According to the statistics of an authoritative investigation institution in China, 87% and 9% of college students have been in love during their school days, and 94% and 6% in coastal areas such as Guangdong, Fujian and Zhejiang respectively. What is this concept!
So how do college students view love? What do you think of new things in the new period? With these questions, let me listen to the voices of college students with you.
1. Types of love and success index. What causes the love wind to spread all over the university campus? In other words, what is the motivation of college students to fall in love? The survey shows that contemporary college students can fall in love in the following five ways:
Like-minded type, also known as ideal type or career type, is based on the same ideal, belief and career. In order to maintain the development of love and not disappoint each other, both sides often demand more from themselves and study and work harder. According to the survey, this type of love accounts for about 17%, but the success rate is very high, and often they can walk out of the campus hand in hand after graduation.
Love is congenial, and it can also be called sensibility. This type of love is mainly based on the same hobbies. Generally speaking, they are single-minded, respect each other, love each other and share weal and woe. They are often seen walking together in pairs on campus to discuss the joys and sorrows of life. This kind of love is about 19%, and the success rate is relatively high, reaching 86%. Young college students who try to enter the university campus gradually have the desire to approach the opposite sex and pursue love because of their physical maturity. In addition, public opinion, especially the mass media's exaggeration of men and women's affairs, marriage and love, triggered their strong sexual experience and drove them to have a mysterious feeling of "heterosexual communication". In addition, the free and relaxed objective conditions of the university make them have the need and behavior to understand and try love. Due to the lack of a correct view of love, experimental college students are easily rejected by the other party, resulting in "unrequited love" or pessimism, which affects their studies. Even if they occasionally attract each other's attention, they often end in failure, because they lack emotional communication and have no common hobbies and life goals. This kind of love accounts for more than 37%, but in the end there are not many people together, often only about 20% ~ 30%.
Compensatory, some college students feel empty, lonely and depressed because of the boring study in college and the lack of cultural activities in classes and schools, so they seek love to make up for it. This kind of college students, because they are inseparable, are unwilling to participate in group activities and are easily discussed and dissatisfied by their classmates. Because the basis of his love is only the compensation of spiritual emptiness, the relationship is easy to break up after graduation. This proportion is very small, only about 15%, and the success rate is also very low.
Vanity type, some college students, especially male college students, think that falling in love, having friends, or being pursued by the opposite sex are all capable, and vice versa. Under this kind of psychological pressure, some people are eager to find so-called "bosom friends" among their classmates out of vanity. Love with strong vanity, because it only pursues temporary emotional satisfaction and happiness, lacks a clear love foundation and goal, and is easy to collapse and go astray. This type of college students are even more reluctant to make progress in their studies, with poor self-control and poor academic performance. It can be said that this kind of psychological love has the lowest success rate, because they are only for a certain purpose, so it is difficult to succeed!
To sum up, these five kinds of love account for more than 95% of college students' love, but their success rate is often less than 35%, which shows that the failure of college students' love is as easy to burst as a bubble!
Second, the confusion of college students-adult topic
Let's look at the following two pieces of information:
Related information 1: "Sexual contact during college" Kissing: 39.5% for boys and 45.5% for girls; 25.6% for boys and 28.9% for girls; 10.9% boys, 8.4% girls —— Excerpted from the national survey of heterosexual communication among college students hosted by the famous sexologist Professor Pan Suiming.
Related data 2: The survey results of adolescent sexual health in China are worrying. China Social Workers' Association, Jinglun Family Science Center and other units have learned from the survey of college students and middle school students in Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou that today's teenagers are far more "avant-garde" than their parents. Among them, only 28.8% people agree that "love is single-minded, and there can only be one true love object in a lifetime", only 20% people think that modern marriage should be "growing old together", and more than 30% people agree to fall in love with people who already have lovers. In this respect, girls seem to be more open than boys. More than 45% people have a positive attitude towards premarital sex, and 34% of them think that "it can consolidate love". Another survey from Beijing can better prove the boldness of young people: among the 3,034 young people who received premarital check-ups, 46% of young men and 45% of young women admitted to having premarital sex, which worried the STD and AIDS prevention experts in China.
Many surveys show that the sexual maturity of teenagers in China tends to be earlier than the 1950s and 1960s. The forward tilt of sexual maturity brings about the early appearance of sexual psychology. Cognitive psychology believes that the information about sex has greatly increased, and people's sexual concepts have also changed greatly. All these frequently stimulate teenagers' brains and gonads, promote the germination of sexual physiology early, and inevitably promote the development of sexual psychology. However, the development of social productive forces and the increasing complexity of social life have delayed the maturity of teenagers' social psychology. Under the condition of immature social psychology, they lack scientific understanding of physical development, and their sexual psychology germinates because of physical development, which is easy to fall into blindness.
