A candidate in Nanjing

As the exam approached, the teacher said to me earnestly, "I heard that you go to bed early every night and like reading idle books." I want to advise you to make full use of weekends and evenings and be nervous. " My mother keeps nagging. Why can't I read idle books anymore? Should I learn 10 at night? Xiaoming next door spent the whole day reviewing things at home on weekends. ...

Am I really wrong? Should I listen to my teachers and parents? Let yourself stare at books and write every day, and live a boring life? Should I change my way of life and study? But I think I did the right thing. Yes! No matter what others think, I just have a clear conscience. I am responsible for my own life.

In the morning, when the sun rises in the beautiful east, I make myself a cup of green tea and put it on the table. The tender tea buds give off a mellow fragrance and spread in my hut. Suddenly I feel particularly refreshed. After reciting, I sipped gently, as if every cell was spreading, just like returning to the gloomy forest of nature, feeling the breeze and feeling relaxed and happy.

At noon, I listened to light music, sitting alone on the floor of my bedroom, bathed in the bright sunshine flowing out of the window, holding "300 Tang Poems" in my hand, intoxicated by the ocean of poetry. ...

In the afternoon, after a short rest and two hours of review, I put on my sneakers and jerseys, put my basketball in the basket, and rode to the stadium with my friends to enjoy the sweat of youth. My happiness and vitality spread to my whole body little by little, which made me feel very comfortable.

In the evening, after a short study, I am filled with the joy of today and the longing for tomorrow? Slowly fell asleep.

One day, two days ... a model test finally came. I sat in the quiet examination room, with a clear plan, easily answered the test paper, checked it carefully and handed it in.

One day, two days, three days ... the score finally came out, ranking second in the class and improving by four places, which caused a sensation in the class. Although the teacher didn't praise me, I saw joy in his eyes. But he doesn't know that I didn't do what he asked!

Through this experience, I strengthened my will. I am my youth and the master of my life, as long as I think it is right.

The third grade is tense and busy, but it is not. In my opinion, a poetic life is also possible.

Comments by famous teachers:

Pawn stamp? Ambition is profound. The most exquisite part of the article lies in the end of the article, which is not only closely related to the topic, but also ambitious, especially in the last paragraph, "The third grade is busy, but it is not. In my opinion, a poetic life is also possible. " He expressed his unique and profound understanding after being a master-life in grade three should be a combination of rest and relaxation, and he can be his own master behind the hectic schedule, making his study and life poetic and giving people useful enlightenment.

The whole has changed and the contrast is sharp. The main part of the article describes in detail how he arranged his poetic life in the order of "morning, noon, afternoon and evening" in the busy third grade. The four sections are different in length, neat and beautiful, and varied. ? Outside, the teacher's exhortation and mother's nagging are in sharp contrast with the later exam results, effectively highlighting the center.

The scoring point has a lofty idea and a unique feeling.

Score 50 points

Excellent composition, scholarly company, scholarly company.

Yancheng yi candidates

For me, reading is really a pleasure. Sitting in the examination room at this time, I saw the composition topic of "Shuxiang Company" and couldn't help but recall the day when I fell in love with scholarly writing!

Before? I am not interested in reading. That day, it was raining outside in Mao Mao, and because I couldn't go out to play, I had to reluctantly pick up a book that I had never turned over-Selected Prose of Zhu Ziqing.

Lying in a small bed, flipping the pages that have almost turned yellow at will, smelling the unpleasant smell on the pages, I feel extremely depressed. Looking at the boring topic over and over again, suddenly an article called "Looking at Flowers" caught my attention. I have loved flowers since I was a child. I was curious about this article and began to read it. One begonia after another makes me pleasing to the eye, just like a handsome and romantic teenager with a touch of heroism; And the plum blossom that stands upright in the wind and rain, like a beautifully dressed girl, is not only moving, but also has a tenacious spirit, which is really admirable. Gradually, I was intoxicated by the fragrance of flowers, and the beautiful flowers seemed to smile at me slightly.

