How can you build a good bridge? Take the first step of communication bravely: "Send an invitation to someone". Even if you are rejected, you will enjoy the pleasure of being invited!
You and one of my sisters are very similar in character! I want to be friends with others, but I'm afraid of this and that.
Always shut yourself in your own small circle! Everything you do is to consider other people's opinions! Timid!
Although the present society is very complicated, in fact, many things are because we are too defensive and consider things too complicated. Sometimes it is better to be simple!
If you can talk to anyone for ten minutes and arouse their interest, you are a good communicator. Because anyone who enters this range is very wide, it may be an engineer, a jurist, a teacher, an artist or a stonemason. In a word, it is not easy for you to talk with people from all walks of life for ten minutes about what they are interested in. However, no matter how difficult it is, we have to work hard to get through this difficulty. It is painful for many people to be relatively silent because they don't understand each other's cause. In fact, if you are willing to make a little effort, this unfortunate situation can be reduced, and even it is not difficult to be a good communicator. If you want to do a good job, you must sharpen your tools first. Although it is an old saying, it still applies until now, so we should enrich our knowledge.
Of course, a man with no ink on his chest can't be expected to say everything he wants. Learning is a sharp weapon, with which everything can be solved. Although you can't do subtle research on all kinds of professional knowledge, so-called common sense is necessary. With general knowledge, I think it is not difficult to cope with anyone's ten-minute interest conversation as long as they can skillfully use it. You need to read more books and newspapers. World trends, the construction of China, new inventions and discoveries in the scientific community, local characteristics or figures around the world, and new works of art, fashion, movies and plays. You can see it in daily newspapers and monthly magazines. If you can, you will be competent and willing to deal with all kinds of roles.
There is a beauty salon in Kowloon, Hong Kong, and its business is booming. Someone asked him why his business was booming, but owner Dan Bai admitted that it was entirely because his beautician was good at talking with customers at work. But how to make the staff good at talking? It's easy. The shopkeeper said: I buy all kinds of newspapers and magazines every month, and all employees are required to read them every morning before going to work. Just like their daily homework, they will get the freshest speech materials and have fun with their customers. If you say that you don't like reading and reading newspapers, or that you don't have time to read and read newspapers, please stop studying the art of speaking. We don't want people who don't even like reading books and newspapers and refuse to find time to read them to succeed in any category. No matter what you want to achieve, the method of getting something for nothing has not been invented in the world!
A bitter medicine with nine packages of sugar coating makes people feel sweet at first and easy to swallow in one gulp. In this way, when the drug enters the gastrointestinal tract, its medicinal properties will play a role and the disease will be cured. We should give people an exhortation. Before we say it, give people a Miao Mao from yesterday, so that people can taste the sweetness first. If you say it again, they will accept it easily. Director Chen of an agency said to a female typist one day, "You are wearing such a beautiful suit today, which shows your beauty and generosity." The female typist suddenly heard such praise from the director, and her heart was full of joy. Director Chen went on to say, "But I want to tell you that the purpose of saying this sentence is to make your heart happy. I hope you will pay more attention to punctuation when typing in the future. Although director Chen's statement is a bit too explicit, his method is still worth emulating. Because, if he bluntly told the female typist to pay special attention to punctuation, she would feel scolded by her boss today, which was very shameful. Her heart may be unhappy for a few days. She may have to defend herself, saying that she is very careful, because there are mistakes or ambiguities in the manuscript, so she can't take full responsibility for this mistake. Gal, director Chen's gauge work not only lost its effect, maybe it will become dull!
If you want people to do what you want, you should use the tone of negotiation. For example, if you tell someone: I want you to do this, but you don't say it, but you say in a consulting tone: "Do you think this is good?" If you want your secretary to write a letter, you should ask again, "Do you think this is appropriate?" After reading the place to be revised, he said, "What do you think of writing like this? Although you stand in the perspective of giving orders, you know people don't like to listen to orders, so you shouldn't use the tone of orders. If, at noon in midsummer, a group of workers are panting kindly, a supervisor comes up and scolds everyone, and the workers are afraid of the supervisor, of course, they immediately stand up and go to work. But the supervisor left and they stopped again, that's for sure. What if the supervisor stands up and says, "It's really hot, and you're sweating after sitting down?"? "! My friend, these jobs are very important now. Let's be patient and catch up, shall we? Let's catch up early and go back to take a shower and rest early, shall we? I think, of course, workers will go to work without saying a word.
