Key words: college students love, love values, healthy growth, love attitude, love motivation.
catalogue
A survey of college students' love situation.
What influence will love have on college students? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
The current situation of college students' love.
Countermeasures for college students' love-falling out-falling out-falling out-falling out-falling out.
When we first entered the university, we yearned for love and thought it was beautiful. We can fall in love and find a nice person to have a simple relationship seriously. But be rational. After all, college is the last study time before we enter the society. Be sure to make good use of your study time in recent years! If you want to talk about life, it may be a bit heavy. But if two people have a good relationship, and the other person is worthy of your pursuit of life, it is not too much to talk about life, then work together to create a better life! Life is full of variables. Believe in beauty.
First, the survey of college students' love situation
Regarding the love situation of college students, I made a questionnaire survey, and randomly selected 200 students to fill in, of which 63.4% wanted to fall in love.
For the purpose of dating, 37.2% students choose to "find true love" and 26% choose to "accumulate experience"; 12.3% chose to "satisfy their vanity"; 24。 5% choose "for fun, enrich life".
53.7% students choose to help each other. * * * Progress "; 25.7% of the students chose "dating frequently and having fun".
25.8% students think that the most important prerequisite for lovers is "appearance and figure"; 52. 1% is "talent and personality"; 10.9% is "wealth and background".
72.4% of students in love will consider their future, 10.3% will definitely not, 17.3% depends.
In love, if one party proposes to break up, the other party will "love you for ten thousand years" 8.3%, "as long as you are happy" 39.4%, "it doesn't matter" 29.3%, and choose the other 23. 1%.
9.7% students "agree" with the common phenomenon that college students' love view is not serious; 65.6% is "understandable"; 24.6% "resolutely opposed".
Second, what impact will love have on college students?
There are three representative views:
First, the motivation theory holds that love can generate motivation, promote learning, cultivate emotions, enrich spiritual life and stimulate the potential of college students; For example, if you are lazy and he (she) doesn't like it, then you may change for each other. Or if you are greedy for petty gain and the other party doesn't like it, it is possible to change it for the other party. According to this newspaper, a man and a woman in love in a university unfortunately suffered from leukemia, but the girl did not leave after learning about it. She cares more about her boyfriend, regardless of social discussion, begging money from passers-by on the street alone to treat her boyfriend. It can be said that their love is positive, beautiful and touching.
The second is the resistance theory, which holds that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. During college, study is tense and time is limited, and love consumes time and energy, which hinders study and affects unity, which is not conducive to all-round development; Some students mistakenly put love in the highest position in life, pursue love first, indulge in emotional lingering, and ultimately affect their study and future. Female students in a university committed suicide by jumping into the lake because of emotional problems. Such tragedies are not uncommon in colleges and universities. This shows that the psychological quality of contemporary college students is still not high. Some college students also regard love as a fashion. They think that if universities don't fall in love, they can't keep up with the times, so whether they like it or not, it's appropriate or not. They "don't care about eternity, only care about possession", and regard love as a child's play, which will not only hurt each other, but also hurt themselves, and even cause some harm to classmates and family around them.
The third is the equilibrium theory, which holds that the advantages and disadvantages are balanced.
Third, the current situation of college students' love
The current situation of college students' love can be simply summarized as follows:
1, with a large proportion of love, openness and strong initiative. Some surveys show that in some colleges and universities, the proportion of college students' love has reached more than 60%. Some freshmen get the old face-to-face skills at the beginning of their enrollment: love is a compulsory course in universities, and they are not qualified college students without having been in love in universities. Under the influence of this kind of thought, many college students threw themselves into the torrent of love without hesitation. In love, some students have put aside their reserve and reserve, and become more and more devoted and bold. No one is watching in classrooms, canteens, playgrounds and other public places, which is boring. They euphemistically call it: love is vigorous. This kind of performance has had a bad influence on teachers and students and destroyed the good image of college students.
