With the growth of age, our thoughts become more and more mature, and we want to highlight our personality. Coupled with the aging of parents, it is inevitable that the two generations have different ideas. We feel that our parents are old-fashioned and ignorant, unable to keep up with the trend of the times, nagging and always making irresponsible remarks. On the contrary, our parents think that we are not good, we are not as obedient as when we were children, we won't refute anything we say, and now we always get some useless new things. The bigger we are, the harder it is to manage. In this way, due to different concepts and different views on things, there will inevitably be a generation gap. Therefore, we study this topic so that we can correctly understand the generation gap, cross it and build a bridge of communication between the two generations.

Introduction (what is the generation gap): The generation gap refers to the differences in ideas and behavior habits caused by children abandoning their parents' original views and gaining new ones in the process of going to society. People of different ages live in different circles and come into contact with different things and people, so their ways of thinking and behavior are also different. If this difference is not improved and allowed to expand, an invisible wall will be formed between the two generations, which is easy to misunderstand. This is the psychological generation gap. To paraphrase a modern language is the so-called "generation gap". The word "generation gap" is literally translated from English Generation Gap. Because of its proper and novel translation and easy memory, it immediately became a common language. From the perspective of translation, "generation gap" is better than the original word "generation gap". The trend of modern translation seems to be that phrases have the upper hand, and tedious translation seems to be out of date. The word generationgap appeared not long ago, probably in the late 1960s. Generation refers to people of the same generation. It refers to a "generation", which is about 25 to 30 years, but there is no limit. It is likely that people who are ten years apart will be considered as another generation. As for the original meaning of the word gap, it is a gap, crack or gap. In the abstract, it is the difference between personality and viewpoint. Western scholars have had a heated debate about the existence of the generation gap. At first, some psychologists thought that most young people accepted the tradition in values, so they could not admit the existence of the "generation gap". However, in recent years, the problem of "generation gap" has become more and more obvious and serious, which makes people who disagree have to face up to this problem. It has been suggested that it is not difficult to narrow the generation gap between adults and teenagers. Just "read young people's books and newspapers, watch young people's movies and TV programs, and participate in young people's activities." There is a generation gap between the ages of three and twenty, but now in the fast-paced 2 1 century, there will be a "generation gap" when you are three years old. It is the so-called "three-year-old generation gap". Reasons for the generation gap: the generation gap refers to the psychological and behavioral gap between two people of different ages and the difficulties in understanding and communication caused by this difference. I think there are two main reasons for its appearance: First, teenagers' independence has begun to increase, and they no longer want to be attached to their elders. They are always dissatisfied with their parents' arrangements and guardianship and want to solve their own problems.

And this is the key to the problem! It is often arranged by parents, so we all respond with resistance. The more so, the greater the distance! Second, from the family. If parents don't understand our psychology of wanting to grow up and always talk to us or educate us as before, it will also complicate the problem and make things more and more difficult. Eventually, even the children will run away from home. Solution: Young people should understand their parents' difficulties, then communicate with them well, let them understand their thoughts and plans, and let the problem have a good result. Among the values of contemporary teenagers, self is the most important, which means independence and freedom, and it is the minimum ideological resource of modern society. They believe that they should have their own sports, fashion and entertainment, and have their own language and expression. In a survey of senior high school students, more than 70% of the respondents thought: "Our generation and parents' generation are very different in consumption concept, life attitude and even life goals. On the recognition of their psychological maturity, 3 1.8% people think they are psychologically "very mature" and "relatively mature", while 74.8% of the respondents agree with the view that "I think most of my peers are naive". According to the survey, high school students believe that the five behaviors that should be advocated in modern society are competition, law-abiding, filial piety, responsibility and equality. It can be seen that most of our children still accept and agree with the moral values of our modern society. High school students regard "filial piety" as one of the most important moral values in modern society. In a sense, it is an inheritance of our moral tradition. Every generation lives in a specific social and historical background, and their ideology and code of conduct are branded with the times. Therefore, a generation has a generation of culture. The difference in values between children and parents and poor communication have caused a "generation gap" between the two generations. In this case, children often have psychological conflicts and dissatisfaction, and even affect social adaptation. And parents have brought their original lifestyle, behavior and values into a new era of rapid change. They also feel difficult and confused in the discipline of their children, and feel wronged and sad because of their disappointment. So how is the gap between the two generations dug up?

