Among them, the discussion on the topic of "chicken baby" has never been broken. When it comes to the characters in the circle of chicken dolls, perhaps the first thing that many people think of is "Tiger Mom" Chua Meier.
In the United States, the Chua Meier family has always been known as an elite family image. She and her husband Jed are professors at Yale Law School, and Leon O. Chua is known as the "father of nonlinear circuits". Both sisters graduated from Yale and can be said to be "full".
She became so famous for the book "Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother" that even Wendi Deng chased her to meet and ask questions about parenting, and even appeared in Time magazine. However, the "alternative" way described in her book not only restricts children's freedom, but also "threatens and intimidates", which has never been broken in the controversy.
Many experts believe that the children educated in this way are either "robots" or mental illnesses. This year, this book coincides with the publication 10 anniversary. Tiger mother's two daughters, who have been married for nearly 20 years, graduated from famous schools one after another, and there was no problem predicted by experts.
After graduating from Yale University, Sophia, the eldest daughter, entered the US Army Military Justice Department. Recently, "Tiger Baby" also announced their engagement, and Tiger Mom also sent a group of photos of her daughter and future son-in-law on Twitter.
In the photo, two people are strolling between lakes and mountains, all kinds of show and love, and the painting style is very suitable.
The future son-in-law Timothy Mitchell is also a talented young man. At present, he is the managing partner of a law firm, very elite. She is also suitable for Hu Ma's family, and both husband and wife are law professors.
Although there are happy events at home, Tiger Mother has been very upset at work recently. At the beginning of this year, a Yale law student accused her of holding private parties with students during the epidemic, taking students to drink and swearing. After this incident broke out, it was directly labeled as "Dinner Gate" by the media, and Tiger Mother was also suspended from Yale Law School.
This is not the first time that Tiger Mother has suffered a man-made collapse crisis. Last year, her husband Jed Rubenfeld, also a professor at Yale Law School, was caught in a sex scandal. Many Yale girls accused him, and as a result, he was suspended for two years, which means that the couple are now suspended from Yale. ...
As early as 2022, when Cabano, a more senior American official, was accused, the couple who were close to him were also involved and lost a wave of people. In recent years, many speeches and research works of the couple have often caused controversy because they involve race and other issues.
But Tiger Mother has always denied the students' accusations and defended herself on Twitter for two months. The newspaper published an article about it the day before yesterday, because there was a sentence "There is no conclusive evidence to prove that Chua Meier did what she was initially accused of", which was immediately forwarded by her.
From the publication of Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother 10 years ago until now, when her daughter grew up and fell into man-made crisis, Chua Mei-er was always accompanied by controversy. Especially her educational philosophy, because of the success of her daughters, some people began to think about the desirability of her educational philosophy. Some people think that she just won the bet, and some people think that her education is too utilitarian. ...
However, no matter what the tiger mother's educational philosophy is, she has really made great efforts on the way to educate two tiger babies. Zhu Fan once introduced the book Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother to everyone. Today, I will take you to have a look. How hard it is for tiger mother to raise children, why should she set up her personnel?
Tiger mother, first of all, you want to be a tiger yourself.
Tiger Mother said at the beginning of this book: "Tiger-the most vivid symbol of strength and power. Scary and respectful. " The implication is, why is it a "tiger mother"? Because you are a symbol of power and strength, children are not allowed to question and resist.
As a tiger mother, first of all, I want to be a tiger. Born in 1962, Chua Meier is a tiger. Tiger mother's childhood came from a relatively depressed and strict environment. Her parents' high standards and strict requirements make her have to get A's in all subjects and do better in all aspects, so she has been a super schoolmaster since she was a child and her personality is very rigid.
As a child at home, Tiger Mother was ridiculed for her accent when she was in primary school, so she took part in various social group activities to practice her accent desperately and vowed that it would be like this.
(On the far right is the tiger mother when I was a child.)
Strict family education does not allow any "flaws" in tiger mother's report card. Once she won the second place in the exam and said to her after attending the award ceremony, "Don't let me lose face like this again!" "
The tiger mother who grows up is naturally a "tough guy role" and works very hard to raise children.
First of all, in order to have more time to raise children, Tiger Mother has just given birth to a child and started writing papers during maternity leave. She is going to change jobs from the wall street office to become a teacher in the university.
When Huwa grows up, Huma incarnates time management, and her schedule is full: she gets up at 5 o'clock every morning, spends half a day writing, finishes her work at Yale University, and then flies home, where the two babies do their homework and discipline the rebellious.
In order to take care of the baby, the tiger mother has never relaxed for a day, and even on weekends, she is constantly improving. From learning music to keeping dogs, children have to learn what they are exposed to. Tiger mother will definitely teach herself first and strive to be in the forefront of the children forever.
Sometimes, after a day of class with tiger cubs, she falls asleep at night, and mother tiger has to burn the midnight oil to read books, listen to CDs and watch. When the children throw questions, the tiger mother is free to catch each one and try to become the children's knowledge.
