Filial piety answer: save mother first. If my mother hadn't given birth to me, I wouldn't have the chance to enjoy life, feel life, get married and have children at all. These are the opportunities my mother gave me.
Romantic answer: I choose to save my wife, because my mother has already experienced a life. As for my son, we will have new children and form a complete family with my wife.
The sensible husband said: I choose to save my son. Because he is the youngest, his future life is the longest and most worthwhile.
Who would you be? Everyone's choice will be different, so what made you choose?
It is natural for American soldiers to surrender when ammunition and food are exhausted, contact is interrupted, and they can't break through in the face of strong enemies. Under the irresistible circumstances of powerful external forces, it is wise for American soldiers to surrender, which is a way to save and respect lives. For example, in the Vietnam War and the Korean War, as long as the situation is at a disadvantage, then American soldiers will voluntarily surrender, for nothing else, but surrendering when resisting is a wise move and a way to save and respect lives. For example, in the Vietnam War and the Korean War, as long as the situation is at a disadvantage, then American soldiers will voluntarily surrender, for nothing but to keep themselves alive. This is the most important thing. Sometimes officers will take the lead in surrendering.
However, China's army rarely surrendered. Even if he is the only one left in his camp, he will rush up with a gun. American soldiers can't understand why China soldiers can fight so hard. American soldiers believe that if you can't win the war, don't make unnecessary sacrifices. China's army has an unyielding manly spirit and will never give up until the last moment of life.
What made the Chinese and American armed forces make completely different choices?
The answer is: values.
The so-called values mean that everyone has a basic criterion for doing anything. This criterion determines whether you do it or not, and the defining line is this person's values. To put it bluntly, values are a person's orientation and choice of right and wrong, good and evil, beauty and ugliness, and are the internal driving force for people to do things. It determines how much energy it takes a person to do one thing. If a person thinks that power is above everything else, then chasing power is the core motivation for this person to do things; If a person thinks that money is above everything else, then seeing money is the standard for this person to do things; If a person thinks that happiness is above everything else, then whether he can get pleasure is his code of conduct. This code of conduct determines whether a person does it or not, and the time and energy that this person spends on it. ?
The second realm effect of time management requires us to adhere to the priority of doing things, and the important basis for judging whether a thing belongs to "priority" is our values. When making a choice, people will rely on an internal value system to choose a relatively more worthwhile one. In your value system, is it more important to borrow money or friends? Is it more important to find a girlfriend? Is it more important to find a girlfriend? Is it more important to change jobs? Is it more important to enjoy life on weekends or study for your career?
The film "Nothing" finally said: "I hope that when you are hit, remember your own preciousness and resist malice; I hope that when you are confused, you firmly believe in your own preciousness, love what you love, do what you do, listen to your heart, and have nothing to ask for. " This actually tells us that we should follow our personal values at all times and do things that conform to our own values.
In movies, people of different times have different values, so pilots need to choose between the feelings of their families and their own blood to save the country. Chen Peng and Li think they need to choose between love, ideal, honor and career. Fruit needs to choose between personal interests, boss interests and stranger interests. There is no right or wrong choice for them. The important thing is to "listen to your heart, don't ask about the west and the east", that is, to follow your inner values.
Values are acquired in socialized life and gradually cultivated and developed. A person's social environment, including family and school, plays an important role in the formation of his values. It is gradually formed and established under the condition of accumulating knowledge and rich experience. Once a person's values are established, they are relatively stable, and the formed value orientation and behavior set will not be easily changed. ?
Everyone has their own values, but most people don't think clearly and don't know what is the most important thing in life. When many people become adults, their values are suppressed or ignored. They try to live in the surrounding environment, such as the values of companies, organizations or friends, communities, families and so on. Instead of really living according to your own values. Most people work 40-50 hours a week, doing jobs they don't like. They feel anxious and busy, but they feel that they are too busy to have a purpose, and even regret what they did in the past. Because you give up what you think is important, you will lose the direction and meaning of life and always feel dissatisfied and unhappy. In addition, if a person doesn't know and understand his own values, it is easy to suffer and struggle when faced with important choices, and he doesn't know what is the best choice. In order to manage time well, create higher life value and win a happy life, we have to ask ourselves: What are my values and how can I use them to guide my future life and work? Here are five ways to introduce yourself:
First, the mirror test method
At the beginning of the 20th century, the German ambassador to Britain was the most respected diplomat among all the great powers in London at that time. Obviously, he is destined to take on a heavy responsibility, even if he is not the prime minister of his own country, he will at least be the foreign minister. However, in 1906, he suddenly resigned and refused to host the dinner hosted by the diplomatic mission for King Edward VII of England. The king is a notorious womanizer. He made it clear what kind of dinner he wanted to attend. According to related reports, the German ambassador once said, "I don't want to see a pimp in the mirror when shaving in the morning." This is the mirror test.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, what kind of person do you see? What do you like about him and what do you hate about him? Through such thinking, we can have a clearer understanding of our values.
