1897 In the spring, 4-year-old Guo Moruo began to receive family education, reading classics during the day and poetry at night. In Tang poetry, he likes Wang Wei, Meng Haoran, Li Bai and Liu Zongyuan, but he doesn't like Fu and Han Yu. 1900 after the boxer incident, home school education gradually innovated. Besides the Four Books and Five Classics and Tang and Song poetry, new textbooks and written mathematics are also taught. At this time, eldest brother Guo was studying in Chengdu East Literature Museum, and kept sending books and periodicals such as Enlightenment Pictorial, Talking about Gome, New Novel and Zhejiang Tide to his home school. These books and periodicals broadened his horizons and cultivated his democratic consciousness. Guo, the eldest brother, later instilled in him some ideas of "enriching the people" and "saving the country through industry" and mobilized him to study in Japan.
1in the spring of 906, Guo Moruo went to Leshan County High School in Jiading Prefecture to study. The class of "Reading Classics and Lecturing Classics" aroused his love for the old school, and also developed his temper of loving textual research and reversing his conviction in the future. /kloc-in the autumn of 0/907, Guo Moruo was promoted to Jiading Fu Middle School. During this period, besides reading Biography of Three Italian Founding Heroes translated by Liang Qichao, Evolution and Group Theory translated by Yan Fu, I also began to read a large number of novels translated by Lin Qinnan. The strong romantic spirit in Lin's translation of British writer Scott's Biography of Heroes after the Robbery gave him great enlightenment and had an important influence on his later literary tendency. In addition, reading Historical Records also gave him rich ideological and literary nutrition.
19 10 In February, Guo Moruo entered Chengdu Higher Education College to study in Class C of middle school. At that time, Chengdu was filled with revolutionary air. 19 1 1 At the beginning of the year, students in Chengdu launched a wave of parliamentary petitions. Guo Moruo was elected as the representative of Class C to participate in the struggle to call for a strike in the whole city, and was once expelled from the school. In June of the same year, Sichuan Road Protection Association launched a large-scale road protection movement to oppose the Qing government's policy of "state-owned railways". Guo Moruo witnessed the armed struggle of Comrade Lu Bao's army and was inspired by the fighting spirit of farmers and handicraft workers. This movement of Lu Bao became an opportunity for his democratic consciousness to sprout. Then, the Revolution of 1911 broke out and overthrew the rule of the Qing Dynasty. Guo Moruo was so happy that he cut his braid. He thought that everyone would cut off their pigtails and "China would become a world-class power", but the Revolution of 1911 soon failed, and he felt disappointed and miserable: "China! Where on earth should you go? "
1913165438+1On October 6th, Guo Moruo left Kuimen and arrived in Tianjin. Although this is the first time in my life to enjoy the scenery of mountains, vastness, rolling Yangtze River and rolling Yellow River by boat and train, it seems strange, but the deepest impression he left me was the depression and desolation of the northern country. Perhaps the change of seasons in winter has caused the sadness of young people. Hearing the chirping of the train, he thought it was a black dragon "full of skeletons crying on the tracks", as if it were Corona, the cradle of ancient culture.
On the evening of February 28, 65438, on the dim platform of Beijing Railway Station, Guo Moruo looked at the pale face of the eldest brother who saw him off affectionately and said nothing to each other.
The train passes through Shanhaiguan along the Jingfeng Railway. Guo Moruo witnessed the winding high walls around Wanshan Mountain and remembered the heroic spirit that made the governors stick to the pass in the late Ming Dynasty. He really admired the great ambition and talent of the ancients. Now that the "first pass in the world" is wide open, imperialist robbers may break in at any time. How can it not be worrying and chilling? When he arrived in Shenyang, Guo Moruo changed to take the Japanese train of Anfeng Railway, and suddenly he seemed to step into another country, because a large area of land along Anfeng Railway had already been "leased" to Japan, and everything was in the hands of others. I don't know what it's like to drive through Dandong and bid farewell to a "frontier" that is not a frontier. Does this move lead to the abyss of suffering or to the other side of happiness? Guo Moruo was lost in thought. ...
