Topic: On the influence of parental rearing patterns on children's social development.

Family is the cradle of children's life, the first place for children to receive education, and parents are also their first teachers. In family education, parental rearing patterns run through the whole process of children's growth and development, and also affect the development of children's social behavior, social emotion and social cognition. Therefore, it is particularly important for parents to create a good family atmosphere for their children, adopt scientific and reasonable parenting styles, respect their self-esteem and self-confidence, and adjust and improve their parenting styles in time according to the characteristics of their physical and mental development.

Keywords: children's growth, parental rearing, family, children's sociality, influence

With the development of society, family, kindergarten and society are the three main factors that affect the success or failure of children's social development. Family is the first social environment in which children live. Parental rearing patterns and family structure directly or indirectly affect children's social development, among which parental rearing patterns are particularly important. At present, parents pay more and more attention to children's education, but this kind of attention is more on children's intelligence and physical health, but not enough attention to children's personality development and social development. Children's all-round development mainly includes physical, cognitive and social development. Children's social development has a far-reaching impact on children, and parents need to establish a correct concept of educational development. Therefore, starting from the significance of parental rearing patterns to children's social development, this paper analyzes different parental rearing patterns and their influence on children's social development in turn, and finally analyzes the good strategies for establishing family rearing patterns.

First, the significance of parental rearing patterns to children's social development

Childhood is an important period for children's social development. As the saying goes, children like to imitate their parents. When parents lead by example, children will promote the development of their prosocial behavior in the process of imitation, thus increasing their prosocial behavior. Children's experiences and experiences in this period, as well as their social development on this basis, will affect their lives. Whether they can adapt to the society, handle all kinds of interpersonal relationships and shoulder their due social responsibilities in the future depends on their life experience and education during this period. Parental rearing patterns reflect parents' attitudes towards their children and their educational concepts.

Second, parents' different parenting styles and their influence on children's social development;

Parenting style: Parenting style refers to a behavioral tendency shown by parents in their daily life of educating and raising their children. It is a summary of the characteristics of parents' various parenting behaviors, and a synthesis of parents' parenting concepts, parenting behaviors and their emotional expression to children. This combination is relatively stable and does not change with the change of the situation. It reflects the essence of personal communication.

Children's sociality: in the process of interaction with social environment, children master social norms to form social skills, learn the role of social education, acquire social needs, attitudes and values, develop social behaviors, interact with people with unique social personality, adapt to the surrounding environment, and develop from natural people to social people.

Different parenting attitudes and educational methods have different effects on children's social development in the future. Good family education is beneficial to children's social development, while bad family education hinders children's social development to some extent.

Thirdly, the influence of different parenting styles on children's social development;

(1) Absolute authority: This kind of parents are very strict with their children and have very strict control over them. Emotionally, they tend to reject and ignore their children and often show negative emotional reactions to them; Require children to unconditionally abide by relevant rules, without giving any explanation, and rarely consider their own wishes and requirements; Even take severe punishment measures for children who violate the rules. Children in this way often show self-confidence and withdrawal in daily life and peer interaction. At the same time, children who grow up like this will also have problems such as lack of initiative, cowardice and unsociable communication. It will have an impact on future work and life.

(2) Spoiling: This kind of parents are full of love and expectation for their children, but forget the task of socialization of their children, and rarely put forward any requirements or exert any control over their children. Full of positive feelings for children; Lack of control over children; There is no requirement for children; Children who violate the requirements often adopt an attitude of neglect and acceptance, and rarely get angry, reprimand or correct the children. This is an education in which parents overindulge their children and indulge blindly. This kind of upbringing leads to the distortion of children's behavior and personality, which makes children form strong impulsive and aggressive psychological behaviors, lack independence and sense of responsibility, be lazy, selfish, willful, coquetry and do whatever they want, and form a series of behavior habits and personality characteristics that are not suitable for social requirements.

(3) Ignoring indifference: This kind of parents show indifference to their children's growth. They will not put forward any requirements and standards of behavior for their children, nor will they show concern for their children. Lack of loving emotion and positive reaction; Parents communicate less with their children and lack behavioral requirements and control; Lack of basic attention to children. This kind of upbringing is easy to make children form a character that lacks persistence and responsibility, ignores their inner spiritual needs, and easily makes children form an unsociable and withdrawn character.

(d) Democratic authority type: This kind of parents give their children moderate care and moderate permission or restriction. They love and respect each other with their children, have full emotional exchanges and communication with them, take seriously and accept their opinions and ideas, encourage their independence and establish their personal characteristics. This kind of education is easy to make children form self-confidence, extroversion, optimism, cheerfulness, independence, tolerance and innovation.

Fourth, seek suitable parenting methods to promote children's social development.

(A) the combination of restriction and tolerance

Tolerance has a positive effect on children's socialization. Children from tolerant families are active, eager for knowledge, curious and creative, and often take the lead in the group.

Fourth, seek suitable parenting methods to promote children's social development.

