In those years, the heavy schoolwork overwhelmed us one by one, but how tough life is and the vitality of youth is more vigorous. There are often bursts of laughter in the classroom. The teacher was silent and the students were embarrassed. Is it funny? I will laugh when I seize the opportunity, and I will never be silent. It's not funny to laugh in groups. Laughing makes me want to overturn the roof of the classroom. It's ridiculous.
After many years, I bought a white book-"Are you happy? ",probably because I didn't find the ready-made answer I wanted when I was confused in the book, so I was not impressed.
A few days ago, I found a copy of Bai Shuo in the bookcase. I don't even know when I can buy it home. I hesitated to take it out, going to flip through it casually. This flip has turned over memories of youth one after another and turned over a wave of emotions. In the book, the author's pen, following and colliding with the author's thoughts, is clear again and again, and the carefree feeling of youthful agitation is found again and again. I can't help but sigh that I have gone through youth and a long way, but white is still the same, with the same temperature and attitude.
Therefore, I want to write a text about youth to express the warm current and bitterness in my chest. It is not a review of dialogue, but it is probably destined to be just some words scattered in my mood.
A few days ago, June recommended an album of musical scripts to me, called "Time flies like water" (only today did I know that she made it up by herself, which was very touching). When I first heard a monologue by Huang Lei, my heart was very shocked. Every sentence is right in my heart, as if I had been lonely for many years and suddenly met someone in the desert, and that person happened to be your bosom friend. I got the message before I spoke, and my eyes flowed into my heart.
At this point in life, youth is over. Without youth and recklessness, there is still some enthusiasm and passion left. Now, I am always talking about my youth, consciously being melodramatic, and trying to restrain my feelings from being expressed between the lines and in my speech. Today, I want to enjoy myself. Those memories that were once as light as clouds but burned into memories will eventually turn into words and be carefully preserved and treasured.
In Bai's studio or interview, I am used to being cautious and serious. When I saw him express his heart directly in words, he frequently and unabashedly expressed his tears because of music, words, stories and instant feelings. I was moved by feeling a person's truth and temperature, because that kind of directness and frankness seemed to belong to youth. People can still be as brave, amazing and admirable as him in middle age.
Music and books are necessities to soothe and nourish the soul, at any stage of life, especially in youth. I'm glad that the youth of our generation met the heyday of China pop music. At that time, legends were still active in music and film circles, behind-the-scenes talents were still at the peak of creation, and Cantonese songs were not over yet. All classic melodies are carefully polished by musicians and fans, and also washed and filtered by years. I saw my classmates ask, if time travel can return to my twenties, will you come? He replied: no, because your current song is too ugly! Seeing this, I was deeply moved. It is a sense of pride from the times. We can be proud of what has passed away, except regret and memory. Our youth used to be poor, but now we can be rich.
Speaking of the past, there will be music. Bai encouraged his son: Even if the whole world turns its back on you, there is still music ... how warm and poetic, is this attitude towards life very ethereal? It's actually very real.
In high school, we lived a simple life. When we are still brushing questions, studying by ourselves, during recess and on the way to and from school, we are accompanied by walkman and tapes, which are nourished by music. After I went to college, I heard about Grammy and began to listen to European and American songs. The warmest memory is that when I returned to the dormitory at night, the other three roommates were busy, and the music station FM89.3 MHz was on the radio. During my four years in college, I enjoyed a lot of pop music, most of which were accompanied and guided by The Sound of Music. I stopped listening to the radio after I left campus. Now I listen to it occasionally while driving, but I prefer to listen to the music collected in my mobile phone. But in any form, I have never left music. It is really my longest and most loyal friend for many years.
I first liked Bai because he represented knowledge, strength, direction and attitude. Chai Jing, Shui Junyi and Jing Yidan, CCTV reporters, have objective and individual voices in all the events we are concerned about, which is why I followed and admired them in my early years. The bombing of the Yugoslav embassy shocked the whole country. This international event inspired my feelings for the motherland and my perception of the times. It happened that Bai also mentioned it in his book. Over the years, we have experienced more big and small events together in the torrent of the times, and we have also gone through our own bumpy life path. Even I used to think patriotism was just a slogan, but later even the slogan was redundant. But during the Wenchuan earthquake, I cried all day waiting for news to update the frontline information. I can't wait for the company to organize donations and send money to the bank alone. When I was told that the blood bank was full, I was full of disappointment ... When the China women's volleyball team won the Olympic champion last year, I tried my best to hide my inner ecstasy, and then I thought about the source of excitement and felt a little disappointed.