2. The love ratio of girls is higher than that of boys. There are three main reasons for the difference in the proportion of love between men and women: First, girls' physical and sexual psychology matures early, and they are highly dependent, and their demand for "emotional harbor" and sex is stronger than that of boys; Secondly, the absolute number of female college students is small, and the proportion of female college students is lower than that of male college students, so in the "binary" love world, female college students are always in the leading position of "demand exceeds supply". As long as they are willing, girls who are not dominant in their own conditions will also find loving bosom friends, while boys with poor quality will be relatively left out in the campus "love field". Thirdly, because of the traditional mode of choosing a spouse, girls regard school as the best time to choose a spouse. They worry that once they enter the professional society, it will be difficult to find a soul mate.
3. The love cycle is shortened and the frequency is increased. Short and fast love has become a feature of contemporary college students' love. The success rate is low, a few college students regard college love as a "test field", and "love professionals" have also appeared.
4. Diversified love motives. According to the survey, only 30% of college students fall in love with the purpose of "getting married and starting a career", more for "enriching their lives" and "getting rid of loneliness", and some for pursuing money, fame and status. They only pay attention to the emotional input and experience in the process of love, and go out of the traditional love trilogy of "communication-love-marriage", thinking that love need not be entrusted for life. As a result, a "contractual love" appeared on campus. I fell in love with each other at school and filled the psychological gap. Some people even rent a house off campus and live together, but they say goodbye to each other when they graduate. This kind of blind "lonely love" which lacks sense of responsibility and seriousness is a very dangerous game and an unacceptable attitude towards life.
Most boys take the initiative. Some super-good-looking girls were "stared at" by the senior boys who were in charge of "welcoming the new" on the day of enrollment. There are many "caring people" among senior three boys who are student cadres. They justifiably want to show concern, care and help to the "little brothers and sisters" who have just entered school, so that freshmen can generally feel the warmth of the big family. A few innocent "little sisters" sometimes feel that this big brother-like concern is becoming more and more human. When the relationship between the two sides develops along the positive cycle of "care, gratitude, double care and sincere gratitude" to the extent suitable for the other party's courtship, it is often impossible to resist the tide of feelings, so they completely give up the opportunity of observation and choice and fall in love in a hurry.
6. The love rate of liberal arts students is higher than that of science students. This is mainly due to the influence of professional nature. Liberal arts students usually have loose courses, so they can study hard to cope with exams, and falling in love can just enrich their leisure life. Science and engineering students have many experiments, heavy homework after class and tight connection of professional knowledge. They can't cope with the exam by surprise, and they are under great pressure to study, so the proportion of love is lower. Perhaps the "EQ" of liberal arts students is generally higher than that of science and engineering students.
7. Love tragedies have increased. Some college students can't handle the relationship between study and love well. Love is paramount. They are busy all day, very much in love, tired of studying, leaving early and absenteeism. They even failed many courses and failed to graduate smoothly, which delayed their bright future and made people sad. Some college students have little social experience, weak psychological endurance, high expectations and are impulsive. Once lovelorn, it often leads to love tragedy: some hurt each other; Suicide; Schizophrenia exists; Dislike the world, broken pots and broken falls.
Five, about the countermeasures of college students' love.
College teachers are actively exploring and thinking about the problem of college students' love. Through education and management, students can have a correct understanding of the problem of love, so as to consciously resist the interference of bad atmosphere during their study and devote themselves to college life in a healthy state of mind and body, so as to strive for early success. Specifically, efforts can be made in the following aspects:
1. Vigorously strengthen the construction of campus culture and advocate civilized behavior on campus. Healthy and beneficial campus cultural life meets the emotional requirements of college students and is a good way to eliminate their loneliness, cultivate their healthy sentiment, enhance their moral strength and cherish a happy life. The colorful spiritual and cultural life is not only reflected in the diversification and frequency of activities, but also in the popularization of people who participate in activities, so that every student has the opportunity to show his talents, express his self-worth and be respected. Try to give them opportunities for emotional satisfaction. * * * The Youth League Committee and students should cooperate closely and do well in college students' club activities.
2. Carry out sexual morality and health education. The purpose is to ensure the health of growing college students on the basis of popularizing knowledge of life and psychology. This kind of education is both health education and moral education. Rousseau, a French enlightenment thinker, philosopher and educator, said: "The only way to avoid evil thoughts is to avoid mystery." Through sex education, we can correct the deviation of college students' sexual consciousness, establish a healthy sexual consciousness, establish a correct moral and legal concept, correctly communicate between men and women, and correctly handle the relationship between love and friendship. At the same time, we should attach importance to the important role of psychological counseling institutions, and provide individual counseling to individual students who have psychological diseases and psychological obstacles due to love problems to help them restore their confidence and avoid vicious incidents.