First of all, variation and resistance, the performance characteristics of adolescence, led to the emergence of the "generation gap." Adolescent children's attitude towards their parents changed from obedience and worship in childhood to suspicion, dissatisfaction, criticism and opposition, and began to evaluate their parents' behavior with independent values and moral standards. At the same time, the physiological and psychological development of adolescence makes them emotional and subjective. At first, they didn't like their parents who were contrary to their own thoughts and behaviors, and even tended to bluff to show that they were "adults" with their own opinions. Therefore, the emergence of this gap is completely natural.

Secondly, the difference between traditional concepts and modern concepts is another reason for the emergence of the "generation gap". Living and growing up in different environments and receiving different education will inevitably bring up different ideas and consciousness, and this difference will inevitably form different attitudes and viewpoints on the control and controlled issues. Parents attach importance to tradition, conservatism, authority and obedience; Children need fashion, openness, democracy and flexibility. Although some parents also want to educate their children more openly and democratically, they can't find suitable standards and correct methods; Limited by knowledge and experience, children often lack a comprehensive and objective understanding of tradition, it is difficult to distinguish advantages and disadvantages, and it is easy to stick to a corner and form extreme views. The conflict between them is inevitable.

Third, parents' discipline is unconsciously influenced by past experience, which is also a reason for the formation of the "generation gap". Every parent once had his own ideals and expectations, but failed to realize them for various reasons. Therefore, parents regard their children as an extension of themselves and are eager to think about their unfulfilled goals or ideals in the past. This kind of psychological compensation of parents completely ignores that children are independent individuals and have their own values, so parents and children often complain to each other that they don't understand themselves. The first is the drastic change of teenagers' physical and mental state. The drastic change urges us to discover ourselves, pursue independence, subvert the concept of childhood, and begin to choose and pursue the values of career, friendship, love and life. However, in today's one-child families, parents' lack of knowledge and experience makes them unprepared for their children's changes, so they can only cope in the previous way. Only by letting parents know about this mutation can teenagers bring about corresponding changes in their concepts and consciousness and eliminate misunderstandings and estrangements. The second is the brand of the times. Parents born in 1950s and 1960s need a process of gradually knowing, understanding and accepting the concept of great integration in today's world. In the family, of course, children's ideological and cultural updates are the fastest. Therefore, it is the unshirkable responsibility of children to guide their parents to approach, know, understand and accept the tasks of the times. Third, the rapid development of the times has brought parents nervous, tired and anxious emotional attitudes. Tension, fatigue and anxiety are the important reasons why children don't like their parents and form a generation gap. Don't let parents make decisions when they are in a bad mood. It is the child's duty to help parents eliminate bad emotions. Fourth, children are impetuous, irritable and self-righteous. Well-informed parents certainly don't buy it. Parents: As far as the generation gap is concerned, it is because of inequality, incomprehension and disrespect. Although the old concept that the monarch is the minister and the father is the son has long been denied, it is still deeply rooted in the hearts of parents. Zhang Ailing once said: "Children are not as confused as adults, and most parents don't understand the characteristics of children and young people, so they forget, which makes us forget the psychology of childhood." Zhang ailing's words show that parents don't understand their children's psychology. Parents are the makers of that generation gap, which distorts the greatest love in the world and makes the most selfless love wander in the generation gap. Our parents were born in the fifties and sixties and grew up in the seventies and eighties. Their world was formed in a completely different era from ours. Marxism teaches us to look at problems from the perspective of development, so how can we look at today's problems from the perspective of yesterday? When parents talk to their children and teach them, the attitude of absolute leadership and absolute rule is obvious. This makes the relationship between parents and children form a master-slave relationship. The development of this master-slave relationship will inevitably lead to a generation gap. Child: First, no parents want to have a generation gap with their children. Children don't worry about their livelihood since childhood, and they rarely experience human suffering. Over time, they tend to be self-centered. Parents have been suffering and suffering, but they can't get the understanding of their children. Who can understand this painful mood? Although parents are willing to bridge the generation gap subjectively and objectively, students can ask themselves, how many of us have really given our parents a chance? Secondly, we often say, "There is no scenery in familiar places." Children who have been educated by their parents for a long time are prone to resistance, and a generation gap is formed. Third, parents will have a certain influence on a person's growth. But the so-called external cause cannot determine the internal cause, and the fundamental problem lies in the child. Influenced by various social thoughts, children are immature, it is difficult to grasp themselves correctly, and it is the main reason for the generation gap to disagree with their parents. According to the classics, the world of children is completely different from that of adults. If not controlled, it will seriously affect the development of children. How did Lu Xun cross the generation gap? The solution to the generation gap lies in both sides. Parents should study cultural knowledge hard, know the characteristics of their children in advance, and strive to grasp the characteristics and concepts of the times; Continuous learning and progress; At the same time, adjust your physical and mental state and try to treat your children with an optimistic, cheerful and trusting attitude; Children should be considerate and care about their parents, and adopt appropriate methods to guide parents to understand themselves and the concept of the times; At the same time, we should have a clear and profound understanding of our young and superficial needs. However, the primary responsibility of parents is to support their families; And children's social task is to learn. Both parents and children are responsible for the generation gap. With the advent of adolescence, children's psychology has undergone major changes, with a sense of "adulthood" and a strong sense of social independence, and they have their own independent views on many issues. If parents insist that their children obey themselves, the high pressure of family "power politics" can easily make children have a strong rebellious mentality. This has led to what we often call the generation gap.

