"Go as far as possible!" Mei thought, since she knew that she still had a chance to leave home.
In high school, my classmates complained about black steamed bread and oily cauldron dishes. In the evening, Mei lay enviously in her good friend's bed, staring at the ceiling covered with newspapers. She didn't think the dormitory was narrow and smelly at all. When she volunteered in college, Wan Mei chose the place where she wanted to take a green leather car for a day and a night. The day before I left home, when my mother handed me 500 yuan, my eyes were red and I couldn't bear to leave home late. At night, Mei was overjoyed and eager to leave home, just like Xiaoyan who always wanted to fly out of her nest.
After graduating from college, Mei went to another city farther away from home with her boyfriend in the evening. "I want to live in a snowy place" is her reason, but who knows how Hunan girls can stand the ice and snow at MINUS 30 degrees? Only she knows in her heart that a quiet table can be set in that distant place.
When her daughter was one year old, her father was hospitalized with a fracture, and Mei took her children back to her hometown at night. When mother hugged her daughter, she couldn't help crying. The next day, when Mei was going to the vegetable market to buy a chicken to supplement her father's health, she met a mother and daughter. The daughter took her mother's arm and begged her mother to braise pork ribs for her. Mother nodded her daughter's nose and called out "little greedy cat" Food slipped between Mei's hands, and there were a few tears, holding hands with her parents, but Mei didn't learn!
Those invisible scars push late May far away! The nearest home is farther than the distance from mom and dad!
At dinner, Mr. Wang motioned Xiaoyu to pass the napkin at hand. Xiaoyu saw Mr. Wang's lips squirming, but her eyes had crossed Mr. Wang's shoulders and fell on a bird in the pear tree in the backyard. The other day when I was chopping vegetables in the kitchen, two birds flew up and down from the open window. The light female bird flying in front is always willing to get into the dense leaves, while the subsequent male bird, stupid, has to watch out for squirrels from time to time to protect the female bird who doesn't know the depth. Only when the branches and leaves are intermittent can they sing and talk easily. After a short stay, the demand for foraging raised its wings again.
When Xiaoyu learned the news of the company's layoffs, she carefully wrapped her emotions so as not to worry her husband. She decided that the process of finding a job should be faced by herself after all. Although quietly, the free eyes still reveal anxiety. Many times Xiaoyu stared at the trees in the backyard.
Nevertheless, Mr. Wang is very considerate. When he went out one day, he turned to her and said, be cheerful, others will not be bored, and there will be jobs. Xiaoyu suddenly realized that Mr. Wang was the male bird, who had been silently taking care of himself and helping himself in the most appropriate way when he needed it most. It is wishful thinking that she is willing to bear the loneliness of the road alone in order to walk on the white gravel road alone, and slowly towards the distant.
Sometimes, perhaps because of stubbornness, we ignore the things that are close at hand and understand the warm present and eyes as lonely and cold distant places; Sometimes, even if you have to face it yourself, it doesn't mean you have to refuse a rose on the way to a distant place.
Two days before the Lunar New Year, classes in Wuhan were closed. Simon's parents are in Wuhan, but her only daughter is in Britain, watching the rising figures in horror and listening to various media reports in fear.
Before going abroad, Xiao Liu in the office learned that Simon was about to fly to England. After the congratulations, he blew a bunch of hair on his forehead and said with a smile, "I won't go abroad. I can't bear to part with my family." Simon wanted to laugh a little, but he didn't like a handsome guy who was 1.85 meters tall. At that time, Simon was haunted by many dreams: the Tower Bridge in the fog and the stone castle in medieval Europe.
The community is closed, and Simon thinks about whether his parents can operate online shopping. Schools, shopping malls and buses have all stopped. Simon is worried that his father will say goodbye to his old friends who like opera and the unshakable amateur activities in the corner of the park for the time being. My parents' daily life is limited to a building of 100 square meters. They either cut off dead leaves and water a pot of water in the flowers and plants on the front balcony, or go to the table, drink a pot of freshly brewed green tea and read some old books.
In mid-March, the situation in Britain became more and more tense. My mother calls Simon almost every day, asking him to wear a mask and take his temperature. Simon took the microphone and stroked his little daughter curled up between his legs. After all, he was afraid to tell his mother that the mask was out of stock.
As soon as the news of the suspension came out, Simon "thumped" in his heart: "An hour's flight", which was originally a reason for parents to comfort themselves and miss their daughter, turned out to be like a ground crack at a special time, bottomless and abruptly separated them. My parents are old. One thousand ... Simon dare not think, can only hold back tears.