If you are talking with many friends, suddenly an unexpected guest comes and rambles, which is like someone throwing a pot of ice water at you. This ignorant man just doesn't know how to judge a book by its cover, and he must be called a daredevil behind his back. So every time we come into contact with a character, we must first look at the surrounding environment. And know each other's recent living conditions. If the other person is proud, you can't say anything casually in front of him.
If you have general knowledge, then even if you can't have all kinds of professional knowledge. Enough for all kinds of people. Because even if you can't handle it, you will always ask questions. Asking questions can make the other person talk. Suppose your opponent is a doctor. Although you are a complete layman in medicine, you can open this situation in a short time, from the symptoms of cholera to cold food, vitamins, supplements and so on. As long as you don't hate it, you can always make him talk. When you meet a teacher, you can ask about his school, students' qualities and tendencies. In short, asking questions is the best way to open the other person's dialog box.
In casual conversation, the most important thing to pay attention to is to ask the other person what he knows. Ask each other the best questions. If you are not sure whether the other person is strong enough to answer, you might as well not ask.
Some questions, when you can't get satisfactory answers, you can continue to ask, but some are not suitable for asking again.
"If I can't learn anything from anyone, it's a failure in my life." This is thought-provoking, because open-minded people are often popular. Remember, asking questions can not only open the topic, but also enrich your knowledge.
Talking means showing humility, humility and respect for each other. Can you post this letter for me? Why don't you post that letter for me? Sounds more comfortable. If you don't understand one thing, you might as well ask someone else. Being smart is the worst. A question of asking for advice in vain can win the favor of others best. But how to ask, this question is also worth studying. There are many ways to ask questions, and the results are different. A clever question makes people happy, while a stupid conversation will only cause the other person to laugh or even dislike.
Is this cake fresh? Have you asked the cake seller a similar question? Many times? Actually this is an unwise question. This kind of question, you can't get the real answer, and it will make the other person feel funny. When you run to the pub to order, the waiter suddenly asks, "How is the grouper today?" This question is a waste, because he will definitely say yes, unless you are a regular customer, if you use another method: "What delicious seafood is there today? Then the effect is completely different, and you can still eat real seafood. " Today's grouper, ok? And what delicious seafood is there today? "Two kinds of problems cause completely different psychological reactions. Yes The former is nothing more than one thing, and there are only two answers, good and bad. He can't say it's not good for the signboard of the store, and it's hard to say whether a thing is good or not. Since the standard is not set, he thinks that a good word can't be said to deceive you, even if the grouper is not very good now. All you have is grouper. Looks like you don't have any good ideas except grouper. You're asking about groupers. It seems that you don't like anything except grouper. Then the waiter felt it was his duty to say hello to you.
As a result, it is you who suffer. He just said that the food was really good and there was not much responsibility. As mentioned above, there is no certain standard for good or bad. As for you, you asked at the beginning, "Today, any good seafood factory says there is no prejudice, no matter what seafood, as long as it is good." This shows that you are modest and won't ask his advice because you are smart. The definition of this problem is very broad. Today is not seafood, okay? But what delicious seafood is there today? Respondents can even say, "There is no delicious seafood today, but today's Xinfeng chicken is fat and tender, which is worth a try." So his answer can be very wide. Speaking of interviewees? When he saw you asking him for advice for the first time, his self-esteem was satisfied and he was already very happy. Since the range of seafood is very wide, let's compare all kinds of seafood and introduce the best of the day to you. This job is easier to handle. Since you have consulted him, he dare not be irresponsible and will naturally introduce the best to you. From this perspective, the questions are small, but the questioning skills are difficult. It is said that some guests in Hong Kong put an egg in the tea room when they drink cocoa, so when the guests want cocoa, the waiter must ask, "Do you want an egg? A psychologist was called to a teahouse to study how to develop business. He said, "Do you want to add eggs? "? But "one or two eggs? "In this way, it is absolutely certain to do more egg business.
When talking about common conversations used in communication situations, the most important thing is to have a gentle tone and a humble attitude. Instead of asking, "Do you hate him?" Or "Do you like him very much?" Why not ask, "What's your impression of him?" But some people may pretend to be biased first. To a man who looks forty: "You must be thirty this year, right?" It's more like asking, "Are you commemorating Geng this year?" Much better.
Isn't there an advertisement that says "being smart is harder than being confused!" "Don't care too much, the more you care, the more you lose.
Let nature take its course, as long as you treat things sincerely, you don't have to pursue success unintentionally, and often surprises will appear inadvertently.
Let go of the psychological bondage and enjoy our life! You can live a happy life! ! ! ! !