3. Strengthen ideological and political education and pay attention to the guidance of public opinion. First of all, we should help college students set up lofty ideals, encourage them to "study first, then fall in love", vigorously publicize and commend the typical examples of hard work and active work, and guide them to devote their main energy to their studies. College students are the best among young people, so they should aim high. If their academic progress is affected by love, it is a great pity, and they should not be allowed to deal with the relationship between love and study. Secondly, we should educate college students in love to establish a correct view of love, treat each other sincerely, and be faithful and single-minded. The choice of love object should be based on the same ideal interest, not to meet temporary physical or psychological needs. Thirdly, we should guide them to love noble style and dignified behavior. On the one hand, we should urge them to turn love into an incentive mechanism and urge themselves to make progress. On the other hand, we should educate them to fall in love in a civilized way and give others a fresh and pleasant feeling.
4. Strengthen management, establish and improve rules and regulations, and regulate love behavior. Schools, departments, educational administration and other departments should educate, manage and restrain college students' love, and make concerted efforts to form a joint force. We can't just deal with and emphasize when some college students fall out of love, but let themselves go in peacetime; Nor can we push the ideological education of college students' love to a certain department. Schools should formulate rules, regulations and treatment measures, and make them public to students, so that there are rules to follow, and discipline should be strictly enforced and observed.
5. Establishing mental health files for students, regularly evaluating mental health status and finding and solving them early are all aimed at preventing and reducing the influence of psychological problems on students' life, study and future employment. In addition to scientific sexual health education, the establishment of college students' mental health files is also an important measure to strengthen college students' mental health care. At present, most schools only pay attention to students' physical health, but not enough attention to students' mental health, which leads to many students' problems not being discovered and solved as soon as possible. Therefore, we suggest that freshmen should make a scientific mental health survey when they enter school, establish mental health files, conduct mental health surveys on students at school regularly, and record their psychological development and mental health status, so as to actively prevent college students' mental diseases, and make early detection, timely diagnosis and treatment of students in subclinical mental health (sub-health state), thus reducing the incidence of college students' mental diseases.
6. Establish a psychological counseling center on campus. Teachers or part-time professionals with certain professional knowledge will be hired to provide students with convenient, timely and effective counseling channels. Psychological counseling is a new medical service in China, and the quality of professionals is uneven and the standardization is poor. Moreover, due to the influence of China traditional culture, most China people are introverted and unwilling to tell others about their psychological problems. Some people are biased towards psychological counseling for fear of being considered mentally ill. Therefore, many times students have psychological problems, don't know who to talk to, or hide it in their hearts, or find some informal clinics for treatment, which eventually delays the treatment opportunity and aggravates the problem. In this regard, colleges and universities should give full play to the advantages of the concentration of professionals, carry out inter-school cooperation, learn from each other's strengths, set up psychological counseling centers, provide professional psychological counseling for students, solve their various psychological problems in time, and actively carry out publicity lectures so that students can correctly understand psychological counseling and seek correct solutions when encountering problems.
A school without love is a bit boring, but love without school is like a seed sown in the desert. Without a solid foundation and content, it will wither sooner or later. Bacon said: "All truly great people are not crazy about love, and suppress such weak feelings because of a great cause." It is happy to have feelings. When the feelings are smooth, promote learning with excitement and love the school's double harvest; When feelings are not smooth, turn sadness into strength, learn to bear unpleasant results, and then your mind will be healthy, and your heart will reduce depression and frustration. This kind of sound personality can't be bought by money, and it is also greater happiness. As contemporary college students, we should have a clear understanding of our historical mission, correct our love view and correctly handle the relationship between study and love. In a word, the factor admired by the other party is the soil of love, and loyalty grows in this soil. Loyalty, reason, tolerance and other resulting trees can blossom holy and beautiful flowers of true love and bear happy and splendid fruits of true love.