(A) the combination of restriction and tolerance

Tolerance has a positive effect on children's socialization. Children in tolerant families are active, curious, creative, often in a leading position in the group and have clear love and hate behaviors. Children who grow up in a restricted family environment show the opposite characteristics: lack of curiosity, creativity and sense of humor. However, restrictions in different family environments have different effects on children's socialization. One is "strict and reasonable restrictions" and the other is "punitive restrictions". The restrictions in authoritative families are clear and reasonable. It gives children proper freedom of behavior and rewards independence, which will promote the development of children's sense of social responsibility, sense of accomplishment, self-esteem, language ability and independence. However, the restrictions of arbitrary families are often aimless, unreasonable or physically coercive, which will have the opposite result on children's socialization. Parents should combine restraint and tolerance in the upbringing of their children, so as to promote the sound and rapid social development of their children.

(2) Love moderately, be strict and dignified.

No parents don't love their children. However, many parents love their children, which hinders their development and even damages their physical and mental health. In a democratic and authoritative family, parents reward and punish their children to some extent. However, in a indulgent family upbringing, parents spoil their children, which hinders their development and even damages their physical and mental health.

1. Material over-satisfaction. Basically, it is what children want, fearing that children will be wronged. In this way, children are used to enjoying their success and pampering themselves. They don't know the hardships of life, don't know thrift, and don't want to pay. Do not respect the work of parents and others, fear hard work, lack confidence and courage to face social life and overcome difficulties.

2. Excessive accommodation in behavior. I always think that trees are natural and straight. As long as the academic performance goes up, everything else can be sloppy. This is easy to form a child's stubborn and self-centered bad character, which encourages the child's "domineering" and makes the child only selfish, lacking the spirit of unity and cooperation, lacking lofty ideals and a strong sense of responsibility and mission, especially lacking the spirit of dedication to the ideal cause.

3. Too much care in life. Children's food, clothing, housing and even school supplies are almost completely replaced by parents. I always think that this can help children eliminate interference and let them have more time and energy to devote to their studies. As everyone knows, this not only encourages children's dependence psychology, but also narrows the space for children to explore independently, reduces the opportunities for children to exercise themselves and improve themselves, weakens their sense of independence, and suppresses their innovative and innovative nature. Caring for children sincerely is not only a matter of course, but also a prerequisite for effective family education. However, for the healthy growth and success of children, parents must pay attention to the way and scale of love, grasp the scale of requirements, care for, respect and trust their children in the process of heart-to-heart communication and emotional blending, and at the same time, guide, strictly demand and earnestly urge them in time.

(3) Let children feel warm

Warmth is recognized as extremely important in family education and plays an extremely important role in children's socialization. Paying attention to warm upbringing in a democratic and authoritative family can make children have high self-esteem. However, in an indifferent family, parents are indifferent to their children's growth. They don't make any demands on their children, they don't set standards of behavior, and they don't show concern for their children. Some just provide accommodation. Parents should always give their children warmth, because children in a warm atmosphere often show sympathy and help to people in trouble and show more altruistic behavior.

(d) lead by example.

Children's world outlook has not yet been formed, and their imitation ability is very strong. Every move, word and deed of parents will become an example for children to learn and may affect their life. There is an old saying in China: "Teaching by example is more important than teaching by words." It is very suitable for children's emotional education. Therefore, parents should take the lead in setting an example and ask their children to do what they should do and set a good example for their children.

1. Nothing is trivial at home, and everything is instructive. First of all, parents should understand, respect, encourage and help each other, strive to create a friendly, harmonious, democratic and warm family atmosphere, guide children to understand their parents' good intentions, respect their parents' hard work, and avoid blaming and complaining each other; Secondly, don't judge others in front of children, especially their classmates, parents or teachers, but guide children to think from each other's point of view and learn to be tolerant, especially when children are in conflict or friction with others.

Everything happens for a reason, and everything happens for a reason. Parents should correctly handle the relationship between work, entertainment and children's education, always observe their children's words and deeds, and truly regard children's education as the obligation, responsibility and daily work of both husband and wife rather than the seasoning of life, let alone the object of emotional venting. While caring and caring for children, we should pay attention to active guidance in combination with daily life and strive to promote the healthy and happy growth of children.

Children's development is inseparable from the family, which is the first place for children, and the family environment plays an indispensable role in children's growth. Family education is the starting point and basic point of educating people, and it is an important way to form a good parenting education effect. Through the above exploration, we can find that the democratic and authoritative parenting style is conducive to promoting the development of children's family relations, partnerships and prosocial behaviors, and can help children to deal with their peers and other members of society, which is very important for children's future development and can improve and alleviate children's aggressive behaviors. It can better meet the requirements of the times and meet the needs of social development. Therefore, I hope parents can pay attention to the characteristics of children's social development and find suitable parenting methods according to their different characteristics, so that children can make continuous progress in their future development.

References:

1 d, Family Education for Preschool Children, Science Press, 2007.

2 Li Huanwen, Social Education for Preschool Children, Beijing Normal University Press, 20 16

3 Cao, Children's Social Development and Education, Hunan Normal University Press, 200 1

4 Zhang Wenxin, children's social development, Beijing Normal University