First, achievement motivation
Men and women live in the same world and look at the same world, but their achievement orientations are quite different. The main differences are as follows: men like to do things and like to deal with things; Women like to communicate and deal with people.
As we analyzed in the first section of this chapter, this difference comes from the difference of brain structure between the sexes in the final analysis. The brain structure of baby girls makes them react to people and faces. They like to look into people's eyes. The contact time with adult eyes is 2~3 times longer than that with baby boys. Boys' brains respond to objects and their shapes. They like to watch moving toys and irregular objects. This tendency has been continuously strengthened in infancy, adolescence and adolescence, and gradually formed the psychological characteristics of achievement between the two sexes, that is, men are interested in the way things work, while women are interested in the relationship between people.
Second, psychological needs.
The psychological needs of men and women are different. In order to have better communication with the opposite sex in love and develop a happy and harmonious love relationship, it is very necessary to have a deep understanding of the psychological needs of both men and women.
Generally speaking, most women will meet their psychological needs by getting along well with others and having close contacts. We can easily see that in the small group of women, they get along well with each other, and there is no obvious leader between them. Chatting is an important way for them to maintain their relationship. Every woman can share her secrets with her close friends. If someone tries to exert control over others in the group, they usually feel bored and refuse. As for the content of chatting, women often talk about who they like, how they behave, who they are at odds with, and interpersonal relationships at work, which are the main forms for small groups to develop internal relations. This kind of conversation will make women especially enjoy it, and feel that they have found their soul mate and are psychologically satisfied to a great extent.
Compared with women, the satisfaction of men's psychological needs comes not from interpersonal relationships, but from the control of things. Men like to talk about activities, such as who is doing what, who is good at what or how something works. Specifically, men are happy to talk about sports, work, news, technology, cars and places they have been. They don't pay much attention to the relationship between people. Men find pleasure and satisfaction in the process of talking about things. Many times, men are not only happy in these confidences, but also an effective way to relieve their psychological pressure. Therefore, men like to gather in restaurants, restaurants and clubs to talk about work and business.
Third, emotional response.
Emotion is an individual's experience of the relationship between objective things and personal needs, which has many different internal and external manifestations. Many people abroad have conducted in-depth research on the characteristics and differences of emotional reactions between men and women. Sandra Williamson, a Canadian scientist, once did an experiment to test the position of emotional processing in the brain. The results show that the part of male emotional processing is in the right brain, which only accounts for a small part of the brain, so it will not affect other functions when making emotional reactions. For example, when quarreling with people, men can be very logical (the function of the left brain), or they can propose a solution to the same problem (the function of the right forebrain), and there is no obvious emotional expression. In daily observation, we can also see that when men encounter unpleasant things, they are generally not easy to lose control of their emotions. Men don't cry as easily as women. They evolved in the direction of not crying, especially in public. Of course, men cry when they are extremely sad to vent their unbearable emotions, but this will only happen when the emotional area of his right brain is not busy with other things.
Compared with men, women's brain has a larger area to process emotions, whether it is the left brain or the right brain. Women have a keen sense and can feel the details of information better than men, so the motivation to promote their emotional changes also increases. When women are excited, they will show a strong emotional tendency, which will be revealed from facial expressions, body movements, ways of speaking and so on. As we all know, women are particularly fond of crying. It seems that crying is the most direct and enjoyable way for them to express their feelings and vent their emotions. When in a bad mood, women are most likely to get emotional, lose their temper and even cry loudly, and also use some adjectives to express their inner feelings. At this time, the local people especially hope that someone can give them comfort and care and listen to their voices. For women's emotional reactions, men often feel that they are overreacting, but things are not that serious. Women take venting their emotions as a way to relieve them. In this way, they can quickly restore their mood and make themselves feel better. When a man sees a woman crying, his explanation for crying is "help me, come and help me solve the problem", so he thinks that he must help her find a solution to the problem, otherwise he will feel incompetent. If women don't stop crying, men will feel very depressed. They are afraid of women who are too emotional.