When the fish was bought back, the shopkeeper helped cut it open and cut three holes on both sides. The oil sizzled, so I put the fish in the pot. The skin of the fish is slowly wrinkled, and the edge of the mouth is rolled inward, revealing the white fish. The fish's eyes don't close anyway, which makes me very angry, so I stuck it in the fish's eyes with a corner of a spatula, picked out the white fish's eyes with my backhand and threw them into the trash can at my feet.

I know that if the whole crucian carp is soaked in cooking wine and ginger for two or three hours before frying, it will not only have no fishy smell, but also make the fish more tender. But it's too much trouble. You have to buy fish three hours in advance and watch the time.

No one has been repairing the range hood, and the white fog is getting thicker and thicker. I was in a trance, as if all the fried fish were next to each other, stiff and straight, with empty eyes.

The fish turned yellow gradually, and I vaguely heard a knock at the door in the rising white steam.

I put down the spatula, probably because he didn't have a key.

He is an engineer. When I think of him now, I will think of the keyboard sound and the brightest computer light he created in the middle of the night for "minute-accurate design drawings".

My parents' education on "no dating" runs through primary school to college. However, as soon as I graduated from college, I was anxious to have grandchildren. A year ago, I met an engineer through a blind date. I was only twenty-two at that time, and two people didn't hate each other when they met. According to the engineer, it means "OK, life can go on". After dinner, he gave me the wedding schedule, the venue time budget, and the color of each decorative flower was in place.

My parents took the engineer's hand and said, "Good, good engineer."

My little nephew, who just turned nine, also nodded deeply. "Good, good engineer."

They can't say why.

Now that it is agreed, I will get married.

"What's the matter? I'm not answering the phone. Do you know how long I have been knocking at the door? "

I calmly looked at the man at the door, dressed in a straight suit, and his hair was shining neatly with the help of hair oil. His thick eyebrows and round eyes show mercilessly how angry he is at the moment.

"I'm cooking, I can't hear you." I turned and walked to the kitchen.

"Why can't you hear? Don't you hear now? " The engineer tore off his tie at will.

I close my eyes. This is a play that will be staged every two days. Just like every time I go back to my parents' house with him, I keep saying, "Do you want to buy something for a lifetime?" These repeated words wrapped me up with a straight face. I took a deep breath and then opened my eyes. "Dinner."

The engineer cut open the center of the fish belly, and the fishbone bared its teeth and stretched around, while the fishbone on the black side was still lying bored, expecting to be swallowed at some point and then pierced the throat.

I poked up the snakehead below, and the smell and bitterness spread in my mouth.

"I have unfinished design drawings today. After dinner, I will take a bath and then draw on the bed. "

"hmm."

Every day's tasks include finding socks and underwear that he took off from nowhere. I have told him many times that things should be put in one place, but every day I just repeat what I said the day before.

From the shoe cabinet at the door to the porch, find clothes and throw them into the gray plastic basin in the bathroom. The water in the basin spread upward from the bottom, quickly devouring these clothes, and finally the bare skirt was conquered and drooped limply. I don't think I really have any strength. Leave these clothes like this, and don't want to take care of them for the time being.

Turn on the shower, sit on the ground and let your hair get wet. When squatting on the ground, I feel almost unconscious, but it is not unconscious. I just feel soft, not only my body, but the whole world is soft, as if it were made of mud, as if someone had finished the world and made himself out of scraps. Now I rely on my arms in a bigger world, or the world is accepting the snuggling of a smaller world. As long as I'm around, I can blend in. This feeling makes me practical, makes me nostalgic, and makes me unwilling to wake up completely and become an independent individual, with a foothold in every part of the world.

It was not until the chill brought by cold water made me tremble that I realized that I was back in that state.

I got married in this state two months ago.

I tried my best to raise my hand and turn off the shower. After all, the cold is too biting, even in the summer of 38 degrees.

