Fire-red phoenix flowers are blooming not far away.
"You're ... I'm reading Shimadun's Story of the Mountain and the Moon." I'm surprised that there are still people in college who call me sister. But just a few seconds later, I followed the sound and turned around. I saw a man in his thirties and forties, wearing an old but neat suit, standing on my right back, curiously looking at the book I was reading. He didn't deliberately comb his fluffy hair, but he finally won me a little favor.
"Oh, which country is this Dunn's writer?" He can't remember Nakajima Atsushi's name, and he can't remember it now.
"Japanese, I'm going to write this for my master's thesis." I'm a little hesitant about telling him. I think he may be a school teacher, but I don't think so.
He may have seen my doubts about his identity.
"My name is Zhang Guohan, and I am a writer on the theme of the Anti-Japanese War. I am a doctor of film and television at the School of Humanities, and I am a doctoral student this year. " Cold Knife is a novel written by me and also adapted into a TV series. I don't know if you have seen it. "He is very honest and even signed up directly. I'm not interested in Japanese drama, but I feel like I know a great writer and I'm a little complacent.
"Ah senior hello fierce! May I call you senior? You are a doctoral student this year and I am a graduate student. It seems that I graduated in the same year. " My girl infatuation mode has been started, and I graduated from the same school as the great writer in the same year, which feels wonderful.
"yes. Sister, what's your mobile phone number? Leave one and you can contact me. " He looked at people in a special society, and I was a little wary, but his gaunt and pale face, which was close to that of a monk, showed that he was not a treacherous and insidious person, but a little focused on his dreams. This is what a writer's face should look like. I have no resistance to such a serious person.
I picked up a notebook from the schoolbag lying on the ground next to the flower bed, wrote down my mobile phone number, tore it off and handed it to him. I didn't ask for his cell phone number either. He said it himself.
"Lend me a pen and I'll give you my QQ number. I don't have my cell phone, and I can't remember my cell phone number. I'll call you later and you'll know. " He took the pen in my hand, wrote a string of numbers on the paper with my mobile phone number, tore off one and handed it to me.
I feel funny for no reason. How old is he? He looks much older than me. Calling me "sister" is very archaic, especially from his mouth. Now in this society, I almost want to laugh at anyone who can't remember his mobile phone number, goes out without a mobile phone and exchanges QQ numbers.
"I just started writing a doctoral thesis. I have no inspiration. I came out to get some air. I didn't expect to see you reading in the sunset. The picture is so beautiful that I can't help but say hello to you. My brother is not a bad person. Then I'll go first and contact you later. " He made a long speech alone, showed his motives, and then left by himself. Older people have this privilege, and now no one dares to say how you can leave.
I watched his back drift away and finally disappeared in the splendor of the phoenix flower.
I think this person is really interesting, so I put his QQ number in the pencil case, put the book in my schoolbag, looked at my watch, and found that it was almost five o'clock in the afternoon before I knew it, so I walked to the nearby grocery store with my schoolbag on my back.
I ordered a meal in the canteen, opened the mobile phone search software and entered "Zhang Guohan's cold knife". Sure enough, a series of contents popped up. I clicked on one of them, and it did introduce the adaptation of this novel into a TV series and the introduction of the author. It was Zhang Guohan, a doctor of film and television in my school. I had a brainwave and switched to picture search. In earlier reports, there were indeed his previous photos. At that time, he was so thin that his hair was almost shawl. I looked at such an ugly photo and put down my cell phone. At the same time, I remembered the appearance of his suit and tie today. This is very interesting. It's different now, but as a doctoral student, he has nothing to do but dress like a student, which is really funny.
While thinking about Zhang Guohan, he absently picked up the rice and unconsciously ate all the dishes on the plate. I ran out of the canteen, with inexplicable excitement, and didn't go back to the library for self-study. I think I've seen enough information for this day, so I rode my beloved bike and hummed quickly back to the dormitory.
Seeing me smiling into the dormitory, Wen discovered my strangeness for the first time.
"You look a little anthomaniac today. Did you meet a handsome guy? "
"Hey, there are no handsome guys, but I tell you, I met a great writer, who is also a doctor of film and television in the School of Humanities of our school."