A few years ago, Simon returned to China to visit relatives. On the plane back, he remembered the scene of seeing his parents off at the airport just now, and tears welled up in his eyes. When I was in college, my father sent Simon to school, and I was reluctant to buy a sleeper and orange juice. Simon's embarrassment is like complaining about his father's pedantry in climbing up and down with oranges on his back. It was not until one day that his son plausibly said that he could order takeout that Simon suddenly realized. The son belongs to himself, just as he belonged to his father. The son's long journey brought him closer to his father. The night before, my mother secretly stuffed a bag of dried dates into the suitcase, which could no longer explain the embarrassment of those oranges.
A sentence echoed in my mind: "Only time and space are insurmountable". This sentence that popped up in an instant made her wake up: "Distance has finally become a distance. When I really went far away, I found that there was still a longer distance. When I looked back, the fog lock came back, and the original starting point became a real distance. "
My aunt came to the provincial capital to see a doctor because of cancer and lived in Li Jing's house. The kind old man was still working in the fields a few months before he fell ill, and people in their seventies left the land for less than a week. The shiny little train, plane and car toy in her daughter's hand are all unheard of novelty in her aunt's eyes. Li Jing looked at the wrinkles on her aunt's face. When she was working in the field, the ditch where sweat flowed was full of vicissitudes. The old man who has never been out of the mountain village in his life knows that his daughter-in-law belongs to the Li family in the neighboring village a few miles away, and his daughter married a bamboo slip a few miles away. "Far" in the eyes of the old man, in his heart, is the distance between aunt and grandfather driving donkeys to and from the market.
Several promising children tried many times to take their aunts and grandmothers to live in the county, but they were reluctant to stay at home: chickens and rabbits that were left unattended, idle weeds, baskets that needed to be dried, and corn. These are things that my aunt and grandmother can't give up, but they are all precious. Jing Li and her aunt are sitting on a bench in the community. The old man looked up at dozens of tall buildings around him. Pigeons are like cages, saying, I'm dizzy.
Jing Li looked at the old man's messy white hair and suntanned face, and felt sad: there will be such a big difference in people's lives: some people pursue distant dreams all their lives, while others never leave their homeland. Who knows whether it is more painful for people with "distant" dreams to be disappointed again and again, or whether life without imagination and desire is more satisfying? It's western food by candlelight, polite waiters and several dishes explained in pure French, just like "oatmeal stewed potatoes" in the distance under the bean oil lamp?
Xin-er is "someone else's child". She is cute, smart and clean. In a word, it is no exaggeration to use any compliment language to her. Key high schools and universities always seem to be blessed along the way.
However, just the night before the doctoral thesis defense, Xin Er jumped from the fifth floor window and fell on the concrete floor in front of the dormitory building. A plastic diary was scattered in the wind, and the opened page was full of "poetry and distance".
"Why does my red skirt grow to my ankle?
Why can't I cry when I fall?
Why do you have to pinch yourself when you have a crush on a boy?
Why did the composition say that the sick teacher insisted on attending class when she clearly didn't?
Why does mother want me not to play with Xiao Fang? Is it because her mother is a sanitation worker?
Why do you have to choose science and engineering instead of touching your favorite paintings?
……"
Those questions are like stones thrown into a bottomless pool, all of which are bowed down by ordinary stone pools, but they can't wait for that answer for a long time.
Because of "self-discipline", Xin-er watches others eat their favorite ice cream; Because of "hard work", Xiner had to take stimulants many times; Because of the number of trips, Xin-er had to bow to the counselor; Because of the distribution problem, Xin-er had to accept the engagement of Uncle Zhao's son. ...
Not long ago, "success" and "Excellence" were still in my ears, and hundreds of millions of people were worthy of success. Is it excellent to have a high position and a high position? People talk about "success" and "Excellence", which can't stand one more rhetorical question, but become fashionable, vain flattery and frivolous inferiority. Use "green tea" to lose weight today, and there will be "medlar" for health tomorrow. Some people in the spiritual world are also like this, and the speed of turning pages can never catch up with the finger that swipes the screen. The speed of innovation of new concepts exceeds the speed of self-definition and understanding of others. Fashion and fuzziness obscure the original connotation, and the blind obedience and excessive quotation of "giving up the basics" eventually lead us to fall into "spiritual opium", unable to extricate ourselves and lost in reality.
Because of the "poetry and distance" in the eyes of many people in this world, Xin Er forbeared and regressed, making the small happiness and happiness in front of her live in the distance. What is the distance? Is it seductive mystery or an excuse to escape from reality?
Distant confusion is the last straw to overwhelm Xin-er.