I am a senior anesthesiologist in public hospitals in China. During his visit to the United States in 2007, he got to know God and was baptized into the main name. After returning to China for many years, my faith is very weak, I am addicted to the pursuit of work and personal reputation, but I often forget God. I work in the affiliated hospital of a university, which means that scientific research is everything in order to get opportunities for career development. 20 12 in order to go further on this professional road, I obtained an in-service doctorate. Because there was no doctoral tutor in our anesthesiology department at that time, I chose a famous professor from the basic medical college as my tutor. This kind of interdisciplinary examination, like the Israelites leaving Egypt, is destined to walk a long way in the wilderness. ...
I. Disappointing research direction
When I visited abroad, my research direction was the toxicity of anesthetics to the brain. At the beginning of applying for a doctorate, my tutor said that I was free to choose my doctoral program, and I still had some research funds at that time. Therefore, after completing the credits of doctoral courses, I began to read a lot of literature and write a research plan for the subject. However, none of these research programs have been approved by the tutor. Then the tutor simply told me that the project direction must be done according to his national natural key project. The task he gave me was to study the relationship between a cell membrane junction molecule and the pathogenesis of cervical cancer. Being a tutor is a natural situation for others, but it is a great blow to me! Because my major is anesthesia, my research methods and related progress in oncology are almost zero. Even if I can finish this project in this completely unfamiliar field, I will do my own scientific research from the beginning! Disappointed, I even thought about dropping out of school!
At this time, I happened to be studying spiritual courses in the church. Through reading the Bible and meditation, when I pray to God, the Gospel of John 17 15 always comes to my mind: "I don't ask you to take them away from the world, but please keep them away from sin." I see that God's will is not to release me from the status quo, but to release me from the bondage of sin. Doing scientific research and not being tempted by sin means that I will not only do it, but also try my best to do it well! In this way, I finally accepted this arrangement calmly. Fortunately, the department still has enough staff. I have been working full-time in the laboratory since June 2004. Unexpectedly, I worked full-time this time, 16 months. Among them, I paid energy and time, paid the income loss brought by full-time, but gained valuable experience of walking with God.
Second, the exploration of experimental phenomena
In the hospital, I am a senior doctor and I am respected by my colleagues and patients in the hospital on weekdays. But in the laboratory, I am just an ordinary graduate student. In addition to consulting other graduate students who are more than ten years younger than me to learn experimental techniques, it is also necessary to clean and disinfect the experimental equipment. I try my best to play the role of a student, and a group of younger brothers and sisters in the lab call me "big brother" affectionately. In addition, I bid farewell to the busyness in the hospital temporarily, which also allows me to set aside the best time to read the Bible and meditate every day, and I can also attend church meetings regularly.
In order to explore the relationship between the target molecules of this subject and the pathogenesis of tumor, I have formulated several research schemes to explore and analyze various phenomena produced by the experiment. However, a few months later, there were not even some decent experimental results. Looking at the passage of time, I feel anxious beyond words. At that time, the only thing that could comfort me was the words in the Bible and the sharing of my brothers and sisters at the party. Until the end of September, 20 14, I saw a strange experimental phenomenon from the repeated experimental results, which was completely different from the previous research findings of our group: our research object-cell membrane channel molecules, has always been considered to inhibit tumors, but here it is proposed that it can help tumor cells fight chemotherapy drugs. Although this result does not conform to "common sense", it is remarkable. In other words, this is the only meaningful experimental phenomenon I have discovered in recent months. Although a little disappointed, I still calm down and think about whether it is possible to explain this phenomenon. I had a special confidence at that time. I believe that if this is what God wants for me, he will let me know how to do it! In this way, I spent two whole days, putting down other work to think and analyze. Two days later, I finally figured out a new hypothesis: when this channel molecule can't form a channel on the cell membrane, it will abnormally promote the occurrence of tumors in the cytoplasm through other unknown channels! So I consulted the literature to find relevant evidence, and then took this result to talk to my tutor. My tutor fully agrees with me and appreciates my follow-up research plan.
"The temptation you encounter is nothing more than what people can bear. God is faithful and will not tempt you more than you can bear; When you are tempted, you must always open a way out so that you can bear it. " (1 Corinthians 10)
Third, the difficulty of repeating experimental phenomena?