There is also the charming "Moonlight on the Lotus Pond", "The leaves are high above the water, like a graceful dance skirt. Layers of leaves are dotted with some white flowers, some of which bloom gracefully and some are in bud shyly; Like a pearl, like a star in the blue sky, like a beauty who just took a bath. The breeze blew and sent a faint fragrance, like a faint song on a tall building in the distance. " Indeed, I have never seen such a beautiful scenery. Only today, I saw the fairyland beauty here. Fantasy, there are several star-like lights on the lotus pond, or humming a tune, or enjoying the beautiful scenery around, watching Ye Er and the moon, embracing the earth, talking to the sky, and enjoying the infinite comfort under the breeze!

Take it. This book is like a magic wand, which can bring me happiness and make the world full of fragrance. I didn't want to put it down for a long time, but the delicate language in this book touched me; It was the detailed description in this book that moved me; It was the happy smiling faces of the flowers that touched me. This article is like a piece of music, which is memorable and lovely!

That day, I took books as my companion, which is still fresh in my memory. It is from that day on that I have a soft spot for books. This book is like a beautiful scenery, which makes people intoxicated; This book is like music, which makes people memorable; This book is like the sky, which broadens my horizons. Sitting in a boat floating in a book makes people feel very comfortable and can't put it down!

Only those who can read are noble people. I believe, exquisite articles, touching paragraphs, exquisite words? , will you give it? Infinite power, let me roam freely in the ocean of knowledge, let me keep learning intoxicating words!

Comments by famous teachers:

Clear thinking. Focusing on the composition topic of "scholarly companionship", the article recalls the reading contents and scenes of the day when I fell in love with scholarly companionship, and then writes the life experience of scholarly companionship and the benefits of reading for my growth.

The language of light. Candidates use rich imagination and colorful language to express the bright mood of sunny teenagers. Words are fragrant, so are good books. This exercise, born in the examination room, is so fresh and delicate. Although a little childish, it makes people fondle it.

A clear theme. At the end of the article, two paragraphs mainly focus on lyric comments, telling people that "only those who can read are noble people? This truth encourages people to read more and keep company with books.

The selection of scoring points is novel and ingenious.

Score 60 points

Let me tell you quietly, let me tell you quietly.

Nantong examinee

A flowing water, a little falling flowers, affects my mood. The high mountains and flowing water seem to tell a sad and eternal story. Weak and delicate Lin Daiyu, you are a gust of wind that I look up to.

With gratitude, you came to earth. Your name seems to indicate your life, and the black jade is full of meaningful beauty and gentle sadness. "The cold light shines on the wall, but the window is not warm." You are very dependent and helpless, but it also refines your lofty character of not going with the flow.

You will fight for your dignity and personality. People often say that you are narrow-minded, you can't tolerate a bad word from others, and you can't watch Baoyu play chess with other girls. People often say that you have nothing to do, and you have nothing to think about. You don't know how to plan your future, and you don't know how to be smooth sailing, which makes you hit a wall everywhere. People often say that you are "arrogant and confident, and now you are clean". You lose your temper easily, and the last sentence, "If you don't lament for me, where will flowers fall and people die?" I don't know. "But they don't know your distinctive personality. Your abnormal performance is only a rebellion and resistance to feudal ethics, and it is a ruthless irony and attack on feudal society!

How many fresh people were bound and how many rare talents were buried in that dark age of the Red Chamber. Who can express the constant pursuit of "clean quality" like Dai Yu, and life becomes insignificant in Dai Yu's eyes. Daiyu knew that she had to learn to be impressed, so she chose sadness. Some people say, "Sorrow is a fog bead on a flower, a brilliant sunset glow on the water, and a sigh of contentment in the depths of love." Yes, Daiyu is the best interpretation of it!

I often watch the full moon on the fifteenth night, the prosperity and hypocrisy of the city. People? His personality was polished, and he hastily abandoned his soul in a dark corner. Even if it is covered with dust, no one will step in and pick it up A real person should be as angular as Daiyu, with a distinct personality and a constant pursuit of holiness. This is the true meaning of life.