"Hey what a great writer, don't lie. I only lie to a little girl like you. "
"What do you take me for? Come here and I'll show you. "
Wen came over with little interest and said, "I haven't seen that play, and I don't feel very good."
Just about to argue, a strange mobile phone number called in.
I have a hunch it's him!
I connected the phone without hesitation, and a familiar voice came from the other end of the phone. I hurried to the door to answer the phone.
"Elder sister, I am your brother Zhang Guohan, remember me? Is this my mobile phone number? By the way, I forgot to ask your name. What's your name? "
"I ... my name is Chen Jinduan. Ear east Chen, icing on the cake, correct end. "
"Oh, I think of Li Shangyin's poem Untitled," I want to know why there are fifty strings on my golden harp, each with a youthful interval, which is the end of the brocade ". The name is nice, but it sounds a bit like a boy's name. "
"Yes, many teachers think my name is like a boy's name when they call the roll."
"You know Lin Yutang. His favorite woman is also called Chen Jinduan. She has the same name as you. Lin Yutang has missed her all his life. When she was ill in her later years, she never forgot to visit her. She is Zhu Shazhi in his heart. She has no trace in her life, but she will stay in her heart forever. "
"Ah, senior, you are a writer and you know so much!"
"Well, let's talk about something else." The topic switching of seniors is really abrupt, but this kind of thing completely stumped me. My jumping thinking was not suitable for ordinary people. It seems that we are the same kind of people. I was distracted by the accident.
"Sister, are you still listening?" The eager voice of the senior interrupted me.
I came to my senses and started my best book "100,000 Why". The seniors also answered questions and talked for nearly an hour. I know his general situation.
He joined the army after graduating from college, still in the city where my hometown is located. During his service, he fell in love with literature and began to create literature. After serving, he continued to take the postgraduate entrance examination in the Department of Literature, and combined with his experience as a soldier, he created and published several novels on the theme of the Anti-Japanese War. After graduation, he became a drifter in the north, and his friends were bent on going to Beijing to create a new world. Unfortunately, not long after he arrived in Beijing, the country began to rectify anti-war dramas. He missed the best opportunity to develop his specialty. After a period of depression, he decided to take the doctoral entrance examination again, hoping to continue his literary creation by teaching in a university in the future.
He talks a lot alone, and I almost only need to answer "Oh" from time to time. At the end, I asked him why he met me at the library gate in the afternoon. He said that he thought the scenery was so beautiful. During this period, his writing entered a bottleneck, and his doctoral thesis was imminent, so he took time to visit the library. I didn't expect to see a girl holding a novel so intoxicated in the sunset, so he was attracted
Not the kui is a writer, speaks a set of a set.
After the phone call, I came back contentedly. My roommate looked at me again, so he quickly came to inquire about the situation and repeatedly told me not to be cheated. This kind of person is a rare girl and will not let go. She also warned me that I must find an opportunity to beat about the bush and see if he is married. After all, he is so old. I gave her a white look, changed my clothes and took a bath.
The next day, nothing happened. Until around noon, he called again, meaning that he lived in the doctor's building, which was too far away from the express delivery place and a little busy. I hope I can help him with the express delivery if it is convenient. I agreed without hesitation. So for a long time, I became his secretary and received express delivery for him every day, not only without salary, but also without regrets. Who let me worship him so much?
It's already lunch time after receiving the express delivery. He called me and asked me to wait for him at Lingshan Hotel, which is a canteen near the Doctor Building in our school. This is my first time to go to this canteen. I walked into the canteen and looked around, but I didn't find any trace of him. After waiting for about fifteen minutes, he showed up, travel-stained, apologizing again and again, and wearing the old suit we first met. I guess he always wears this when he meets girls.
I put the courier on a seat and went to order with him. He kept saying that he would invite me. Embarrassed, I ordered two vegetables. He kept talking about how to order so little. I felt that my senior was not very rich and embarrassed, so I got a courier for me. Besides, I have a bike, it's just a little effort. In addition, seniors really talk a lot. If you are not a writer, you are likely to suppress yourself. I think this is very interesting.
When we ordered a big meal and began to eat, his brother Zhou Ping happened to pass by, so it was logical to sit with us. I feel a little embarrassed. The seniors are still there enthusiastically introducing which college and major I studied. Brother Zhou seems to be playing tricks on him and hinting at him. I think these men are so boring.
