Chapter 12 Family Furnace

1, children are extremely keen learners, family life is the earliest school for individual emotional learning, and parents should be good at being emotional teachers. Parents' high emotional intelligence will benefit their children endlessly.

2. EQ is an important foundation of all learning activities. Although the formation of emotional intelligence runs through the whole learning stage of individuals, the opportunity to shape the elements of emotional intelligence lies in the first few years of life. Parents' behavior can cultivate children's self-confidence, curiosity, interest in learning and understanding of limitations, which can help children to succeed.

3. The way of parent-child interaction will instill completely different feelings into the child and affect his understanding of himself and the closest people. Pure neglect may be more harmful than direct abuse.

The lack of empathy will be passed down from generation to generation, and cruel parents must have been cruelly treated by their own parents in childhood. Abused children, like the epitome of their violent parents, have learned cruel coping styles very early.

Chapter XIII Mental Trauma and Emotional Re-learning

1. Post-traumatic stress disorder: Invasive memory of violence will become a strong and lasting experience and form a conditioned reflex. The harm of post-traumatic stress disorder lies in lowering the set value of nerve alarm, making individuals regard ordinary daily moments as emergencies.

2. The sense of helplessness comes from the subjective feeling that an event has overwhelmed everything and the individual has been completely destroyed. People who feel helpless are more likely to cause post-traumatic stress disorder afterwards

3. The acquired fear distorts the mechanism of learning and memory. However, strong emotional memory and the thinking and reaction patterns it causes will change with time.

4. The recovery of post-traumatic stress disorder can be divided into three stages: gaining a sense of security; Remember the details of the trauma and mourn the losses caused by it; Finally return to normal life.

Chapter 14 Character is not fate

1. Temperament can be divided into at least four types: timidity, boldness, optimism and melancholy.

2. Genes themselves cannot determine behavior. Our environment, experience and knowledge shape our temperament tendency. Emotional intelligence is not innate, but can be improved through correct learning. Childhood is a critical period of emotional education.

3. The key period of brain development is adolescence, which is repeated and forms emotional habits. Childhood is a critical period for shaping a person's emotional tendency in his life, and the habits formed in childhood are difficult to change.

4. The key skills of emotional intelligence, childhood has a critical period of several years. Each period represents an opportunity to instill good emotional habits in children. If you miss this opportunity, it will be much more difficult to correct your child in the future.