Differences between Chinese and Western Marriage Customs
abstract
There are many procedures for marriage customs in China. The Book of Rites, which records the earliest wedding ceremony, says that marriage includes six kinds of etiquette, namely, proposing marriage, asking names, seeking wealth, giving betrothal gifts, discussing the wedding date and paying homage. In western marriage, there are four procedures. They are proposing marriage, changing surname, choosing a date and holding a wedding. There are many differences between the two marriage customs due to the differences in religion, cultural origin, marriage concept and geographical location. In China's marriage customs, the matchmaker plays a role almost all the time, young people have no choice, and women and men are in an unequal position. In contrast, in western marriage customs, priests play a role, and young people have the legal right to choose their marriage partners, and men and women are equal. The two sides also have something in common. They have lasted for thousands of years. However, in recent years (especially after the founding of modern China), people tend to abandon some details and advocate simplifying the wedding procedure and ceremony.
key word
Marriage customs; Difference; reason
abstract
There are many ceremonies in China's wedding customs. "There are six ceremonies in marriage, namely, accepting the ceremony, asking the name, accepting the ceremony, inviting the party, and welcoming the relatives," said Li, the earliest record of wedding customs. In western countries, there are four main procedures, namely, suggestion, changing one's surname, choosing a date and holding a wedding. Due to the differences in religion, cultural roots, marriage concepts and geographical environment, there are differences in marriage customs between China and the West to some extent. In China's marriage customs, the matchmaker plays a decisive role, while young men and women as marriage parties have no freedom and power to choose, and the inequality between men and women in marriage also occurs frequently. In the west, the priest plays a role in marriage, and young men and women have the legal right to choose their husbands or wives. Of course, there are similarities between Chinese and western wedding customs. They have existed for thousands of years. In recent years (especially after the founding of New China), marriages combining Chinese and Western cultures have appeared frequently.
key word
Marriage customs; Difference; cause
introduce
Marriage is formed in the long-term historical evolution of a nation's marriage customs. It is the regularity of this activity that restricts people's marriage and the legitimacy of marriage. The binding force of marriage customs does not depend on laws or scientific tests, but on the power of habits, traditional culture and national psychology. In the development of human history, the marriage and family system has gone through different development processes. Humans have experienced group marriage, dual marriage system and individual marriage system (monogamy). As the combination of a man and a woman and the formation stage of a family, marriage includes not only marriage, but also the preparation stage of marriage and the performance stage after the celebration. It runs through the whole process of life. As a symbol of a nation and cultural development, these customs play a very important role in ethnic studies and human history. China is an ancient civilization with a long history and many customs. Among so many customs, there is a special marriage custom. This custom has experienced a long development process from a simple wedding in ancient times to a complicated ceremony later, from a feudal marriage custom to a modern free marriage custom. In these processes, people's thoughts are progressive, although we can't say that their thoughts have reached the highest level of human thought in the world at any time, because in many places, there are still settled thoughts in many people's minds, and they may still exist for a long time. However, at a certain stage of the continuous development of ideas, they reached the top of human thought. Greek civilization is the foundation of western culture. Britain plays an important role in western history and culture, and of course there are marriage customs. Compared with the two, there are many differences in rights and freedoms, and there are many reasons for these differences, such as cultural reasons and geographical reasons. First, the marriage customs in China
Like other folk customs, marriage customs have the same development and evolution process. In the early days of mankind, human relations still carried such irregular relations as those in the animal world for a long time. There is no marriage at all. If someone says that there is only "arbitrary marriage" in China, marriage has gone through a long time. As the most solemn etiquette, it has always been highly valued. In order to control marriage, family and the whole society, since the Zhou Dynasty, China's marriage should follow six procedures, namely, the so-called "Six Rites" and later, during the Tang and Ming Dynasties in China, marriage also followed the "Six Rites". With the passage of time, although many wedding customs have undergone various changes, the "six rituals" as a basic model have not changed much. It is still an indispensable core of marriage customs. Today, marriage has undergone great changes, but in many places, traditional marriage customs are still preserved.