At this moment, I heard the sound of TV in the living room. "On August, 2065438 1 day, the first lunar rover in China, the lunar surface patrol detector, traveled on the lunar surface to collect and analyze samples. This rabbit, who has seen the most stars, struggled in loneliness for 972 days and finally left us forever. "

Hey, rabbit, have you been studying and analyzing for 972 days? Will you have a little leisure time and just stare at two or three stars trying to hold together and find out the direction of the blue planet?

I suddenly felt extremely sad in my heart, like my heart was pulled out and placed on the 38-degree concrete floor, and the edge slowly bulged with small bubbles.

17 years old, the menstrual period is calculated before the college entrance examination, just after the college entrance examination. As a result, the only menstrual period in my 22-year life was advanced on the day of college entrance examination. At the moment when I had a terrible stomachache in the examination room, I believed in my life and my life.

Later, I went to a third-rate university, and I didn't take the postgraduate entrance examination or take the civil service exam. Holding a thin diploma, I hit a wall everywhere in big cities.

They say you'd better get married early. It is better than anything to find a reliable man to marry.

They said, while you are still young and have some capital, don't be married in the future and support yourself.

I still remember that blind date. A shrill, low voice mixed with joy and fatigue. They keep ringing in my ears at the same frequency. I seem to see the flashing traffic lights in the city, but I just want to curl up and have a good sleep.

The red watch on my wrist is so old that the paint has come off. My eyelids drooped so heavily that I could hardly tell whether the bright red pointer was moving forward or backward.

Yes, I just want to have a good sleep now

?

When I woke up, an incredible softness surrounded me. I barely opened my eyes and raised my hand to look at my watch. It's already half past seven! Isn't the engineer going out at seven? I didn't make him breakfast!

I rushed out the door and prayed that he wouldn't have to go to work today. I saw my mother when I was standing in the living room.

"Gu tu, you wake up. Yesterday, you said you might not be able to sleep. It seems that you slept well. " Mom said.

"Why am I here?" Then I went into the room, which was obviously my old room! This is my favorite mattress and quilt. No wonder I slept so comfortably!

"If you are not here, where will you be?" Dad's voice rang. "Go and have breakfast. I'll take you to the exam after breakfast. "

"The exam? What am I going to test now? "

"You are so stupid. You have forgotten the college entrance examination. It doesn't matter if you are stupid now. You can't be stupid when you take the exam in the future. "

I squeezed my thigh hard and felt very painful. This is not a dream. Am I really back? Can I change my destiny?

Time flies. I hurried in and out of the examination room. After all these years, I can't even write an argumentative essay. I was laughing at my fate the night before, but now I'm doing something to make it worse.

In the evening, I opened the history booklet on my desk and decided to record some historical events for tomorrow. 12 o'clock is coming, damn it, I'm still sleepy and my eyelids are getting heavier and heavier. Originally, I was at the dinner table. When I woke up, I was already in bed.

When I was sitting in the examination room, complaining that I almost forgot the comprehensive literature, I was holding a paper, obviously a Chinese paper!

What's going on here? This day is coming again? I think I have to sort out what happened these two days. Memory slowly retrogrades, and I follow it to find out why things happened.

From the political, historical and geographical pamphlet on the table, to the repetition school that was deliberately avoided on the way to the examination room, to a fried dough stick and two eggs on the table, to the cold bathroom the night before. I kept shuttling through my memory, and finally, I saw it! On August, 2065438 1 day, I stood in my memory and saw that the bright red pointer was not advancing at all, but obviously retreating!

Fortunately, when I was free in college, I also opened my eyes and wrote novels. I quickly accepted the fact. /kloc-that night in August, my mind was full of strong ideas to do well in the exam, so I came back the next day naively.

Although I came back, I still won't write the inscription on paper, but at least I wrote it the day before, saving me a lot of reading time.

The third is June 7th.

After opening my eyes, I got up and walked out of the room. I heard my mother say, "Gu Tu, you are awake. Yesterday, I said I might be unable to sleep. It seems that I slept well. "

"Yes, very good." I said. There is nothing wrong with my idea. If this day can be repeated, the day before will be covered, that is to say, as long as I can do it again the next day, nothing I do on this day will affect my future life!

