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Triggered by the movie A Beautiful Mind.
In this WeChat class, Teacher Lin's homework is to watch the English movie A Beautiful Mind. I can't find the Chinese version, and the plot content is a bit brain-burning. I didn't fully understand it the first time, but I began to read it the second time, trying to sort out the context.

That's when the bad state began.

John? Nash is the hero of the film, a mathematical genius. He has worked out the game theory and successfully entered the world's top laboratories, but the seeds of suffering have already been planted behind the seemingly prosperous. Nash didn't go to class for the study of game theory. On the eve of graduation, other students have made dazzling academic achievements, but Nash can't even determine the direction of his graduation thesis. The severe warning given by the professor brought great mental pressure to Nash, so that he began to fantasize about his prodigal roommate Charles. Although Nash completed the study of game theory with a 26-page essay before graduation, which was highly recognized by the industry, schizophrenia and the characters and stories constantly fabricated due to division plagued him all his life.

Nash was once tortured by schizophrenia, and his wife Ai Lisha accompanied him all the time. Faced with this special genius, Ai Lisha spent half his life supporting the life of this special family, and was crushed by reality several times, but he didn't give up in the end. Although she didn't pay for Naixu's recovery, Naixu can live a quiet life with illness. Although she still can't get rid of the illusion, she can live in peace with her.

From 1948 to 1994, Naish experienced schizophrenia for 46 years. He didn't commit suicide, degenerate or give up, and finally won the Nobel Prize, which won the high respect of the club members. That was the starting point of his division and the pinnacle of his honor. Seeing this, I should have been in awe and prostration, but what I obviously felt inside was unspeakable pain and fear. Disease is frightening and time is chilling. I'm not Nash. I don't have that talent. I can't create that achievement. I'm troubled by depression. I don't know what can make me walk out of the haze persistently and firmly. I thought the disease was not so terrible, I thought it wouldn't last long, but if I had to stay with it all my life, I would still be afraid.

Without arousing fighting spirit, I can't curl up and fall into fear of the unknown. What should I do with myself if it will eventually linger? This is my real worry at the moment. Without whitewashing and rendering, I feel this feeling quietly and really live in the present.