Abstract: In any social organization, family has the greatest influence on children's socialization. Family structure, family function, family history inheritance, family racial and ethnic background, family religious belief, family time and geographical environment, family economic situation, family cultural content, family interpersonal relationship, parents' comprehensive quality, parents' parenting attitude, educational ability and educational methods are all of great significance to the formation of children's psychological behavior and even the shaping of their personality. It can be said that it is the confusion effect of the above factors that has left a strong color in the process of children's socialization. However, there are a large number of single-parent families in social organizations, which have become the root of many children's imperfect and even distorted personality psychology because of the incomplete family structure or the obstacle of family education function. It is of great practical significance to explore the characteristics and laws of children's psychological behavior in the process of parent-child interaction in this kind of family.

? Paper Keywords: single-parent family, psychological behavior, children's socialization process, social organization, historical inheritance, religious belief, regional environment

First, the structural model and functional characteristics of single-parent families

In reality, there are at least four types of family structure: nuclear family, main family, joint family and single-parent family. Single-parent families are mostly evolved from nuclear families (that is, families composed of husbands, wives and their biological or adopted children) and main families. Divorce, widowhood, one party being reeducated through labor, and being abandoned by one party after giving birth out of wedlock will all produce a series of single-parent families. In recent years, especially due to the increase of divorce rate, abnormal mortality rate and crime rate, the proportion of single-parent families in family structure types is on the rise. Single-parent family may be one of the more models in all family structures. This paper only discusses the mode of "born of divorce" in single-parent families.

Sociological research shows that families mainly bear two responsibilities for their children: one is to provide a safe and healthy environment for their children to grow up and protect them from adverse effects; Second, we should be prepared for children to have proper behavior and accept specific social culture after entering the society. These are also two essential functions of the family. Generally speaking, there are few obstacles to the exertion of these two functions of the nuclear family, such as "family pride, mutual support among family members, cohesion, adaptability, willingness to communicate, values with consistent goals and core, and pleasant family atmosphere". However, most single-parent families are dysfunctional, and it is difficult for them to provide a safe, supportive and interdependent growth environment for their children. They may not meet children's basic material needs, but they certainly can't meet children's requirements for healthy ideological growth and adequate spiritual comfort. Tolstoy famously said, "All happy families are similar, and each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." Phenomenologically, the nuclear family belonging to the "typical family" is complete and happy, while the single-parent family belonging to the "special family" is incomplete and unfortunate. In fact, the total source of all the misfortunes of single-parent families is the damage and obstacle of family function. It is difficult to list the negative effects such a family brings to children, but the following characteristics are the same: "distrust, lack of self-confidence, lack of happiness and strong sense of inferiority." According to Freud's theory, "personality development is mainly the product of childhood experience". We can infer that the information received by the family where the child lives will have a negative impact on him.

Second, the general characteristics of children's psychological behavior in single-parent families

1. Short-term effects before and after divorce

Some single-parent families first went through the stage of conflict families before they were formed. The long-term differences, hostility and quarrels between parents have caused a cold family atmosphere, especially the negative emotions of parents are projected on children, which brings insecurity and negative emotional experience to children's young minds and is prone to psychological and pathological symptoms in later life. Shi Ronghua, a social psychologist, believes that "due to frequent emotional conflicts between parents, children will have strong emotional fluctuations, prone to emotional confusion, reduce their social adaptability, and increase the possibility of children suffering from schizophrenia"; Parents' irreconcilable attitudes and views on things are likely to internalize into children's bad cognitive patterns, thus forming neurotic personality and closed introverted psychology, making children feel painful, sensitive, anxious and depressed, and it is difficult to build trust. The negative impact of the emotional conflict stage of parents before divorce on children's psychology is far greater than the traumatic impact of entering the single-parent stage after divorce. American psychiatrist Despat also said: It is not divorce that has a variety of effects on children, but the disharmony between husband and wife before divorce has a great impact on children, and divorce is only the result of this disharmony. It is also found that families with serious family conflicts but no divorce have more serious adverse effects on their children than single-parent families, and children show greater aggression and more problems. "Parents' divorce will inevitably bring misfortune to their children, but if they live in a family with a very unhappy marriage, their children will be hurt more emotionally. "

