I dropped out of school.

I left the 985 double-class schools that others thought were strong, gave up the good tutors in others' eyes, left the metropolis I once missed, and came to the third-tier town to find a job with a monthly salary of 5 K.

But I have no regrets.

Because, I found my own poem and the distance.

The COVID-19 epidemic has trapped many academic colleagues at home, leaving the laboratory from eight to ten, and there is no need to do experiments every day to catch up with the data, and there is no endless trivia of tutors. Maybe we can seriously think about whether we are suitable for academic work during this period.

Many people around us are facing the pain of not publishing articles and the pressure of leaving school without graduation. Every day, I argue that I can't go on studying, and people who want to drop out of school abound.

Actually, dropping out of school is nothing new these days. Many people are on the verge of collapse and depression, but some people have taken that step, and some people don't want to or dare.

And I, in the painful struggle, made the most important decision in my life so far. Give up the doctor who just applied for half a year and drop out of school to find a job.

2

Let me talk about my situation first.

I am a 26-year-old male, majoring in undergraduate courses. When I graduated, I took the postgraduate entrance examination in my present school, which is a 985-pair first-class key discipline.

I have a master's degree for three years, and applied for a doctorate in June last year. I am nominally a college tutor, but actually a master's tutor.

When I first chose a tutor, I also made great efforts. I took a fancy to the resource background and academic potential of the tutor. He works in a large research group and has a background.

He is also a young associate professor. He has made great achievements in the past few years, and his promotion to professor is just around the corner.

At that time, I asked my brothers and sisters, and they all said that the teacher was very thoughtful and powerful, and he also sent many good articles. It is not wrong to learn from this teacher.

Therefore, at the beginning of my graduate school, I was ambitious and eager to try. I wanted to go on reading all the way and take the road of doctoral graduation into colleges and universities.

Shortly after graduating from undergraduate course, in June, the master director began to urge me to enter the laboratory, euphemistically calling it laying the foundation in advance. Determined to develop my skills in scientific research, I readily promised to go to school three months ahead of my classmates and started the road of scientific research early.

After joining the group, I took the lead in expressing my intention to study PhD to the teacher. The director also welcomed me and will focus on cultivating me.

So instead of asking me to take over the subject of my senior, I thought of a new direction (as it turns out, the teacher knows little about this direction and just wants to try it on a whim). I began to work seriously, but the new direction needed new instruments and equipment that the laboratory didn't have. The great director is reluctant to spend money on this and always wants me to find other solutions instead. I did it for two months and got nothing. My enthusiasm for the experiment was greatly hit.

And I also found that the tutor was not as thoughtful as my brothers and sisters said. He can't do everything by himself, and he can't give me much advice when he meets problems. More often, he will only let me look up the literature and try it myself.

But I had great respect for him at that time and was convinced of his ability. I don't think I can do anything because I don't work hard enough.

three

School started in a blink of an eye, and three months in advance didn't bring me any benefits. The master saw that this was not the way. After vomiting for a long time, he gave me a cruel grant and bought me a new musical instrument.

In the first year of the study, all the students around me mainly attended classes, and I often skipped classes to do experiments, which cost me a lot of energy and effort. However, because of the problems in the experimental design itself, it took me half a year, and there was still no result. The tutor was a little disappointed and kept complaining about wasting experimental funds. I am depressed, too.

Next, I switched to another topic that my tutor came up with, failure.

The next project failed again.

My graduate life is spent in constant topic change and repeated experimental failures. My tutor didn't give me much guidance. Most of the topics he came up with were just flashes of light, and there was no practical investigation feasibility at all. His attitude towards me gradually became suspicious and alienated from the original encouragement and support.

I also gradually found that most of his previous achievements may be luck, and he really didn't bring so many students.

The brothers and sisters in the group also began to vomit, and many articles were in his hands, which was delayed.

four

Things are getting worse.

Sophomore, Shuo Dao went abroad for further study. Our whole lab is in a panic, and the items in his hand can't be delivered. He is far away from home and doesn't care about everyone's experimental progress. The whole lab is like herding sheep.

Without supervision and guidance, plus no clear plan for the future, this year, I have no intention to experiment, indulge myself, play games, go clubbing and fall in love, and only have a handful of time to study.

It's a shame to say that when my classmates were frantically posting articles, I gave up on myself and finally got nothing in the most important second year of my master's degree.

In the third year of research, the master director returned to China, disappointed with us, and began to clean up the laboratory.

But I faced graduation and began to think about where to go.

Without articles and experiments, graduation is a problem.

Of course, the situation of other people at the same level in my group is not much better. I didn't have the requirement of graduation thesis, so I started looking for a job. Another master student wrote a Chinese summary, but at least he can graduate.

I didn't want to find a job, so I started the idea of studying for a doctorate, so that I could graduate smoothly even without articles.

It happened that there was no competition at our level, and several doctors in the group also graduated, which ushered in a small fault. The teacher thought I was sincere and down-to-earth, so he put a * * in my senior's article and contacted the boss for nominal guidance (he couldn't recruit a doctoral student himself). The whole process is also quite tortuous.

But fortunately, because there are big bosses behind me, my doctoral defense application passed smoothly.

It is easy to study for a doctorate, but difficult to graduate. I want to do projects, innovate and publish papers. I am also determined to turn over a new leaf, study hard in the future and make some achievements.

five

But the situation seems to be far from what I thought.

After gilding, the master director's mind is no longer academic. He began to want to move closer to the administrative system and hold some administrative positions in the department to evaluate the professor.

I seem to be a handyman after I stayed in the group. My teacher arranges all kinds of messy things for me every day I don't even have time to do experiments, and he rarely reads literature, which can't give me good ideas and directions at all.

I also gradually see that there is no future to follow him. I know that in this state, I will never graduate, and I will face great pressure and pain every day. However, in the crazy chaos of the tutor's affairs, I don't know what to do, and my heart has been shaking. I want to give up my studies and leave all this.

Finally, when I came home during the winter vacation, my parents noticed my state. I told the whole story, and finally decided to stop the loss in time after discussion. The road of life is still long, there is always a road that suits you!

Next, show the tutor the card, go through the formalities of dropping out of school, and submit your resume to find a job. Everything is developing in a good direction, in an orderly way.

After the first half of my life, I went back to my hometown to find a job in a small third-tier city.

Fortunately, the 985 master's degree is still a good sign, and I soon found a good job in the local area.

Although I gave up my obsession with big cities and college dreams and became an ordinary factory researcher, I was finally relieved and became happy and confident again.

Although I finally ended an experience, I can start a new voyage. Now, I punch in and out of work on time every day, do my favorite work, often visit my parents' home and live a satisfactory life. Looking back on this experience, I feel that after a long time, I have settled down.

Writing this article is not only to record my unforgettable experience, but also to remind my friends who are experiencing entanglements and troubles like me that life is not just the present. I really don't want to make a decision too early. After the painful struggle, we will finally usher in our own poems and distant places.