If you reprint it online, sort it out and delete it yourself. Suhomlinski, an educator from the former Soviet Union, proposed that schools should be "homes away from home" and families should be "schools outside school". The most ideal education should be "school-family education". Parents are a special link between schools and students. As an important part of youth education, family education plays an irreplaceable role in students' ideological education. Therefore, the education of children is not only a school education, but also a three-dimensional education that needs to be completed by families, schools and society. Suhomlinski pointed out in "Suggestions for Teachers": "Only under such conditions can we achieve harmonious and all-round development, that is, two' educators'-school and family-should not only act in concert, but also put forward the same requirements for children, and they should share the same interests, hold the same beliefs, always proceed from the same principles, and there should be no differences in the purpose, process or means of education. Otherwise, the role of education will be disturbed, weakened or even offset. As one of the three, family is the first school in students' life, and it is also a lifelong school. Parents are the first teachers and lifelong teachers. Children's language, attitude, psychological quality, behavior and living habits are mostly learned from their parents at the earliest, which shows that family is the cradle of cultivating personality. Therefore, how to achieve the consistency of parents and teachers' actions and beliefs, attach importance to family education and parents' guidance has become an important issue in current education. First, the status quo of parents' educational concepts Let me give two examples to illustrate the status quo of family education. Although it is not universal, it is representative. Example 1: One day, I passed by my neighbor's house and heard slapping and swearing from the room: "Can't you do such a simple question?" "You are so stupid. Did you listen carefully in class? What's more, I told you twice and I didn't understand. You are so stupid. Simply don't read this book. " I entered his door and saw his father sitting there angrily without saying a word. The child stood by the wall crying and trembling with fear. Example 2: A little boy skipped home with a small award and panted to his mother, "Mom, mom, good news. The teacher finally praised me today." It is a pity that he has not been praised for many years. I don't know. My mother said without looking back, "I got a little praise and put my tail up in the sky." If you can be the first in the class, that's your skill! "The little boy's happiness disappeared at once. According to the above two cases, as well as various surveys, although many parents attach importance to their children's education, pay attention to the development of children's autonomy, invest in education at all costs, and the family education method is gradually becoming more scientific, the current situation of parents' education concept is still worrying: (1) attaches importance to achievements and ignores growth. When primary school students come to school on the first day, the teacher asks them why they come to school. Many students reply, "In order to go to college, I will earn a lot of money in the future." How can I go to college? The child's answer is: "I got a hundred points." According to the statistics of China Children's Research Center, China's parents are still concerned about their children's academic performance. Many parents think that school performance represents everything. Children have two goals in life, one is the college entrance examination and the other is studying abroad. The goal is clear, and the rest of the parents' work is to achieve this goal by intimidating, inducing and pleading with their children. This outdated concept left over from the imperial examination era is still deeply rooted in the hearts of the people. Our parents write the distant goal of "university" in their young and innocent hearts, and set the perfect percentage as the halo of their children's way to school. What does "100" mean to the first-grade pupils who can only add and subtract within ten? How many children can get what they want when children attack 100 points again and again? It is conceivable that more children are hit by failure, and their confidence in growth and interest in learning are perfectly stifled! This shows that our parents expect too much from their children's education, which brings a heavy mental burden to their children day after day and year after year, and is a kind of spiritual destruction to the growing children. /kloc-Xu Li, a 0/7-year-old juvenile delinquent, lost his mind because he couldn't bear the heavy pressure and killed his mother. This is a tragedy caused by the pressure of grades! Lu Qin, a famous family education expert, warned parents that growth is more important than grades, so don't bury growth in grades! (2) Pay attention to success and ignore adults. Nowadays, the only child is becoming more and more common in China society. It is a parenting goal for young parents to expect their children's success and success. Many parents pin their regrets on their children and always force them to take the right path, even if they are not suitable or like it. For example, learning the piano and going abroad. Under this pressure, the family becomes unhappy, and the happy time of parents and children becomes a struggle. Sacrifice the harmonious relationship between parents and children and pursue some inexplicable and not necessarily correct parents' ideals. And children have become the victims of this ideal. For this ideal, children have less and less time and attend many remedial classes on holidays; For this ideal, children's space is getting smaller and smaller, and various ability tests are isolated from the wonderful world outside; For this ideal, children's hearts are getting more and more lonely, and a "sandstorm" is quietly rising in their hearts. To succeed, you must be an adult first! After all, fame and marriage are a minority, and ordinary people are the majority. We should cultivate an ordinary