Second, the test method of newspaper headlines
The newspaper test method is to think when you make a decision: tomorrow, if what you do is published as a headline in a newspaper, your relatives and friends will read it. Will you be ashamed of it? Will you be unable to face your conscience? If not, what you do is worthy of your own values.
Kai-fu Lee was laid off while working at Apple. At that time, Li Kaifu had to lay off one of the two employees. The first employee graduated from Carnegie Mellon University and was Kai-fu Lee's brother. I wrote an excellent paper more than ten years ago, but I was withdrawn, stubborn, didn't work hard and didn't achieve anything after I joined the company. When he knew that he was facing a crisis, he asked his teacher, like Li Kaifu, to express the hope that I could care about the friendship of my classmates and let him go. The other is a new employee who has just joined the company for two months. He hasn't had time to show off, but he should be a potential employee. Li Kaifu's inner values of "justice" and "responsibility" told him that he should fire his brother, but Li Kaifu's concepts of "sympathy" and "gratitude" told him that he should keep his brother and fire new employees.
Therefore, Kai-fu Lee gave himself a "newspaper test". Imagine which headline he most wants to see in tomorrow's newspaper: (1) selfish Kai-Fu Lee lays off innocent employees; (2) The ruthless Kai-fu Lee laid off his classmate's brother.
Although Kai-Fu Lee is extremely reluctant to see either of these two "headlines", in contrast, the first one has dealt a greater blow to Kai-Fu Lee because it violates Kai-Fu Lee's most basic principle of good faith. If it violates the principle of good faith, then Kai-Fu Lee will not face the company leaders and will not be qualified to be a professional manager again. So, Kai-fu Lee laid off his seniors, and then Kai-fu Lee told him that he would try his best to help him if he needed anything in the future.
Third, the retrospective summary method
Step 1: Please meditate. What impressed or important things in your life?
Step 2: Write down on paper why these things are impressive/most important to me. "? Write down all the answers that flash through your mind. Don't make any judgment at this stage. No matter how strange and funny the answer is!
Step 3, choose 5-7 values you wrote down. Then press 1-5/7. It's probably not easy to know what's most important and what's not. You can get rid of one of them and see what will happen if you don't have it in your life. Keep asking yourself questions, it may not take a while, it may take a few days or even longer, but don't stop. Straight man. After you put them away.
Write down your three most important values. Then think about what each value means to you. What can be done to maximize this value? For example, if family is one of your core values, how can you succeed in family life? If one of your core values is "happiness", what is happiness? You should have a specific and clear understanding of your values.
The fifth step is to see if your current work, life and interpersonal relationship conform to your values. Your values reflect who you are and what is important to you. Use it to measure you and keep asking yourself whether your current behavior is moving in the direction you want. For example, if health is the core value, what should be done to be healthy? If you eat too much for delicious food, or watch TV too late, you will not live as required. There is a gap between core values and behavior.
Please take a week to see how you use your time. Make a record. Only in this way can you clearly know whether your core values are reflected in your life. If not, you have to adjust your life. Sometimes this adjustment is very big, such as changing jobs.
Special note: Because some of our values are deeply rooted, we may not realize it when we write them ourselves. But when you see the following examples of values, you are likely to be inspired to find your own unconscious values.
Fourth, the infiltration method of idol behavior
List 3-5 people you respect most, and carefully analyze their performance or deeds you respect. What values do these performances or deeds reflect? Please refer to the glossary of the following values. For the remaining steps, please refer to the third to fifth steps of "Review and Summary Method".
Five, the dragonfly on the tombstone
If you are a dragonfly on your tombstone, you can hear the eulogy of your family, friends and colleagues at your funeral. What words do you want them to use to describe you? What values do these words represent? Please refer to the glossary of the following values. For the remaining steps, please refer to the third to fifth steps of "Review and Summary Method".
Values vocabulary:
Realization/success, independence, beauty, challenge, communication, ability, competition, courage, creativity, curiosity, decision/decision/reliability, discipline, diversity, efficiency/effectiveness, empathy, equality, family, flexibility, freedom, friendship, growth, happiness, harmony, health, honesty, hope, modesty and modesty.