Therefore, teenagers, especially college students, have contradictory psychology about sex. On the one hand, physical maturity makes them get involved in sex prematurely; On the other hand, psychological immaturity makes them confused about sex. Faced with this situation, many colleges and universities have taken some measures to educate college students about sex. But it has little effect, because the school has taken a cautious approach and dare not overemphasize sex education.
Therefore, many teenagers, especially boys and girls in love, are prone to confusion, and there will be two bad tendencies: First, driven by sexual instinct and psychology, out of ignorance and curiosity, they have sexual experiences and sexual attempts prematurely. At the beginning of adolescent sexual intercourse, two situations can occur. First, influenced by the feudal concept of chastity, they thought they were unfaithful and unclean, and since then they have been burdened with heavy regrets, unable to lift their heads or can be broken. Second, sexual desire starts prematurely, which leads to a violent increase in sexual desire and sexual excitement and falls into a state of pursuing sexual pleasure. This is the way for some teenagers to go from sexual experience to sexual crime. Sexual crimes can easily form dynamic stereotypes and become stubborn sexual habits, which are difficult to change.
The maturity of human sexual psychology depends on the maturity of sexual physiology, and the maturity of sexual physiology does not mean the maturity of sexual psychology. The sign of sexual psychological maturity is that the occurrence of sexual behavior is based on sex, and it is the combination of spirit and body, sex and love. Therefore, the maturity of sexual psychology is closely related to the maturity of social psychology. In our society, human sexual behavior is not only natural, but also social and spiritual. What kind of person you have sex with and how to behave in sexual behavior all reflect a person's sense of society, responsibility and personality characteristics. The maturity of sexual psychology needs a process, which requires constant adjustment and adaptation between the two sexes, especially the constant sublimation of emotions, in order to achieve a perfect state.
Therefore, teenagers should be more cautious when facing this problem, and college students should also get some inspiration from it. How to face this problem, I believe many college students should consider it! ! !
China scholars' research on sexual psychology is still in its infancy, and the number is relatively small. Whether sexual psychology is healthy or not, its importance to people's sexual behavior is rarely recognized. Therefore, even some schools with good adolescent sex education are limited to the education of middle school students' physical health knowledge, and rarely involve sexual psychological problems. However, sexual psychological education is indispensable for shaping girls' healthy personality. Education in this field should be constantly innovated and developed step by step.
Third, the feelings of the new era-online love
Let's first define online dating: the so-called online dating is the process of getting to know friends of the opposite sex through online chatting, and generating feelings in further conversations, and gradually coming together with the deepening of online chatting. Of course, this definition has not been verified, so we can't fully explain online dating now, but since it has been put forward, it is representative to some extent, so there is no doubt.
The most obvious feature of contemporary college students is their ability to accept new things and keep up with the trend, so online dating has naturally become one of the trends pursued by college students. An online survey shows that 78% of college students often surf the Internet, and 56% of them have played online dating, but the success rate is very low, almost close to "despair", which shows that the possibility of online dating success is very small.
Now let's take a look at the mentality of online lovers. Many people live a very empty life in college. When they are empty, they will inevitably find something exciting to do, and online dating just caters to this mentality and has become one of the ways for many college students to pass the time. It can be said that the pursuit of excitement is one of the motives of college students' online love. Secondly, online dating doesn't have to give people as much pressure as in real life. For example, there are so many men and women on the Internet that it doesn't matter if they fail. At most, they will find another one. Many people are talking about it on the Internet. People who have never met each other need not worry about taking such responsibility in real life, which is one of the reasons for the failure of online dating.
Why does online dating fail? Through the investigation, we can draw the following conclusions: First, in the process of online dating (see the front), both parties can only express themselves through voice and text, and get to know each other with relatively limited means. After a long time, we gradually form a so-called "impression" on each other, and this impression is only a part of a person, not the whole. For other parts that can't be expressed through the internet except this "impression", we subconsciously give each other full marks out of the nature of human perfectionism. After all, we are human beings and we have to live in reality, so the two sides met. Once the feelings cultivated through the network are brought into reality, things beyond the intersection of reality and the network, that is, the above-mentioned parts that cannot be expressed through the network, will inevitably appear. This means that both sides are like facing a stranger. Because no one is perfect, we gave each other full marks in the network, but after meeting, we found that he or she was not like this and was far from full marks, so both sides were disappointed, so it was inevitable to break up.
Secondly, in the final analysis, where is the failure? 1, I don't realize that the distance between the network and reality is far away, I'm not prepared psychologically, and I'm often too eager for success. I often meet in a chat room after just a few hours, and I feel very speculative; Both sides give up too easily. When we are disappointed, we should adjust our mentality, think about each other's good, and think about what attracted you in the first place. Don't give up easily at this time. We can continue to contact each other in two ways: network and reality, and try to understand each other in reality, because network and reality.