person with a normal heart. Ye Shengtao, a famous educator, warned every child's parents: Don't let children be human, don't let children be human, let children be human, that is, ordinary people. (3) Pay attention to intellectual education and ignore the role of moral education in cultivating, developing and excavating children's intellectual factors. Parents should be smart at all costs, and intelligence is the only yardstick for excellent children. Parents think that children are smart and knowledgeable, and the future must be beautiful, but they ignore that morality is the means to make children live a better life. The Code of Conduct for Parents' Education jointly issued by the Ministry of Education and the All-China Women's Federation clearly points out that parents "should focus on educating their children to be human beings, improve their ideological and moral level, cultivate their habits of observing social morality, and enhance their legal awareness and sense of social responsibility". It is our goal to evaluate children comprehensively and objectively, with both ability and political integrity. Remember: only virtue is true; Virtue without talent is inferior; No virtue is dangerous goods; Without talent and virtue, it is a waste. We should be vigilant that outstanding students admitted to national key universities can no longer commit suicide by cutting their wrists; We can't let the tragedy of Magat happen again! Second, there are problems in family education. It can be seen that at present, our parents have many problems in children's outlook, teaching children, evaluation and success. (A) the concept of children: lack of respect in the concept of children, many parents still regard their children as ignorant children, put themselves in an authoritative role, lack understanding and respect for children's needs and feelings, and compulsory and even oppressive family education is widespread, which leads to insufficient internal motivation for children to learn and greatly affects their enthusiasm for participating in life. This misconception that children are not regarded as individuals with complete rights will bring many bad consequences to individuals and society. It will lead to a lack of service and respect in society, because people who are not respected will not know how to respect others. (2) the concept of teaching children: success depends on playing in the concept of teaching children. Because some parents have the extreme concept of "no play, no success", parents' educational behavior lacks due tension. Sticking sticks to show filial piety is a simple and rude feudal family education method. In this way of education, children have poor self-control and are honest in front of their parents. Once they leave their parents, they are like runaway wild horses. In addition, they can't find warmth at home, and they are easy to associate with social undesirable elements and even embark on the road of crime. (3) Evaluation concept: In the evaluation concept, parents blindly pay attention to their children's learning results, ignore their children's learning process, and drive parents to get to the bottom of their children's test scores and grades, often on the grounds of busy work, and pay insufficient attention to their children's efforts and difficulties in the learning process. As a result, many children regard scores as their "lifeblood", take exams as a kind of fear, often cheat in exams, and even create a group of "tired of studying and playing truant". (4) the concept of success: the expectation is too high. Parents regard academic performance as the only indicator of their children's success. In the eyes of parents, the only thing children have to do is to learn culture. They send their children to the best schools and classes and try their best to get in touch with teachers in order to get their attention. Going to school has become the only expectation of parents for their children, and parents and children have become machines for going to school. Television can't be turned on, holidays can't be played, and other aspects of children's development, including the sound development of personality, are seriously ignored. Under the influence of this concept, parents severely reprimand their children's depression and anxiety as moaning without illness; It is a waste of time to obstruct children's peer gatherings; Children's hobbies are strictly forbidden because they do nothing ... three. The current situation and problems of parents' educational ideas above the guidance of family education have to arouse our deep thinking, which has a negative and negative impact on the development of primary school students and seriously affects the quality of family education. Chen Heqin once said: "Family education should be fully responsible for the enrichment of knowledge, the development of ideas and the cultivation of good habits." Suhomlinski also thinks so: "If we don't systematically carry out pedagogy education and improve parents' educational literacy, no matter what kind of education work, it is completely incredible. "So, how to guide and guide parents to carry out family education and give full play to the function of family education? I think there are the following countermeasures: (1) The root of creating opportunities to promote the transformation of many social problems lies in the failure of education, and the fundamental way to change the current situation of education lies in "family education", and the basis of family education should be "parent education". Without good coaches (parents), it is difficult to produce excellent athletes (children). " National quality should start with dolls, and doll quality should start with parents' education. "As a school, we should create more opportunities for parents, run schools for parents, tell parents advanced educational concepts by holding effective lectures, provide professional and trained full-time and part-time educational consultants for parents, and carry out family education with parents to the end. At the same time, as a class teacher, you can use the resources around you to educate and inspire parents. In fact, many parents around us have better experience in educating