Lin Daiyu is an indelible landscape in my heart, and the beauty of this landscape can only be truly appreciated through perspective with the purest soul in my heart.

"Flowers bloom all over the sky. Who has pity when the fragrance dies? "

Lin Daiyu, I tell you quietly: "I admire you so much, I am your fan-hardcore jade powder".

Comments by famous teachers:

The contrast is sharp, and the intention is high. Do candidates compare everyone's evaluation of Daiyu with their own views? In the eyes of the world, Daiyu is narrow-minded, cynical and arrogant; Candidates believe that this seemingly abnormal performance is actually her rebellion and break with feudal society, and her persistence and unremitting pursuit of her own beliefs. She does not go with the flow, let alone go with the flow. What's more commendable is that candidates point out that this is precisely the essence, spirit and spirit that people in today's society lack, and it is refreshing to have a lofty mind.

Flexible use of poetry, literary talent flying. Undeniably, candidates are familiar with the original works by heart. There are all kinds of famous articles and sentences in A Dream of Red Mansions, and they are quoted properly, such as "No elegy for me, I don't know when flowers will fall and people will die" and "Flowers will bloom all over the sky, and fragrance will dissipate who will pity". These sentences add a lot of bright colors to the article, which is as popular as water and as beautiful as the first step. Its luck? Language strength and ease of use as good as the wind.

Profound scores, elegant talent.

Score 65 points

A good composition depends on your heart.

Yangzhou examinee

"Herbs by the roadside are small and self-sufficient souls." Because I care about those weak lives, I cherish them.

-inscription

Sixteen is a beautiful and sensitive age? It seems that I got rid of the tomboy character overnight. In the fragrance of Cinnamomum camphora, my eyes became inexplicably gentle and meticulous, and I began to care about the beautiful life I had never paid attention to before.

No longer arrogant, go straight ahead and start to care about the opening of a flower in the gap on the roadside. With a gentle mood, I crouched down and watched the white flower stretch a gentle smile day by day. Care about such a transparent and brilliant soul in the sun, care about her floral fragrance.

No longer like when I was a child, I caught an ant with my fingers and put it in my palm to play. I began to care about the life of every ant. Gently pass through their busy team in the grass, and draw a path with branches for them to carry. Stop kicking their order and start caring about the ordinary and humble wishes of every ant? .

No? Beat the swallow's warm home under grandma's eaves with a bamboo pole and care about the fate of every swallow. When the weather is sunny, I care about their every clear cry. When it's stormy, I open the screen window and put it in the weak elf. I make a warm nest for it with a shoe box, let it fly again in the sun and stare at its dark and lovely back until it disappears.

No longer shake the weak body of the small tree with chubby hands like when I was a child. I began to learn to loosen the soil for it bit by bit with my grandfather's hoe, and watered and trimmed it carefully until it proudly opened a pleasant shade in the summer sun. Sitting under the tree gently, I couldn't bear to pick the smallest green leaves, but I began to care about every insect-eaten scar on the tree.

No more willfully pulling out clusters of green bristlegrass? Head, began to care about their dance in the sun, fingers brushed away the tiny fluff on their heads, fingertips as if bathed in the sun, a warm.

In the sunshine, I carefully and seriously looked at the trees and grass that I had never cared about before, as well as the swallows under the eaves, flowers and ants in the grass. Because I began to care, these weak lives sparkled like diamonds in my eyes, and life was painted with a bright color.

Open your fingers, the sun flows down from your fingers, and big transparent flowers bloom on your shoulders, full of fragrance. Care about the sunshine, so warm.

At the age of sixteen, I began to care about the tiny life around me, and I also learned to cherish-cherish life and cherish all the beauty in life.

Comments by famous teachers:

1. Is the content sunny? Rest. Is Yang sixteen? Average age, 16 years old should have sunny feelings. Candidates pay attention to small things, "start to care about the tiny life around them", a flower, an ant, a swallow, a tree, a clump of grass ... paying attention to these beautiful things in nature is the manifestation of a sunny teenager's sunny mentality, reflecting the spiritual growth of a 16-year-old boy.

