Whether it's "Poor Family" or the British BBC documentary "56UP", they just want to explain a social phenomenon: the social class is fixed, and it is very difficult to cross it. They observe the phenomena in the competitive environment in which children live through time, and use these phenomena to illustrate that classes are difficult to cross. Many literary works satirize this social phenomenon, among which The Journey to the West is the most famous. This is a fact that the public has acquiesced.
However, is class really insurmountable? I just want to express a social phenomenon by writing these articles, so that all children from poor families can be content with the status quo and not make progress? Or do you want the authorities to pay enough attention to it and try their best to give the class a fair chance to leapfrog? I hope that if I raise a problem, I'd better have a corresponding solution, whether it's for the poor children who really want to change their fate or for the rule makers. The solution in this paper is only for the children of poor families who want to change their fate, for reference only.
It is difficult to give birth to a noble child in a cold door, so what is a "noble child"? Have you mastered the ruling power? Rich as an enemy? Still famous in the world? According to Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory, I think "your son" should be a person who can stably meet the basic physiological needs and safety needs of your son and his relatives, occupy a place in their respective fields and make corresponding contributions, and live a happy life. Whether it is powerful, rich as an enemy, famous all over the world or ordinary teaching teachers in mountainous areas, it's just that everyone's values and pursuits are different.
First of all, we need to believe that classes can cross, although it is difficult.
If the class can't be crossed, then Zhu Yuanzhang can't be an emperor; If the class cannot be crossed, then there will be no regime change; If the class can't be crossed, then there is no Li Ka-shing. I have many friends around me, those with higher education and those without higher education. Many of them come from the poor post-80s generation and have made corresponding contributions in their respective fields (of course, most of them are starting companies and doing academics). I believe that most people are surrounded by many such people.
We think it is difficult for the poor to have a noble son because the children of the rich can inherit the corresponding rights, money and knowledge from their parents. Among them, the knowledge includes dealing with people (which is also the reason why the bank president thinks that the country is not good), understanding the society (which is the reason why Xiao Pang can better grasp the corresponding opportunities), values, personality and life pursuit. The monopoly of educational resources and the restriction of growth environment in society further aggravate this gap. It is impossible for poor children to stand on the same starting line with rich children in terms of rights and money through formal channels. However, knowledge is possible, and no high-tech products have been invented to enable rich children to have knowledge and wisdom without learning. At this point, rich children and poor children are on the same starting line. Of course, we should thank Tim, the inventor of the Internet. In Tim Berners Lee, the cost of giving children from poor families the same educational opportunities as children from rich families is rapidly decreasing. And rights and money can be acquired through knowledge (that's how it came about in thirty years in Hedong and thirty years in Hexi).
So what knowledge do poor children want to acquire? How to acquire this knowledge? And when will this change be completely made?
In terms of time, if you enter the door of a university, you should start when you enter the university; If you don't go to college, you should start when you enter the society. Many people will ask, why is this time? Why not start at an early age? Because before that, children's family factors played a decisive role in their growth. At this time, what children have to do is basically controlled by their parents. Parents' culture, behavior, right and wrong judgment and values represent parents' class, which further deepens the class solidification. From then on, children can make their own decisions on some things. Maybe everyone can see the problem. Since children's thoughts are the continuation of parents' thoughts, even if he can make his own decisions at first, his thoughts are still the continuation of parents' thoughts. This is the biggest difficulty for children from poor families to cross classes. I'll talk about this difficulty later.
Children from poor families must first set a goal for themselves.
Are the talents of many poor children really poor? Not necessarily. Whether it's "It's hard to have a son in poverty" or the British BBC documentary "56UP", it is mentioned that children in poverty don't know what they can do, what they want to do, what they like, and even dare not think about it. The goal of children from poor families is like a lighthouse on the sea, shining the children from poor families forward. This goal is like the mission of an enterprise, guiding the development direction of the enterprise. So how do you determine the goal? My suggestion is four points:
If you have some knowledgeable people around you, ask them to help me make some suggestions and set a goal;
If not, then there are so many reports in the media now, choose one you like as the target;
Try not to change your goals (ambitious people will have a long-term vision, and those without ambitions will always have a long-term vision);
The higher the goal, the better.
It is really uncertain whether this goal can be achieved in the end, but this goal can make children from poor families not lose themselves in the long and boring study and struggle career. Just like faith, faith can't solve problems, but at critical moments, it can always give people heartfelt encouragement and keep them from getting lost. There is still a dream, in case it comes true.
Poor children should put themselves in the environment where they want to achieve their goals.
