From the day boys and girls enter puberty, they are born with a hazy vision. Maybe there will be vigorous love at that time, maybe there is only pure attraction of the opposite sex at that time, maybe he will leave yearning memories in the hymn of life, and maybe he will only leave regrets. But in any case, only by treating this special impulse with a scientific and rational attitude can we have a smooth sailing in the ocean of flower season and draw a beautiful full stop for our youth.

To this end, we should pay attention to the following points:

1 We should correctly understand the causes and essence of puppy love.

We should set up lofty ideals and have clear goals. Avoid emotional distraction and waste the good time of reading and studying.

Expand the range of friends, find happiness in friendship, and don't limit your eyes to one opposite sex, because in this way, the advantages of other opposite sexes will be ignored. Learn more about the opposite sex and learn more from them. Let your judgment be improved, and you will be more discriminating, more responsible for others and more responsible for yourself when you choose the right person in the future.

Please Stay Before Falling in Love —— Characteristics, Harm and Treatment of Puppy Love

First, the characteristics of puppy love

Although the manifestations of puppy love are different and the situation is different, puppy love still has its * * * characteristics.

First, I can't tell the difference between "love" and "kindness". With the development of body and mind, boys and girls who enter middle school always have a special affection and curiosity for the opposite sex students and are always willing to associate with the opposite sex students ... This is what some psychologists call "opposites attract" or "opposite sex effect". The mutual attraction or yearning between the opposite sex is often manifested as a good impression on the opposite sex at first, sometimes as a good impression on all the opposite sex, and sometimes as a secret crush on a classmate of the opposite sex. This phenomenon of opposites attract each other is the basis for male and female middle school students to love and get along with each other, and it is a healthy friendship. However, because many middle school students don't have a correct understanding of love, lack proper sex education, and can't correctly understand their first love sinus, they often mistake their "good feelings" for falling in love with the opposite sex, resulting in the idea of falling in love with students of the opposite sex.

Second, I don't know the difference between love and friendship. With the increase of age and the increase of contact between students of the opposite sex, it is very normal for boys and girls to have a pure friendship. Friendship between students of the opposite sex is very valuable. This kind of friendship not only helps boys and girls learn from each other and make progress together, but also helps middle school students to learn the ability to get along with the opposite sex and establish good interpersonal relationships, which is extremely beneficial to the healthy development of boys and girls. Although the friendship between the opposite sex is the basic element of love and the premise of love, as long as the friendship between the opposite sex is controlled to a certain extent and scope, and the "moderation" is well grasped, this friendship cannot be called love between men and women. However, many middle school students are not aware of the difference between friendship and love, and tend to regard heterosexual friendship as love.

Third, puppy love among middle school students is blind. Puppy love among middle school students is actually a kind of affection for friends of the opposite sex, or the friendship between students of the opposite sex. For these boys and girls in The Seeds of Love, the "love" between them often happens unconsciously and can't be controlled at all. In the words of the famous Russian writer Turgenev, it is "an uncontrollable and burning feeling". These boys and girls are often impressed by each other's temperament, beauty, strong physique, humorous language, or eloquent eloquence, so that they can't help getting close to each other. In this way, puppy love between boys and girls naturally happens. This shows that the puppy love of middle school students is blind and lacks a clear purpose of love. Various examples show that puppy love among middle school students is actually an immature "emotional impulse".

Fourth, the concealment of puppy love among middle school students. Puppy boys and girls generally don't reveal their inner secrets, especially to parents and teachers. Sometimes I keep my mouth shut to my good friends, brothers and sisters. On the one hand, puppy love has the concealment of love, because middle school is afraid of attracting opposition and reprimand from parents and teachers, ridicule and irony from classmates, friends, brothers and sisters. On the other hand, it is also related to the anxiety and "psychological atresia" caused by the impulse of boys and girls to have sex for the first time. This feature of puppy love makes it difficult for teachers and parents to find puppy love early and guide it in time, which enhances the "difficulty" of work. Some careless parents and teachers were unaware of their children's puppy love and kept "in the dark" until the problem was seriously exposed. This is what teachers and parents must be alert to!

