We have passed the period of food and clothing. Why does everyone's happiness not improve, but decline, and even many people feel that they can't live?
Because, although many of us have enough living materials, we don't have enough sense of security, let alone the ability to achieve ourselves.
Where does happiness come from?
First of all, a sense of security is the guarantee of happiness, and secondly, being able to realize one's own value is the source of happiness.
What can really bring happiness to a child is not simple money and material satisfaction, but making him the person he wants to be.
Everything money can buy is easy to lose in the end. Parents who succeed in education give their children more things that money can't buy.
In the article "Education Reform Should Start with Family Education" in People's Daily, five levels of parents are put forward:
Many parents complain: How can they give their children a good education without money? So, in order to make money, I make time for my children.
They neglect to accompany their children, only to give them better material conditions, and believe that spending money can make them get a good education.
Many left-behind children are abandoned to grandparents or other relatives because their parents go out to work, which brings psychological problems that affect their lives: insecurity, self-denial, indifference and so on.
Money can't make up for the lack of education. Accompanying with your heart is the only shortcut to achieving children.
Children often have the most problems in families that are used to meeting their children with material things instead of accompanying them. Children will feel that they have no money in the eyes of their parents.
These children can only find their sense of existence and superiority from material enjoyment, thus taking them as their lifelong pursuit goal.
Replacing companionship with toys is also a way for many adults to coax their children.
But once children learn to exchange money for everything, they will become slaves to money and material desires when they grow up.
Children who cry without buying toys are mostly caused by their parents' failure to accompany them attentively.
The second level is willing to spend time for children.
Many parents understand the importance of companionship and are willing to spend time for their children.
So what do we need to do in the process of accompanying our children?
Companionship before the age of one or three is to give children a sense of security.
/kloc-Before the age of 0/,parents (especially mothers) are the most important people for children. Being with a child and caring in every possible way can make him feel love and welcome and make him feel safe.
/kloc-before the age of 0/,parents should give their children everything they want. After 1 year-old, slowly and appropriately delay satisfaction.
2, 3-6 years old, on the basis of a sense of security, encourage children to explore and make rules.
During this time, we will focus on cultivating children's sense of time, rules and emotional control.
With such a foundation, children's future life will be much smoother.
Third, the most important thing for parents in companionship is emotional education.
Psychological research has found that as long as parents do three things well for their children, there will be no problem with their growth direction. They are:
Some parents are not well educated, but because of these three qualities, they can still cultivate excellent children.
The younger the child, the better the parents' state and the better the educational effect. Before the child is 3 years old, parents will adjust their status and the child will benefit for life.
At the second level, parents will be qualified.
Education is a subtle process. How can education be effective if you don't spend time on it?
There is a saying in psychology: everyone lives before the age of 5. It means that the pattern of dealing with problems in one's life is formed before the age of five.
In fact, the most important time for parents to accompany their children is before the age of 6, which is also a crucial period for the formation of children's personality.
Parents can give good companionship to their children before they are 6 years old, and education is half the battle.
After the age of 6, parents' role is more to be a guide for their children, guiding and helping them to become better themselves. This requires parents themselves to rise to a higher level.
Ma Yun said:
In addition to these, there are adversity quotient.
Education experts found that only 20% of a person's success depends on IQ, and the other 80% depends on non-intelligence factors, namely EQ, love of business and adversity quotient.
In fact, the IQ of each child is not much different, and their future life gap is often reflected in the other three non-intelligence factors.
Emotional intelligence makes people better control their emotions, identify others' emotions, and coordinate well in actual situations. With EQ, we can turn knowledge and culture into kinetic energy.
A person who lacks emotional intelligence can't communicate, can't make friends, can't ask for help when something happens, and can't help others if he has the ability. How can he achieve himself?
Love merchants let children know the essence of love, know how to love, accept and give love correctly and properly, and express love. All these require children to feel and imitate learning from their parents' loving behavior.
Loving the cause is a feeling, but also a responsibility. Only by loving business can a person take on more responsibilities and go further.
Adversity quotient allows children to face adversity and setbacks without losing hope and confidence, and to overcome difficulties and get rid of difficulties by relying on themselves and others.
This requires him to have a good calm mind, thus forming a good way of thinking and behavioral response.
These factors are often hidden in the daily state of parents and children. Only by improving themselves can parents better guide and achieve their children.
Einstein said:
Only by perfecting children's personality can children be in a good state to develop their extraordinary abilities and have a wonderful and outstanding life.
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Money can't make up for the lack of education: companionship is the only shortcut to achieve children.
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Children whose vitality is awakened will have unlimited possibilities and potential in the future.
The life background laid by his parents deeply affects the important direction of his growth.
The real starting line is the child's inner awakening.
Our educational technology is developing so fast that our souls can't keep up.
Is it better to raise children poor or rich? This article tells you a different answer.
Avoiding these three "black holes" will solve many problems in educating children.
Taking the heart is the best shortcut to education.