I also had a hard time choosing the right piano teacher for Tiger Baby. I can't wait to take an X-ray with my eyes and scan every detail of the piano teacher: I can't play too sadly and I can't despise the textbook too much.
In short, after three screenings, I finally found a piano teacher who is very step-by-step and understands Suzuki method.
Tiger mother will never fall behind in material input to her children. The two babies will take them to the world to increase their knowledge when they are very young, and they have been to dozens of places in the world. My daughter spends a lot of money on gifts and cakes for her birthday, and even once ordered a giant ice cream cake, which cost her half of her monthly salary.
Tiger mother thinks that spending time, energy and money on children is a better investment.
Parenting methods should be more "tiger"
Not only a "tiger", but also "not soft" after giving birth to a baby, continuing a strict education method for children. One of the "essentials" of tiger mother's parenting is to get out of the predicament and pay attention to "hard" means and many routines, not to be a mother who likes children, but to be a mother who thinks about the future of children.
(Chua Meier's critics even compare her to an animal trainer. )
△ Give children the least choice
Tiger mother made very strict family rules for the tiger doll, and made a list of things that are not allowed to do, such as not spending the night outside and not joining school groups; As for entertainment activities such as watching TV and playing games, I'm sorry, this is really not available.
Do you think it's over? Tiger mother wants more than that. Huwa can't choose her favorite extracurricular activities, and sports and literature are top-notch, surpassing cultural classes. Sorry, don't think about it.
In addition to all kinds of prohibitions, Hu Walian has regulations on what musical instruments to learn. Tiger mother believes that insisting that children learn classical music can break the "three generations of wealth", because playing the piano and violin will not make people easy to be spoiled, lazy and lazy.
After some consideration, she personally decided for the tigers that the eldest daughter should learn to play the piano and the younger daughter should learn to play the violin. In short, everything is to give children the least choice and let them follow their own established route.
△ Must be better
There are many things that are not allowed, and the limited things that are allowed must be done better. What if Huwa just can't do it well? Accept severe criticism first, and then do better.
For example, Tiger Baby must get an A in his homework, and if he doesn't get it, he will brush the questions wildly. Tiger mother once asked Sophia to do 20 test papers every night, each with 100 arithmetic problems, while she kept a stopwatch to keep time. If you can't practice the piano well, you have to work overtime. Lulu, the youngest daughter, couldn't play the violin well at first, and even practiced for six hours a day.
(Lulu, she also practices the piano on the trip.)
One year, it took Lulu only 30 seconds to make a birthday card for Tiger Mother. Tiger mother saw this careless card and threw it away mercilessly. Many people are very upset when they read this passage in the book. After many years, they still have to chase Lulu and ask if they feel hurt.
However, tiger cubs are not always obedient. For example, they are rebellious and often fight with the tiger mother, but the tiger mother never indulges her children in mischief. Once Lulu was disobedient, the tiger mother had a very fierce conflict with her, and even let her, who was only 3 years old at that time, be outdoors below zero (as a result, Lulu had a strong personality and refused to enter the house, forcing the tiger mother to change her educational thinking).
In addition, when tiger mothers treat their babies, they never show mercy, nor do they show mercy in their mouths. Things that are not done well are often threats.
For example, if a child can't play the piano well, she will say, "My God, you are getting worse and worse!" " "or:" come on, I'll count to three, you have to find the right tune! " "
(Sophia in piano practice)
If severe reprimand doesn't work, then directly threaten: "Next time you play the wrong note, I will throw all your furry" little animals "into the fire and turn them into ashes!"
Another famous "tiger mother", Wendi Deng, is a big fan of Chua Meier. A nanny broke the news that she once told her eldest daughter that "you are too fat, I hope you can be as slim as Ziyi", and at the same time restricted diet and tongue+control, which made her feel the essence of a tiger mother (however, the final effect did not seem obvious).
△ Never let children relax, every day is a tight clockwork.
Tiger mother asked the two children to practice piano for 365 days. It is impossible to be lazy for one day on weekends and holidays, and practice for three hours every day. But how can we ensure that both children can do it? The answer is simple, the tiger mother has been with her.
On weekends, the two cubs will also have piano and violin lessons. Even after three or four hours of class, adults and children are exhausted. When they come home from class, Tiger Mother will try her best to do more after-class exercises for them, and say: They will not be idle and comfortably wait for next week's class.
On the way to practicing the piano, the two tiger dolls can be said to have never slacked off for a day, and they wound up every day.
△ I am keen on giving chicken soup to tiger dolls, which is bitter and sweet.
Tiger mother is very keen to give her baby chicken soup. It can be said that every word she says will make the two babies her life, and every story she tells will realize the creed of life, constantly give the tiger baby chicken blood, and provide the motivation for hard work and growth.
