Self-centeredness is the foundation of human nature. Without ego, there is no selfishness and no humanity. Since people are self-centered, it can be inferred that the closer they are to me, the closer I will be, because we can cooperate better and benefit me. People who are more similar and consistent with me are closer to me, so I am closer. All resources are conducive to my survival, so I kiss. A word summarizes human nature, which is beneficial to me, and the more I love it. Human nature is self-centered, and magnetism is centered on magnetic poles. They are all characteristics, and there is no debate between good and evil, just as you can't say whether a magnet is good or bad. "Mencius Gao Zi Shang": "Sex is still the end of water, the Middle East flows to the east, and China and the West flow to the west. There is no distinction between human nature and water. "
Only interests will inevitably conflict with morality. Are there good and evil things driven by human nature? I don't think so. The rise is much more than the fall. The same behavior, going up is bad, going down is good, saying this is good, saying that is bad. For example, justifying a fault, not justifying a fault will make you heartless, unable to take care of the emotions of your loved ones, and turn your elbows outward. If you cover up your shortcomings, you will appear unfair, selfish and heartless. Good or bad depends entirely on the viewer's self-centered interest and also on the viewer's explanation. There are some good comments and some bad comments on one thing. At this time, how can anyone sympathize? Then why is it different? Because of different interests, everyone is speaking for their own interests, so there are various voices. As long as the bad party has enough force, it can punish or even eat the parties. For example, the law and the public disapprove of terrorists, and they will be killed if caught. What about their accomplices? Of course, they applauded. The law of the jungle is the rule, and the distinction between good and evil is meaningless. Whoever wins and loses can speak for his own interests. People don't like what you do when you put it online. A man drowns you with a mouthful of saliva, which is force. "Zhuangzi Xiaoyao Tour": "The husband's water accumulation is not thick, his negative big boat is weak, and his negative big wings are weak." You are strong. You can do whatever you want. Not strong, so we have to rely on one side's interests.
Driven by interests, as long as there is a kind of resources, there will be unfair distribution, and the balance of interests will be tilted, because some people will definitely want to use this resource unfairly. Even if you want to be fair, you can't be fair because of limited resources. In the movie Gods Must Be Crazy, a glass bottle fell into a harmonious primitive tribe, which triggered a conflict between women for the right to use the glass bottle. Finally, the patriarch came forward to take the glass bottle out of the clan land. One monk carries water to eat, two monks carry water to eat and three monks have no water to eat. There used to be only one bucket, but now there is an extra pole. Pole is a tool, and tool is a resource, which is unfair. Three monks don't know what to do, resources are limited, a pole has only two ends, and three monks can't use it together, which will cause injustice.
Villains are always trapped at the bottom of human nature, and are good at maintaining and obtaining interests in the primary stage of personal interests. "The Analects of Confucius, Chapter 17, Yang Huo": "Only women are difficult to raise, and those who are near are not as good as those who are far away." Confucius told us that those who are near feel inferior, those who are far away complain, and it is difficult to cultivate stable feelings. Zhuangzi Miki: "The friendship between gentlemen is as light as water, and the friendship between villains is as sweet as ever." Zhuangzi tells us that a stable relationship is as light as water. It's hard to be stable if you want to. Instability is what Confucius said is difficult to raise, which means that if you are near, you will feel inferior, and if you are far away, you will complain. In fact, dealing with people, often dealing with villains, before you know what kind of person the other person is, deal with villains first. How to deal with villains? Two words: send. If you don't want to face the difficulty of distance, just send it away. You can talk to everyone, but you can't throw away everything in my heart. Just say three words and get rid of it. Don't take it seriously, and don't try to help the other person solve the problem, as if the other person's business is his own business.