I have a bold idea.

With 15 minutes left in the exam, I stood up, grabbed the paper from the man in front, wrote down his answers, and then read the whole paper. The invigilator is after me. I proudly made a face at her and ran to the podium to tear the test paper she was reading! Tear! Drop it! Yes! That's cool.

Although I alarmed the security guards and police later, I was still surrounded by many people and saw their mouths open and closed, spitting. But I know that even if this day doesn't repeat itself, not many people will remember it and sigh bitterly, alas, this child. Then turn around and go home on time. It's time to cook and have grandchildren.

I have a better idea. It is better to go directly to the test paper of the person who is the first in the school, even if he is caught, but he can come back the next day. I only have one idea now. I'm going to be admitted to Tsinghua! I'm going to be admitted to Peking University! Two or three days ago, I was a housewife. After that, I may enter a famous enterprise, become a CEO, and embark on the peak of my life!

On June 7th, I rode a bike until I mastered all the answers of Chinese mathematics. I thought I had written my paper well enough for this day, but lying in bed at night, I felt empty. I've had enough fun and the task has been completed. How can I get out of this day next?

The hour hand and minute hand in the red watch meet each other quietly, keeping arbitrariness within the rules. Anyone can only step on his own beat, but the second hand ignores it. A person walks quickly and always thinks he is the winner.

How lonely.

Sobbing sounded faintly in my mind, louder and clearer. It is so clear that I seem to be able to distinguish emotions, but I ask for a hug.

Who's that?

I always see her in other people. Some are like her eyebrows, some are like her eyes and some are like her mouth. I patiently selected them from the crowd and pieced them together. I finally met her.

I did it.

I love crying. I remember once, she kept looking at her watch, and then cried with a "wow". She said, "How lonely."

If I continue to do so well in the exam, I will never be admitted to that third-rate school again.

I am willing to use all my good luck to meet you.

The second hand and the hour hand finally managed to get together, and then moved forward steadily.

In the early morning of June 8! I'm out!

On this day, I wrote two papers regularly, waiting for the arrival of 12. Before June 7, my wish was to do well in the college entrance examination. I did well enough on the last June 7, so I was naturally out from that day on. In other words, repetition will stop only if the wish of the previous day is realized. Before June 8, I want to get a third-rate university score, and I have already done it, so now all I have to do is make a wish and see when!

All the hands on the dial began to turn quickly, and the dark black outside the window surged, like the grand beginning of the story.

?

"Chang 'e-3 successfully landed in the northeast of the rainy sea of the moon on February 4, 20 13. This is the only soft landing of the moon realized by human detectors in the more than 40 years after Apollo successfully landed on the moon in the 1960 s and 1970 s."

"Are you up? I didn't plug in my headphones on purpose. It's almost noon. Get up and eat something. "

When the familiar voice rings, complex emotions seem to gush out, and there seems to be a thousand words to say in my heart, which finally turns into one sentence.

"hmm."

I cried when I came down from the upper bunk, and my tears and nose were all over me.

"Come on," I said, "you are watching this documentary again. You cry every time you watch it. You torture yourself. "

The first time I saw this documentary, it was at the end of the last semester of my freshman year. I finished all the exams and waited for school the next day. That night, we bought a lot of snacks, covered the same quilt, and randomly found a documentary in the same bed.

After reading it, I hugged and cried together. Hugging is the most wonderful thing in the world. Hair will be tangled, arms will be tangled, chest will stick to chest, and heart will be intimate. Just like a person who has been traveling far away, he suddenly sees a small light in a distant farmhouse and suddenly wants to stop and raise a dog. In the process of hugging, I found that I needed her.

/kloc-When I was 0/8 years old, love surged into my life. I really fell in love with her.

