Going back to the dormitory and turning on the computer, this familiar action is a true portrayal of my undergraduate life. Four years in college, except for some basic courses, I have been lazy since my sophomore year. I slowly stopped attending classes, played games in the dormitory, watched movies, watched the news on the forum and drowned in the water. Although every day is very leisurely, it is extremely boring. With less and less time for self-study, I basically didn't go to self-study until the end, and my grades were also declining. The professional courses of junior and senior are cramming, so you are lucky to get an 80% test. Now that I think about it, I really regret it. Four years later, especially when I was doing my graduation project, my mood suddenly became very agitated, because I was faced with a simulation software with no clue and more than a dozen doctoral and master's papers all day. I'm thinking, even if you give me a year or ten years, I'm afraid I can't figure out why. Looking at those mathematical formulas and strange professional vocabulary, my head is swollen. I want to know what I learned in four years in college. Why can't you even afford the graduation project? What kind of student am I in a famous university? How different will I be now that I graduated from high school? I want to escape at the thought of this, so I play war3 with my classmates or CS with Fang Hao for one night, which can relieve the rookie's mood. Once I meet a master who can't beat me, I will try my best to win the opponent before giving up. Look at this, it is the truest self at that time ... It is incredible that a good student in the eyes of teachers and classmates has become this virtue for a long time. I wasted so much precious time. What a pity! I'm such an asshole and an idiot. As soon as I saw my busy classmates around me and heard them talking about knowledge they didn't understand, I was a little flustered. I want to know what I am. I used to take a science exam, and I am confident that I can do well in it. I can't do anything now. I didn't do well in the exam, and I dare not look for a job (because I feel guilty when I see the company's requirements). Needless to say, I didn't do well in the exam, and the communication in listening and speaking was even worse. Specialized courses are cramming, and I don't know how to program them. Anyway, I feel terrible. I have never told anyone about it, except once with a cousin and a good friend on the Internet. Even though I was admitted to a publicly-funded graduate school, I was never happy about it, because I never planned what I would look like in graduate school. I really hope that I can become a master in a certain field, but when I calm down and read books with professional knowledge that I can't understand, when I lie in bed in the morning and don't want to get up, when I find some reasons to play or kill time instead of studying, I really want to know what's wrong with me. Why am I ambitious? Why can't I stick to it before I start? When I read a book all morning or even a week and found nothing, I was thinking, where is the gap between me and those masters? I've never felt such a failure? What do you want to say about my four years in college? I replied: I got nothing, but I lost a lot. I even lost the most important thing for men, that is self-confidence.
The life of a graduate student is extremely boring, and he has to pick up a scientific textbook and learn the randomness and probability n times. Listen to Zhu's DSP. I'm just listening to gobbledygook. Lin's ASIC makes me confused. The only thing that makes me happy is that I can understand Roger's spoken English, which gives me unlimited motivation and confidence in learning English. Grab a seat is much more intense than undergraduate. I really don't understand what those people think. They take it as their pleasure to grab seats, and they don't like it. Listening to their lectures, I might as well watch the courseware by myself. Although I know I won't get high marks and won't get any scholarships, I don't think I can do it. I can only do this. I have been in and out of the library almost every day this month, trying to find someone who is immersed in the fun of books, but obviously the effect is not obvious at all. Either you find that you know too little to understand what the book says, or you find that the book you want to read has been borrowed first. Actually, when I 1 1 came out from the library for dinner, I kept thinking about what I did this morning. The answer is this: nothing. If you are reading a book, you haven't learned anything (I slept for a long time in the morning). If I don't read books, I must spend most of my time looking for books. When I keep trying to find my long-lost self-confidence from the book, I find that the answer given by the book is one word and two letters: no, don't expect to read any doctoral or master's academic papers if you don't understand the book. Because I think it must be a waste of time.
If what is the most important thing for me now, I think it is to find that long-lost confidence. This kind of self-confidence is not a temporary self-confidence that I gained when I ravaged several sets of novices in the game, but a long-term self-confidence that allows me to devote myself to my new life and study every day. There is also thinking and planning for the future. Of course, this can only be done on the basis of strong self-confidence. I plan to go home on National Day and go home early for the holidays. During this period, I will carefully consider my future goals and plans, and even plan in detail what I should do at a certain time of the day …