Guo Moruo left, when he was already in Japan.
In Japan, he wrote to his parents, hoping to dissolve his marriage with Zhang Qionghua, but his parents severely refused. So I had to write to ask my parents' forgiveness. At the same time, I wrote to Zhang Qionghua, hoping that she could understand his heart: "We are all victims of old manners. I don't blame you at all. Please don't blame me! It's a pity that you can only be a guest in my house all your life, and I can't save you. "
At this time, she was caught in the net of engagement, which made her taste the bitter fruit of "no husband and no owner" from the first day she entered the Guo family. Day after day, year after year, she spent her youth in meaningless and hopeless waiting, stuck to women's morality, respected her in-laws, and missed her husband ... For 26 spring and autumn, Zhang Qionghua lived alone in an empty boudoir, enduring a long lonely time in infinite waiting.
Guo Moruo wrote romantically in "The Market in the Sky", "You see, the shallow Tianhe is certainly not very broad. I think the cow girl crossing the river can definitely ride the cow. I think they must be wandering in the street at the moment. Do not believe, please look at that meteor. That's them walking with lanterns. " And Zhang Qionghua never crossed this "shallow Tianhe" in her life, nor did she wait for the person who "strolled the street with lanterns" with her.
Twenty-six years later, in March of 1939, Guo Moruo returned to his hometown in Sichuan to visit relatives.
Guo Moruo at this time is not Guo Moruo 26 years ago. He married Guo Anna and Yu Liqun successively, and had many children. Guo Moruo is already a famous poet, playwright, historian, archaeologist, ancient philologist and social activist. Hometown people around Guo Moruo, warmly talking and shaking hands. Only Zhang Qionghua stood behind the crowd, silently watching him as a complete stranger. Guo Moruo didn't seem to realize her existence. At that time, Guo Moruo's old father was 86 years old and was ill in bed. With tears in his eyes, he told Guo Moruo about Zhang Qionghua's contribution to the Guo family over the years, helped him up, and gave medicine and food every day without a single complaint. Guo Moruo immediately stood in awe of Zhang Qionghua. Although he didn't love her, he felt that he should thank and respect her, so he bowed and thanked Zhang Qionghua in front of everyone. Zhang Qionghua didn't know what to do, and the pain and sadness that had weighed on his mind for many years were swept away.
Zhang Qionghua satisfied, but also because Yu Liqun-Guo Moruo's new wife stood beside him.
Before he left, Guo Moruo left the word "Fu Qionghua" in Zhang Qionghua and went away. I have never been back to Leshan since then.
After liberation, Zhang Qiong Hua had no life and moved from Shawan to Leshan City. At first, I made a living by selling clothes, boxes, plates and bowls. Then there was nothing to sell, so she sold it as Ye. This is a sweet food made of glutinous rice, which is very popular in Sichuan. Loyal and honest Zhang Qionghua will not "cut corners". The Ye Er she made is exquisite in materials and tastes good. Although it sells fast, it is a loss. I have to make small shoes and hats for dolls to sell, but I can't make any money. Life is hard when people are old. The relatives couldn't stand it anymore, so they said to Zhang Qionghua, "Write a letter to Baba (Guo Moruo) and ask him to send you some living expenses every month." I said it several times, but Zhang Qionghua didn't agree. She was afraid of giving Guo Moruo trouble. Life is really gone. She repeatedly calculated her monthly expenses, put forward a basic limit and told her relatives, "Let him send fifteen yuan a month." After receiving letters from relatives, Guo Moruo actively supported Zhang Qionghua. He sends fifteen yuan to Zhang Qionghua every month, and with the increase of living expenses, it gradually increases to twenty yuan, twenty-five yuan and thirty yuan. Every time Zhang Qionghua received the remittance, he wrote back according to Guo Moruo's request. This became the only connection between the nominally old couple. ...
