Paper Keywords: teenagers; Mental health; Family education

Abstract: Family education plays an important role in teenagers' mental health. At present, there are three misunderstandings in family education: first, educating children is educating intelligence; Parents talk more than they teach; The satisfaction of children's material requirements exceeds the concern of children's spiritual needs. We should give full play to the important role of family education in teenagers' mental health, that is, to play the role of parents' good example, good parenting style and good family atmosphere.

Qian Qian needs thousands of talents from all walks of life in order to realize national rejuvenation and build a modern socialist power. The cultivation of talents depends on education, so people pay more attention to education, and parents also want their children to become talents.

First, mental health is the primary requirement for talents in modern society.

1. Mental health is the primary requirement for talents.

In recent years, psychologists have put forward a relatively new view: for a person's success, IQ only accounts for 20%, while EQ accounts for 80%. EQ is more important than IQ, and it will become the primary factor to measure a person's quality in 2 1 century. IQ is an indicator of people's intelligence level, which is used to compare people's intelligence. Emotional quotient refers to people's ability to know, control and adjust their emotions, which mainly includes five aspects: knowing their own emotions, managing their own emotions, self-motivation ability, knowing others' emotions and interpersonal relationship management. Emotional intelligence education pays attention to the influence of strong will, good self-control and psychological adjustment ability, optimistic and enterprising personality. EQ education enables teenagers to learn emotional management, how to be a person, make them happier, more confident, more popular, more caring and more willpower, and learn how to face difficulties and setbacks in life. Emotional quotient is an important content of people's mental health standard, and mental health is the primary requirement for talents.

2. Adolescent mental health standards

(1) Know yourself realistically, admit yourself and accept yourself. This means having a correct self-concept and accepting yourself realistically. The more consistent a person's understanding of himself is with the actual situation, the more favorable it is to adapt to the environment, indicating that his psychology is in a normal and healthy state.

(2) Understand and reflect the reality in a reasonable way, effectively control your own thoughts and behaviors, and have a moderate emotional response. The so-called reasonable understanding of objective reality means not to go against common sense when you know something common sense that everyone knows. Mental health people's response to external stimuli is reasonable and moderate. The exultation is exultation, and the meanness is meanness.

(3) Endurance to setbacks and normal self-defense mechanism. When encountering setbacks, mentally healthy people will consciously or unconsciously use some self-defense methods to eliminate the inner tension caused by unsatisfied needs, thus showing good tolerance for setbacks.

(4) Behavior conforms to social roles and conventions. Society has corresponding requirements or norms for various roles. The behavior of an individual is basically consistent with the norms of his role, which is the expression of his mental health and normal state.

(5) Normal and healthy communication. Be able to communicate with people around you in a normal way, without abnormal communication behaviors such as social phobia and extreme self-centeredness.

(6) Unified personality and psychological continuity. Healthy personality is unified, so it shows consistency and unity.

Second, the current misunderstanding of family education

Family education refers to the social activities that parents consciously and consciously influence their children through their own words and deeds and family life practice in accordance with the requirements of social training talents. Parents are the first teachers of the children. The influence of parents on the growth of teenagers is subtle and far-reaching. Good family education is the first factor for the healthy growth of teenagers.

However, at present, many parents have misunderstandings in family education, mainly as follows:

1. People think that educating children means educating children intellectually.

Parents are willing to invest in education. Parents try their best to send their children to key kindergartens, key primary schools and key middle schools. In addition to normal school study, parents also provide their children with various training courses and special courses, hoping that their children can acquire more knowledge and skills. Parents believe that as long as their children study hard, they will become talents needed by society in the future, and their tasks will be completed. In their view, successful family education is successful intellectual education. This completely ignores children's playful nature, makes them feel unhappy in their studies, bored in their lives, prone to school weariness and rebellious attitude towards their parents, and even escapes from their families, causing a series of social problems.

Parents talk more than they teach.

Some parents keep preaching to their children, nagging the truth of being a man all day, being well-informed and tireless. But they themselves deal with problems according to different principles in real life. This kind of duplicity, duplicity, often makes children at a loss, at a loss, don't know how to behave and stand in society.

3. Meeting children's material requirements exceeds paying attention to children's spiritual needs.

Parents generally believe that no matter how hard they suffer, they can't suffer their children. Most parents are responsive to their children's material requirements. Parents are more willing to meet their children's requirements if their children's studies improve and their grades improve. When children are depressed, parents seldom care about their inner feelings and negative emotions, which is relatively dull. They just urge their children to stop thinking and study hard, otherwise their grades will be affected. Although the children have no worries about food and clothing, they can't feel the understanding, care and love of their parents, and feel lonely and helpless. There is little effective communication between children and parents in the family, which directly affects the development of children's emotional intelligence, the improvement of interpersonal skills and the healthy psychological growth.

For a long time, parents only pay attention to teenagers' physical health and knowledge progress, but seriously ignore the healthy growth of teenagers' psychology, and neglect to teach their children how to communicate, communicate and cooperate with others and how to be a man, which will benefit teenagers for life.

Third, give full play to the role of family education in adolescent mental health.

