"Glad to hear that" and "Good advice" are the realms that many people admire, but not many can really do it. We say that everyone should constantly listen to other people's opinions and suggestions in order to reduce and correct their own shortcomings and become more "perfect". However, being good at listening to others' opinions is not blindly following others' opinions. Therefore, it is not only a virtue, but also a kind of wisdom to stick to your correct views and fully "respect" other people's suggestions. ?
Kanmi, a Japanese kabuki master, gave us a very enlightening lesson in this respect. On one occasion, Kanmi was preparing to perform on stage. Suddenly, one of his students called him, "Teacher, your shoelaces are loose." The master looked down and saw that the shoelaces were indeed open. So, after thanking the students, he bent down and tied his shoelaces. But just after the students turned and walked away, the master untied the shoelaces again. This strange scene was seen by another student. After the master walked off the stage, the students quietly asked the master why he did it. Master Kami replied: "The plot of this scene shows the situation of a traveler after a long journey. Therefore, loosening the shoelaces can enhance the realism of travelers' long-distance travel. " "But why don't you tell the student who reminded you?" Master Kan Yu replied, "If I had told him this situation, he would have felt ashamed and would never give me advice again." . This is not good for me and him. "The kindness of Master Kami lies in his superhuman wisdom. I accept other people's advice, and I'm glad to hear it, but I maintain other people's self-esteem. ?
Michelangelo, a sculptor in the Renaissance, also provided us with an example of this. Once, Michelangelo finished a statue and asked his friend for help. It was pointed out that the nose of the statue was too high. Hearing this, Michelangelo turned and climbed up the high scaffold, with a chisel in his hand, carving on the nose of the statue, and marble powder fell down. After a while, Michelangelo came down from the gallows and said to his friend, "Do you feel better now?" "It's perfect," my friend replied. In fact, Michelangelo didn't really decorate the nose of the statue. His chisel was just a gesture, and the spilled marble powder was secretly held in his hand in advance. Michelangelo not only adhered to his own aesthetic views and artistic ideas, but also maintained the self-esteem of his friends. This is good wisdom. An example of such kindness is the wisdom of a grocery store owner in a small town in western China in the 1980s. ?
One day, a thin little boy ran into a grocery store with a handful of change in his hand. Without wiping his sweat, he spread the change on a high counter and timidly asked his boss, "Is this enough money to buy a canned fish?" The boss glanced at the little boy's clothes and the change in his hand and asked, "Why did you buy canned fish?" The little boy said, "My mother is ill. At the hospital, the doctor said she needed nutrition. I heard that fish can nourish the body. This is all my pocket money. I don't know if I can buy canned fish. " After hearing this, the boss said to the little boy, "Well, let me count how much money you have." The boss tidied up the little boy's handful of coins on the counter and began to count them carefully, which was * * * 9.8 cents. "Good boy, you are really good. This money is only enough to buy a canned fish, neither more nor less. " As he spoke, the boss took a can of spiced hairtail from the top shelf and handed it to the little boy. The little boy was relieved and flew away happily with the canned fish. Next to the empty shelf missing a canned fish, the price of canned spiced hairtail is marked: 7 yuan 60 cents. True kindness is not giving money to the poor like a philanthropist-a philanthropist can do anything for the poor except to be one of them. The real sign of character is how to treat a person who can't give you any help. ?
We say that the ultimate of kindness is wisdom, but not all wisdom is kindness. True kindness is a desire to make the world full of love, not an "investment" that hopes others will repay you. Some people's purpose of "doing good" is to accumulate virtue, and the purpose of "accumulating virtue" is to "have a good reward" for themselves or future generations. In the final analysis, selfishness is the ultimate driving force of this kindness. ?
On the other hand, true kindness should be to help others secretly on the basis of fully safeguarding their self-esteem. "Being kind to others is not true kindness"-helping others and being kind to others, rather than creating a heavy burden of gratitude for others. Let's share a little story. This story happened on a farm during the Great Depression in the 1930s. Inflation has caused a large number of urban workers to lose their jobs, and many people wander around and even beg for a living. One day, a foreigner in rags came to a small farm and asked the farmer for food because he had not eaten for two days. The old farmer looked at the stranger and said, "There is a pile of firewood to the east of the farm. I'm too old to carry it. If you can help me carry these firewood to the back cabin, I'm willing to pay three loaves of bread as my salary. " The stranger immediately moved the firewood to the hut designated by the old man, then took the bread from the old man, thanked the old man and left easily. ?
The next day, another hungry tramp came here to beg. The old man said, "There is a pile of firewood in the hut behind the farm. I'm too old to carry it. If you can help me move these firewood to the open space on the east side of the farm, I am willing to pay three loaves of bread as my salary. "
Afterwards, the grandson of the old man asked his grandfather inexplicably: Why does a pile of firewood have to be moved around every day? Grandpa replied: "No one wants to accept alms from others, but they are more willing to get what they deserve through their own labor"-people are equal in soul, and the personality of the poor has the right to be respected.