What should I do if I have to face the difficulty of distance? Two words: hard to get close to. You are difficult to raise, I am difficult to get close to, neither close nor far. If you can get close to it casually, it will fall directly into the distance. If others want to get close to you, you should give them conditional help. Conditional, the other party can't get close to you, and can't get anything from you. If the other person can get close to you casually and get it from you, it will constitute a dimension reduction blow, just like the four-dimensional creature hitting the three-dimensional creature in Three-body, which is not at the same level. It is easy for the other person to get your benefits, and even put his hand into your chest and attack your heart, depending on whether the other person has a conscience. The difficulty is achieved by setting conditions. Don't set the difficulty. When you are a warm man, a good man, a good man, you just wait to face arrogance. Your situation is that it is against the original intention of kindness to emit light and heat and be disrespected. If you are kind to people, you must be prepared to be kind to people all your life, otherwise why bother? You don't give people psychological construction, and suddenly one day you lose your support. How can others not hate you? You give people psychological construction every day, and suddenly one day you surprise people. Why don't people praise you? Do things from beginning to end, persevere, or you are a buffoon. When you do something, you should consider whether it has a lasting property. If so, you are either ready to insist or you can quickly attach conditions to break the persistent property. If someone asks for help and you agree directly, then the consent to this matter will be continuous. If others infer that they will make a request next time, you will still agree directly. This inference is innate and cannot be controlled and eliminated. If you add "I'm in a good mood today, and you owe me one", then the condition will break this attribute, and the other party can't infer it. Of course, this condition setting is a gentle drizzle and a skill job. If you read my article, there will be a way from easy to difficult when you come back, which infringes on the interests of the other party, and you will definitely, but he will be dead before he can conquer it.
Be kind to those who don't have to deal with each other. Anyway, there is no difficulty in distance. Therefore, those without intersection can be good, and those with intersection can be supported. Support is support, just give it away, this is not the principle of being kind to others.
The ninth section of Mencius' Dedicated Articles: "If you are poor, you will be immune to it, and if you are up to it, you will help the world." A villain lives his body, a gentleman repairs it, and a great man helps it. It makes sense for a gentleman to cultivate himself. It is not necessarily reasonable for a villain to live his life. No matter what happens, no matter who is wrong, as long as he is not satisfied, it is that you are wrong and you are responsible for it. Even if he is responsible for 99% and you are responsible for 1%, he will seize this 1% and make it 100%. 99% of his mistakes don't exist. Even if he is completely wrong and he doesn't know it, he still thinks you are wrong and then blames you. For example, if he is tanned, then the sun is doing something wrong. Therefore, when someone accuses you, you know your villain, don't argue with him, forgive his villain's heart and don't be angered by him. You can think: it's not my fault, it's your problem. Why do you blame me? But you can't express it, because the villain won't accept that he is wrong, and what you say will intensify the contradiction. There is a popular dubbing about Tik Tok: The more I think about it, the angrier I get. He is arguing with me. Forget it. It must be a girl's voice. Girls just want to blame you, but they don't reason with you. It's totally unreasonable. What's the point of arguing? Put yourself down and let her go. If you can't say three or five words in a quarrel, shut up at once, because if you continue, you will definitely not be able to say clearly. There is no point in arguing, but a comprehensive argument is meaningful. The public is right, the old woman is right, and so are you. This argument is a simple one. If you want to rise to a meaningful debate, you must stand in a neutral position and not speak for yourself or others, but for the overall situation. If you want to be the messenger of the overall situation, you must have the overall situation. It doesn't matter if your speech is incorrect, but it must cover all aspects. It is meaningful to argue with such a person. Whether it is correct or not, we will discuss it again. So if you find someone defending you, don't argue. If you see an incomplete view, no matter how convincing, you should be cautious. If you find someone speaking ill of others, he speaks ill of himself. This kind of person is a cultured person who has risen to the realm of self.