If you miss the university, you will be admitted. If you want to do research in economics, then you should be in the research circle of economics; If you want to do business, then enter the business circle; ..... Even if you can't get into that circle for a while, you should try your best to get close. There are two typical examples around me. After graduating from two universities and working for three years, one puts himself in his own high-tech environment. Now it has been successful for six years, and its value is over 100 million. The other, who didn't go to college, 10 years old began to enter the society. After 80, he is now the largest agent in that field in a province, with an annual turnover of10 million, two lovely children and a happy life. Being in such a circle can reduce the learning difficulty of poor children, clearly know where their gaps are, and accumulate a lot of practical experience and resources in the corresponding fields. Once a professor from Peking University sent a graduation message to graduates, which made these two points particularly thorough (unfortunately, the original text was not found).
The most difficult thing is to change your established cognition, that is, world outlook, outlook on life and values, or to integrate different world outlook, outlook on life and values.
There is a saying in social psychology: culture is the product of helping the class to stabilize.
There is an obvious example of cultural contradiction around me. He is a rural man, went to college, and later worked as a human resource and started a factory to do business with others. He told me that he started a factory to do business with people, and some things of value (giving kickbacks, drinking with customers, etc.) could not be done. ), finally gave up the business of running a factory, and the factory closed down. Now I am the human resource manager of 500 companies in the world.
I have been in an environment, and I have not realized or realized the cultural differences. Because it is consistent, I feel comfortable. From one environment to another, you will obviously feel the cultural differences. The most obvious differences are: 1, the cognition of the world, and 2, the judgment of right and wrong. I believe that friends across classes will have a profound experience. It is difficult to change the world outlook, outlook on life and values that have been cultivated and cultivated with the change of environment. This kind of demand and the challenge of human nature require very strong willpower and can accept long-term depression without being discouraged.
Writing here, many people may ask: "My own habits are quite good. Why am I wrong and others are right? " Here, I don't want to say which habit is right and which habit is wrong, because in that environment, that habit and culture are the most suitable. What we are discussing today is how to give birth to a noble child from a poor family. Then, we should demand ourselves according to the habits and values of those who have mastered social resources and made achievements in specific fields. Of course, it can also be said that what kind of people we want to be, we must ask ourselves according to the requirements of those people.
In the process of change, generally need to go through the following stages:
First of all, recognize the gap between yourself and your goal.
These differences include: right or wrong, being human, knowledge system and cognition of the whole world. Putting yourself in your own target environment is the fastest way to identify differences. If you can't be in the target environment, learn more about everything in that environment. Many people have never found the difference between themselves and others in their lives. You can compare people around you and see if there is such a thing.
Secondly, according to the differences of the corresponding target groups, collect some solutions.
I do this and they do that; I think Huawei's wolf culture is ok. They think Google's open and relaxed culture is more comfortable. I think as long as I do things well and achieve the goals of my superiors, they think it is more important to deal with the relationship than to achieve the goals ... This stage is very long, because I have to really understand the differences between myself and others and how I need to integrate the differences between my own culture and others' culture.
Next, in your own thinking system, after integrating all cultures, you will change your actions.
This process is basically synchronized with the above process. But this process is a very long process. I once read an article saying that some cattle people become cattle people because they can constantly adjust their cognition and have a deeper understanding of the world. And the channel for them to expand their cognition is to read more books or articles. It is best to know where there is a gap, and then read more books or articles in this field.
This process is a long one. Many poor children are depressed 10 years before entering the society, largely because it takes almost 10 years. 10 years later, it is likely to soar in their field. Moreover, this process is self-driven, and many problems must be understood by ourselves, to understand human nature, to understand society, and to do something that is recognized internally but anti-human. After this process, people's hearts are very strong, self-control is very strong, and IQ and EQ are very high. They recognize themselves from the heart and turn themselves into engines, so their happiness is bursting.
It has been said in psychology that a person's attitude towards a thing has little to do with whether he does it or not, but has more to do with the situation in which people live.
Children from poor families are fighting against the growing environment and circumstances with their own hearts, and they are also insisting on being good people and not going with the flow, not sure whether they can achieve their goals. A rich boy only needs to develop step by step with the environment. This is the most essential reason for class solidification. But people who are really happy for a long time are people who are very self-approved (a research paper on happiness by a professor at Harvard University). As for happiness, poor children and rich children stand on the same starting line.
Finally, I would like to dedicate the words on a tombstone like Westminster Abbey to all those who want to experience or have experienced the above process.
"When I was young, I dreamed of changing the world; When I grow up, I find that I can't change the world. I shortened my horizons and decided to change only my country. When I entered old age, I found that I couldn't change our country. My last wish is to change my family, but it is impossible. When I was lying in bed dying, I suddenly realized that if I only changed myself at first, then I might change my family; With the help and encouragement of my family, I may do something for my country. Then, who knows? I may even change the world. "