When I read the warm words, I can finally admit that my patriotic feelings as a warm-blooded young man are not reckless, and the feelings I have hidden for many years have not disappeared. All the excitement, disappointment, anger, contempt, disgust, sadness and pride during this period are due to love. Talking about patriotism now can't help but feel silly and nihilistic, but isn't every attention and touch because of concern? Maybe we are always influenced by politics, but in fact we are more attached to this land, a culture rooted in our blood for thousands of years. History, language, tradition, quality and ideology are what really matter to us.
It's easier to face it calmly than ever before. I see what attracts me to white. It's the kind of calm attitude. This supercilious attitude, which he insisted on at the beginning, still persists today. This is what I feel when I read Pain and Happiness and Today's White Talk. There is no difference. So I was moved by it and respected by it.
At this point in life, youth is over. What is the most important gesture in life? Facing your heart at the moment, that's attitude. Walking on the road of life, it is easy to drift with the tide, and it is easy to be numb inside, not only losing what you cared about in the past, but even denying what you once insisted on.
Many past events have gone to blowing in the wind, but I still remember the day when I graduated from college very clearly. The whole dormitory is like being swept away. I sold all the bedding for forty dollars, weighed all the books, packed my luggage and waited for the time to leave. Sitting on the bare bed, the wind blew in from the balcony door again, and my legs hung in the air, overlooking the whole dormitory and the pedestrians passing downstairs. In the past four years, I have watched the following comings and goings countless times, and this is the last time. Graduation season took a long time, internship, writing papers, going back to school to reply, farewell dinner, and finally getting along for a day and a night ... With these preparations, everyone seemed calm that day, but my heart was extremely lost and sad. When my boyfriend and I broke up, we all knew that we had only known each other for a few days and nothing would change. I was still red-eyed. He patted me on the shoulder and looked relaxed and confident. He believed that nothing would change, and so did I. At the end of the story, on that day, none of us would believe ... there were four people in the dormitory, and I was the third to leave. The ranger escorted me downstairs and we hugged each other before getting on the bus. I tried to restrain myself, but at the moment of hug, I couldn't let go of my arm. The ranger comforted me like a child, and I had a hard time calming down. On the way home, I listened to Fish Leong. ...
Tears welled up in my eyes when I wrote this letter. This day will be unforgettable in my life. It was not until today, twelve years later, that I seriously recalled it for the first time. On that day, we parted and set off. This is an important node in our life. I remember it was a sunny day.
In the past 12 years, I have sent away my youth, and many things are packed and hidden in my heart, leaving it dusty in the years. I was so busy with my life that I forgot my memory and commemoration. My old songs were replaced by children's songs, and my classmates were absent again and again. In those years, we pursued the future together, our dreams, and kept diaries for many years, leaving photos scattered all over the world. ...
Everything seems to have lost its original appearance. It doesn't matter whether we changed the world or the world changed you and me. When I thought there were only memories in the past and memories were just memories, I didn't expect to open a white book again, but I read a familiar feeling, which was the temperature and attitude that had not changed for many years.
Life has come this far. ...
At the end of youth, I feel infinite. Come to think of it, when did I say goodbye to my youth? When can I formally say goodbye to myself in my youth? Never seems to. It seems that it has been dragging on, as if the years have not gone until we say goodbye. However, it is not terrible to end one era. What is worth thinking about is how to start the next era.
Then today! Say goodbye to youth formally and tell yourself that youth is yesterday.
It's still a little sad to say it, but I don't know how brave I am if I don't say it.
Although sad, it is not so heavy. It can be easy to finish, because I know how to start tomorrow-
And temperature and attitude.
Esther of the Bible
20 17.3. 12 am
hush