Always go to every stage of life alone and settle down from a completely strange environment. After graduating from primary school, there was a junior high school nearby, but I went to a junior high school 40 minutes away from home to study. I finally got acquainted with them and became a part of them; Obviously there are several high schools nearby to choose from, but he boldly told his tutor: "I'm going to Taipei to take the high school exam!" " "I first learned about Yi Bei Women's University, Zhongshan, Jingmei and other schools. I asked the teacher about the order of volunteering, but he was not sure, but he finally arranged it for me. He didn't ask how to settle down after he was admitted. I didn't mention it. That's my own business. I didn't mention it to my family until I got the admission ticket. My family always ignores my homework.
At that time, my father had just died for two years, my mother went out to work as a father, my grandmother was in charge of the fields and home, I was the boss, and my younger brother and sister only went to primary school. Who cares about me? I don't need anyone to remind me. I fought with God and said to myself, "If you are worthless, this family will be finished!" " "
At the age of fifteen, I packed my first luggage and took away my toothbrush and towel. I walked around in front of the house, trying to remember home, hiding in the well and crying, and suddenly I was five years old. I don't envy others who are still rolling around in their parents' arms at the age of fifteen, with their eyes wide open, but I have to fight for myself, and I can't be cowardly with one knife and one sword.
So, I spend three hours in Taipei every day, alone, going back and forth to a high school in Xinbeitou and my relatives' home in Fuxing South Road. In front of Taipei Railway Station, I took the woman who sold rice balls in the morning as my mother. Sitting on the train on the Tamsui line, the rice ball chewed up the books, and every book was rotten. In class, I closed my eyes and knew that the teacher had said the wrong age.
At that time, the reading atmosphere in the school was not strong, and many people rushed to date, dance and visit Shilin night market after school. If the situation is good, they will go to cram school. I don't have the right to play, and I don't have the funds for extracurricular tutoring. I am still hard-tempered, so I don't believe that the examination questions can knock me down. I must go to a good university.
If you push yourself like this, normal 17 and 18 years old will also collapse physically and mentally. Ordinary, unknown friends, chasing movie stars, exchanging love letters, have no interest. I want to talk about the confusion of life and future dreams, but they can't get up. I just talk to the manuscript paper. When I get lost, I write articles and contribute. After the second class is over all day, I rush to the mailbox at the entrance of the Academic Affairs Office to see if there is any letter for me. If the magazine sends me news, I will be happy to read it again and see my eyes are red; When the newspaper supplement sent back the rejection, it was torn to pieces and fed into the trash can. I thought, "One day ..." For that day, suffering is worth it.
I have always been very enterprising and want to know everything. Indulge in writing, even search other people's works, and see your eyes get angry. They write well, but I can't. I have to find out where the truth is in order to make progress. I often take the famous works in the supplements of two major newspapers and tick every word with a red pen. I don't carry them. I dissected them, studied textures and blood vessels, and gradually realized that there are different ways, and I also understood that celebrities sometimes collapse. At that time, I was poor and couldn't afford world famous books. I stood in the bookstore and read them quickly. Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter, Hesse's Song of the Wanderer, Tagore's Complete Works, Tilstein's Caucasian Story ... Some paid for it, some browsed it, hoping to become millionaires in the future, and they were willing to get married and go home blindly. "The world is too big, life is bigger than the world, and literature is wider than life!" I am determined to go to literature and never look back.
A young life without an aim is like a boat floating on the sea. I know the direction of my life, and getting into college is just my immediate goal. I know why I want to go to college, not because of social values, teachers' expectations or blind diplomacy, but because of my great dream of life.
During the summer vacation of my sophomore year, I wrote back to Yilan, informing me that I had moved from my relatives' home to a villa near Datunshan School and rented 300 yuan on a monthly basis. Because there is no money to go to cram school, I have to draw up a "college entrance examination battle plan" myself.
So I won't go home to cut rice this year. "There are nine hundred and eighty-seven pieces of payment and part-time money, which will take two months. Please rest assured at home that I will win the battle. "
Every day, I get up at four o'clock in the morning to read early. According to the operation strategy, I must review all subjects all the time this summer, finish reading my senior three class (I found my sister's old textbook), do at least one question bank, test paper and joint exam questions collected from various cram schools and star schools over the years, and "check my strength" every half month-see which "fucking school" I can enter. I want to sleep, but I can't. I'm beginning to think that fighting needs wisdom and hard work, not a "boxer"! Think about why no one wants to eat dead cows, and fried veal steak is also delicious. So the "battle plan" was changed to "College Entrance Examination Cooking Hall", and banquets were arranged according to their own interests and appetites and according to the timetable from waking to drowsiness. So, history became me, dressed in ancient costumes, traveling freely in just visiting, interviewing Qin Shihuang about how to annex the six countries, having dinner with Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty about foreign invasion, and walking his horse with Genghis Khan. You can also point to Guangxu and scold:
"You coward, why are you so afraid of Cixi? Won't you send an assassin to' solve' her? " Geography is easy to handle. It was my trip around the world with my beloved Prince Charming. Mathematics is really a bit nerve-racking, trigonometric functions are really not like stories. The "Three People's Principles" decided to stay until one month before the entrance examination, and then fight with revolutionary mood to serve the seventy-two martyrs in Huanghuagang.