2. Express in a lyrical atmosphere. The word "no longer" connects ignorant childhood with cherished present. The main part of this paper uses six "no longer" to lead the narrative description, which not only makes the context of the article clear, but also highlights a youthful awakening full of spiritual blending and creates a more intense lyrical atmosphere. At the same time, the language is clean and refined, and there is a precious and moving teenager between the lines? Good feeling.

The music is a little sunny and lyrical.

Score 57 points

Excellent combination cohesion

A candidate in Beijing

"The autumn wind is clear, the moon is bright, the leaves gather and disperse, and Western jackdaw in the west is surprised. It's embarrassing to know when lovesickness will meet ... "At the graduation party, the old class recited the first word in tears. Tears blurred our eyes, and how many feelings condensed in our hearts at this moment!

Do you remember? That's green, fat, red and thin.

A ray of silver light in the light is so eye-catching, we know how much effort has been condensed. The figure of Xiuzhu dancing outside the window, she should remember, right? You are the one who got up earlier than the sun. When the first morning light shone into the campus, you were already waiting for us in the classroom. When the stars are all over the sky, you go with them. It's the morning glow, it's the starlight that whitens your sideburns; We are tired of your body and mind. When we are about to go to the examination room, the campus happens to be covered with grass; When we say goodbye to you, the red branches have turned into spring mud. As we remember, it was falling red that turned into spring mud and made the grass grow.

Do you remember? The lights are dim and people are awake.

Bright light passes through the wall, and we know that the cause of the sun is condensed in this light. Whenever we see this warm light, there is a little warmth in our hearts all over our body. This light is like a mother's eyes staring deeply. The door of the classroom opened gently, and your voice rang in the classroom like a spring breeze. "I really don't listen. Look, what time is it? Go and rest! " There will be a class tomorrow! "The students reluctantly got up and walked out of the classroom." Bang! "The lights went out in the dormitory, and light footsteps sounded in the corridor. We know that when we are all asleep, you must have stayed up all night. The wonderful class the next day is a testimony to your efforts last night. The night is dim and the lights are dim, and tonight is doomed to be sleepless for us.

Do you remember? It's raining fast and the wind is blowing fast.

It was hot just now, and God suddenly turned his face. A gust of wind passed, as if the afternoon had passed, and it seemed to be evening, and the lights were on in the classroom. The rain came with the wind, though not dense, but heavy, hitting the window and banging. "Don't come, teacher! It is our greatest wish that you don't come to class! " We prayed silently in our hearts. The door was open. You came in. It's no exaggeration to describe you as completely embarrassed. Hair is no longer the usual "docile person" and becomes crooked. My body is covered with dust, and some places are covered with rain and mud. Do you know that?/You know what? We all want to cry. But you waved as if nothing had happened, "class!" "No matter the sudden wind and rain, there is only you in the classroom.

……

How can we forget all those past events? We know that these drops condense your selfless love for us!

"Sauvignon Blanc is like a memory, and short acacia is infinite. If I had known it was so embarrassing, why didn't I know each other? " You read aloud with tears in your eyes. As we know, three years of love between teachers and students are all concentrated in this word.

Comments by famous teachers:

Strong enthusiasm and gratitude. In the era of self-centeredness, most of the essays on gratitude express gratitude and reward to parents, especially to the closest mother of children. However, there are few articles in the examination room that express gratitude to the teacher with strong ink and color. This paper intercepts three kinds of life pictures from daily life to express my deep gratitude to the teacher. Between the lines is full of affection, truth and purity.

Literary background, heavy. The full text quotes or uses a large number of famous ancient poems, embellishes them and is full of poetry. At the same time, it ends with a little poem recited by the teacher, which is more poetic. The article comprehensively uses rhetorical methods such as metaphor, questioning, antithesis and parallelism, with beautiful words and the charm of classical literature.

