First, language communication skills.
The communication between people is mainly based on the most important and convenient tool unique to human beings-language. Language communication is the main channel of interpersonal communication. The language communication of soldiers in their daily work, study and life is mainly through oral language. Oral communication includes listening and speaking. Being good at listening and willing to talk will enable soldiers to communicate smoothly in a good psychological atmosphere and obtain psychological satisfaction.
(A) Listening skills
People who have mastered listening skills and are good at listening to others can often communicate with others smoothly. Because listening shows respect for each other. When a soldier speaks, the officer's listening behavior is silently telling the soldier, "You are a person worthy of my listening". Soldiers feel this kind of "subtext", which invisibly improves their self-esteem, and their affection for officers arises spontaneously, and the psychological distance between the two sides is shortened at once. On the other hand, if the officer is absent-minded when the soldier is talking, or the soldier has not finished what he wants to say, the officer will be impatient, and the "subtext" of these actions will easily dampen the self-esteem of the other side, and it is difficult for the feelings of both sides to be harmonious and intimate. Therefore, when listening to others, we should concentrate and listen attentively, not just with our ears. We should temporarily forget our thoughts, expectations and prejudices, and review our experiences, experiences and feelings with the speaker instead of staring blankly and looking dull; Give positive feedback through eye contact, nodding, praise, etc. To enhance the self-confidence expressed by the other party and make him happy to talk. Be patient when listening, even if what the other person says is wordy, or not to your taste, or even offends yourself, you should listen patiently and don't show any impatience and unhappiness. Listen with an open mind. When the other person's situation and reason are not clear and profound, don't interrupt him easily, let alone be a good teacher and cultivate people easily. "Even a wise man sometimes nods; A fool who cares very much will gain something. " Be good at finding the bright spot in each other's thoughts when listening.
(b) presentation skills
It is an expression of thoughts and feelings. Talking is for people. To make others interested in and understand what they say, we must master some speaking skills. First, choose a good topic, be positive and suitable for the other party's knowledge, experience and mood at that time. Second, the language should be concise, popular and vivid, with few words, and the speech should be appropriate and timely. Third, make good use of honorific words, be courteous to leaders and superiors, and use friendly words among comrades. The fourth is to praise others appropriately. Praising others in a timely, moderate and heartfelt way can create a harmonious communication atmosphere and strengthen interpersonal attraction. But praise should be sincere and moderate, and don't praise or compliment others at will, which makes people feel hypocritical.
Second, the skills of nonverbal communication.
Nonverbal communication refers to the communication skills of both parties through nonverbal behaviors such as clothing, eyes, expressions, body language, tone and interpersonal distance. In interpersonal communication, although nonverbal behavior is usually only an auxiliary and strengthening means of language behavior, it can sometimes replace language to convey feelings and feelings, and it can skillfully convey the "overtones" that language is difficult to express, resulting in the effect that "silence is better than sound". Therefore, the role of nonverbal behavior cannot be underestimated. To improve the communication ability of officers and men, we should guide them to pay attention to some necessary nonverbal communication skills in interpersonal communication.
(A) eye skills
As the saying goes, "the eyes are the windows to the soul". Eye contact is the most expressive nonverbal communication between people. The sincerity of eyes comes from inner innocence, and eye contact can promote the communication between the two sides in communication. The direction of eyes, the rotation of eyeballs, the frequency of blinking and the length of time to close eyes all express specific meanings and reveal specific emotions. Face up to show respect, squint to show contempt, and bright eyes will cheer the listener up. Soft and warm eyes will show enthusiasm, approval, encouragement and love for others; Dull eyes indicate that they are not interested or convinced of what the other party said; Empty eyes express inner anxiety and helplessness; Looking around will make people absent-minded. In communication, proper eye contact can express each other's concern. Usually, people who are more confident will make eye contact more actively than those who are not confident, but too much eye contact will increase the psychological pressure of the other person. When you are silent, your eyes blink, and the other person will suspect that you are tired of talking. Therefore, in interpersonal communication, the role of eyes can never be ignored, and we should always cultivate our ability to "speak" with our eyes.