For example, grandpa worked hard to earn money and changed the life of his family. Tiger mother tells inspirational stories to children from time to time and warns them that she has also learned the strength and confidence to make progress.
(Tiger Baby's Grandpa)
Tiger mother is also good at remembering bitter experiences and thinking sweet things. For example, when Tiger Doll wanted to be lazy, she talked about how her parents came to the United States by boat, their cold and hunger life, and advised their children to know how to cherish and make progress.
When the tiger dolls didn't want to work hard, she told how she once hung a bag full of newspapers weighing more than 40 kilograms around her neck and walked 8 kilometers to deliver newspapers to customers. "I was so bitter, and now you don't even want to do such a small thing!"
When Little Tiger cub didn't want to write serious congratulations for her father's birthday, she added: "I am so old, I will do whatever my parents say, and even dig a swimming pool myself!"
Behaviors such as pouring chicken soup and recalling bitter thoughts are called "anti-sports" by tiger mother, and strive to make children full of motivation and energy every day.
Tiger Baby becomes Niu Wa, and Tiger Mother is still trying to pave the way.
Earlier, some media thought that this extremely extreme education method of tiger mother would not have a good result, and it was likely that she would get mental illness and have a tendency.
At present, it seems that the results of the two tigers are not too bad, their minds are mature, their studies and careers are developing well, and when they grow up, they will be Niu Wa.
△ After the child becomes an adult, tiger education will be transformed into cat education in time.
When the child becomes an adult, the tiger mother changes the strict harmony in the past, and instead of practicing tiger education, she turns to cat education, giving the child free space and no longer interfering with the choice of tiger dolls.
Huwa who goes to college is free to do what she wants, make friends, attend parties and club activities. They are also very opinionated about their future development, not only with good academic performance, but also with their career choices.
Eldest brother Sophie studied in Kazakhstan and Yale successively. Inspired by the books published by Tiger Mother, she founded a tutor company called Tiger Child, and later became a junior officer, and her academic career was smooth.
Lulu was admitted to Yale in advance, but finally chose to study in the history department of Kazakhstan, and she is also very accomplished in art.
△ Have a good relationship with Tiger Baby
In fact, in the book "Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother", in addition to the severe measures mentioned above, we can also see the love of tiger mother for children. Although many people speculate that her relationship with her children will be tense or even falling out in the future, at present, the relationship of this family is not bad. Not only do they often take photos, but both children express their support and understanding for her.
The eldest daughter Sophia once said in an interview that she was very happy to grow up in this way. It is this strict education that enables her to have an independent personality.
Many people think that the lack of parents' praise and strict family education will make children lack self-confidence, but Lulu, the youngest daughter, thinks she is more confident than many people, because she has won self-confidence and her mother has given her the tools to win it.
Moreover, it was her mother who insisted on the unique rule of "never slackening off" that made her successful. Lulu even said that she would be a tiger mother in the future.
△ Pave the way for children's work and accidentally roll over.
Even though the tiger cubs have grown up and become independent, the tiger mother has not given up paving the way for her two daughters, but has since opened the road to rollover.
Before that, Tiger Mother had always had a good relationship with Judge Cabano. In order to arrange for her eldest daughter to work at a higher level, Tiger Mother published a high-profile column in the Wall Street Journal after being nominated as a higher official in Cabano, boasting about Cabano and even praising him as a great "female tutor".
But I didn't expect a slap in the face to come so quickly. Before long, Cabano was investigated because she was accused of being involved in the case. This article by Tiger Mom has been criticized a lot, and she and her daughter Sophia have also been on the cusp for a while.
And after in-depth investigation, it was found that Chua Meier and his wife, relying on their connections and influence in the world, chose young and beautiful female assistants for Cabano many times, and reminded these girls to pay attention to dress and performance to cater to Cabano's taste.
Although Chua Meier later strongly denied it, it was not long before her husband immediately overturned his case and the elite team completely collapsed.
Ironically, as early as 2022, Sophia indicated that she wanted to be an officer after graduation. Later, after the Cabano incident, she also set up a flag, saying that she would not accept the job.
But I don't know whether this job is too attractive or because of the pressure of tiger mother, Sophia has entered a higher level and worked as an assistant for Cabano for one year.
This time, the "dinner gate" that Tiger Mother was caught in was also exposed to the participation of federal judges. Although the parties strongly denied it, they still left a bad impression on the public. She was suspended from school this time, and the media said that she became an "abandoned child" of Yale law.
? -I'm the dividing line at the end? -
At present, it seems that although this "Chinese mother" has won an "American victory", the controversy has never stopped. What will happen in the future needs to be viewed from a long-term perspective. So, what's your attitude towards tiger mother's parenting? Let's discuss it in the comments section ~
The above is related to the birth of the Year of the Tiger in the lunar calendar, and it is about the sharing of tiger mother's battle songs. I watched the birth of the dragon for several months. I hope this will help everyone!