In feudal society, marriage is not determined by the love of young people, but by the wishes of their parents. Only under the introduction of the matchmaker, when the parents think that the conditions of the two families are similar and can be matched, the marriage procedure will be carried out. Conditions that should be considered include wealth and social status. If a boy's family is rich or an official family, his parents will never allow him to marry a girl from a poor family. What is crucial to the marriage process is the recognized "three letters and six manners". These three letters are engagement letter, gift letter with gift list and wedding letter used by the groom when he meets the bride at the bride's house. The Book of Rites records the earliest wedding ceremony. It says that marriage usually includes six necessary procedures, namely, proposing marriage, asking names, asking about wealth, giving a bride price to a girl's home, discussing the wedding date and meeting the bride. Therefore, this is very important. In a common expression, it is to propose to another family on behalf of a son or daughter. If parents think that this girl can be a daughter-in-law in the past, they will ask the matchmaker to give gifts to keep their son and the girl together. If the girl's parents agree to this marriage, they will accept gifts. People usually use a goose when giving gifts. Because geese can fly to the south or north according to the season, they will never change this, which means that women will be punctual, and because when geese fly, they line up, and when they stop, they line up, which means that women should abide by the marriage rules and make arrangements in order not to let a person violate it.
B. Asking the name aims to ask the girl's name and pray. In ancient times, a girl's name was not known to others until she reached the age of marriage. First of all, you must have a matchmaker and inform the man's family through a business card. And the man's family will finally receive a receipt for postal remittance. It can be seen that "asking the name" not only means that the man's family wants to know the girl's name, but also writes down the woman's birthday and eight characters (four pairs represent the time, date, month and year of a person's birth, and each pair consists of a heavenly stem and a earthly branch for fortune telling). If the birthday and horoscope don't hurt the man, the man's family will finally receive a remittance receipt. Sometimes the woman's parents will also write down the official positions of her great-grandfather, grandfather and father and the dowry that can be provided. Interestingly, in this process, the matchmaker plays a role, not the man's family or the woman's family. The matchmaker is also important in other programs. In the traditional marriage in China, people believe that "the parents' orders are the words of the matchmaker". So in the past, many marriages were arranged by parents. Matchmaker's words are the effective basis of marriage in Tang Dynasty. Today has been simplified. Many marriages don't need this process.
C. After asking the name, the groom got the woman's birthday and eight characters, so they went to consult a fortune teller, which is called "seeking happiness". It includes two aspects. The first is to consult women's virtues. According to Confucian ethics, the ancients believed that women's virtues were the most important in the gospel of "three obedience", namely, obedience to father before marriage, obedience to husband after marriage, obedience to son after husband's death, and women's "four virtues", namely, morality, decent words, modest attitude and hard work. Zhong Lichun, the wife of Zhuge Liang (Zhuge Liang was a politician and strategist in the Three Kingdoms period and now a symbol of wisdom in China folklore), is famous for her ugliness, wisdom and noble female virtues. Men in ancient times always had many wives. In order to consolidate and consolidate the family, people attach great importance to the virtues of women. So there is a saying that "marrying a wife is a virtue, and concubinage is a marriage appearance". The other is to consult good and bad luck. If they are not suitable according to birthdates, and the woman will hurt the man, the result is that the marriage will not be held and will be cancelled. If the results are suitable for each other, and the woman will make the man rich, the man will inform the woman through the matchmaker, and send a bride price and exchange cards. Therefore, the wedding is actually decided.
D. The Book of Rites written by scholars in the Han Dynasty holds that giving a bride price to a girl's home is giving money. No gifts, no marriage. Therefore, whether or not a gift is received means that the woman agrees to get married. Its meaning includes two aspects. One is to thank the woman's parents, because their parents raised her. The other is to help the woman's family prepare the dowry.
E in the past, the groom decided on an auspicious day and sent a matchmaker to inform the woman's family. People attach great importance to the time of marriage. They usually let people read almanac or tell fortune. They like to get married in spring or autumn, because spring is the time when everything recovers, when spring goes and summer comes, which is conducive to nurturing new life; Autumn is the harvest season. After a year's work, people have enough money to hold a wedding. Today, it is also an important event. People are very concerned about this.
F. After five procedures, the wedding was finally held. In the past, the groom wore a wedding dress and rode on a horse, and guided the bride's sedan chair to marry the bride on the same day. The bride is waiting for the groom in a red cheongsam. Now, the groom wears a suit and the bride wears a wedding dress, usually sitting in the car.
to be continued