After dinner, I went to the library to study for myself. After dinner in the evening, my senior called me again, saying that Brother Zhou and he invited me to the school cafe for coffee, and another brother studying literature was there, so he could give me guidance on my thesis. I passed by again.
I have always been timid, but my admired seniors invited me, and I really want to know what their doctoral life is like. Of course, I sincerely hope to get some useful paper suggestions. So I went to the appointment.
I have met Brother Zhou. He seems to have a lot of experience in dealing with people. Sure enough, after listening to Zhou Ge's self-introduction, I realized that Zhou Ge worked as a teacher in a university before he came to study for a doctorate in film and television. This time he came for further study. He is married and has a son. Besides, he is also very good at writing poems. Then they introduced Brother Lin, who studied literature. Brother Lin is also married and is already a teacher in a university. This time he came to study for a doctorate with the consent of the university. After graduation, he will still go back to his old school to teach. Brother Lin looks really pedantic. He just wants to tell me which books to read and which books are good for me to write my paper all night.
At this party, the senior began to introduce how he knew me, or the beautiful scene of reading in the sunset. I can only sigh that getting old is really wordy. After this time, he seems to be inspired by Brother Lin, and thinks he should help me find some clues to write my thesis. So he was punctual every day, about 9 pm, and asked me if I had self-study, and then took me outside an empty classroom in a teaching building to teach me literary theory! He always chooses this dark place, as if afraid of being easily seen, and as if being seen with me would make him look like a crime. In a word, I really don't think it is necessary to look at his embarrassing behavior.
For more than two weeks in a row, he gave me lessons door by door. He said that I have been learning foreign languages, lacking knowledge of western literary theory, and it is easy to encounter difficulties in writing papers. So he talked from Plato's Republic and Aristotle's Poetics and Rhetoric to the Middle Ages, to the Renaissance, from classicism to enlightenment, to German classicists Kant, Schiller, Goethe and Hegel, and from romanticism to realism and aestheticism. At first, I was surprised to open my mouth wide, but I couldn't close it for a long time, and I was full of interest. But slowly, the more I listen to my brain, the more tired I get, and I can't turn around, but I still force myself to listen to his lecture carefully. For the last time, he connected all the contents together, combed them again, and then followed me to the school for a walk.
Walking, I came to a buttonwood tree. He stopped suddenly and asked me if I wanted to be with him. I was dumbfounded, but I nodded, although my brain was used up.
Then he asked a very strange question. He said, "Suppose we are together, how can we live?"
I guess what he's trying to say is that he has nothing, no car, no house and no savings. Let me answer:
"You continue to write novels, I went to work. You pursue your dreams, just like Ang Lee, and I support you in pursuing your dreams, just like his wife. " I have never had such a strange idea. I was shocked by my sudden decision.
He repeated to himself, "This is what you will do when you are together."
Then he suddenly said, "no, sister, I can be your father."
"ah? what did you say ? /Excuse me? You mean you're married? "
"That didn't, you know? I am almost forty. "
"So what?"
"You know, elder sister, I can completely cheat you to my place, irresponsible, but I don't want that? Do you understand what I mean? One of our classmates got pregnant before marriage, and our professor was very angry. Do you understand what I mean? "
I didn't answer, but my heart was full of anger. "Since you don't want to be with me, why suddenly ask me if I want to be with you? Ask and tell me that you don't want to hurt me. You want to get rid of me, but you can't find an excuse. " I cursed him in my heart. But I didn't say anything.
We walked on until fewer and fewer people walked on the road. When we arrived not far from our dormitory, he said:
"Sister, I'll bring you!" Then he left without looking back. I almost cried with anger.
I ignored him for a long time and he didn't call me. Then one day, he called me to get the courier for me, saying that he was not at school some time ago, so he didn't contact me. He is busy meeting some editing friends in other places. I relented again and felt that he had done nothing wrong.