One day I took a nap and dreamed that I only got more than 200 points in the exam. I am depressed, and fear has become a bubble in my life. Insects are everywhere at night, and the loneliness in the future is full. In my diary, I wrote, "Where am I going? Where will I go? "
There is a stack of unfinished manuscripts in the drawer, including the story of a high school boy who ran away from home. If you want to write it down and put it in, simply put a seal on the drawer dedicated to manuscripts and writing outlines, as if the only property had been seized by the court.
That's settled. In senior three, when the students of generate are suffering from miscellaneous diseases, struggling to study, or running around in the cram school like headless flies, I must be as absent-minded as a rock. I continue to arrange my reading plan according to my schedule. Although the results of the class exam in the third semester of senior high school are very poor, I abandoned the teacher's teaching progress and exam plan and followed my own schedule. I don't worry, I don't panic, and I never go wrong. I like to ask "why" when reading and think about the answer. Sometimes the questions in "Chinese" must be answered from "history", and the questions in "history" can get clues from "geography". Living reading is more profound than memorizing, and it's fun. After repeated reading, if you have a mirror in your chest and connect the knowledge of Chinese, history and geography to prove it, it seems that you can see the glory of the past. A week before the entrance examination, my classmates were embarrassed and stayed up late to catch up with the progress, but I did nothing. Instead, go to the market to eat red bean ice, buy tomatoes to make fried rice with eggs, take a walk in the mountain path in the morning and evening, and live comfortably for a few days. In fact, virtually, my mind is reorganizing and activating all the contents I have read, making the branches of knowledge more intensive and forming strength. I am very confident. I can tell the truth about any question I ask.
On the day of the joint exam, most people felt like going to the execution ground, and I felt like a garden party. I heard that a classmate got the test paper, his eyes were black, his palms were sweating and his abdomen was cramped. I find it incredible. I'm so steady, I've got all the papers on Chinese, history and geography, and I feel like I'm taking an examination of primary school students. How could the teacher come up with such a simple question and snigger? After the bell rings, the students either turn to the books to find the standard answer and complain, or go to their families to worry. I don't have anyone to accompany me in the exam, and I also think that my family, like a "pilgrimage group", will only hurt the morale of the troops. I didn't bring any books. If I pass the exam, I won't think about it. I have nothing to do. I buy soda and drink it while walking, just like patrolling. I've figured it out, even if the department is not ideal when I arrive at National Taiwan University, it's better to choose a free academic environment and then transfer to another department than to fill in a few volunteers and then squeeze my head and transfer to another department. I want to force myself to grow up in an environment where talents gather and experts come forth in large numbers. Therefore, all six departments of the College of Liberal Arts of National Taiwan University have filled it out. My classmate asked me, "What if I go to the Department of Archaeology?" I said, "Then dig the grave!" When the teacher looked at my volunteer form, she also trimmed her eyebrows. This is just the handwriting of an unsuspecting person. I still insist on filling it out from beginning to end. How can life be satisfied at once? I put the choice of school in the first place, and when I entered the big environment, I said, "It doesn't matter which department I entered, what matters is which department I graduated from!" It doesn't matter which department you graduated from, which line is more important in the future! "I don't always think that the entrance exam can decide my life. There are still many variables in the future. Most of them are examples of entering my first voluntary sector and changing careers after graduation. I would rather spend a year trying to figure out which department I was in when I was a sophomore than studying from scratch four years later. For me, it is the decision of this life.
After the list was released, I packed my luggage in the hut rented in Datun Mountain City and opened it at once. Diaries and articles left by three years of high school life were set on fire, and my youth was reduced to ashes in fire and tears. I don't care about those troubles, joys and sorrows, and I don't need to save them. I know I'm going to a strange place again and starting from scratch, just like fate gave me a blank sheet of paper at every stage in the past.
In the constant drifting, I feel that my life is weighty and meaningful, which is the biggest gain. I left the protection of my family too early, learned to be independent, and learned to make decisions for my life. Although I can't have a happy adolescence like ordinary people, I have also learned how to become an eagle ready to take off in the wilderness that children of the same age can't reach. When everything is lacking and no one supports me, I am surprised that I can sharpen my ability and protect myself from "making something out of nothing". This kind of training is more important than getting into the university you want-
Or on the other hand, because of this kind of training, it is possible to go to the university in my mind. Young life contains all kinds of potentials. The sooner you develop yourself, the more you can take off. Unfortunately, most people are addicted to the protection of their families and only know how to make fishing rods. In fact, learning to fish is a great training. Some people may have been defeated by broken families, and they don't know how to regard the harsh environment as the "Shaolin Temple period" in their lives and practice a set of martial arts. Everyone has different difficulties in growing up, but I still believe that the love of life and the persistent pursuit of dreams will lead us out of the predicament. Don't easily think that today is the end, because tomorrow's sun is different from today.
Looking back on my high school career now, in just three years, I have started an important direction in my life. I hope to transfer to the Chinese Department and become a writer. When I was a teenager, I hated God, but now I know how to be grateful.
Because, when he gives you a wilderness, it means that he wants you to be a soaring eagle.