their children than we do. Their experience is gained through their own attempts and is effective. Therefore, I want to introduce this valuable experience to more parents through the parent-teacher conference, which can not only arouse the enthusiasm of parents to participate in education, but also make up for our shortcomings in education. Why not kill two birds with one stone? (2) study hard and strengthen research. With the development of the times and the speed of knowledge obsolescence, it is unrealistic for parents to rely on the knowledge and methods learned decades ago to educate their children without paying attention to self-enrichment and knowledge improvement. "Legend of the Wind" was fascinated by the success of his children. " It is better to quit the net than to be a fish. "If parents study hard, they can take fewer detours and think more about their children's growth. Parents should educate their children well, receive education first, learn new knowledge in various ways, update the knowledge structure, and make family education adapt to the requirements of the times intellectually. Analysis of various successful education cases shows the wisdom of education, and adds wisdom "seasoning" to deep love, which makes love more thick. Lenin's aunt cleverly protected the child's self-esteem when he broke the vase; Teacher Helen created an educational miracle with wisdom. With the growth of children, the content of family education is constantly changing. Parents' learning modern educational knowledge is not only the need to educate their children, but also the need to enrich themselves and improve their quality. Only in this way can family education develop from experience and nature to science. (3) Family democracy, focusing on the experience that parents are creators and disseminators of family culture. It is an important responsibility of parents to optimize the family cultural environment and build a healthy, civilized and positive family cultural environment. Parents should strive to create a harmonious family cultural atmosphere that is in tune with modern society, and let the fresh breath of modernity, democracy and freedom blow into the family. Family members should respect each other and treat each other as equals, especially paying attention to the reasonable opinions of children. We should not force children to develop according to their parents' requirements, but should find out their personality tendencies and interests and promote their healthy growth. At the same time, parents should also actively participate in their children's study and life, because teaching by example is better than words, studying with children, reading with children, surfing the Internet with children, sharing love with children, and creating love with children ... In the long run, parents will be close to their children, not only knowing their world and sharing their troubles, but also influencing them from time to time and educating them in everything, which is conducive to the development of their various hobbies. (4) Paying attention to children and developing people in an all-round way should be all-round, and moral, intellectual and physical aspects are all part of people's development goals. Furthermore, the requirements of morality, intelligence and physique are the inevitable trend of people's normal development and the needs of life itself. As Professor Ye Lan pointed out: "Life has various needs: physical, psychological, social, material, spiritual, behavioral, cognitive, value and belief; In any kind of activity, people participate in and invest in a complete life form. "So, today's parents can't use book knowledge to put pressure on their children, and they can't just use scores to measure their children's quality. Because moral education is the core of educating people, moral cultivation promotes cultural cultivation, and cultural cultivation with moral cultivation is rich. If our family education wants children to grow sturdily, we should attach importance to teaching children to be human beings and give priority to cultivating their sound personality and excellent moral character on the premise of conforming to nature and teaching them in accordance with their aptitude, so as to cultivate their all-round development. (5) Learn to appreciate and cultivate self-confidence. Education is not to fill a bucket of water, but to light a bonfire. And children's ability and confidence are the kindling that ignites the fire of life. Children's growth should be fruitful, every day is a new beginning, every day is progress, and every day is a harvest. Therefore, in the process of children's growth, all the help parents give their children should be encouragement and appreciation. It should be noted that excessive or excessive abuse of encouragement and praise will make children feel that you are insincere, have low expectations of him, or don't know what is really commendable. It is best to give a timely and accurate response to the child's behavior or progress. For example, say to him, "I see that you have been working hard these days, and you are much more flexible in doing problems." "This is much better than saying' great' in general. We can educate our children: "The real joy of life lies in making people around us feel our existence and become better because of our existence;" "Encourage children to realize that they don't need to be a perfect child. As long as they are willing to try, they will feel endless fun and thus shape a complete self-awareness. " The core of a family is children, and the prosperity of the family depends on children; The hope of the country lies in talents, and the prosperity of the country depends on talents. Education is the key to the prosperity of the country and the prosperity of the nation. Didn't Froebel once say, "Family life is unparalleled in every period of children's growth, no, in people's life." Changing parents' educational concept not only plays an important role in promoting the cause of cultivating "roots", but also lays a solid foundation for improving the quality of the people. Parents, let's work together to make our children the pride of tomorrow's family and the pillar of the future country!