This feature is very suitable for doctors to choose a spouse. Studies in the United States show that there are nearly 50% doctors, and their other half are also doctors. The reason is that they are similar in age, education level, economic level and values.
Source: Soogif
Someone gave the couple a nice name-hero doctor.
However, even if their values are similar, their marriages are not all so happy and stable, and marriage needs to be managed.
Therefore, Lauren Ferrante, MD, wrote an article in JAMA, a top academic journal, analyzing the challenges and opportunities faced by doctors and couples, and making suggestions for the happy married life of doctors and heroes!
Source: screenshot of JAMA website
Lauren believes that doctors and doctors can't just live by partners. On the contrary, they need to bear many burdens that they should not bear, such as:
Passive separation
Studies have shown that most doctors and couples met, knew each other and even fell in love when they were students. But they didn't expect what would happen when they became residents.
In the United States, every medical student will complete different stages of residency training. If two people have different training plans or different graduation grades, their life and work arrangements may be very different. In the long run, even if they live in the same house, they are in a passive "separation" state.
Source: Soogif
Will it be better after residency training? No, work is also a wall.
If their ideal position is not in one place, then the choice comes: will one sacrifice or not accommodate the other? If you choose the latter, you will return to the situation of "separation".
Besides, don't expect to quit after a few years apart. Whether you are a doctor, a clinic or an academic, are you willing to clear the resources and contacts accumulated in one place for several years?
In addition to becoming "the most familiar stranger", the greater contradiction between doctors and heroes is:
Widowed parenting
The rising period of doctors' career coincides perfectly with the female birth peak. But after giving birth, the biggest question is-"Who will bring it?" However, doctors still work in the mode of night shift+duty, so one party must make some compromises for the family.
It's usually women who compromise.
According to some surveys, the efforts and achievements of female doctors with children are lower than those of male doctors; Female doctors or researchers with children are often restricted by the state even if they participate in academic activities.
This will inevitably lead to female psychological imbalance and become a fixed topic of husband and wife quarrel.
In view of the contradiction between work and parenting encountered by hero doctors, Dr. Lauren thinks there is a solution and makes a list:
Source: According to reference 1.
The core of the doctor's many suggestions is:
The unit gives strength+works hard by itself.
Regarding work, the ideal result is that both husband and wife work in the same unit, which is conducive to maintaining the stability of employees in the unit and promoting large-scale research together.
Therefore, the unit can implement some welfare policies, such as helping the doctor's spouse arrange work; Provide life support for employees' parents; Take more parental leave; Give housing subsidies and so on.
Of course, some hospitals will also carry out "blind date activities" among residents to help older young men and women match their partners. This is also employee benefits. ...
There are generally only two ways to raise children at home: actively changing classes and spending money on nurseries.
Both husband and wife need to actively coordinate work arrangements, meetings and itineraries, and prepare for the handover. If the economic level permits, children can usually be sent to nurseries or given to relatives. In short, it is to avoid "widowed parenting", and both husband and wife should bear the responsibility!
At the same time, communication between two people is also very important. Besides love, it is more important to talk about life, ideals, pressure and forge ahead together!
Of course, Dr. Lauren gave us a good plan. In fact, there are often contradictions between doctors and couples, but the employee benefits mentioned above are so nourishing ... I have never seen them before; Moreover, the price of child care institutions is high now, and children are basically raised from generation to generation.
Monthly fee for child care institutions
Source: screenshot of the public comment network
Therefore, without outside help, the only way for couples to get along is to improve their own quality: be calm, not talk back and respect each other.
Don't divorce easily. Because according to the similarity principle, the probability of the second doctor is very high. Maybe not now. okay.
Source: Soogif
Is your partner a medical worker? What are the secrets of maintaining the relationship between husband and wife? Reveal ... references:
1. Two-doctor family: the strategy of 2 1 century. Jama Published online in May 10, 20 19. doi: 10. 100 1/JAMA . 20 19.44 13
2. Putnam CW, DiMarco J, Keynes CB. Recruit couples who study medicine with two employees. Medical school. 20 18; 93( 1 1): 1604- 1606.
3. RL in Paalmann, Cape Ross, ML in lipson. Understanding medical marriage: doctors and their partners share successful strategies. Medical school. 20 15; 90( 1):63-68.
Photo from freepik
Topics: quarrel, marriage, psychology, doctor, doctor, double-income family