It doesn't feel real to let others help you write your paper. It can be seen that you are not the kind of person who will do whatever it takes to achieve your goal. To tell the truth, many people ask others to write ghost letters, and many people do so openly. In fact, this is irresponsible to yourself. After all, students' main task is learning, and the thesis is the final summary of learning, which is quite memorable for their academic career. Therefore, it is natural to finish the graduation thesis independently.

You mentioned that you really can't write. Maybe you didn't pay special attention to it at first. It's much simpler than you think. No one will attend the meeting. This process requires constant learning, reference and consultation. If you are willing to work hard and pay for it, you will certainly make remarkable progress. When you write successfully, you will have a great sense of accomplishment. No matter what happens, you will encounter many other difficulties in your future work. Remember to learn this lesson, don't set limits for yourself too early, try to see it, and after you devote yourself wholeheartedly, you will find that the result is unexpected and your ability has been greatly improved.

As for you saying that you don't want to get a diploma because it doesn't feel true, personal advice is better to get it back, because it is very useful.

I wish you better and better!