Fifth, puppy love among middle school students is exciting and impulsive. This feature of puppy love is related to the emotional characteristics of boys and girls. Adolescence is often called the emotional "storm" period. That is to say, during the middle school students' period, passion is dominant, with strong emotions, instability and impulsiveness. Correspondingly, middle school students who are puppy love often have a strong desire to be close to their lovers. Therefore, when they get along, their words and deeds often show special excitement and impulse. This feature of puppy love will often have irreparable consequences: some boys and girls often lose their minds because of being too excited and impulsive when they get along, put themselves under the control of passion completely, and eat the forbidden fruit prematurely, leading to the deviant behavior of boys and girls.

Sixth, be too beautified and infatuated with each other. The concept of "beauty" runs through the puppy love of boys and girls. They often describe each other in diaries or love letters with the words "everything is perfect" and "everything is beautiful", beautify each other's manners, appearance, temperament and talent in their minds, and think that everything in friends of the opposite sex is impeccable. "Love me, love my dog", once you fall in love with someone, even if it is the shortcomings of the other person, it is very beautiful. This is what people often say, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder".

Seventh, we are inseparable and moody. Puppy middle school students arouse the feeling of love as strongly as young people. Although these puppy love boys and girls are not keen on learning, they are eager to attend classes. In class, you can give each other a few more eyes and say a few words. Even if you don't touch each other, you will feel that the other person's eyes are staring at you, and your heart is more practical and more practical. After school, these boys and girls will stay together to study, chat or take part in physical exercise until very late. In sharp contrast to this inseparable relationship, they are often moody because of a small thing in the process of love: sometimes they laugh and sometimes they cry.

In addition, puppy love is characterized by purity and naivety, sweet regret and low success rate. These characteristics not only reflect the physical and mental development level of middle school students, but also reflect the naivety at the beginning of love, thus interweaving into a unique picture of middle school students' puppy love.

Second, the harm of puppy love

In middle school, students' understanding of what true love is and how to win it is often blurred because of their young age, incomplete thinking and poor self-control. Premature love is easy to get lost and plant "bitter fruit" Despite this, there are still many middle school students who are obsessed with the sugar coating outside the bitter fruit, so it is often too late to regret it. Here, we want to talk to our middle school students about the harm of the sugar-coated "bitter fruit" of puppy love to boys and girls.

1. Puppy love is harmful to the physical and mental health of middle school students.

First of all, from the health of middle school students, because of puppy love, students often fall in love and spend most of their time in love, thus ignoring physical exercise. Middle school is a period for students to grow up. With the development of various organs of the body, corresponding physical exercise is needed. Otherwise, it is prone to diseases such as weak heart sound, insufficient blood supply and dizziness. Puppy love students lack physical activities, so the number of people suffering from this disease is much higher than other students. On the other hand, students who fall in love are emotionally unstable, impulsive, emotional and have poor self-control, which often leads to anxiety, irritability, doubt and jealousy. Under the influence of these emotions, it is easy to produce symptoms such as loss of appetite, general weakness, dizziness and nausea. Over time, diseases such as digestive tract diseases and hypoglycemia will appear. From the psychological point of view of middle school students, puppy love students have an extremely complicated psychological process, during which there are both inexplicable and unspeakable joy and unspeakable depression. The love of these students is under the pressure of parents and teachers, the students' "white eyes", the picky and deliberate criticism of lovers, all of which make the students with poor psychological endurance unable to maintain normal and stable emotions. At the same time, it is difficult for middle school students who are puppy love to meet their lovers after class, but they can't help but miss each other. At this time, some students often indulge in fantasy, seeking comfort and satisfaction in fantasy. In addition, there are very few students who have sex with friends of the opposite sex because they can't restrain their impulses in puppy love, which has a great influence on the mental health of middle school students. After crossing the line, some students suddenly felt "love is so" and sprouted the idea of being tired of life; Some students abandon social morality and responsibility and pursue sexual stimulation crazily. Because of these painful feelings and unhealthy thoughts, these middle school students' moral sense, life values and world outlook are seriously distorted.