"I should see this movie for the last time," I said. "I'm going to America with my boyfriend tomorrow. The plane is at 3 am. Sorry, I didn't dare to tell you. "

Staring at me all the time, although I have heard this sentence once, it still hurts to listen to it again.

"How old are we now?" It took me a long time to spit out such a sentence

"Senior three. Gu Tu, what's wrong with you? "

I looked around the bedroom and saw that the table and bed were neatly arranged, and there were two gray suitcases at the door. I suddenly woke up. It was this day, and I have never seen me do it since that day!

"Also, there will be a Leonid meteor shower at eleven o'clock tonight. I will stay with him in a hotel next to the airport. I won't accompany you to watch the meteor shower tonight. "

I don't know whether to nod or shake my head. I just looked at her stupidly, watching her dig two spoonfuls of cereal, pour it into the cup, and keep stirring.

"I accompany you to dinner? Or just eat some cereal? "

"Go down." I said.

I went down with two big boxes. I went to a northern noodle restaurant that I used to like very much, and I sent noodles to my mouth one by one. I always eat with me. If she doesn't come with me occasionally, I won't go to the restaurant. If she is in the dining room, on the empty chair opposite, loneliness will come and sit and look at me carefully.

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"I drink cereal to lose weight today."

"You have a boyfriend and you have to lose weight."

"Still ... I hope he looks at me better."

"Go abroad and then? When will you come back? "

"I don't know."

"Are you looking for a job related to your major or taking care of his business?"

"This ... I don't know. However, just go, although I don't know anything yet, I always feel that it should be like this. "

Noodles are picked up and then stopped in the air, I don't know whether they will be put into their mouths or put down again. I don't remember any philosopher who said that in an era when we know nothing, our life has been decided.

When I was sent to the school gate, she took the bus by herself. I'm going to the fruit supermarket to buy some fruit.

Before I walk out of the supermarket, my eyes will fall on the image on the glass. I stopped to look at myself, this is my hobby. I pretend to be observing the drinks and snacks in the supermarket, but I am actually observing myself, with dark brown hair, brown eyes and long face. I always blame myself for not being beautiful and thin enough, and at the same time show my most primitive and ugly appearance in front of her. Later, I found out that no matter what I do, she won't like me. Or, not like me as much as I like her. In other words, she knows I like her, but she doesn't know how much I like her.

Later, I found that I not only saw my face, but also saw the eyes of the pineapple as soon as the clerk entered and exited. The broadsword was ruthlessly cut on the watermelon. Occasionally, rotten watermelons will be cut off, naked and incomplete, wrapped in plastic wrap and placed in a sealed refrigerator. Suddenly, fear pierced my heart and my face twitched. I imagined a knife, a sharp curved sickle, tenaciously cutting the waist of a large piece of rice in the scorching sun, and my blood seemed to flow out with the white liquid left by the rice straw.

I still eat fruit, I just stop looking at myself.

I bought a whole bag of apples, sat on the roof and held them in my chest. I always feel that today's food has not been finished, and today should not be over yet. Until the afternoon 1 1. That night, all the girls gathered on the roof, which is usually where everyone hangs their clothes. Everyone is playing and chasing on the roof. Some people hold hot water cups to keep warm, waiting for the meteor shower that doesn't know when it will come. 1 1 After a few minutes, it began to rain, and it was getting heavier and heavier. The girls said to each other, "It's raining. Go home."

It is raining. Go home. Everyone who heard it went back with the person who said it.

I was still standing on the roof, and the wind got into my chest and cuffs. My hands and feet were cold. I don't know why I am so lonely for a moment. Stay. I should have told her.

So I took out my cell phone and pressed my name. The "beep" sound in the mobile phone rang for a long time, and fear climbed into my hair. As far as I can remember, I have never seen me do this since this day. Did something really happen to her? It was not until the cold female voice "The number you dialed can't be connected for the time being" sounded that I realized that I had lost the moon. The fact is that I lost the moon!

I rushed to the airport like crazy, broke into the hotel and knocked on doors, but I couldn't find her. Suddenly, it occurred to me that I should go to the roof.