The generation gap is objective and normal. However, families need communication, and smooth communication can make families harmonious and help children grow up healthily. To achieve smooth communication, two generations need to work together and give each other understanding and tolerance, so as to narrow or even cross the generation gap. Seeking common ground while reserving differences The so-called "seeking common ground while reserving differences" means that when my children and I disagree on a certain issue, we can reserve our opinions, but we should try our best to find the consistency between the two sides on the issue. More understanding and tolerance between parents and children is a kind of affection. Parents want their children to grow up healthily and have a bright future, and children also hope to get a brilliant life through their own efforts. However, if parents do not handle the problem properly, it may lead to children's rebellious mentality, leading to major differences between the two generations on the issue of * * * *, which is really inappropriate. If some parents expect too much from their children, sometimes their children's academic performance can't meet their parents' requirements, and they often show anxious expressions and dissatisfied words and deeds in front of their children. This is not conducive to the improvement of children's academic performance, and can only have a negative impact on children's mentality. I believe that starting from respect, when I communicate with my children, I should respect them as much as possible and adopt a democratic and equal approach. I am calm and have a good attitude when talking to children. I guide my child to talk more and try to get him to say what he thinks, even if it seems meaningless to him. There is a good saying-get it off your chest!

Dialogue on an equal footing has many advantages. First of all, the respect of parents makes children feel different warmth, and children may respect their parents more and deepen the feelings of two generations from now on. Secondly, children have an object to talk about their troubles from now on, which is very conducive to their healthy psychological growth. Thirdly, children open their hearts to their parents and speak freely, which helps parents to know their children's ideological situation in time and do their ideological work well in time. Take the initiative to find parents and children who speak the same language, because they are at different stages of life and have very different hobbies. However, parents should also keep pace with the times, understand and study young people's hobbies, and get in touch with some new things. In this way, there will be more * * * languages between the two generations, and family relations will be more harmonious. Parents: As parents, our values will definitely be different from those of the next generation, but we should realize that this difference is inevitable because the living environment and growth process of the two generations are different. So we don't need to force our children to maintain the same values as us, but we should seek common ground while reserving differences and try our best to understand them. At the same time, although teenagers in senior high school have initially acquired certain values, they are still not very stable and have strong plasticity, so parents' values will still have a certain impact on their children. Parents' excellent personality charm and outlook on life can set an example for their children. Therefore, as parents, we should set an example and help children to establish a positive attitude, respect and understand their children. Everyone wants to be respected and understood, and so do teenagers. This is also a distinctive psychological feature of teenagers and their common aspiration. Parents should put down their authority and communicate frankly with their children instead of keeping a straight face all day. Research shows that the parent-child relationship in democratic families is much more harmonious than that in authoritative families. Second, let children have their own space. Another feature of adolescence is atresia. During this period, most children become unwilling to talk to their parents, preferring to stay alone in the room rather than tell their parents what troubles and worries they have, but pour them out in their diaries. Therefore, parents should realize that this is a normal phenomenon in the development of teenagers, do not closely monitor all children's behaviors, and must get to the bottom of their children's personal privacy, and do not get to the bottom of it. Third, encourage and praise children. Teenagers have a sensitive and fragile self-esteem, such as necessities, but they need the approval and support of their parents more. Therefore, proper praise, even a small thing, will enhance children's self-confidence, stimulate their sense of accomplishment, make children feel that their parents are connected with themselves, respect their