2. Puppy love greatly interferes with middle school students' study.

Puppy love has a great influence on middle school students' study. Thousands of examples tell us that most students who are addicted to puppy love are moving along the track of "feelings plummeting and grades plummeting". However, some middle school students who yearn for or fall in love with each other think that as long as two people in love have the same interests, it will not affect their study. They even summed up a formula called "male+female = the combined force of two people". A large number of facts show that this view is naive, chaotic and wrong. This is because the puppy love of middle school students is both a sunny spring and a biting winter; In the river of puppy love, there are often waves piled up, resulting in whirlpool-puppy love middle school students often encounter jealousy and failure! All this is an "overload" for middle school students who are inexperienced, weak-willed and impulsive. Under the overload of puppy love, which almost crushes all young minds, it is very natural and common to have no intention to study and have a decline in grades.

3. Puppy love can easily make middle school students deviant.

Middle school students are enthusiastic, impulsive and have poor self-control ability. Boys and girls in love often can't control their feelings and have sex prematurely. More seriously, some boys will fall into a state of extreme fear and pain after pregnancy. They dare not let their parents and teachers know, and they don't want their classmates to know. Instead, they turned to some charlatans and social scum for abortion, which made many girls lose their virginity again and staged the tragedy of depravity, running away and suicide. Young middle school students should be vigilant! If you cross the line, you will pay a heavy price and become a victim of puppy love!

Puppy love may lead to crime.

According to the investigation results of relevant departments, middle school students' early involvement in love will also bring social instability. The occurrence of social phenomena such as hooliganism, fighting and theft is largely related to students' puppy love. Middle school students are angry and unwilling to suffer easily, especially in front of their girlfriends, and even more unwilling to lose face. They often lose their minds because the other party said rude words and made indecent moves to their girlfriends, and even fight with others, display their skills and even commit crimes. On the other hand, middle school students still need material consumption in falling in love, but they have to rely on their parents or other people financially and cannot stand on their own feet. During a "marathon" relationship from first love to marriage, they need a considerable sum of money. The little pocket money that parents can provide often fails to meet the demand. In this way, middle school students can easily go astray, induce the idea of stealing and robbing, and finally go to jail. There is a middle school student who has puppy love. Life at home is very difficult. Usually, he has no pocket money in his hand. After talking about his girlfriend, in order to cover up his family life, he came up with the idea of buying his girlfriend a gold necklace. Unable to borrow money, he used the evening time to break into houses with several associates and stole a necklace for his girlfriend. After the incident, I was arrested and imprisoned, and my parents and teachers regretted it! Numerous examples like this are enough to arouse the vigilance of middle school students!

Above, we talked about the consequences of puppy love among middle school students. Generally speaking, puppy love among middle school students has a wide influence and great harm. Young students should cherish their youth, don't set foot in the field of puppy love prematurely, and don't be confused by the impact of the opposite sex. What is especially needed is reason and calmness. Remember: "puppy love is a bitter fruit wrapped in sugar!" " ".But if you have entered puppy love, you should deal with the problem rationally and don't panic and be afraid. Reduce unnecessary contact and focus on physical exercise and study. Then divert his (her) attention.

On the communication between boys and girls in senior high school (2)

Third, the correct guidance of puppy love complex.

Practical experience has proved that only with the joint efforts of schools, families, society and students themselves can the problem of puppy love among middle school students be effectively solved.

