Spoiled parents also like to take care of all the big and small affairs in their children's lives, preferring to be tired for their children rather than working hard. On the one hand, it makes children feel inferior and thinks that only you can do it, but I won't. On the other hand, I take it for granted that my parents should do everything for him and I don't know how to be grateful. If parents or others don't do what he asks, they will be very dissatisfied.

There are two kinds of doting.

In related articles, there are two kinds of doting-arranged doting and indulgent doting. In arranged doting, parents regard their children as "self-extension" and children become copies of their parents; In pampering and doting, parents are willing to be "self-extension" of their children. They are children's hands and feet, and they are willing to accept their command. In the end, indulgence will cultivate "the enemy of parents."

"Indulgence will lead to no one else in the child's heart." Yuan Rongling, a psychological counselor, said, "If parents don't realize this earlier, they will eventually find that their children are also their hell." Moreover, children who grow up in doting often pretend to be very fierce. In fact, they can't escape the three common consequences brought by doting: dependence, they rely on their parents first, and then on their spouses or their children. He is a hell for his spouse and children, because all he knows is to ask his relatives to pay attention to himself, while they turn a blind eye to their feelings. Inferiority, they will find that once they leave their loved ones, they are nothing, so they will have a serious inferiority complex. But they are used to arrogance and can't accept this inferiority complex, so they will pass it on to others and hurt others more. Self-willed and spoiled by their parents, they develop selfish egoism, which leads to their serious lack of sympathy. "I want it now" has become their habit.

Two years old is the key period.

Children are narcissistic, they think they are the center of the world, and children need to break this natural narcissism in self-exploration. This exploration process mainly begins at the age of 2, and they need to understand the society and find their place in it. If children don't enter the society, their parents and relatives represent the society. Parents blindly dote on their children and indulge all their desires and demands, that is, they tell their children that all their desires are reasonable, that society should satisfy them, and that his narcissism is right. In the long run, children's natural narcissism will not encounter real setbacks. With this self-centered formula in mind, it is difficult to get out.

Some children are lucky. After leaving my parents, I suffered setbacks and frustrations in kindergarten or primary school, gained valuable life experience, knew my own position, and knew that I should adapt to the environment rather than the environment. Others are not so lucky. They went on smoothly and expanded themselves indefinitely. However, when they entered the real society, their egoism was hit hard, and the social environment ruthlessly destroyed his solidified narcissistic psychological set. At this time, he will rely on himself to compete with the society, and he will only face disaster.

Psychologists point out that others will not spoil your children, and parents should first realize this. In the process of children's exploration, frustration is a necessary experience and an inevitable experience. "When you are 0-2 years old, you won't make big mistakes in how to meet your child's needs, but from the age of two, parents should respect their children's exploration on the one hand, and let their children learn to respect others on the other hand, so that he can realize that the world doesn't revolve around him, and others are as important as him. He should love himself, but he should also love others.