The English name of scientific research is research. When you look for a discovery, the difficulty becomes bigger and bigger ... (repeat). Research findings that cannot be repeated are meaningless. I found this special phenomenon on a transgenic cervical cancer cell line, so I will not only repeat this experimental discovery many times, but also repeat this phenomenon on other non-transgenic cervical cancer cell lines. So I began to use new experimental techniques (gene transfection and knockout) to verify this experimental phenomenon. For most researchers, this is a piece of cake, but for me, it is a huge challenge. Because of the "blind date" of graduate students in our research group, no one can do these experiments, so I have to learn from other laboratories and explore the experimental conditions myself. From 20 14 years 10 months to 20 15 years 1 month, I have been trying to repeat the experimental phenomenon with these techniques, but nothing has been achieved, and even the evidence of successful transfection has not been made. Do experiments overtime every day, and stay in the laboratory all day long. It is said that Kobe has seen Los Angeles at four o'clock in the morning, but I have seen many in the morning on the university campus. But no matter how hard I try, the experiment always stops at this repetition and stagnates. I had hoped to graduate in June of 20 15, but with the passage of time, this possibility is getting smaller and smaller; At the same time, I began to have frequent stomach pains (I later learned that I had duodenal ulcer) and my mood was very low.
/kloc-On a Friday in February, I did an experiment, which lasted from early morning to 7 pm, and failed again. I had to go to church from the laboratory in the rain with an empty stomach and braved the temperature of less than ten degrees. At the Bible reading party that night, we shared the contents of chapter 16 of John with each other. John recorded many things that Jesus told his disciples the night before he was crucified. He said he would leave them, but he will see them again soon. He said to his disciples, "You are also sad now, but when I see you again, your hearts will rejoice. No one can take away this joy ... You have never asked for anything in my name, but now you will get it, so that your joy can be satisfied." (John 16:22-24) Jesus predicted that his disciples would be resurrected because of their own death, and they would face a process from sadness to joy. I understand that what the Lord really wants to give me is not necessarily to let me graduate smoothly as soon as possible, but to let me learn to obey and entrust in difficulties, so that I can rely on him to be happy. What Jesus achieved on the cross was love and redemption, but no matter how helpless I am, I can firmly believe that there is a God who loves and supports me. Whether the experiment succeeds or fails, and whether I can graduate as I wish next year, what the Lord really wants to give me is his ability to transcend the environment and a happy heart! That night, I braved the rain and cold wind to go home, but my heart was warm and I had a smile on my face.
Come to me, all you who are tired and burdened, and I will give you rest. I am gentle and humble inside. Take my yoke and learn from me. Then you will find peace in your heart. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. "(Matthew 12:28-30)
After fully accepting the fact that I can't graduate on schedule, I continued my experiment step by step in the next six months, and actively taught these experimental techniques (realtime-qPCR, overexpression plasmid and siRNA transfection, etc.) to my brothers and sisters, which not only helped them, but also made us more United as a team. The transfection experiment was successful and the experimental phenomenon was successfully reproduced. Then, relying on the understanding of previous clinical research and statistical basis, I assisted the tutor postdoctoral fellow to sort out and analyze the pathological specimen data of cervical cancer collected by the tutor research group in another university, and some of the data were completely consistent with this special experimental phenomenon. Then, I helped and encouraged some brothers and sisters to join my project. On the one hand, I have an understanding of the clinical situation and a large amount of literature accumulation, which can give them the direction and ideas of research and let them have their own topics; On the other hand, they have more time than I do, and they can help me make up the remaining experiments in some projects. In this way, the molecular mechanism revealed by all kinds of experimental evidence in this subject is becoming more and more complete! To this end, I also drew a picture to describe this mechanism. It is always comforting to count the fruits you have planted. During this time, I can really enjoy the fun of scientific research! 20 15 12, after sorting out all the information, my doctoral thesis successfully passed the defense, and I got the doctoral diploma. Finally, I ended my full-time job of 16 months and officially turned to another stage of this "road to scientific research wilderness": submission and publication of papers.
In addition, in May, 20 15, that is, the day when I should have finished my graduation defense, I completed my formative course in my own church, was selected to participate in the Ministry, and became the leader of the Bible speed reading course until today.
Fourth, is it difficult to submit and publish?
If experimental data is the core of a scientific research, then publishing papers is the life of scientific research. No papers have been published, and all the research findings are just a bunch of unrecognized guesses. Universities have long stipulated that in order to get a doctorate, papers must be published in international journals indexed by SCI. Perhaps the defense judge overestimated the research, or the research story looked too good. The tutor requires that the paper must be published in the journal with the impact factor of 10! In this way, the wall of Jericho in front of me became extremely tall and indestructible.
In this way, I went to my wall in Jericho and tried to pry it down ... My first target journal was JNCI (Journal of the International Institute for Cancer Research), the top journal of oncology. In order to increase the possibility of being hired, I invited my tutor, a famous American professor, to help me revise my thesis. When we revised the paper by email, the old professor gave me an endless English writing class with meticulous and persistent logic. In the middle of the night at the beginning of 20 16, after I uploaded all kinds of charts and manuscripts on the submission system with great expectation, I finally got a good sleep after pressing the' Submit' button. However, this relaxation only lasted for more than a week, and the magazine editor simply replied that our paper was not at their required level and refused! In the days that followed, I was rejected by journals such as Cancer Discovery, Nature Newsletter, Cancer Research and Clinical Cancer Research. Every time, according to the format requirements of the editorial department, I worked hard to modify the manuscripts and charts and threw them out hopefully. Then I received a reply of rejection in the shortest week and the longest two months.
