The individual's mental health is mainly manifested in the interaction with others. Harmonious interpersonal relationship is not only an indispensable condition for mental health, but also an important way to obtain mental health. Its performance: first, it is willing to associate with people; Second, maintain an independent and complete personality in communication; Third, we can objectively evaluate the friendliness and helpfulness of others; Fourth, there are more positive attitudes than negative attitudes in communication. Interpersonal relationship is closely related to mental health. Everyone has feelings, and the communication between people must first get emotional support. Good interpersonal relationships can relieve all kinds of inner pressures. If professionals want to succeed, they need professional knowledge first, and another very important aspect is extensive interpersonal relationships. Because success requires opportunities, there are many opportunities in good and extensive interpersonal relationships. A simple way to improve interpersonal relationships is to enhance your personal charm. Healthy interpersonal relationship is the most important external resource that a person can rely on.
Conflicts between colleagues.
Colleagues can be active collaborators or strong competitors. It should be noted that the contradiction between colleagues not only reflects the cognition, thinking, perspective and behavior pattern between the parties, but also reflects the personality characteristics, growth experience, self-knowledge and evaluation and social role of the parties.
Key points of consultation: understanding, tolerance, empathy, trust, communication, and fostering a sense of security and belonging. In addition, we need to consider the relationship between personality differences, growth experience, self-cognition and evaluation level, and social roles.
Case: Xiaoming is the manager in charge of project planning. He noticed that his administrative assistant Lena seemed to have a problem with him, but Xiao Ming didn't know the reason of the problem. Lena's duty should be to help coordinate Xiaoming's meeting and training arrangements, but when Xiaoming asked Lena to prepare his speech materials, he found Lena's tone was always bad. In meetings, Lena always sarcastically implies that Xiao Ming is incompetent, for example, "I have told you three times, didn't you hear?" At the end of a meeting, their conflict finally broke out. An employee of the company resigned, and a new employee agreed to take part of the responsibilities of the resigned employee. Xiao Ming is not clear about the specific responsibilities. When he asked Lena to explain, Lena said angrily, "Oh, didn't you attend the meeting?"
Xiao Ming is puzzled by Lena's attitude, and he is not sure what he did wrong. This relationship not only affected his feelings, but also affected the development of his work. Facing this problem, Xiao Ming doesn't know what to do. Do you want to keep playing dumb and hope things will get better? Or do you deal with Lena privately? Ask this question at the meeting? Or secretly counterattack?
Solutions and suggestions:
It is a challenge to solve the contradiction of emotional dissatisfaction among such colleagues, because emotions are hidden or indirect, sometimes in a specific direction, and sometimes not. This is a weak signal, just like the static noise in the radio. As the volume increases, it is likely to attract people's attention. If you don't take action, the noise will get louder and louder. To make matters worse, with the further deterioration of this harmful relationship, the damage will not only be limited to the original stakeholders, but also have a negative impact on everyone in the office.
Solution: Direct communication is the best way to find out whether the other party has offended you and clarify it. When problems and emotions make it impossible for two people to face contradictions rationally, please ask a neutral third party to mediate, bring the two parties to the conflict together, clarify the facts, communicate with each other and resolve old grievances.
Talk about things. Not based on feelings, but on solving problems.
2) Relationship with superiors
People live in a variety of identities, even the identity and role of the same person in different environments are completely different. For example, in the workplace role at work, you may be a secretary or a manager; Family Role In life, you may be both a father and a son. The responsibilities and personality of each role are completely different. With the increase of social survival pressure and competition, the contradiction between superiors and subordinates will bring great psychological pressure and painful experience to people. What if you don't get along well with your boss? They are in power, holding your performance appraisal and opportunities for promotion and salary increase. If you fight, you will not only have a hard time, but also be swept out of the house soon. Besides the boss, what should you do if you really like or need this job? How can I untie the knot in my heart and smooth the injured feelings?
Key points of consultation: position and role orientation, organization and working procedures, empathy, self-awareness, respect, support, communication, cooperation, conflict management,
Case: Linda is a college student who graduated in 2003. Now she works as an accountant in a big company. She likes this job very much. The finance department of this enterprise is large in scale and complicated in relationship. Two days ago, I had a conflict with Linda's direct supervisor because I transferred a sum of money to the wrong account at the end of last year. According to Linda, the boss was promoted to his present position because of nepotism. He has little knowledge of basic subjects and often has accounts that he can't understand. There is another account to be adjusted recently. Because of the large amount, Linda directly asked the chief financial officer, the head of the department. Although Linda mentioned it to his boss, he was noncommittal. Unexpectedly, after receiving the instructions signed by the chief financial officer, he immediately turned to Linda. Linda felt that he was jealous of Linda's qualifications and level, and Linda's instructions to the director made him feel inferior. Although there is no direct conflict with him, Linda knows that he will find a chance to give him some color. Now Linda has a hard life under his leadership and has to be careful. Linda is at a loss whether to deal with this relationship, resign or confront each other.
Although the students who have just entered the workplace are full of ambitions and ambitions, when their abilities are initially confirmed, they are easy to fall into the misunderstanding of "supercilious" and "people are inferior to themselves" because of their psychological maturity and lack of self-awareness. This kind of mentality will lead to arrogance and contempt for others, and too much "elite consciousness" will unbalance the relationship between superiors and subordinates and interpersonal relationships, and make behaviors beyond their posts and roles. "leapfrog reporting" is the biggest taboo in the workplace, especially in big companies. Linda's taboo caused tension between her and her boss. If you resign, it means that Linda will lose her favorite job. Confrontation will bring both losses.
Solution: Put yourself in Linda's shoes and let her know how she offended her boss in violation of working procedures, admit her mistake, sincerely apologize and resolve the contradiction. Learn to distinguish and handle your role in the workplace, adjust your self-evaluation, respect and support others. Remove the stereotype of boss and others (the emotional expression of nepotism and the difference of working ability and knowledge level).
College students emphasize personality development in school, but emphasize team spirit and strict working procedures and discipline in enterprises. What is needed here is not the individual uniqueness of college students, but the tacit cooperation with the team to complete the work with collective wisdom and strength. Newcomers should understand that no matter how excellent your academic performance is in college, how advanced your education is, no matter how ambitious you are, success will never be isolated. Your environment, interpersonal relationship and ability to deal with contradictions are all important factors that affect a person's success. If you don't solve the problem of getting along with people, even if you change companies, the same problems and situations will appear. Only by learning to respect others and grasp the role well can we really give play to a person's ability in the workplace and create a win-win situation.