1. It is not incomprehensible or vulgar to overcome the phenomenon of puppy love in adolescence. It's just that you shouldn't fall in love at this time. In this period, it is not good for the healthy growth of young friends, which is a misunderstanding of sexual psychology. Puppy love is very common among middle school students in the United States and some developed countries, and premarital sex and unmarried mothers account for a considerable proportion. Now it has formed a serious social problem, which is difficult to control. We should learn this lesson, beware of delay, and don't let this phenomenon happen again in our country.

2. Consciously restrain yourself and reduce bad stimulation or temptation.

Puppy love among middle school students has its youth development stage, but the inappropriate exaggeration or exposure of male and female sex, especially sex, by mass news media, newspapers, magazines, plays, novels, movies, television and even clothing and advertisements is the external factor that induces puppy love among middle school students. As for pornographic books, audio-visual products, it is more harmful to middle school students.

Therefore, young friends should resist the invasion of yellow poison and create a good "microenvironment" for themselves.

3. Strengthen the cultivation of ideals, beliefs and values.

We should consciously strengthen the cultivation of ideals, beliefs and values through various means, establish lofty ideals and strong dedication to work, and strive wholeheartedly for the realization of ideals and careers. The higher the energy concentration, the easier it is to resist interference; We should fully understand the harm and consequences of puppy love and avoid entering this misunderstanding; Once you enter, you must rush out with strong willpower, and the sooner the better.

Fourth, after receiving someone else's "love" information,

At school, some students don't have this idea, but they receive the information of "love" from others. What should I do?

One. Treat it correctly. It must be made clear that this situation is unacceptable for the time being. As mentioned above, the youth's thoughts and world outlook in this period have not yet been finalized, their future is uncertain, their variability is still great, and the possibility of actual ultimate success is extremely small; Emotionally speaking, most of them are impulsive and it is difficult to protect them forever; In terms of will, self-control is poor, and it is easy to get emotional and make "deviant" things; Economically, there is far from the economic foundation of love; From the point of view of energy and time, competing with learning for energy and time, and ultimately sacrificing learning, thus affecting the future and losing opportunities, will inevitably lead to contradictions, which is really not worth the candle. It can be seen that no matter from which aspect, it is not appropriate to rashly accept the hydrangea thrown by others. Your attitude should be clear, your views should be clear, and your position should be firm.

Two. It should be properly solved. Generally, we should pay attention to protecting each other's self-esteem and cherish friendship. It is not appropriate to ridicule, reprimand or insult each other easily; Or report to the teacher at will, make it public to classmates, and embarrass others. This is irrational, uncivilized, lacking in self-cultivation and disrespectful to people. It is best to carry out cold treatment as if nothing has happened. Writing a letter and handing a note to the other party is mostly a temptation under the impulse of the moment. In this regard, you might as well pretend as if nothing has happened and communicate with it as usual. You are not too distant and evasive, nor too warm and close, but a little cold, so that the other party can understand your mind. This will not hurt others, but also let them know that this is just wishful thinking and a step to step down. If the other person doesn't know your interest or your psychology, he will go his own way and pursue you hard. In this case, you can talk to him directly or write back to him. The contents may include: thanking him for his kindness, clearly explaining his views and attitudes, stating his reasons, sincerely explaining his shortcomings and warning him. If he does this again, he will only harm others and himself. If the other person can behave and respect your feelings, you can guarantee confidentiality for others and maintain normal friendship. In short, the attitude of conversation or reply should be clear and firm, the occasion should be carefully chosen, the way should be appropriate, and the tone should be gentle. Let the other person feel that you are not looking down on them, but thinking about the future of both parties. Starting from reality, you will not only get rid of this kind of worry, avoid the consumption of energy and waste of time on both sides, but also won't hurt each other's self-esteem. People are generally willing to accept opinions, treat them correctly and then walk away. If the other party still stubbornly persists, you can clarify your attitude again through the work of a third party trusted by both parties, so that they can "die" this heart and dispel their thoughts, so as not to cause adverse consequences. If necessary, you can also ask teachers, parents and friends for help to get rid of this dilemma, educate and help each other. If the other party has an indecent request, it should be seriously and flatly rejected.