Confucius said that women are hard to raise. There is nothing to say about this trait of villain. Most of the "women" mentioned by Confucius also have this trait, so Confucius said that only villains and women are difficult to raise. This "woman" involves gender discrimination and always has different explanations. In fact, no matter what the ancient Confucius meant by "woman", "woman" is definitely not a man. Only men are called villains. If a woman looks like a villain, she can't be said to be a villain. Let's just say that her gender and identity make her look like a villain. This is not sexism. Men and women are born different. It's just a gender feature. Her wisdom has not broken through the limitations brought by gender and identity. She doesn't want to be a villain. But if an adult man acts like a villain, it is a villain, and it is intentional. Children don't talk, don't understand, of course, stay in the primary stage of human nature, and don't blame him for being like a villain. Therefore, it is really not easy for women to be trained. Women are smarter than men on the road to being a scholar. What we are talking about here is women's inferiority complex, not women's gender as women. If you don't understand this, you will engage in opposition between men and women. What's going on here? When we talk about things, we are talking about people in a certain social relationship, and we are talking about the role of this person, not this person. Physically, she represents a person. Judging from social relations, she represents many people. Women talk to men, wives talk to husbands, mothers talk to children, and daughters talk to parents. Although they are all the same body, they have different functions and characteristics and can be regarded as different people. In some fairy-cultivating novels, the yogi can cultivate two incarnations, each of which has independent thoughts, and can be integrated into one person with time or separated at any time. The concept I'm talking about is very similar to this one. Never confuse concepts, confuse people's roles with people, and treat the characteristics of roles as the characteristics of adults. One of Xiaoming's doppelgangers is very bad, so you can't say that his other doppelgangers are also bad. When a person appears as a doppelganger, other doppelgangers are sleeping, and each doppelganger has a different experience. These doppelgangers like memories. If you say that this person's IQ is low, it is really that this person's IQ is low, not which character's IQ is low, because this is a physical attribute, and different characters have physical attributes. Understand this, then we now know that it is difficult to raise only women and villains. We are talking about a role of women and women in front of men in social life. Because women here, under the background of inferiority, acquiesce in this restriction, rather than simply being women. Women, as women, have these shortcomings. When she was a daughter, wasn't she? No. What about you as a mother? No way, how can it be stubborn and great to talk about the inferiority of women and praise the greatness of mothers in society? Because it's not the same role. Women don't want to take responsibility, which is the core, so men should take the initiative to take responsibility. Knowing this, you can understand many behaviors of women. For example, what does she mean by not saying? Can she promise? She agreed, so she won't be responsible? Don't just want it. What does she mean by asking if you want anything? Can she make a request? So she's not responsible? Actually, she wanted it herself. If you answer yes, she can get it by the way without any responsibility. She wants to do something, but can she say it? She did. Isn't that her responsibility? She didn't say it, and even showed her opposition, so that she could be more clear about her responsibilities. If you don't do it, her hopes will be dashed, and she will be very wronged and uncomfortable. If you give her a strong step, she has no choice but to get off the bus. She is very comfortable. Women want men's time, care and attention, so they may have all kinds of fights with men. There is no way. Little women are like this, with a lovely side and a villain side. After all, big women are in the minority. Facing the noise of women, giving more patience and care, giving more companionship and care at ordinary times, and being generous can solve many problems. In fact, men just want to protect women with open arms. Men are destined to embark on an extremely difficult road, and in this process, they will exercise their tenacious mind. In the face of this road, it is not worth mentioning to tolerate women's villains. There is no need to shake the mind for women's views and behaviors.