parents more, and strive to do better. Responsible attitude towards children and the concept of strict education for children. Without strict requirements, children's problems in the process of growing up can't be corrected, and their shortcomings can't be overcome, which is very unfavorable to their growth. But strict requirements do not mean beating and cursing, let alone insulting. Don't pay too much attention to the rigor of form, while the attitude and methods are too simple and rude, lacking warm education and convincing reasoning. Parents love children for the same reason. However, due to the different means and methods of education, the results are quite different. Children need constant encouragement as they grow up. Parents' trust, understanding and respect, excessive demands and strict discipline, not only can not make their psychological development normal, but will make them in a depressed psychological state for a long time, and over time they will become tired, weak, depressed and even rebellious. Moreover, stick education will make children indifferent and even hostile to their parents and society. It is very harmful to strictly discipline children blindly, hoping for quick success and instant benefit, but ignoring their psychological needs and the psychological process of personality development. Children are afraid of being severely and passively disciplined when they are young, but with the growth of age and the enhancement of self-awareness, they will naturally show resistance and resistance. To love and teach children, the premise is to understand and master the characteristics of children's psychological development and give encouragement and heuristic education. Strict requirements should be strict and disciplined, that is, within reasonable requirements, within physical and psychological endurance, we should follow the law of development of things and should not rush for success. Children will fly into a rage when they make mistakes, hate iron and not produce, and scold them if they don't fight. Discipline is strictly required. Usually, we should put forward requirements and specify regulations for their behavior, and then standardize children's words and deeds according to the requirements and regulations to guide their growth. If you only rely on your own right and wrong ideas or emotional likes and dislikes to educate, you will only be at a loss. After a mistake is punished, you don't know how to avoid making similar mistakes again, and you will be dissatisfied with your punishment. In addition, strict discipline must be taught without punishment, that is to say, after making a mistake, it is forbidden to beat him regardless of the willy-nilly, and then do not explain the reason for hitting him or point out the mistake. The premise of strict requirements is education. We should stick to education and gradually let children know which behaviors are wrong through education. If the same mistake is repeatedly taught and knowingly committed, it can only be a warning and punishment. It is inevitable that children often make mistakes. Let's not be disappointed in him easily, let alone rush into it. Being kind to children and treating them as yourself will save a lot of trouble. Let the two generations get along happily, and then communicate equally as friends to solve the existing problems and differences together. I hope you can take your child on a journey with sincere love and proper teaching methods, and send him on his long life path. Frankly speaking, I have no experience in educating children. Being a father and a mother is the first time. Inevitably, there will be inappropriate ways to gain children's understanding and explore the road to growth. Parents are not raising children, but growing up with them. Child: 1. Have a correct understanding of parents' care and education for themselves and possible contradictions, experience a lot of hard work and sweat from parents during our growth, treat parents with gratitude and rationality, and adhere to correct views and behaviors. 2. Correctly understand your role in the family, know how to communicate with your parents on an equal footing, and build a harmonious family relationship. 3. Be able to communicate with parents equally, master some specific methods to deal with the relationship with parents, learn communication skills, and overcome rebellious psychology. 4. Know the harm of rebellious psychology, actively communicate with parents, try to have something to say, and improve your interpersonal skills and ability to adapt to society. (1) Go home and go out to greet parents; (2) Participate in parents' chat at home; (3) Trust and praise parents; (4) apologize to parents for doing something wrong; (5) Always put yourself in the other's shoes with your parents and think from their parents' standpoint. I believe that through the joint efforts of two generations, we will be able to cross the generation gap, become good friends and build a bridge for communication between the two generations! !