Reading is a process of acquiring knowledge, but it is also a process of thinking, a process of establishing children's way of thinking, and a process of establishing a beautiful connection between children and books. Then this "connection between children and books" is infinitely magnified, and children and the world get along happily and beautifully. If the child can reach this stage, what is there to worry about?
High-quality exam-taking and social performance are the standards of children who love reading (unfortunately, many children love reading, but they don't do this. Parents can refer to the previous articles to reflect on the depth and breadth of children's reading and the degree of construction of children's thinking logic during reading.
The concept of "window and mirror" was put forward by Emily Steyr. This word first appeared in the book Listen to All Voices published by 1988. I saw this term when I wrote my graduation thesis many years ago. At that time, I talked with my classmates about the concept of mirror window for a long time, but I still stayed at the level of noun explanation. It was not until I had children, studied with them for more than ten years, participated in many reading projects, met many children of various types and saw many children with super reading ability that I realized more deeply the role of "windows and mirrors" in children's reading process.
What are good parents?
This problem is too difficult, because every parent has his own cognition, but we can have a highly unified understanding: let children grow up happier, have food and clothing, and be better themselves. Or add: let children bravely pursue their ideals.
But more often, we ignore the most important point. No matter how powerful the parents are, our children will eventually live in this world on their own. Therefore, parents should try their best to help their children accurately locate themselves, including their various existence values in this world.
Achievement is not all, but reading is an indispensable part of life.
We build up our awareness of ourselves by reading and understanding different knowledge and cultures, which is just like looking in the mirror. Reading has the ability to let children know more about themselves, which is an internalization process.
When we know ourselves well enough, we can find our own value through big reading and active socialization, find a sense of belonging in reading, and let children know a wider world through a broader reading carrier.
I understand the principle of "mirror and window", and I understand that their formation path is like this:
① Parents provide their children with a growing environment for reading and cultivate their interest in reading.
② Children form their own cognition by reading the text (just like looking in the mirror and knowing themselves).
Children find their own value through big reading and a sense of belonging through big reading.
Only when children find a sense of belonging can they better adapt to the world, adapt to the world and live a happy life.
Perhaps after reading these, many people will think that reading is reading more.
It is true to read more books, but parents should spend more time with their children to "read" in order to maximize the benefits of the principle of "mirror and window".
In the book, children can find themselves, know themselves, locate themselves and find their own value. But many big reading activities also have the same function.
For example: museums, public lectures, drama performances, stage performances, tourism, study tours, community activities and so on. In all kinds of experiences, children can look at a thing from their own perspective and others' perspective. Of course, for many families, reading is the fastest, most effective and most convenient means.
Children can be judged by character, character, story logic and the three views that the author wants to convey. They can also look at some things from their own experience, or from the perspective of others (parents, classmates, teachers). The formation of this view, from the perspective of books, from the perspective of others, from their own perspective, with introverted and extroverted thinking, can help children to carry out "* * *" thinking in some views.
For example, children can see a role's "relatively correct" attitude and method in dealing with something through reading, and they will also imitate the principles and methods of a role in the book when encountering something. When they acquire more and more correct "attitudes and methods", they will be able to reverse and change many "incomplete self-consciousness".
It is difficult for children to understand the realm of "mirror and window". Parents should give their children time to lengthen the timeline to 10 years or 20 years, and their children will certainly have a deeper understanding. My parents are teachers, and I grew up in the library when I was a child. More than 30 years have passed, and I have a little experience about the "internalization and extension" of reading. It is not important for children to understand this concept, but parents must have feelings and understanding.
To what extent should children master this logical relationship? How should parents judge? I think it is a good performance for children to do this (before entering the university).
(1) Children can compare themselves with the characters in the book through reading and find their love points.
For example, after reading a book, children constantly feel that they are really like someone in the book, or that someone in the book is themselves at all, or that they really like a role and want to be like them. When children have such an understanding, it is actually the process of their internalization. When children turn this knowledge into action, this is the process of children's externalization. Internalization is to know yourself by reading as a "mirror", while externalization is to use a "window" to transform knowledge into a process of getting along with the world.
Reflect on your words and deeds and some opinions through reading, and reflect on what you have done is not very good.
When the child reaches this state, he has actually reached the position of "window" and can act. This is change. Save the world like the characters in the book? Love life as much as the ideas conveyed in the book? Or fighting swords to punish evil and promote good? These are externalization after internalization, and they are actions.
As long as there is a lot of reading, some of your children's words, deeds and ways of getting along with the world are bound to be influenced by a book, so if you want your children to make more changes and have more positive awareness and actions of getting along with the world, you must give them more and better "reading input".
3 Children build up some healthy self-confidence through a lot of reading, form their own value recognition, and accept and like their true selves.
Through the process of internalization and externalization, children accumulate self-confidence, which is manifested in better academic performance, stronger public speaking ability, more prominent social activity ability, more stable ability to deal with emergencies and stronger ability to resist stress. ...
When our children constantly enrich their multi-dimensional ability values, they will definitely become what everyone calls "other people's children."
④ Constantly practice "self-identity", and verify the "self-identity" obtained in reading through more open reading and life practice, and verify whether this "value identity" only stays in reading or has a high degree of consistency in life.
For example, a point that children get from books (helping others is positive) is consistent with real life (whether children will get positive affirmation and praise for helping others in life). When children can find more consistency, they can get along with the world in a friendly way, share their interesting lives politely and share their goodwill in a friendly way.
When parents understand this, they can share these principles more with their children in their lives, use these skills, encourage more diversified reading patterns, and actively help their children build their ability to get along with the world. When parents know and take action, all our expectations for children will come true.
Author: Yan Lu, author of best-selling books such as "Life is the best education" and "What should children do if they fall in love with parents", and one of the planners of the national scientific parenting demonstration zone!