Zhang Qionghua has an aunt and niece who work in Xi. She wrote to invite Zhang Qionghua to visit her. So Zhang Qionghua went to Xi for two months. She was going back to Leshan, and menstruation's niece advised her, "It took your old man a long time to come out. Xi' an is not far from Beijing, so just go to Beijing. " Zhang Qionghua thought about it and set foot on the train to Beijing alone. This happened on 1963, and it has been more than twenty years since Guo Moruo returned to Leshan. Guo Moruo met her twice, made a homely dinner, and specially steamed Sichuan meat for Zhang Qionghua. But both of them have bad ears, so they should raise their voices, just like an old couple quarreling loudly. Zhang Qionghua visited many places of interest in Beijing, such as the Forbidden City, Beihai, the Temple of Heaven and the Summer Palace. Zhang Qionghua, like Granny Liu in the Grand View Garden, looked around with surprise and joy. After living for more than seventy years, she finally opened her eyes, for which she was deeply grateful to Guo Moruo. When she left, Guo Moruo's secretary Wang asked her, "What do you want to buy in Beijing?" Zhang Qionghua waved and said, "Don't buy anything." After repeated mobilization by Wang, he went to the shop and turned around, but only pulled a black corduroy. She said lovingly to Wang, "This material is beautiful and durable. I have never worn it in my life. " I feel very sorry for Wang. After reporting to Guo Moruo, Guo Moruo specially asked his secretary to buy Zhang Qionghua a thermos, aluminum pot, cloth and other daily necessities.
After bidding farewell to the bustling Beijing and returning to Leshan, Zhang Qionghua continued to live a nun-like life. She doesn't like killing and seldom eats meat. Except for a poached egg in the morning, the other two meals are vegetarian. Take a walk in the street when you are in better health, or sit in front of an acquaintance's stall and watch others do business for half a day. As she got older, she couldn't walk in the street, so she took a bamboo chair, sat quietly at the gate of the yard and looked at the street silently. I think she has to get used to being alone, but sometimes tears come to her eyes when she looks at it. ...
Guo Moruo once said: "If there is anything I should repent of in this life, it is the most important thing."
1980, the old man who was loyal to Guo Moruo died silently in loneliness at the age of 90. At this time, it has been two years since Guo Moruo died 1978.
She has never felt real happiness in her life. Balzac once summed up Eugenie Grandet's life with painful and regretful words: "She is a monk on earth, a natural wife and mother, but she has no husband, children and family."
Perhaps this is also a portrayal of Zhang Qionghua's life.
From Guo Moruo's marriage with Zhang Qionghua in 19 12 to Guo Moruo's marriage with Guo Anna in 19 16, these four years were the most difficult "detours" in Guo Moruo's life, which dealt a great blow to Guo Moruo who was far away from home and had just entered the society. The unfortunate marriage in his hometown, heavy studies and hard life in Japan made him feel in a trance. A cold wind from the north hit his left sideburns, blowing his unkempt hair to the southeast, and his bloodshot eyes stared ahead. But what he saw was not the prosperity on the road, nor some brick red and white buildings. These things are like a stream of blood in his usual life, which increases his heartache, but they did not appear in front of his eyes today. He looked straight ahead and saw nothing but nothingness. From this nihilistic point of view, a lonely ship floats on the bloody Yellow Sea ... "-"Wandering Trilogy, Parting "
During this period, Guo Moruo did not have any literary works.
"Phoenix" is not yet "Nirvana".
Guo Moruo was 24 years old at that time.
Guo Moruo is unfortunate, and Zhang Qionghua is even more unfortunate.
Guo Moruo's first song "The Wrong Road" is here-"Universe, Universe, I will try my best to curse you: your bloody slaughterhouse! What a pathetic prison you are in! You ghosts howling graves! You are in hell! Why on earth do you exist? " Begins and ends in mourning.