On the roof, I did lie on the roof! The rain hit me, and her mouth was bleeding, but her mouth turned blue! I feel that the world is shrinking, shrinking to schools, airports, hotels, roofs and places close to my skin. I am the only one left in the world. Eyes bright red, ears only own heartbeat.

I wanted to save me! I did it! I wanted to bring her back to life!

Before I closed my eyes, I saw the pointer going back.

?

The first thing I woke up was, "I don't know, don't go with him."

When I was playing a drama, she took off her headphones and asked me, "What did you say?"

I sat up, looked at her below and said, "I said, can you not go with your boyfriend today?"

"What are you talking about, gu tu? When did I have a boyfriend? " Her eyes widened.

"That's not funny, ok? The three of us had dinner together before. "

I smiled. "I have a boyfriend. Why don't I know? "

"Can you stop pretending?" I said, "He is 1.8 meters tall. He is afraid of mice and lightning. He likes to eat whole garlic and onion, but he doesn't eat ginger. Haruki Murakami's works like Lai Mingzhu's translation, but he doesn't like Lin. He must carry lemon mints with him before kissing. But if there is any festival, you must spend it with me, not with him. If you give in, you can only spend it with three people. I told you, you told me everything. You fell in love with me when you fell in love with me. Now you tell me this man doesn't exist? "

Looked at me blankly, then sighed and said, "Gu Tu, you are sick."

I didn't want to talk to her anymore, so I plunged into the quilt.

At noon, I went to buy rice, and I met her boyfriend on the way.

He came out of the printing factory with a stack of paper, when I was buying rice in the next shop.

He raised his hand to greet me, and the paper was still swinging up and down in his hand.

"Buy me rice." He smiled with a narrow face.

I gave him a white look and said, "You are still in the mood to laugh. You will never admit that you are her boyfriend. "

"What are you talking about?" He frowned. "I thought you and I were always together."

My hand holding the money froze in mid-air. After a while, I said, "Are you kidding?"

"Disgusting," he said to the shopkeeper, ignoring me, "a chicken with too much garlic."

"I'll give you a full spoonful," the shopkeeper smiled and poured a spoonful of garlic.

This action and smile are actually very familiar, as if they had happened exactly the same.

In the afternoon, I went to Fontaine. Usually what she fears most is the big pendulum, but I like that kind of excitement. She always refuses to go unless she is promised many conditions. On this day, she dragged me on the pendulum and cheered all the way.

At ten o'clock in the evening, we slept in bed, found a horror movie, and vomited what was too fake while watching it. I am beside her, and I can feel her temperature.

I think this is what I've always wanted.

It would be best if this could continue.

?

Many days later, it is really many days, or not a day.

If according to my previous guess, the wish I made the day before succeeded, I should go out from this day.

But the days always stay on that day.

Anyway, I came back from downtown that day. On the subway, I took a look at her.

Soft light passed through her bangs and spread a thin layer on her face. I can see the fine fluff on her face, high nose and small red lips, and suddenly I feel that she is incredibly beautiful.

Almost not as beautiful as her.

I said, "I like it now. I like the eight o'clock rush hour. There are only two of us in the subway. "

I did look at me and smile.

I said, "I do. I really hope it will last forever, but I will marry an engineer in the future." You know, this is a real world. "

I said, "Bullshit, isn't this world the real world?"

I want to say no, but I'm a little confused.

Later, I woke up in the bed in the dormitory, and I was the only one in the dormitory.

I went downstairs, and there was no one on the path.

I walked into a breakfast shop, asked for a fried dough stick and soybean milk, put the fried dough stick in the soybean milk, lifted it, waited for the soybean milk on it to drip down bit by bit, and then sent it to my mouth. I'm in no hurry.

At that time, I didn't see the deep unhealed wound on my wrist, but there were no blood beads, revealing white meat, which seemed to be washed clean.

I didn't realize that this journey from the bathroom actually happened in the bathroom.