Five. Can high school students fall in love?

First of all, it must be clear that the love of high school students is puppy love. The Code for Middle School Students clearly stipulates that middle school students cannot fall in love. The reason is: 1 The idea has not yet been finalized. Because high school students' world outlook is not yet mature, their views on the world, society and life are still naive and one-sided, and their personal thoughts and moral qualities will change greatly in their later lives. Today's may be the same, tomorrow's may be different, and after a few years, it is more likely to go their separate ways. Therefore, in real life, most people who fall in love in high school fail, and even fewer later become partners. 2. Psychological immaturity. The psychology and physiology of senior high school students are still in the developmental stage. In terms of self-will, there is a "blind sense of maturity" and self-righteousness; Emotionally, I am impulsive and easy to transfer; In terms of will development, self-control is poor. Therefore, high school students are prone to get emotional in puppy love and may do deviant things. Once deviant, the psychological trauma to female students is irreparable. 3. The economy is not yet independent. High school students' economy mainly depends on their parents, but they can't stand on their own feet. From falling in love to getting married and having children, all this must have a certain economic foundation. This is one of the reasons why people generally think that they will fall in love and get married after working for a few years. The career has not yet begun. High school is the period of laying the foundation, and what kind of career high school students will engage in in in the future has not yet been determined. During this period, people have the most energy, the strongest thirst for knowledge and the strongest cognitive abilities such as observation, memory, thinking and imagination. Therefore, high school is a critical period to accumulate knowledge, increase talents and lay the foundation for your future career. It does not have the conditions to fall in love, nor is it the best time to fall in love.

Six. Why shouldn't girls fall in love early?

There is no uniform standard for the age of falling in love. As far as the actual situation in China is concerned, whether it belongs to puppy love should be defined from the following two characteristics. One is the degree of independence in life. Some teenagers are full of childlike innocence, their life and economy are still under the supervision and protection of their parents, and they are still in the tense stage of learning cultural skills. They know little about society and it is too early to fall in love. It seems easy for people to accept 18-year-old workers to fall in love, but it is different if 18-year-old students fall in love. This is considered from their economic situation and social occupation. The second is the gap between the age of falling in love and the legal minimum age. If you have reached or approached the legal minimum age for marriage, it is not puppy love. If it is far from the legal minimum age for marriage, it should be regarded as puppy love. Because the legal minimum age for marriage is stipulated according to the physical and mental development of teenagers. According to the above two standards, students in high school and below should be considered puppy love. Because they are still independent economically, their lives are not completely independent; Their age is still far from the legal minimum age for marriage; Of course, they are also very immature psychologically. Such a girl who is growing physically and mentally will have many problems in falling in love.

(1) affects learning and obliterates ideals. Every young man has his own ideals and lofty aspirations, and he is eager to become a useful person in society, even a pillar of talent; The realization of any ideal and ambition is inseparable from hard work and learning knowledge. A girl of seventeen or eighteen is the best time to lay the foundation for all aspects of growth and development, which can be described as the golden age. Girls in this period are full of youthful vigor, energy, active thinking, strong memory and extremely sensitive to new things. It is the best time to learn scientific knowledge and improve various abilities. Therefore, every teenager should go all out and study hard to lay a solid foundation for building the motherland and climbing the scientific peak in the future; We should set up lofty ideals in life, strive to cultivate and temper our own will, shape a beautiful mind, and make all preparations for benefiting mankind to the greatest extent and realizing our own life value. If this period is entangled in love issues, it will certainly distract the study energy and waste a good time, which is tantamount to ignoring the great future of life. This so-called love is likely to ruin the talent, career and future of teenagers, and will regret it later.