Poetic and beautiful. The combination of long and short sentences in the article has poetic prosodic beauty, which makes it poetic and elegant. At the same time, the feelings are long and delicate, and the true feelings are it.

Grades, poems and true feelings.

Score 59 points

Reward yourself for your excellent composition.

A candidate in Guangzhou

The poet wrote a good poem, and he would raise a glass and strike music to repay his feelings for Bing Hu Xinyu. When the painter finishes painting, he will look at it from a distance and reward himself for being favored by heaven; Calligraphers who write good handwriting will give themselves a cup of fragrant tea and reward themselves with a refreshing pleasure. In life, we should also learn to reward ourselves, whether it is an object or a spirit. For me, the latter is more precious.

Reward yourself, don't forget to reward a tolerance. Living in this world is full of all kinds of charm. Who can be unaffected by external things and who can make no mistakes, so learn to be tolerant. Tolerance to others is a kind of reward attitude towards your open-minded life; To be tolerant of yourself is to reward yourself with the courage to keep moving forward. "Rivers and seas do not choose small streams, so they can be deep." This is Li Si's suggestion. If Ying Zheng didn't listen to him and withdrew his marching orders, how could he govern the country? "A letter thousands of miles away is just a wall. Why not make people three feet tall?" This is a letter from Zhang Ying, a famous minister in Qing Dynasty. Without this tolerance, how can there be a beautiful talk of "Six-foot Lane"? In fact, forgiving life is for a better life, and forgiving others is rewarding yourself with tolerance. Therefore, when we look back on the past, our hearts are as open as a blank sheet of paper. Isn't this a good reward?

Reward yourself, don't forget to reward a happiness. The meaning of life lies in the attitude of life, and happiness is the choice. People who know how to live a happy life often know more about contentment and gratitude. In this way, they will know how to enjoy the sunshine and rain. Isn't the blind Yang Guang a good example? On the other hand, if a person's eyes only see the gray sky all day and stay away from the crowd, Lacrimosa, then his life will only bring him endless pain, even if there are flowers and beautiful women all over the sky outside the window, what's the point for him? Life can't be all right. You will be more satisfied if you choose to reward yourself with happiness and implant it into your life. In this way, when Xiaoxiang leaves, you will feel that although the leaves are silent, they fly with the wind and live a happy life. Isn't it a reward for beauty?

Reward yourself, don't forget to reward yourself with confidence. No one is born smart, nor does it say that "stupid people" can't succeed. Edison, the great inventor, was once said to be the dumbest newspaper seller, and Einstein, the famous physicist, was once said by the headmaster to be a "child who can do nothing". But when they make brilliant achievements, who can say that they are "stupid"? Therefore, even if you fail, even if you are laughed at by everyone as a "stupid child", don't forget to reward yourself with self-confidence, so that you can be more persistent and don't despair of the unknown future. In this way, when the brush of childhood is taken back again, you can still paint the long river of life with a smile. Isn't this a wonderful reward?

Learn to reward yourself. I spread my hopes all over the field and bowed my head. Even if the spiral staircase of life winds down, when the string of purple wind chimes hangs back to my window, I will reward myself with the joy of talking with the wind gently.

Comments by famous teachers:

1. Strict structural specifications. The article is a parallel essay, which rewards itself with tolerance, happiness and self-confidence, embodies the examinee's good spiritual pursuit, and stands out among many articles with lofty ideals.

2. The language is fluent and natural. At the beginning, a huge language momentum is formed in the form of compound sentence, which highlights the examinee's profound language skills, while the middle paragraphs are plain and refined, and the language is natural.

3. Positive and negative contrast argument. When demonstrating "rewarding happiness", candidates use positive and negative comparative argumentation skills for profound and specific reasons, which shows the degree of mastery of the argument by candidates.

4. Give examples to illustrate typical specifications. When demonstrating "rewarding self-confidence", candidates cite examples of celebrities such as Einstein to accurately explain the important role of self-confidence in a person, which is very convincing.

The center of the scoring point is prominent and the structure is rigorous.