When interacting with people in the personal field, you can be reasonable, but you can't harm the interests of the other party, let alone explain why you should violate the interests of the other party with reason, because human nature is untouchable. He is at the stage of caring about personal interests. If you hurt the interests of the other party, the other party will not talk to you well. For example, a child wants to buy a toy, and then you reason with him and say no, which destroys his interests. He won't listen to this robber logic at all. Once you are reasonable, you must speak from the perspective of satisfying the interests of the other party. Children must have taken a fancy to buying toys. You must first realize that this step is to satisfy his sense of accomplishment and get a stepping stone to communication. Then you can discuss toys with him, how to play when you buy them home, stage a scene and suggest buying other toys to join the scene. In fact, this kind of communication is the most important thing. Isn't it just a few stinking dollars to buy toys or not? He wants to buy it, you buy it directly, or you don't buy it directly. The contact point is always money, not feelings. How can we enhance our feelings? The child wants to play games, you reason with him and let him study hard, so that he can stand in the society in the future. You say so, isn't that harmful to his interests? If you destroy his interests and he can accept it, then his interests will eventually be eroded and eventually eliminated by society. You are in a dilemma, he goes to school, and finally his interests are eroded. He didn't study, so he couldn't go to school in the end. Is it scary? I tell you, you have seen all the horror movies. It's all pediatrics. The most terrible thing in the world is education. Everyone is educated. One careless move will lose the game. I think that when educating children, we should teach them human nature directly at the enlightenment stage, and everything is subject to interest. What happened? Unless you know what to do later, you will still be upright when you are old. If you don't adjust your yin and yang, you will be stagnant, lifeless, just like me. Understand the personal interests, and then expand to the interests of the individual, and see that the scope of children's selfishness is getting bigger and bigger, then education is successful.
In the rules of human nature, the closer you get to me, the closer I get. Similarly, I will look forward to being closer. If you don't get close to me, it will harm my interests. Close to me, with a high degree of intimacy. At this time, I care more than solving problems. Stay away from me. At this time, solving problems is more than caring. In the face of people with high intimacy, don't think about problems, think about nonsense. For example, if a girl is sad and you can't solve the problem, then you won't talk? You can just say some nonsense, such as don't be sad, don't cry your body out. Straight men may think like this: nonsense, how can you not be sad? If you say you are not sad, you will not be sad. You see, this is problem-solving thinking, which is useful and useless when it comes up. From the point of nonsense thinking, others have expressed their concern by comforting you like this, and strangers will not care about you like this. Nonsense is useless. What if it's useless? What I want is that you take the initiative to talk to me, which is gentle, not useful and useless. In daily life, if you rush in to solve problems in intimate relationships, you will violate the underlying logic and keep yourself away from each other. According to this reasoning path, the other party will definitely come to the conclusion that you don't love her. Therefore, in intimate relationships, people who try to avoid solving problems and take the initiative to solve problems are fools, and girls are not necessarily willing to help you. If you have to solve it, solve it quietly and don't bring it to the table. What are you doing on the table? Hey, singing opera! You don't sing on the stage. Are you going to broadcast the work behind the scenes live? Life is like a play, it all depends on acting, and all problems are solved behind the scenes. Do you think there will be a problem with that stage? If you are not intimate, you'd better not care about shit, which goes against the underlying logic of human nature. Just solve the problem directly. At this time, we should solve the problem thinking. Work is work, and family is family. If you bring the problem-solving thinking at work home and don't switch it over, then you are a problem and you solve it yourself. How can you say such nonsense? Just talk about feelings.
If you harm the interests of the other party, you will be attacked by the other party and your own interests will be harmed. In order to protect your own interests, it is best not to infringe upon the interests of others, at least not publicly. One characteristic of China people is that they know what they can't do. But this is not true, but empty. The biggest feature of vanity is that you have a good attitude, but you don't have to do it in the end. At the same time, you tell the other party the actual situation, provide the decision-making materials for the other party, give the decision-making power to the other party, and let the other party sacrifice themselves: please don't do anything. If he is a outspoken person, if he doesn't want to do it, just say it. Virtual behavior is most commonly used when it is necessary to make a decision that is unfavorable to the other party. Virtual behavior allows the other party to make unfavorable decisions. I was tired when I came back from working overtime at night, and my girlfriend called. You are too sleepy to speak, just say, honey, I'm too sleepy today. I'll go to bed first. For this kind of thing that is not good for the other party, it is really a deadly rhythm to make a decision directly. What do you mean by empty? Baby, I worked late in the company today. I'm so sleepy, but I want to talk to you for a while. Your girlfriend immediately relented when she heard this, okay? Didn't you achieve the purpose of rest? So don't bother. Attitude is the most important. Speak first to show your attitude. If the other person doesn't want you to act, you can stop acting.