(2) It is extremely unfavorable to the psychological maturity of teenagers. Teenagers' puppy love, knowing that they will be accused and discussed by their parents and other people in society, will hide away from the crowd and affect the relationship with their classmates and family. At the same time, they will have a lot of burdens in their minds, which will affect the normal development of teenagers' psychology. Some people even changed their personalities. Lively and naive girls will become aloof and indifferent, and psychologically over-aged, which is extremely unfavorable for healthy growth.

(3) If you treat love lightly, you will bear bitter fruit for life. The reason why love is called a lifelong event means its important position in life. However, teenagers have no experience, lack of life experience, lack of sufficient understanding of society, and feelings are better than reason. Therefore, when distinguishing between people and things and dealing with interpersonal relationships, people tend to act rashly, get emotional for a while, overcome their reason for a while and establish a love relationship with the opposite sex. Later, with the psychological changes, development and maturity, they may be dissatisfied with each other, thus cooling or interrupting their feelings. This situation will cause the disappointment of teenagers, make them depressed, and even form psychological barriers, thus affecting the healthy development of teenagers' spiritual life.

(4) there is excessive behavior, leading to crime. Teenagers' puppy love is mostly due to emotional impulse or mystery and curiosity about the opposite sex. This mystery and curiosity make them blindly imitate adults. When teenagers' strong curiosity and emotional impulse form a joint force, the very fragile defense line of reason will be washed away. In this case, there will often be excessive behavior, and even irreparable losses and psychological trauma to teenagers. If you are seduced by pornographic books or instigators at the same time, you are likely to be morally corrupt or guilty. According to the survey, one third of juvenile offenders have had puppy love. A survey in a province shows that sexual stimulation accounts for 22% of the respondents. The flower of love is sacred. Only at a certain age, people who understand her correctly and cherish her can cultivate it and let it bloom forever with sincere water. For teenagers, when the soil for love growth is not available, the wisest thing to do is to build a defense line, concentrate on learning scientific and cultural knowledge, and refuse to accept and spread the seeds of love.

Seven. How can we prevent puppy love?

First of all, we should think about the true meaning of life. Love and family are just a way of life for human beings, not the whole of life. There are many things worth pursuing in life. If you only lock your interest in the small circle of love and family, it is to belittle life and have no future. Countless historical facts have proved that those who truly achieve something are those who have insight into life and understand the general idea of life.

Secondly, we should correctly treat the rendering of love by film and television literary works. We all know the fact that art originates from life and is higher than life, far from being higher than today's film and television art, and some of them can even be said to be divorced from life. This is related to the social atmosphere. In today's society, most people do not advocate plain life, but like excitement and curiosity. Art has to be kitsch in order to survive, so there is a bizarre, romantic and more romantic scene. Such a young man who is not deeply involved in the world is in great pain and always wants to interpret a romantic story in real life. As a result, feelings were wasted and business was delayed. So I want to suggest that you don't move art into real life.

Furthermore, don't mystify love, look at your parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, brothers and sisters-in-law. Which combination is not the result of love, but how plain and real their lives are. Can you feel their romance? In addition, don't believe the boasting of puppy lovers. Love is your privacy, but some people use it to show off themselves. This abnormal behavior is either a personality disorder or an ulterior motive. What is there to envy when smart people avoid it?

Finally, we should grasp the principle of communication between boys and girls. (1) Simplicity principle: communication should be natural and generous, without selfish distractions. If you feel uneasy, you should communicate less, so as not to cause right and wrong and affect your mood. (2) Practical principle: communicate when something happens, and don't go looking for trouble to communicate with people. (3) Principle of moderation: Some people are kind and ready to help others, but helping others must depend on the object, and caring, sympathizing and helping the opposite sex must be enough. This is what is often said: "compassion breeds disaster and is convenient to get dirty." (4) Broad principle: communication with the opposite sex must be broad, not limited to one or two people to prevent misleading.