So I went to help him get the courier again. We made an appointment to eat at Lingshan restaurant again, and he came, with a book in his hand. Looking at him coming from a distance, this time he was wearing a brand-new brown-red suit, his hair was still fluffy, and his face was still haggard with a rare light. I picked up my mobile phone, pretended to take pictures, and secretly took some pictures of him. He seems to have found it, but he is still very happy. He came up to me, handed me the book in his hand and said, "Here, this is my brother's new book. What, are you filming me? Show me. "
I gave him my mobile phone in distrust and said, "Just look at it and don't delete it". He looked at his photo and seemed a little embarrassed, but then he said with satisfaction, "It was a good shot. It seems that my brother is very handsome today. " He seems to be particularly satisfied with his appearance today. After dinner, he followed me around the campus. This time, he didn't care so much about other people's eyes. When he saw that I always took pictures of him, he just stood up and made a gesture and said, "Take a picture of me."
After walking for more than half an afternoon, he seems to be in a good mood. I thought our relationship finally ushered in a new change.
I went back to QQ at night and found that he had deleted me. I called him to question him, and he said that the contacts there were friends of editors and publishers, not private numbers, and they didn't chat at ordinary times, so they deleted me. I felt a betrayal, and I was also confused by his willfulness. I even began to wonder if he said that studying for a doctorate in film and television at school was a lie and that he was not married.
After this unpleasant questioning, we haven't contacted each other for months. The time for graduating class is always fast and short, only two months before graduation.
In the process of preparing my master's thesis, I always think of the scene when he gave me detailed guidance on literary theory every night, and feel that he didn't seem as bad to me as I thought. Besides, he didn't lie to me in essence, just deleted my QQ and had a phone call! Remembering this matter, I called and found that my mobile phone was turned off.
Angry for a while, I remembered his pale and even wrinkled face, and suddenly felt that his life must be very difficult. I remember meeting Brother Zhou and Brother Lin in the coffee shop. He talked about his childhood experience: he was born in a very poor family in Henan with many sisters. At that time, the family was very poor. He often wears cotton trousers that don't fit his sister. Once, he ran out of cotton wool on his ass, and he was always laughed at by his friends, so he was too ashamed to lift his head. Brother Zhou silently hinted that he shouldn't say this in front of me.
Thought of here, my heart instantly melted again, and I felt that his life was really not easy. After all, I know too little about his life. So I called again and no one answered. I was suddenly a little worried about him, so I went downstairs to his dormitory and wandered there alone. Later, it seems that someone stopped me. I turned around and saw it was Brother Zhou! He seems to be in a hurry, as if he is keeping something from me. On second thought, he told me anyway.
He said that the senior had been missing for three days, and no one answered the tutor's phone. Now the tutor has called the police. I feel that my face must have lost its color in fear. Brother Zhou comforted me and went to see their mentor first.
I called like crazy, but no one answered. At that time, the news of doctors jumping off buildings, jumping into lakes and burning charcoal came to my mind. The pain was unbearable and I squatted down with my head in my arms. When I calmed down, I suddenly remembered that he was wearing a brown-red suit and walked with me to the lake behind the doctor's dormitory. He also kept telling me that he liked the scenery there. I felt a little nauseous for a moment, but I persisted in climbing the slope. When I arrived at the lake, facing the sparse blooming lotus, I suddenly felt that my seniors would not jump into the lake. My hunch tells me that if he really jumped into the lake, he would definitely come up now. I stood by the lake for a while, a little scared, and another man ran down the hill and went back to their dormitory downstairs. After staying for nearly half an hour, I had to go back to the dormitory and wait for news from Brother Zhou.
Until it was getting dark that day, Brother Zhou called me and told me that my senior had found it! He didn't commit suicide, but kept himself in a single dormitory to continue writing. When Brother Zhou called me, I was running on the playground to divert my attention. After answering the phone, I squatted down and cried. Wen, who ran with me, was frightened and thought I was uncomfortable after running. It was not until I knew the truth that I said angrily, "This man is really annoying and has made you like this." Go back on our word every day. It's over. You forgot about him. He's not for you. "
I hugged her and cried even harder. That night, I didn't call to express my condolences to him, nor did he call me. I'm not sure if brother Zhou told him that I knew about his disappearance, but it doesn't matter.
The phoenix blooms more fiercely, as if worried that the graduating students are too busy to look up at their glory.
Busy graduation time also flies day by day. A few days before my thesis defense, my senior suddenly called me again.