Foreign studies show that the negative impact of parents' divorce on children generally lasts 18 months, and then the children's mood gradually tends to calm down. However, during this period, children are extremely painful and have to go through a process of "rejection, anger, disappointment, tolerance and obedience". During the period after parents' divorce, children generally feel guilty (parents' divorce is their responsibility), inferiority, sensitivity, loneliness, disharmony with others, and negative psychology such as loss, abandonment, anxiety and insecurity, which will affect their future feelings and work relationship; Personality, he will be withdrawn, stubborn, quiet, stubborn and emotionally unstable; Limited language cognitive ability and poor social adaptability; In behavior, most of them are poor academic performance, hyperactivity, lying, stealing, truancy, aggression, antisocial, alcoholism, and running away from home. Juvenile delinquency and suicide are also significantly higher than those of their peers in a complete family. Although the children are raised by a single parent after divorce, the husband and wife often maintain some kind of broken connection. If the hostility between some divorced couples still exists, fighting, abuse and sarcasm will not only cause children's anxiety and anger, but also become an example for children to follow.

2. Long-term effects after divorce (mainly caused by parenting style)

After entering the stable single-parent family stage, the way of educating children will gradually play a more and more obvious role in the development of children's psychological behavior. Single-parent families may inherit the parenting style before the family broke up, or they may interrupt the original parenting style and change. But in any case, there are no four types analyzed by Laura E Baker: authoritative, authoritarian, laissez-faire and indifferent. Generally speaking, single-parent families who adopt the "authoritative" parenting style put forward reasonable requirements and restrictions for their children, and asked them to abide by them, show more enthusiasm and enthusiasm for their children, try their best to soothe their mental trauma, and rarely treat their children rudely and arbitrarily; The communication density between parents and children has increased, and once children have behavioral deviations, they will be strictly disciplined. In this way, it is easy for children to gradually return to a lively and happy state from gloomy emotions, and their inferiority complex is weakened, their self-esteem is enhanced, and their self-control ability is also developed. Single-parent families that adopt the "authoritarian" parenting style also put forward corresponding requirements for their children, but attach great importance to their obedience. When children resist, they don't listen to their opinions patiently and create a democratic atmosphere for them to express their views, but hope that children will be disciplined by adults without reservation, otherwise they will be forced to do it or impose punishment, which completely suppresses their self-expression and independent consciousness. Children continue to be in an emotional state of anxiety, loneliness and depression caused by conflicts before divorce, and tend to be aggressive, irresponsible and have poor academic performance, and their personality may become impulsive and stubborn, so it is difficult for parents to educate them strictly, reasonably and coherently. Single parents mainly adopt a "laissez-faire" parenting style, "regard children as flowers", do not set standards and requirements for their children's behavior, discipline their children, and let them make many decisions by themselves, regardless of whether they have the ability to make decisions, and their behavior is arbitrary and basically unconstrained; When the family faces severe economic pressure, parents will feel guilty when they feel that they cannot provide superior material living conditions and supportive learning environment for their children. This kind of guilt makes parents unwilling to stimulate their children emotionally, so they don't strictly demand discipline at home and adopt the strategy of "overprotection" to achieve a stable and harmonious parent-child relationship. As a result of this upbringing, children become very immature. When they encounter events that conflict with expectations, it is difficult for them to control their impulses, resist, be willful, refuse to listen to other people's opinions, and show rebellious behavior. They may be too demanding of their parents, or too dependent on their parents and lack perseverance in doing things. The "indifferent" parenting style is common in some single-parent families: parents generally don't care about their children's growth, and even refuse to deny it in attitude. Only when they meet their minimum food and clothing needs, will they no longer do their duty wholeheartedly; Adults usually face a heavy burden of life, so that they have little time and energy to accompany their children, ignoring their spiritual and psychological needs. Children lose their complete fatherly love or maternal love, can't get normal care from single parents, and it is easy to develop stronger attachment behavior. Because single parents are not interested in educating their children, they usually provide less stimulation to their children (such as poor verbal communication skills), which is easy to cause defects in their cognitive, game, emotional and social communication skills, and may delay and dampen their intellectual development; Because children's behavior is less constrained and revised, children are prone to deviant behavior, have strong aggression against others, play truant and run away from home.