Now, I'm not full-time, but I do these things at work. The younger brothers and sisters in the laboratory have no experience in submitting papers, so it is impossible to discuss countermeasures with the members of the research group. My tutor is busy with administrative work and has no time to help me. The old American professor who helped me revise my paper gradually stopped answering my questions about submission. By reading the literature of some top journals, I know that the main problem is that the research methods and molecular mechanisms used in this study are a bit outdated and have limited application prospects. I have to repeatedly tell my tutor to lower the submission requirements and submit to journals with low impact factors. At that time, my mood fluctuated with "preparing materials → submitting → being rejected → preparing materials again".
Half a year has passed, and at the end of 20 16, I still haven't seen a glimmer of light. No matter how hard I try, my "wall of Jericho" still stands! In the predicament, all the people who can rely on have left. I know that only my God can rely on me. This matter has long been included in our family's prayers every night. Since then, I have invited my brothers and sisters in the church to pray for me and ask the Lord to enable me to overcome this obstacle. In addition, no matter what the situation, I never stopped serving in the church, insisting on preparing lessons every week and taking the group to study the Bible.
"This is not by strength, nor by ability, but by my spirit," declares the Lord of hosts (Zechariah 4:6).
In February, 2065438+2006, after Cell Death and Differentiation was rejected again, the editors unexpectedly attached a paragraph: They said that they also had a periodical Cell Death and Death (usually referred to as CDD for short), and they were willing to accept my paper, and arranged for the responsible editor to attach their email address. Although the impact factor of this journal is only 5.9, I don't think I have the ability to miss this opportunity, so I seriously discussed this matter with my tutor and finally got his consent. After switching to small CDD, I also communicated with editors and reviewers many times, revised papers and supplemented materials. After several setbacks, the paper went online in May 20 17.
According to the Bible, on the seventh day of the siege, Joshua led the Israelites around the city seven times. The priest blew the horn, people shouted loudly, and the wall collapsed. And my paper was finally published after seven submissions!
Verb (abbreviation of verb) changes in family life and belief life?
Talk to my wife about this before planning to write this testimony. To my surprise, she told me that she missed the days when I did experiments after work and was grateful for these years! Indeed, during the time when I concentrated on scientific research, I lived a simple life of two points and one line in the laboratory and at home every day, and I had more energy to care about her and her family. In recent years, my daughter has just transferred from kindergarten to primary school. I pay great attention to guiding her to adapt to the new school environment. In addition to daily tutoring assignments, she also specially accepted the teacher's invitation and gave the class a lively and interesting lesson on human physiology. The popular science videos in the class are dubbed by our family of three. In this process, our relationship between husband and wife and my image in the eyes of children have changed a lot!
In the church, as mentioned above, I changed from an idle ordinary believer to a member of the service team and from a team member to a team leader. In addition to daily service, I also participate in some church visits, provide some simple medical advice and suggestions for sick brothers and sisters, and preach the gospel to unbelievers. This year, I have a new feeling: every Christian in the workplace is the body of Christ, so we should integrate more faith into our work and bear witness to the Lord. This is not to say that we should "exclude dissidents" like those religious extremists, but to live the love of Christ in our work and let people know that Christians have different attitudes towards work and customers (patients) from the world.
6. How will the road to scientific research go? ?
This "wilderness road" of scientific research took three years from June 20 14 to May 20 17 (not counting the time spent reading documents and writing research plans in my spare time in the previous year). In terms of scientific research results, I got a paper. If you want to apply for your own topic next year, you have to start all over again. After such a detour in scientific research, I see more that God is guiding me to take a "duty" road, that is, to do clinical work well first. In the past year, in addition to revising and submitting papers, I have been trying to learn some new technologies (such as bedside ultrasound related technologies), which has greatly improved my clinical skills. This scientific research experience has improved my ability to analyze and solve problems, but these abilities can not only be used in scientific research. Should I continue to be such a part-time clinician engaged in scientific research in the future, or should I be a doctor more purely? The only thing I know for sure is that God will lead me to inherit the promised land.
On the other hand, I believe that no matter how cutting-edge research and revolutionary achievements are, they are obtained by explorers through exploration, analysis, reasoning and verification step by step. On the way to scientific research, explorers just cross the river by feeling the stones. This requires the explorer to have an eternal, unhurried and unhurried heart. In today's increasingly rampant utilitarian orientation in academic circles, believing in God is not only not superstition, but also the best choice for explorers to live safely on the worrying and even degenerate scientific research road!