180 degrees and walked to the college. "That's Gang Shou, vice president. Silence is not an onion. " I am inexplicably excited at the thought of seeing the heart of Gang Shou Vice President Feng Wei. "Gang Shou ... no, it's a meeting. I'm here." I dragged Akai to the civil engineering conference hall.