(2) Body posture skills
Body posture includes posture and body movements and gestures. In interpersonal communication, people's gestures, looking back, can convey specific attitudes and meanings. Lean slightly to the other side to show enthusiasm and interest; Bend slightly to show politeness; Lean back, showing contempt and arrogance; Turn sideways or turn your back on each other to show disgust and disdain. Different gestures have different meanings. For example, wave to stop or deny; Extrapolation with both hands indicates refusal; Hands spread out to show helplessness; Arm abduction means blocking; Scratching the scalp or neck to express confusion; Rubbing hands and pulling the collar indicate nervousness; Pat the head to express regret or awakening; A thumbs-up is a compliment, and a little finger is a contempt. Some hand movements are easy to cause rudeness, such as pointing your finger at the other person's face, replaying the teacup with one hand, picking your nose in front of the guests, blowing your nose and so on. The same posture has different meanings and feelings when people in different roles use it. For example, when comrades meet again after parting, they hold hands and pat their shoulders to show their affection; Leaders and elders usually praise and encourage subordinates and younger generations to hold hands and clap their shoulders; It is considered disrespectful if subordinates and younger generations clap their hands with leaders and elders casually.
(C) Tone skills
As the saying goes: listen to the sound of gongs and drums. The same sentence can express different or even opposite meanings and emotions when it is said in different tones on different occasions. For example, after a soldier successfully completed his task, the monitor said to him, "You are really good", which is a kind of praise; If the soldier doesn't finish the task, the monitor tells him "You are really good", which means a lot different. This is a kind of blame or ridicule. Therefore, in interpersonal communication, proper use of tone is also an important condition to ensure smooth communication. Generally speaking, a soft tone indicates frankness and friendliness; A high, sharp, slightly trembling voice indicates excitement caused by terror or dissatisfaction or anger; A slow, deep voice expresses sympathy for the other party; Whatever you say means cynicism; Nasal sounds and grunts often show arrogance, indifference, contempt and disapproval, which will naturally cause unhappiness and disgust. Young officers and men should seriously understand the subtlety of tone in interpersonal communication, learn to use tone correctly and enhance the effect of language expression.
Remote skills
Everyone has a need to protect their personal space. This personal space, like an invisible "bubble", has divided a certain "territory" for itself. With the protection of this "bubble", you will feel safe. Once this "bubble" is violated, people will feel uncomfortable, uneasy and even angry. This "bubble" phenomenon is a common psychological phenomenon in interpersonal communication. The size of personal space distance is related to the object, content, occasion and situation of communication. Generally speaking, the closer the relationship between people, the smaller the interpersonal space distance. Psychology divides four communication distances according to different communication objects and situations:
1, the minimum interval, generally within 0.45 meters. This distance belongs to the closest people such as family members and close comrades. People who communicate in close distance, holding hands with each other or having heart-to-heart talks, are close to each other. Intimate distance is exclusive, and people who don't reach that level of intimacy will enter this area, which will cause the other person's disgust.
2. The distance is about 1 meter. This area is very open, and comrades-in-arms or acquaintances can freely enter this space.
3. The distance is1~ 4m. People who keep this distance have gone beyond the intimate or acquaintance interpersonal relationship and embodied a social or polite relationship, which generally appears in the working environment or social gatherings, and the conversation content is more formal and open.
4. exhausted the distance. The communication distance exceeds 4 meters. In this space, the two-way communication between people is greatly reduced, and more is one-way communication, such as speeches and reports. It is very useful for soldiers to know these communication distances in communication. For example, if the relationship between officers and men is good at ordinary times, the content of the conversation is not very critical, and the soldiers are in a good mood at that time, it is best to choose an intimate distance. If the relationship between two people is normal, or the purpose of the conversation is to criticize and educate, or the soldiers are in a bad mood at that time, it will be better to choose personal distance. The distance of saluting each other during marching, the setting of queue training and command position also reflect certain psychological principles to some extent.
The above is the information, I hope it will help you.