Human nature is self-centered, but your behavior doesn't have to be self-centered. Tell your son: "Sex is still in turmoil." The swift current will burst the bank and wash away the coast. The water overflows to make it bigger and nourish the four sides. We suggest that we enlarge our mind, enlarge our selfishness, force it to enlarge and tolerate others, and let it become selfish and seek benefits for ourselves and others. Small-minded, the water washed away, destroyed the bank and did some bad things. Big-minded, still water flows deeply, which can nourish the four sides. The more selfish you are, the bigger your body, the bigger your heart and the more you grow, from childhood to adulthood. The extreme of selfishness is selflessness. If you are as big as a country, then you are a great man. "Zhuangzi Xiaoyao Tour": "Peng moved to Nanming, the water hit three thousand miles, and the climber was nine Wan Li." As for the sparrow, a body the size of a bean, it knows the ambition of a swan. You are narrow-minded, with bad motives and strong arms. You can do whatever you want, but everyone refuses to accept you. You have a big mind and a strong arm, and you have nothing to say, even if you are cruel. How many people died when Qin Shihuang built the Great Wall? Did everyone mention him? Song Wu killed Ximen Qing and Pan Jinlian in order to avenge his brother. Did everyone say anything? Li Zongwu talks a lot about theft, but the slippery surface is thick and the heart is black, which may kill you, and the heart is too black to stand. When you are not self-centered, others are self-centered, human nature is profit-seeking, and others can rob you of your resources. If you are blindly good and your own interests are damaged, then the interests of others will also be damaged. This is wrong. You are either a villain, self-centered, or ruthless, protecting the interests of the individual under the attack of the villain, otherwise you will be stuck in the middle and your interests will be damaged. Modest gentleman, gentle as jade. The appearance is as warm as jade, but in fact, it is ruthless, not bound by morality, and broad-minded, so it can be called a gentleman.
People subconsciously think according to themselves. For example, people are obsessed with proving them right. It's hard for you not to explain that others have made you take the blame and wronged you. This is thinking according to the self. But on the basis of personal thinking, we should begin to practice adding some personal thinking and thinking about personal interests instead of personal interests every time. When you talk to others, the ego means that you are my brother and sister. We are a family, not for our own interests, but for our own interests. When preparing things by yourself, I also want to help others prepare things. Wash your own clothes and help others wash their clothes. To this state, a person's me has become a tolerant person, for my growth. How comfortable is a person's lifestyle? The lifestyle of two people is to ask themselves, "What can I do for you? What can I help you?" When you get along with others, you are no longer self-centered, but try to separate a pair of eyes to observe your performance and see yourself in the eyes of others. There is a kind of body, called void body, which is centered on nothingness and has others and itself in its eyes. In this way, you won't just see other people's mistakes without analyzing your own behavior. This is a step from ego to ego. For the person who thinks according to the ego, if you make a mistake, he will scold you, even if he makes the same mistake himself, but because his eyes are fixed on others, he doesn't realize his mistake. So when others criticize you, don't say that you are not so good. Why are you talking to me in such a condescending manner? He who sees through doesn't say anything, just ignore it.
Enlarge your mind and the world will care about you. If you only pay attention to your own affairs and don't cultivate the interface, you can't communicate with others. Exquisite and self-interested, unwilling to suffer losses, the two do not owe each other, and the interface is much less. We pay attention to rich interfaces, and rich interfaces can have more communication, which is the same as computers.