? First, carefully choose single-parent families. It's not that single-parent families are bad, but that single-parent families are difficult to get along with. My husband lost his father at the age of ten and my mother-in-law never remarried. They are dependent on each other. At that time, some relatives and elders advised me to seriously consider the single-parent family, because children who grew up in this family environment will have psychological problems to some extent, and the mother of a single-parent family will transfer all the feelings she lacks for her husband to her son, virtually treating the "future daughter-in-law" as an enemy. I certainly didn't listen at that time, but all the details after the real marriage showed that I really looked like a third party in this relationship.
For example, when I go to my mother-in-law's house for dinner, she never looks cold, and she won't cook my favorite dishes. The food on the table is always my son's favorite. After her son finished eating, she wanted to serve him soup as soon as possible. Even during the second month, she won't give up putting peppers in her food because my daughter-in-law wants breast milk. As for my husband, at first, he may comfort himself with guilt and complain a lot. He would only say coldly, "It's not easy for her to raise me alone, so you can't bear it. Besides, what do you want me to do? Are you trying to force me to die? " All the problems I expected him to solve were not solved, and he only made me endure, and my heart began to get a little cold.
? Second, if you can, try not to be married. Because those of us who have been waiting in the ivory tower for a long time are relatively simple and don't understand the complexity of society. It is best to talk about marriage after we have worked for several years and have some experience, and then talk about it when we are relatively independent in economy and personality. In fact, many valuable experiences in life are slowly accumulated after we really step into society. Don't compromise again and again just because the other person is in a hurry to get married. Believe me, people who really love you can wait.
? Third, don't be a housewife easily, and avoid living with the elderly after marriage. My own parents have grandchildren to take care of, so they can't help me take care of the children. My husband can't help me take care of the children because his single parent and mother-in-law are old. In desperation, I became a housewife. At that time, my husband's promise was to help me find a relatively leisure job when my child was in kindergarten, and to give me 1000 yuan of household expenses every month during the nanny period. The fact is that when I really quit my job and started to be a housewife, my husband didn't pay any household expenses. The reason given is that I don't have enough spare money to pay back my credit card every month. I hereby advise you, if there is really no way to quit your job and take care of the baby, please keep the economic power at home, otherwise everything will be passive.
What is more exasperating is that I have spent almost all my savings in the past two years. Seeing that the children are getting older, I suggest my husband help me find a job. The reason given by my husband is to get through the relationship when looking for a job. There is no deposit at home now, and there is no way to help me find it. In desperation, I found a job in sales, starting from the bottom. Only I know how difficult it is to restart my career at the age of 30 without relevant sales experience.
? Let's talk about living with the elderly. If conditions permit, really don't live with the elderly. If the conditions are really not available, try to create conditions to live separately, and don't be reluctant to pay rent. Even a reasonable elder will have conflicts because of many conceptual conflicts with the younger generation, what's more, I still get along with a single mother-in-law with a surly personality. The reason why we have today's ending has a lot to do with his insistence on taking his mother over and living under the same roof.
Some people say that a good marriage needs to be managed. I think this is based on equality, health and mutual willingness to have a good marriage life. If our marriage relationship has been cheated, treated unfairly and coerced from the beginning, it may not be a good relief to stop loss in time. The above is my own marriage revelation, and I will tell you and myself.