Family education means that parents consciously and purposefully influence their children's activities through their manners, methods and the use of family environment in the process of getting along with their children day and night. Family education has a far-reaching influence on teenagers' physical and mental health, personality and the formation and development of personality. The role of family education in adolescent mental health is shown in the following aspects:

1. Parents are good role models.

Parents should deeply realize that their words and deeds and every move have a subtle influence on their children's mental health development and play a key role. Parents should set an example.

Confucius said:? It is upright and does not command; His body is not straight, although he disobeys. ? Psychologist Bandura has done an aggressive response test and found that children tend to imitate the actions of adults. This experiment proves to people the importance of example behavior to children's growth. Parents are role models for children, and children are parents' shadows. Parents' moral cultivation, words and deeds, even the details of expressions and actions have a subtle influence on teenagers. Parents' demonstration behavior will play a role in drawing inferences from others.

2. The role of good parenting style

(1) Generally, there are four parenting styles.

The first kind, doting. Parents take children as the center, unconditionally meet their children's requirements and create a family? Little emperor? 、? Little princess? . Spoiling makes children selfish, willful, arrogant, self-centered, lacking in sense of responsibility, and not knowing how to respect, care and thank. Once such a child leaves his family and goes to society, he will run into a wall everywhere and be at a loss. Parents' love only hurts their children.

The second is arbitrary. Parents are too strict with their children's education, rude and blunt, and force their children to do things according to their own wishes. The simplicity and rudeness of parents make children feel inferior, cowardly, indifferent, rebellious and insecure. Such children are either passive, indifferent or fearless to Nuo Nuo, and it is difficult for them to get along well with others, which seriously hurts their body and mind.

The third is laissez-faire. Parents ignore their children. Parents don't care about their children, making them indifferent, selfish, ignorant of love and care, conniving, without sense of responsibility and compassion. Once such children are stimulated by the outside world, they are prone to extreme behavior, leading to illegal crimes.

Fourth, democracy. Parents care, respect, understand and trust their children. They love their children but are not used to them. They are strict but not demanding. Encourage and guide children more. Parents' care and respect make children sincere, confident, self-respecting, enterprising, responsible, harmonious in interpersonal relationships and well adapted to society. Obviously, among the four parenting styles, only the democratic parenting style is most conducive to the healthy growth of teenagers.

Research shows that parental rearing patterns have an important influence on the formation of adolescents' personality characteristics and the way of coping with life events. Parents' good parenting style makes children emotionally stable, relaxed and excited, confident and cheerful, which can promote the healthy development and formation of teenagers' personality characteristics and enable teenagers to form a positive coping style of solving problems and asking for help. Bad parenting will make

Children are self-centered, arrogant and willful, or feel inferior and timid, sensitive and suspicious, or selfish and indifferent, with poor interpersonal relationships, poor adaptability and lack of subjective well-being, which leads to unhealthy personality characteristics and negative coping styles such as self-blame, fantasy, retreat and rigidity.

(2) Parents should change their educational concepts. Parents should not only care about their children's physical health and intellectual development, but also pay attention to their emotional intelligence education and mental health development. Parents should care, respect and understand their children and maintain a good parent-child relationship with them. All these help children learn how to express themselves, how to care about others, how to establish good interpersonal relationships, promote their mental health, and lay the foundation for their future success and lifelong happiness.

3. The important role of a good family atmosphere

Family atmosphere mainly refers to the atmosphere formed by the relationship between family members. Husband-wife relationship and parent-child relationship are the most important relationships in the family. Here, we only discuss the influence of husband-wife relationship on teenagers' mental health. Whether the relationship between husband and wife is harmonious will always infect children, which is of great significance to the growth of children. A loving family is a paradise for children's mental health growth. Harmonious family atmosphere is an important guarantee for children's psychological healthy growth.

For the healthy psychological development of teenagers, for their happy growth and lifelong happiness, parents should maintain a harmonious relationship between husband and wife, which is the basis of a good family atmosphere. Husband and wife respect each other, trust each other, care for each other and help each other, and create a loving family environment for children, so that children can grow up healthily and happily under the comfort of love. There are contradictions and differences between husband and wife, so avoid quarreling in front of children. Even if the husband and wife divorce, don't blame each other in front of the children. Let children feel that their parents still love them. Growing up in an atmosphere of love, children also understand love, learn to love, and become lively, cheerful, positive, open-minded and considerate.

Teenagers are the future and hope of the country, shouldering the glorious mission of building China into a powerful socialist modernization country and realizing the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation. The healthy growth of teenagers depends on the care and love of the country and society, and also on the edification and nourishment of the family environment.

? References:

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[2] China Youth Research Center? A comparative study on the value orientation of Chinese and Russian college students? Research group. Comparative research report on the value orientation of Chinese and Russian college students [J]. China Youth Research, 2008( 12).

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[4] Zheng. Handbook of psychological counseling for adolescents [K]. Shanghai: Shanghai People's Publishing House, 2009.

[5] Zhang changed his career. The influence of parental rearing patterns on college students' personality characteristics and coping styles [J]. Journal of Xinxiang Medical College, 2006,23 (6).

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