"Sister, long time no see."
"Oh, senior, long time no see." I'm not sure whether he wants me to take the express train again.
"What are you doing now? One person? "
"I'm with my roommate and I'm going to eat in the cafeteria."
"Oh, I just want to invite you to dinner. Then wait for me, which canteen are you in, and I'll find you later. "
"I am in this Anyuan restaurant near our college."
"Ok, I'll call you later."
My roommate quickly asked me who was calling, which senior, and whether it was the senior who always broke his word and made me cry.
I looked at Vivian reproachfully and suggested that she stop exposing my scars.
"I want to see which big shot it is." Wen is still indignant.
While we were ordering food, the senior's phone rang again. I picked up the phone, and there came his voice, and I was still full of expectations.
"Elder sister, I suddenly have something to do. Can I make an appointment with you again tonight? "
"hmm." I gave a "mmm" in frustration.
"He said he wouldn't come." I said something to Vivian, and my voice was so low that I could hardly hear it.
Vivian's face became uglier than mine.
"Why does everyone have it?"
Wen ate a few mouthfuls of rice, but he was still indignant.
"End, don't contact him again, ok? You deserve better. "
I nodded my head. Suddenly, some Oracle appeared in my mind, and I thought I should end it.
"Vivian, I blacked out his mobile phone number. Don't contact again. "
"Ok, I support you!" Vivian must nod.
I took out my mobile phone, found the phone records just now and blacklisted his number.
The following days were very busy and tense, and I gradually forgot this short fate with him. Until the graduation ceremony, the graduation list of master students was scrolled on the scrolling screen of the graduation auditorium, and when the graduation list of doctoral students began to scroll, I thought of him again.
I held my breath, followed the scrolling screen, and began to capture his college and his information. Finally, the name "Zhang Guohan, School of Humanities" appeared in my sight, and my nose was sour for an instant. I don't know whether I am happy for him because he graduated on time or because he finally confirmed his identity. He really didn't lie to me I was in a mixed mood and finally slipped out of the graduation hall at the end of the school song.
Wen and I were dressed for master's degree, looking for familiar corners on campus, taking single or group photos. When we walked under several buttonwood trees, we saw several boys in doctoral uniforms taking pictures there. I saw my senior at first sight. This is the first time I have seen him wearing anything other than a suit. I kind of want to slip away. Vivian seemed to perceive my strangeness and asked me what was wrong.
"The seniors are there." I whispered.
"Which one, go and see, what are you afraid of?" Wen pulled me. I just want to get rid of her. The senior has seen me.
He came to me.
"Elder sister, long time no see, we all graduated. I got the offer from Polytechnic University. "
"Very well, congratulations to your senior, this school is not far from our school? It seems that I can come to school often. "
"Yes, let's take a picture together." The senior walked to my left, and I handed Wen my mobile phone.
"Help me take a photo with my senior."
Wen took my mobile phone, turned on the camera and prepared to take pictures.
I stood stiffly, feeling embarrassed because I hacked his number, as if I had done something bad. While I was hesitating, my senior's hand bypassed my back and gently placed it on my right shoulder. I felt my face suddenly burn and my expression became more stiff. I am not used to this sudden intimacy, this intimacy in broad daylight, and it is not suitable for such a rigid senior.
Vivian smiled and handed me the phone after taking the photo.
"Phoenix flowers are more photogenic than me." I took the phone, looked at it and said.
"Let me see." The senior took my mobile phone.
"It's like a wedding photo taken with an object." The senior made a metaphor that made me extremely embarrassed.
I almost laughed when I saw Vivian.
I smiled helplessly.
I thought he would be Ang Lee, and I would be Lin Huijia who stood behind him and silently supported him. I think it's because I think too far. After all, until today, I really believe that he didn't lie to me. There are too many unknowns and strangeness between us.
The senior seemed to want to say something, but in the end he didn't say it.
I also have a lot to say to him, but after all, I am Chen Jinduan in reality, not the Chen Jinduan that Lin Yutang loves, not to mention that he is not Lin Yutang.
So, I gave him a silent look and smiled without saying goodbye. But I know that he is like the phoenix flower on campus this season, and I will never see him again in my life.